GF orgasmed with one night stand but not with me

[magnumpi Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close magnumpi]

Hello,

this is my first post here, I actually started PE because of something that kept me worrying for a while: My GF and I recently started dating, sex is getting better after it was rather disappointing for her in the beginning. I took Cialis to assist my limp member but that's another problem I'm tackling right now. Now, I'm not terribly experienced but I can eat a girl out and have made some girls feel very good before. She says she's enjoying it very much and I that I am a perfect fit for her pussy. I have no real reason to doubt her and her tightness also feels very pleasurable to me. Still, she never even comes close to orgasm.

I asked her whether she ever orgasmed during intercourse (she's not experienced at all) and apparently, just before us dating, she met this guy online. They hooked up and fucked five times in one day and she says she's pretty sure he made her cum (maybe even multiple times). She also told me (after I asked) that his dick was "a little" bigger than mine. I'm 6.7 x 5.5 so I'd assume he is at least 7.5 x 6 or so. She can't pinpoint what made her cum she just said it was continuous stimulation for about 5 mins or more. In general she never masturbates and cannot make herself come by touching her clit.

I'm in love and I would really like to make her cum, I admit it's some kind of ego thing as well. So, what can I do? I cannot imagine that a one night stand provided her with so much emotional connection that the mind plays a big role in the orgasm. Can it be the additional size or rather the girth? Can it be angles or rhythm? I'm not very good with angles I have a hard time aiming anywhere with the penis to be honest. Continuous thrusting hasn't helped so far though. I'm kind of sad about the fact that one guy can make her cum with no real emotional attachment and I cannot even though there's a very deep connection. Is it really just the dick? I can hardly imagine as I'm not that small. Trying to gain some girth via PE though.

[july Banned Find all posts View Profile Close july]

Wow, you are incredibly naive. Haha, im literally laughing out loud reading this particular part "she never masturbates and cannot make herself come by touching her clit." There is no help for someone that is that incredibly naive.

[magnumpi Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close magnumpi]

Mind bestowing some of your enlightened non-naive knowledge upon a naive guy?

[july Banned Find all posts View Profile Close july]

just remove the questionmark from your sentences in the last paragraph and you have given yourself the answer from your own experience/thinking. You are definately not small. Sad thing is a 99th percentile penis gives a feeling a smaller one can't which almost exclusively relates to girth if above 6 inches length.

Also stop believeing everything your girlfriend says that you want to hear like her not masturbating (I hope you realize its a lie).

[Cavalier Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Cavalier]

Wow, you are incredibly naive. Haha, im literally laughing out loud reading this particular part "she never masturbates and cannot make herself come by touching her clit." There is no help for someone that is that incredibly naive.

july if you don't have anything useful to contribute then please refrain from posting.

[magnumpi Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close magnumpi]

just remove the questionmark from your sentences in the last paragraph and you have given yourself the answer from your own experience/thinking. You are definately not small. Sad thing is a 99th percentile penis gives a feeling a smaller one can't which almost exclusively relates to girth if above 6 inches length.

Also stop believeing everything your girlfriend says that you want to hear like her not masturbating (I hope you realize its a lie).

Maybe it's a lie but I have no reason to assume that. I have had previous partners who masturbated and admitted but this one I don't think does. As I said she is not experienced at all, why would she lie? She's very open about sex in general.


I usually try to attack problems in a "scientific" way and I can imagine good girth can provide more stimulation at once and on different parts. However she already feels very tight with me. As I said, my technique and even stamina is not perfect, surely room to improve. I tried different angles and didn't notice any change except that we were "bottoming out" in doggy sometimes. However when girth is the most important thing there, I might shift my focus a little more.


I'd like to hear more comments on whether the difference from say 5.5 to 6 in girth is really a make or break moment for PiV orgasms. Another thing I noticed is that she gets very wet which I enjoy. At that time there is not so much friction anymore. This might be where a girthier member can come in handy and do the trick. Is this plausible?

[july Banned Find all posts View Profile Close july]

Maybe it's a lie but I have no reason to assume that. I have had previous partners who masturbated and admitted but this one I don't think does. As I said she is not experienced at all, why would she lie? She's very open about sex in general.


I usually try to attack problems in a "scientific" way and I can imagine good girth can provide more stimulation at once and on different parts. However she already feels very tight with me. As I said, my technique and even stamina is not perfect, surely room to improve. I tried different angles and didn't notice any change except that we were "bottoming out" in doggy sometimes. However when girth is the most important thing there, I might shift my focus a little more.


I'd like to hear more comments on whether the difference from say 5.5 to 6 in girth is really a make or break moment for PiV orgasms. Another thing I noticed is that she gets very wet which I enjoy. At that time there is not so much friction anymore. This might be where a girthier member can come in handy and do the trick. Is this plausible?

Since one persons experiences amounts to very limited knowleadge I try to listen to top penis enlargements urologists and at least one doctor claims the only thing that determines vaginal orgasm ability is penis girth assuming you are at least avarage in length. Although he mostly performs penis girth operations. Most likely it is a girth thing. However there is also a whole "bottoming out fallacy" to delve into which is based on the fact that feeling the end of the vagina takes around an avarage penis, but the vaginas end can stretch a lot deeper.

If you want to find out the truth and you are not a stranger to scientific apporaches the only way is to buy a dildo which is longer in length than your own member but the same girth dildo A. and buy a dildo that is the same as your member in length but bigger in girth dildo B. Then use these dildos on your girlfriend during sex and see which one promotes an orgasm. If none does than the answer is both longer and girthier :/

Just realized it might be hard to sell the idea of using dildos if she is not willing to expirement. BUT the perfect solution is a "cock sleeve" buy one for pure length extension and one for girth extension.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Sorry, but dick size is irrelevant.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Her saying she's pretty sure she orgasmed, makes me think she didn't. You would know.

I think stop putting pressure on yourself and her to cum and just enjoy sex. It will all work out with practice.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

You also mention the mind and emotional connection - have you considered she might be worrying how she looks or sounds during sex with you.

If she wasn't interested in the other gentleman, these things wouldn't cross her mind.

[Ellford Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close Ellford]

I took Cialis to assist my limp member but that's another problem I'm tackling right now.

Actually, this could be directly related. Cialis is going to increase blood flow to your penis and make it hard or harder. If this other guy had good, hard erections, he would feel fuller to her and could appear larger due to the complete hard-on, even though you could be technically larger. Even if he was bigger, if your soft(er), then you'll appear smaller than someone with a smaller penis but better hard-on's. You would also have an issue hitting all the spots if your not fully hard.

Now, I'm not terribly experienced but I can eat a girl out and have made some girls feel very good before.

Perfect! Most guys are hopeless at this as they don't try or care. If you focus is her feelings (mental and physical) in bed, then you'll be the best lover ever, regardless of penis size. Trust me on this.

They hooked up and fucked five times in one day and she says she's pretty sure he made her cum (maybe even multiple times.

That's a pretty hard thing to do unless you're younger. But I doubt this had anything to do with it.

She can't pinpoint what made her cum she just said it was continuous stimulation for about 5 mins or more.

THIS is the number one reason. Combine this with a harder and fuller erection, regardless of penis size and this will do it.

What I can tell you, is the more turned on a woman is (mentally here), the easier time she's going to have climaxing. Physical attraction is not the mental part and this is where you can take the lead.

Spend time getting her into it and focus on HER and not a moment about you cumming. Start with a sensual full body massage (use a non-oily/greasy massage lotion), which includes the hair, scalp, temples and cheeks. Then go down on her and make her cum, but be "gentle". Go back to the massage and do her legs, starting with her calves (ignore her feet right now), move up and massage her thighs and then go down on her again and make her cum. Then back to the massage and work her feet and do her toes. Spend extra time on her heels. Then go down on her again and make her cum.

Now roll her her onto her stomach and do some kiss play. Kiss her scalp, neck, and down her back and gently run your fingers down her sides. At this point she she be far onto her journey to being mentally into it. While she's lying on her stomach, enter her and fuck her that way. This position will put the head of your penis on her G-spot due to the angle. This is NOT doggy style.
Hold her sides wile you slowly thrust away, gradually increasing the speed.

If your having PE issues, pull out before you cum and tell her "I'm not done with you yet" in a soft voice, roll her over and go down on her again. This also gives you and your penis a "sensation break". After she cums, move up to a missionary position, but cup her legs and put them over your shoulders. Then enter her. This gives you an incredibly deep angle (if you were a smaller size, this can actually help you appear larger as you hit the deepest areas of the vagina). At your size you're going to feel like a god.

At this point thrust away until you cum. This should make her cum as well if you can thrust at this angle for a while. Regardless, if you do this, it'll be the most mentally, mind-blowing sexual experience she's ever had, I guarantee it. Just make sure you have plenty of time on your hands as doing the above can take a couple hours.

[SoraSora Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SoraSora]

You asked so much about the penis that it seems far more likely that that's simply your insecurity, and not the reason she felt more pleasure with him. It seems far more likely based on that that it was for other reasons; take it as a challenge! You now have a sort of goal you can reach for in aiming to please her, and can improve yourself as her lover that way.

Also, I'd wager novelty and all that may have played a part in it, given it was a ONS. But that's just an idea.

[magnumpi Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close magnumpi]

Thank you for these great and insightful answers, what a nice forum.

Her saying she's pretty sure she orgasmed, makes me think she didn't. You would know.

I think stop putting pressure on yourself and her to cum and just enjoy sex. It will all work out with practice.

I was also thinking the same thing, maybe she didn't actually. She has no idea how to cum clitorally and mentions a burning sensation in her feet that she is not able or willing to overcome. I told her that we're in no rush and can take all the time necessary.

THIS is the number one reason. Combine this with a harder and fuller erection, regardless of penis size and this will do it.

[...]

Spend time getting her into it and focus on HER and not a moment about you cumming. Start with a sensual full body massage (use a non-oily/greasy massage lotion), which includes the hair, scalp, temples and cheeks. Then go down on her and make her cum, but be "gentle". [...]

[...]

If your having PE issues, pull out before you cum and tell her "I'm not done with you yet" in a soft voice, roll her over and go down on her again. This also gives you and your penis a "sensation break". After she cums, move up to a missionary position, but cup her legs and put them over your shoulders. Then enter her. This gives you an incredibly deep angle (if you were a smaller size, this can actually help you appear larger as you hit the deepest areas of the vagina). At your size you're going to feel like a god.

At this point thrust away until you cum. This should make her cum as well if you can thrust at this angle for a while. Regardless, if you do this, it'll be the most mentally, mind-blowing sexual experience she's ever had, I guarantee it. Just make sure you have plenty of time on your hands as doing the above can take a couple hours.

The first "problem" is that she doesn't even enjoy being eaten out. I encouraged her so much (because it's such a turn on for me) that she will let me do it now but I'm rather certain she doesn't get too much out of it. I made women comen with oral before but for her it's probably too much to feel so far, even if I go really slowly and take my time (no problem for me, I enjoy every second of it). Actually her clit doesn't seem that sensitive to touch but after a while of nice fingering action she feels this burning in her feet/legs which I suppose will kind of block her from an orgasm. I would suppose this is a mental learning process and requires a great deal of trust.

Regarding the leg on shoulders position you suggested - we already tried it and it feels fantastic for me and also for her. With Cialis I can go a while, needing the odd few seconds of pause to balance my pelvic floor. She appeared to enjoy it very much but didn't come close to an orgasm. She gets very wet after a while, great, but limits the amount of friction possible.

It's true, it might as well be my insecurity shining through all of this and I agree that it's an ego thing wanting to make her cum so bad. She, rightfully, called me out on it, telling me to enjoy what we have rather than focussing on the missing thing while reiterating that she loves doing it with me. I have learned to enjoy the moment as well though, so it's not that much of a deal but it's still something that keeps crawling back into my mind from time to time and I'd like to take on this challenge somehow. Damn ego...

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

You also mention the mind and emotional connection - have you considered she might be worrying how she looks or sounds during sex with you.

If she wasn't interested in the other gentleman, these things wouldn't cross her mind.

Exactly! There was no commitment with guy, she could let be all about her. In other words she was relaxed, not interested in his needs or wants.

Hmmm. Sounds a lot like my Mrs.

[SoraSora Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SoraSora]

I'd like to take on this challenge somehow. Damn ego...

Maybe it can help to think of it this way: If in a year you've learnt to make your girlfriend cum more or less on command, and have her in the palm of your hand sexually, would you be happy you found out about this and it led you to improve yourself?

Good luck friend!