Had a massive panic attack about 3 hours ago. I've never had one before. It started in my sleep over something stupid, and it just spiraled. My chest hurts. no cold sweat, just really anxious. I'm fidgety. Couldn't really go back to sleep. I'm thinking I might should go to the Gym.

I think I'll go. This place motivates me... when ever I post my blog, I feel convicted for not going to the Gym. I'm going now.


Okay, back now...

This is crazy, I feel a little better. I'm worn a bit, but I feel like I did some good work. I only did four miles in 19 minutes. Likely to have gone way above that if I had allowed myself to go through the pinnacle. I needed energy because I was trying a new exercise setup given to me by my boy with a body to die for... the weighted bear crawl. WOWWWWW it was fantastic. A total of 70 lbs in your hands while trying to "rock climb" across the floor. keeping your back straight and trying to bring your leg up while moving the opposite arm was pretty hard for someone who can't dance!

I looked in the mirror right next to me and I was smaller then I used to be, but still looked like a fatass and I'm not even that big, mostly. Body dimorphism, i'm sure, but I felt good about my current workout! I have a goal! to be able to do 3 times as much as I did my first time around. I'm still going to continue with biking but instead of regimented weight training, I'm going to do athletic training.

I was able to do 5 steps per set (did 3 full and a half hearted 4th)before I gave up with 35s. goal is to do 3 sets of 15 steps with the 35s before I set a goal of using higher weights. I think I'm going to focus on strength training on off days. I want triceps and biceps and chest. AHHH I'm going long for no raisin now

Tootles