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It's probably the worlds worst kept secret that i'm still deeply in love with my ex-GF. it is what it is. My older women friends have told me it's best to leave the past in the past... wounds can't heal if you keep re-opening them. Reduce the scars by leaving the past where it is.
That's so much easier said than done. maybe she put a spell on me. Gave me wickedly good sex, was a genuinely good person, if a little flirtatious. I'm not going to be mad at her as I am too. I didn't know I was until she pointed it out. Ya'welp... If she wants to know about me, she can say something to me. I'm a lot better than I was a while back. I can even go a large portion of a day without her bouncing around in my mind, constantly, sometimes. though she does come up way too much in conversation with me and my friend. he spent some time with me in one of the areas I spent a lot of time with her... way too much stuff popped up just from being there, and now i can't stop it from bubbling up when i talk to him. Working on that, too.
Gotta get my eating under control. I'm being a pig LOL! bouncing around 228-230. Definitely re shaping as far as body is going but I'm definitely gaining weight in the face again. GAH!
Anyhoo, I'm going to figure this stuff with my ex-GF. and then figure this stuff out with my WEIGHT!
I saw some picture of me in highschool from a Jazz-Band performance... I used to think I was so fat in highschool... i looked at this photo like "Wow, that guy wasn't really that fat... why are kids so mean?" It was nice
TO ADD:
Wild boys... In the process of writing this last night, I saw her. What a crazy cocktail of emotions. It was like ripping the "scab" off. I really love her but I have to move on. She dumped me... It wasn't mutual. I have to remember that.
Leave the past where it is. I had no clue just seeing her would cause so much craziness to rattle loose inside me, LMAO!! the good thing is that it DID rattle loose.