Indifference

[slunk Senior Member Member of the Month July 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close slunk]

Do you think it's better for a guy to open up and show interest right away or act aloof?

I'm not talking about extremes like someone obviously trying way too hard or someone completely ignoring you, but which side do you think is best received by the majority of people?

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Depends on the situation doesn't it?

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Depends also on the other person.

[slunk Senior Member Member of the Month July 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close slunk]

Doesn't everything?

I was just wondering what your guys' preference is with the different personalities.

[AverageDude48 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close AverageDude48]

Since this is the "Women's Perspective" I would clearly not qualify to respond, but will anyway! :-)

I can tell you that "trying way too hard" is not going to end well. Generally speaking. It will put you in the "needy" category or in the "friend-zone" faster than you can say "What just happened here?". Again, generally speaking.

So, while I am not really suggesting that you act aloof and disinterested, trying too hard will backfire. Generally speaking.

So, why do I say "Generally speaking" after every statement?

The others have answered perfectly - it depends on the situation and the other person! Generally speaking! LOL! I could not resist.

[KMWylie Senior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close KMWylie]

Do you think it's better for a guy to open up and show interest right away or act aloof?

I'm not talking about extremes like someone obviously trying way too hard or someone completely ignoring you, but which side do you think is best received by the majority of people?

I, personally, think it's best to show at least some sort of interest. Here's why...

Let's say there's a person you're interested in, but you're being aloof so they have no clue you're interested. Now, they actually kind of like you too - but, since you've showed zero interest, they shift their focus to someone else and end up with that person.

You've both missed out on a potential relationship, because you didn't indicate any interest.

I'm a risk taker and a "better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all" kind of gal.

Now, like you said, don't go to an extreme.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Ways to make friends and influence people. Show interest in them. It will go further than remaining aloof. There is a huge step between this and trying too hard.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

I'm ignoring Tara...playing hard to get!

[Ravenously Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ravenously]

Stop worrying about it.

True indifference means letting go of expectations.

The fact that it even registers on your radar means that you are not indifferent and are likely communicating neediness. Dont change who you are for other people (unless who you are sucks, then you need to take a look at yourself).

All these wannabe PUAs just don't get it.

You know who never worries about being "Alpha" ? The guy that is secure in himself and just naturally is.

[Ravenously Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ravenously]

Ways to make friends and influence people. Show interest in them. It will go further than remaining aloof. There is a huge step between this and trying too hard.

Yeah, but I don't think "friends" is the end game here.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

No but showing interest is needed for the other also. I agree with your additions to the topic.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

I however am showing neediness to Tara. So she will show interest to me over that silly monkey man over there.





Apes hate being called monkey. It is part of my stratedgy.

[Ravenously Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ravenously]

I think you mean stray-tee-jury.

Who in their right mind would choose a damn filthy ape over such a well dressed penguin?

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

I'm ignoring Tara...playing hard to get!

Don't worry I enjoy a challenge and always get what I want in the end 😊

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

You want it innthis end?