Painful Penetration

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

A member had brought up an issue in another thread that I thought was interesting and wanted to expand upon.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/womans-...ml#post1401969

I have some thoughts about this issue and wanted to ask a few questions:

Sounds like your pain is at the point of penetration, is this on the inner or outer labia?

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

It's on the inside and happens also when having smear tests (I think you called them pap screens).

I've never used a lubricant as it's never been needed so I don't think it's caused by that.

I kegel daily to try and help me control my muscles and relax them when needed.

Nurses have said they believe I may have a form of vaginisum but I'm not sure as once sex is underway there's no problem at all. And from what I've read of vaginisum it's continuous, it doesn't just stop after a few thrusts.

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

Tara some coconut oil in the bedroom may be of some help to get things going, as its pretty safe for vaginas.

Have you thought of having a set of either dildos or vibrators going from really thin and skinny to just under hubbies size and use them in foreplay, or even masturbation as a way over your problem as you said its just those first few thrusts that hurts.

This is just an idea for you both to save on the OO's and are's at the point of penetration.

Really good foreplay has got to be a winner for you

One last thing when you having a baby, lots of things come into play that never happen at any other time, that's the magic of giving birth.

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[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

Women produce lube from both exterior and interior glands. The Bartholin glands, located on the labia secretes mucus to help prepare for penetration and it can often get clogged. If you do not secrete this mucus prior to penetration, it will cause pain upon penetration no matter of size of the penis until enough lube is available to soften the labia minora. Artificial lubes can help but your natural is always better. May want to ask your doctor if your Bartholin glands are working properly, even if one is down it will affect penetration.

I have had experience with the Bartholin gland not working. Now that I have educated myself on its purpose I realize that our bodies are very intricate in their workings. My external and internal secretions actually have a different feel/texture to them and therefore a different function.

If your pain is deeper in the vagina there are reason for those issues also depending on where the pain is resonating from.

Considering there is no known cause for Vaginismus I feel it may be an overused condition by doctors that don't delve into the real reasons a women is having painful intercourse. I think you should ask more questions and give more detail to your doctor to get to the bottom of your issue before resigning yourself to a painful sex life.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

I've had a bartholin cyst, I was operated on twice when I was 21.

I've got one now, but they now say just leave them unless it hurts or blocks things now in the UK.

But it's definitely not a wetness issue, I've recd comments regarding how wet/turned on I must be.

I honestly don't know what it is. I wonder if other men have wives and partners the same??

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

I have been told that our nerves sometimes get a little confused. So the initial sensation might be read as pain and then readjusted to the pleasurable. I'm not sure of the name. I have been told this happens.

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

I've had a bartholin cyst, I was operated on twice when I was 21.

I've got one now, but they now say just leave them unless it hurts or blocks things now in the UK.

But it's definitely not a wetness issue, I've recd comments regarding how wet/turned on I must be.

I honestly don't know what it is. I wonder if other men have wives and partners the same??

I was not dry either prior to my procedure, as I also had secretion prior to intercourse, and have always been quite "juicy", but it is not the same secretion as from this gland and it makes all the difference in the world.

The bartholin cyst can definitely still be the issue. I was told the same thing but honestly even though I had no pain, complained anyway to get it taken care of.
What I had done was a marsupialization and it completely change my situation.

There are different methods for taking care of the cyst and I am not sure what you had done when you were 21. Anywhere from sitz bath to the extreme of removing the gland which removes all functionality. The procedure I had opened it up to drain the cyst then she created a whole new duct for me to secrete from, so that the gland could still do what it was designed to do. Didn't know what I was missing out on until the gland started working again.

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

I've had a bartholin cyst, I was operated on twice when I was 21.

I've got one now, but they now say just leave them unless it hurts or blocks things now in the UK.

But it's definitely not a wetness issue, I've recd comments regarding how wet/turned on I must be.

I honestly don't know what it is. I wonder if other men have wives and partners the same??

With My wife Tara the wetness thing stated way over 30 years ago, we used Baby oil, and never had a problem with until this last year or so, so now it coconut oil works just as good, but its only ever been that side of things.

Have you ever tried long session's of foreplay to see if that relax's you more with some good oral sex where is trying to lose his tongue inside you, drinking some wine during foreplay may also help.

Question, has there ever been a time when there's never been pain, if so think why and what was you doing before, is there a position you can have sex in were it does not happen?

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[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

I had mine drained at 21 then three months later it got blocked again and I had to have it drain again under general.

The doc has just told me to leave it this time, it's about the side of a small marble to the side.

If I'm honest I think it's a head issue. Even though I don't want to, I think somehow I tense up until the first few thrusts have happen. It doesn't matter what position.

It doesn't matter if I've had a little booze beforehand. And it's always happened, maybe I've trained myself this way?

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

I had mine drained at 21 then three months later it got blocked again and I had to have it drain again under general.

The doc has just told me to leave it this time, it's about the side of a small marble to the side.

If I'm honest I think it's a head issue. Even though I don't want to, I think somehow I tense up until the first few thrusts have happen. It doesn't matter what position.

It doesn't matter if I've had a little booze beforehand. And it's always happened, maybe I've trained myself this way?

Sure, you could be all in your head but I think your bartholin cyst is an issue and you should talk to them about the procedure I told you about. The OBGYN that I went to said draining never works as it will always come back but the marsupialization is a way to keep the gland and get rid of the problem. Once it's gone you may find yourself feeling less self conscience and more relaxed therefore finding penetration enjoyable instead of painful. It can be done as an outpatient and my insurance took care most of the expense, all but the deductible.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

It's free on the NHS. I'll speak to my doctor to have it done.

[Ravenously Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ravenously]

Now Hard:

I thought coconut oil is discouraged from being used as lube because it creates a pro-bacterial environment. Has this not been an issue for you and your partner?

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Tara - listen to ZZW. She had what was a golf ball sized bulge when she was excited that caused her discomfort. The first doctor she visited told her to just do sitz baths with epsom salt and it will heal itself. She asked for a second opinion and found a doctor who was very familiar with this issue. That doctor told her that we can drain, but it will come back. Her surgery has changed things for the better. You will be 4 weeks or so to heal and then you can gently get back into the swing of things. But from a partners perspective, it holds way more benefits to doing the surgery than not.

I wish you well.

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

Now Hard:

I thought coconut oil is discouraged from being used as lube because it creates a pro-bacterial environment. Has this not been an issue for you and your partner?

Hi As I have read lots of times coconut oil helps you get ready for quality time between the sheets. The reason? Unlike other lubes, coconut oil is all natural and doesn't contain any preservatives or added ingredients that can cause adverse reactions in people with allergies, says Landa. "Plus, it's way more lubricating than a water-based version so it lasts longer." Coconut oil has also been shown to be anti-fungal, so it can help keep nasty yeast infections at bay. It even works great as a massage oil before or after sex.

I first cocme across it on the Dr Betty Dodson pages, as she is a lover of it along with almond oil and some other fruit oils, Good Old Betty is sexual therapist, run class's on masturnation and how to orgasm, but you need to be a women to get in.
　
Try her site dodsonandross dot com, you find some great reading there.

Baby oil after 3o years started to give my wife BV, with coconut oil not anymore,
and now get as much slip.
　
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