I have a draft of this blog post that expresses, in long form, why. But I've made peace with everything concerning my previous partner a while back. I came to a solid conclusion last week! I'm not angry at her, I'm not sad about us splitting, and I'm not frustrated with her making incendiary comments, undoing every word of encouragement she ever told me, behind my back to our mutual friends.

All these feelings I addressed before, but at the end of the day, I realize that what she wanted was a fling. What I wanted was a wife. We originally both started it as a fling and that's what it should have stayed. No love should have ever been expressed from her side or mine... She was fresh out of divorce, and I should have known that's what she wanted. I don't regret it at all, it felt good while it was happening. All of life is a learning experience and that's what this was for me! I don't think poorly of her, at all. Quite the opposite. At some level I'll always love her, but that moment in my life is done

I've taken away GREAT lessons from this experience about women and recognizing things. I actually learned what a "blind rage" is as well. The aftermath in my psyche is pretty amazing... if a bit scary to the outsider, looking in. I'm really happy with myself because I controlled this blind rage into a directed rage. I was able to get a hold of it and I know its face now! I have a visual representation of the "sin" that I didn't have before (long story, I may talk about it sometime).

I learned about a new path in life I can take to get to my dreams! Because of this Ex-Lover issue, my schooling suffered drastically and I have a strong reason to leave this POS school I was going to! I have to maneuver a bit, but I can make it to another program, but i just have to bide my time! No longer making ridiculous drives! The world has opened up for me, in a sense. I can go anywhere!

My business is doing well, I'm staying busy all the time. This is all very good stuff! My birthday is in a few days, so I will be starting a new year! It's two months to the DAY today that would make it a year exactly, that we started our physical relationship... Our "anniversary" if you will. it didn't make it, but I'm not sad about it! I have a new life, a new love for life and I'm doing well. I'm 100% back to me

Now where's that Gym! gonna work on this body image stuff I've been having issues with! It's working so far! I can see me losing more fat, and I see my body changing day by day! I already feel 10 times better about myself. I will reach my goals! My eating has changed, and I didn't go into a depressive Binge eating thing over this whole mess. So proud of myself for that!

Onward and Upward!

Before I pressed POST I got another business appointment, This is GREAT!