Curious about my GF and her size. What is normal? Is ther a norm at all?

[user768251 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close user768251]

My first post and not a native speaker, bear with me please.

I am here because my selfconfidence has successfully been destroyed by my current partner. I am not a player/PUA, but just regular dude. I had 3 relationships before: 1y, 4y, 9y. All of them nothing extraordinary, all of them sexually satisfying. These are also my only sexpartners. I guess I am quite sensible. ONS or sex for fun are just not my thing. Hence I have pretty zero experience.

Now I am with a girl which destroyed the picture of my unit. She told me "not to be the biggest" with this perfidous giggling subtone, when comparing me with her past sexual intercourses, which have been ~40 and 16 at least she let in (she cant remember exactly). Thats the first time I started to think about my size, I am not huge I know, but its nothing to hide as well, i guess (~19cm BPEL, ~14,5 EG).

However and this is where it begins to be a problem for me: Sex is not that satisfying for her and not always for me. She has problems to orgasm. We talk a lot about it. She said sex with her ex, which was "way girthier than I am", was fine and orgasming not a problem. She did not especially say that this is a problem with me, but well I see what happens: not much. Also her sex drive is somewhere near zero.

I noticed that she is way looser than my past GFs. I talked about this with her, because I had problems staying hard in several positions, e.g. doggy. I just feel nothing. I've even seen a urologist for that very reason: i'm fine.

Sometimes after sex she vents an enormous amount of air down there. I asked her if she used toys excessively in her past: Never she said. She lied to me, i guess. (can tell since I did things I am not proud of, saw peeled off Zucchinis in her bed). This difficult for me because I have virtually no reference. But my ex GFs were like what I read a lot here on the forums. Two fingers okay, three may be painful, four maybe when well prepared. Now heres my experience: when I gape her butt cheeks her vaginal opening, gapes visually two fingers wide (sorry for the possibly pejorative words, i just dont have any others) and when we have sex and I am in there with my - in her eyes ridicule near 6" EG - I can easily put three fingers besides there without her mimics even changing slightly. Nothing my previous sexual partners could have ever take without crying.

I have the impression that I am not sufficient for her and whe debate a lot on frequency of sexual intercourse. With her past relations she had a lot more. But thats difficult to say if thats comparable because we got an unplanned baby 3 months after meeting the first time, which I agreed to not abort. 4 months later she confessed that she cheated on me in the first month. She also refused to omit the Anti-D-Prophylaxis, although we have the same blood type, which renders prophylaxis needless. Thats another story but it contributes to my suspicion, that she is a opportunisic pathological liar, which I dont want as a partner, also if there is a baby. Coparenting is possible today I guess. Although my homelocatoin is 400km away.

I am not exactly sure what I want to achieve with this post. Maybe a combination of "I just need to share this with so" and I want to be able to asses her. I am not exactly sure, what would be my consequences, if any at all. But somehow I feel the urge to have more knowledge, at least more reference for what is normal.

Let me know what you think. Thanks in advance and regards

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Stay strong bro.

[BlueMorpho Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BlueMorpho]

Sorry to hear about your relationship woes... you don't seem to be going through happy times. Perhaps now would be the right time to assess whether she is the right person to keep as a life partner. Sometimes, a sixth sense nudges you to reconsider the decision to jump into a new relationship, and more often than not it is something you should at the very least listen to. Do you see yourself being happy as a couple over the long haul? I mean, even if you don't know this yet, you still should have an overall feeling for where this is headed. What is this intuition telling you?

Once you can comfortably answer that question, it'll be easier for you to decide if you want to pursue this relationship or not.

[MalikMasvidal Member Find all posts View Profile Close MalikMasvidal]

This aint it bro. So many red flags.

-She's clearly a sex addict
-she's not satisfied with you even though you're huge
-her pussy is gaping loose
-her body count is through the roof
-she's a liar
-she's already admitted to cheating on you (remember that shes a liar, who knows how many other times. she mentioned it happened "in the first month" just so it wouldn't be a big deal)

she's taking the anti-D but I think all Rh- mothers are given it just incase (for those unaware, theres a condition that can happen where if the mothers blood is Rh-, but the father was Rh+, then if the baby is Rh+ then the mothers immune system will attack the baby, giving anti-D can stop this attack. But if both parents were Rh- then its not possible for the baby to be Rh+, its been a while since I learnt this so sorry if I got anything wrong). Theres a lot of different factors like mix up during testing, or especially that the mother can lie about who the father really is, so thats why a lot of hospitals just incase give all Rh- mothers anti-D just to be safe.

But you're wondering even if there is a baby? don't you go to the doctor with her, since its supposed to be your baby? Because I'm sure you're also wondering if its even your baby. It just seems like she's leeching off you. I wouldn't be surprised if she gave you an STD either.

How long do her relationships usually last, how long was the one before you, what was her longest relationship and how long ago was that? The answers to these are big indicator whether she actually wants you, or is just finally trying to settle down, and to do so is just using you.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

So you need a paternity test and for her to do kegels .

If she is not worth the trouble move on .

[VirgilD5to6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close VirgilD5to6]

I didn't read the whole blog but you are big! And from what I can see, she is a size queen so my advice here will be RUN! I wish I was 19cm.

If she is loose and can't orgasm, then let her find another partner who can make her orgasm. If you're really into her and think she is worth it, use different techniques. But come on man, with 19cm you can do every single position. and you can definitely make her cum countless times. Get a sex course and learn the ways of satsfying a woman. I guess you;re not using it right if you can't make her cum.

My current partner's exes were bigger than me (I am 15-16cm with girth of 11.5cm and her ex partners were like you I'd say) , and I made her cum more times than them. Last time I hit the record with making her cum 14 times with my average size 6''!!!!!!!!

[Ashealth Administrator, Tech Admin, & Editor Find all posts View Profile Close Ashealth]

For female sizing, I would say the 2-3 finger measurement is a pretty good comparison. Also, was she like that prior to the baby? I ask because it takes about 6-10 weeks for the vagina to return to approximately the same contour and size it was before you had a baby. It won’t be exactly the same size though. Kegels can help with that though. Outside of that, it sounds like she doesn't respect you and with that, you have to make the choice if this is worth it in the long term. If not, the sooner you end it, the sooner you can find someone who is perfect for you.

I also wouldn't worry about the baby, do the paternity test and do co-parenting since it's 2021. The distance can be worked out. If the baby is yours, ask yourself if this is a relationship you'd like your child to grow up seeing, if not, then co-parent.

[Polemicist Member Find all posts View Profile Close Polemicist]

Buddy, IT IS NOT YOU! From what you wrote:

1. She's trash.
2. The baby was HER plan.
3. She is mentally and emotionally abusive. Putting you down is a solid way to control you and manipulate you. You start to doubt yourself She's narcissistic. She's controlling. Comparing you with a partner like that is a classic move of a narcissist. Go search in YouTube for "signs of narcissistic partner" and judge for yourself.
4. WTF are you talking about? You are way above average. Even if you were below average or below average a good partner would build you up. This is bullshit and you know it in your gut.
5. She is not healthy for you.

My man you need to make sure that the baby is yours and even if the baby is yours, you don't have to stay with her. There are good women out there and you deserve love and respect. Don't settle.

-----
Trust you gut feeling. You know who she is in your gut. Listen to it. Stand up for yourself and stand tall, stay strong. If you ever wanted to rant or just talk, pm me.

[user768251 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close user768251]

Do you see yourself being happy as a couple over the long haul? I mean, even if you don't know this yet, you still should have an overall feeling for where this is headed. What is this intuition telling you?

Once you can comfortably answer that question, it'll be easier for you to decide if you want to pursue this relationship or not.

I am definitely. She is like made for me. Well reflected, empathic, extremely caring to our baby, educated, intelligent (guess this is where this egoist as long as nobody notices stems from), good looking, sexy, self confident (also sexually, well she has experience), most of the times, but at times she tends to be a reckless egoist or toxic. Her words, even if expressed seldomly to only once, kill me.

Even if I didnt knew I'd still suspect.

Considering the width: The feeling down there and her words simply dont match.

Considerung the numbers: I dont believe the numbers, not even yet after her confession. Especially since I read a local post, where a bunch of (near or over) tree-digit bodycouter girls discussed, which number is optimal to communicate. They found a tradeoff between credibility and the danger of potential rejection at #11. Which was coincidentially the same number she started with. Increasing it from time to time, when she "remembered" things. Also her carisma, her confidence/behaviour while having sex (which is on the other side a really good thing) and perspective on sex over 30 (weary, she calls it lucky, because her sexdrive and selfconfidence was manipulated by studs/PUAs with their somewhat well known strategies, carrot and stick etc) and my suspicion that she was different back then, gives me the intention that she was even more different, meaning very sexually active. Also, as she told me, she just learned from me, that its not an achievement to have a lot of sex with men, while studs have to work really hard for success (slut/stud meme). She had a lot of male friends and battled on their student 3-day party weekend pickups.

This is something which bugs me. With or without knownlegde/confessions. Its twofold: 1. I cant get the feeling to be safe with her, clearly as Malik said, she was (is?) a sex addict with a focus promiscuity. 2. Her self-worth seems to trouble her. She gets depression and psychosis every other year, also way before our time. Guys, she really tried to retrospectively argument the anti-D, with sorrows about immaculate conception, and the high penalty if its not my baby. FML, I guess I still repress this times and fights. Today she tells me that she knows that this was a psychosis.

This aint it bro. So many red flags.

-She's clearly a sex addict
-she's not satisfied with you even though you're huge
-her pussy is gaping loose
-her body count is through the roof
-she's a liar
-she's already admitted to cheating on you (remember that shes a liar, who knows how many other times. she mentioned it happened "in the first month" just so it wouldn't be a big deal)

I did not even think of this. I grew up somehow mentally sane, with a set of moral values. This was simply beyond my imagination.

… that the mother can lie about who the father really is, so thats why a lot of hospitals just incase give all Rh- mothers anti-D just to be safe.

Yes, this also fucks my faith in women (like so much other things). In my country we have 16% cuckoo children. 16! 16 by accident with contraception vs. 84 planned without. My broken mind makes me believe that the dark number of adultery intercourse is about 50:50.

But you're wondering even if there is a baby? don't you go to the doctor with her, since its supposed to be your baby? Because I'm sure you're also wondering if its even your baby. It just seems like she's leeching off you. I wouldn't be surprised if she gave you an STD either.

Wonder what? Sure I go to the doctor with them. Sure I am wondering if it is mine.

Hypothetically she's leeching. I am father at home atm, she finishes her pracitcal studies. I have to finish mine too. But I am just not that much egoistic and also finacially my studies are not rewarded. This puts a lot of pressure on me, since I go in advance for her. I am selfless. If she drops me after here studies (the hypothesis), I am not sure what this will do to me. She's vaccinated at least against HepB, which afaik is relevant for promisk or drug users. Another source of insecurity.

This is one of my worst nightmares. Really I wake up at night a lot. Scared as fuck, beeing abused as a Beta while she is "shopping" around.

How long do her relationships usually last, how long was the one before you, what was her longest relationship and how long ago was that? The answers to these are big indicator whether she actually wants you, or is just finally trying to settle down, and to do so is just using you.

All but one below 1y. Cheated on one. The other was 3y, but she used him (studied in other city and needed accomodation). Cheated on him with the next. Went back after unrequited love. Then I came into the game. She hopped around over some months. I forced her to get exclusive or i'll leave the game. She agreed, but as I said, she still cheated. 3 months later: baby. f-m-l it is really horrible for me to recapitulate. Remember I screwed her up stalking months later and she confessed AFTER the discussion about and my agreement not to abort. Baby was 5m then. This is the shit which I take amiss. Yes and like others said here, this gives me the suspicion, that she was finally just trying to find someone to settle with not in her homelocation , where - i guess - she has bad reputation.

So you need a paternity test and for her to do kegels .

If she is not worth the trouble move on .

Way easier said than done.

I didn't read the whole blog but you are big! And from what I can see, she is a size queen so my advice here will be RUN! I wish I was 19cm.

If she is loose and can't orgasm, then let her find another partner who can make her orgasm. If you're really into her and think she is worth it, use different techniques. But come on man, with 19cm you can do every single position. and you can definitely make her cum countless times. Get a sex course and learn the ways of satsfying a woman. I guess you;re not using it right if you can't make her cum.

My current partner's exes were bigger than me (I am 15-16cm with girth of 11.5cm and her ex partners were like you I'd say) , and I made her cum more times than them. Last time I hit the record with making her cum 14 times with my average size 6''!!!!!!!!

She is difficult to please. Like most of the women she has troubles to orgasm. She is an even more special case, because she has to clench legs, contract dozens of muscles, have her own speed, etc. If she does nothing, nothing happens. Her words - maybe this was meant to be special for sex with me, but it sounded meant generally, but then again maybe this is also a white lie.

Also, was she like that prior to the baby? I ask because it takes about 6-10 weeks for the vagina to return to approximately the same contour and size it was before you had a baby. It won’t be exactly the same size though. Kegels can help with that though. Outside of that, it sounds like she doesn't respect you and with that, you have to make the choice if this is worth it in the long term. If not, the sooner you end it, the sooner you can find someone who is perfect for you.

I also wouldn't worry about the baby, do the paternity test and do co-parenting since it's 2021. The distance can be worked out. If the baby is yours, ask yourself if this is a relationship you'd like your child to grow up seeing, if not, then co-parent.

Fortunately the birth made her tighter. Its over a year ago now. Shes to lazy for kegels, although shes at times incontinent and has also been before the birth as well. Sure I have to worry. If I break up I work for this child the next 30 years. Upkeep is high and gas expensive in my country. Also I really like her, if there weren just these things. Its a dilemma.

Buddy, IT IS NOT YOU! From what you wrote:

1. She's trash.
2. The baby was HER plan.
3. She is mentally and emotionally abusive. Putting you down is a solid way to control you and manipulate you. You start to doubt yourself She's narcissistic. She's controlling. Comparing you with a partner like that is a classic move of a narcissist. Go search in YouTube for "signs of narcissistic partner" and judge for yourself.
4. WTF are you talking about? You are way above average. Even if you were below average or below average a good partner would build you up. This is bullshit and you know it in your gut.
5. She is not healthy for you.

My man you need to make sure that the baby is yours and even if the baby is yours, you don't have to stay with her. There are good women out there and you deserve love and respect. Don't settle.

-----
Trust you gut feeling. You know who she is in your gut. Listen to it. Stand up for yourself and stand tall, stay strong. If you ever wanted to rant or just talk, pm me.

Somewhat these comments feel good, but on the other side it also makes the dilemma fucking my head even heavier. atm I am on the fuck history/forget/stay side.

[MalikMasvidal Member Find all posts View Profile Close MalikMasvidal]

I mean like, you can clearly do better bro, it just seems like you're scared you won't get anyone as pretty or into you. I'm surprised you haven't ran already, considering her relationship history which is filled with cheating, using and abusing, and hopping from one dick to another, not only that, she's cheated on YOU bro (that she's admitted to).

I have a feeling its not your size thats the issue, or even all the muscle contractions or stuff she needs to do during sex, I think she's just bored. She was used to the chase, thats what would get her off. Now she's in a safe boring vanilla relationship with you. Idk how you guys have sex, but maybe you need to put more emotion and drive into it, I'd recommend to read "Sex God Method" by Daniel Rose, you can find a free copy online easy, he talks about how to get your women to keep coming back my incorporating dominance, emotion, variety, and immersion, the size isn't the issue. I don't agree with everything the author says, but mostly he knows his stuff.

Bro everything screams the classic signs that she's trying to settle down after riding the cock carousel. She was really promiscuous to the point that she was ashamed to tell you the full truth, cheated on her partners, she used sex to get what she wanted. She's in her over 30s, she gets pregnant and she decides to keep the child, why? because she's realizing time is running out and she needs to settle down. Her sex drive (with you) has gone to zero. She's a size queen and her pussy is really loose. Btw, even more prevalent than HepB, is HPV, which 80% of people who are sexually active will get. She has mental health issues, depression and psychosis. She admitted theres a chance the baby isn't yours! You're too nice and selfless bro, thats what makes you the perfect victim. Realistically think about what she brings to the table in this relationship, besides sex (which she's not even providing), what benefit do you get from her? Being a good mother to her baby is in her interest, it doesn't count as something that benefits you.

Like others have said, get the test, order a home paternity test kit NOW, and get it done, you don't need to tell her. If it comes back that its not your kid, then run. If it is then you got more thinking to do.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

I am definitely. She is like made for me. Well reflected, empathic, extremely caring to our baby, educated, intelligent (guess this is where this egoist as long as nobody notices stems from), good looking, sexy, self confident (also sexually, well she has experience), most of the times, but at times she tends to be a reckless egoist or toxic. Her words, even if expressed seldomly to only once, kill me.

Even if I didnt knew I'd still suspect.

Considering the width: The feeling down there and her words simply dont match.

Considerung the numbers: I dont believe the numbers, not even yet after her confession. Especially since I read a local post, where a bunch of (near or over) tree-digit bodycouter girls discussed, which number is optimal to communicate. They found a tradeoff between credibility and the danger of potential rejection at #11. Which was coincidentially the same number she started with. Increasing it from time to time, when she "remembered" things. Also her carisma, her confidence/behaviour while having sex (which is on the other side a really good thing) and perspective on sex over 30 (weary, she calls it lucky, because her sexdrive and selfconfidence was manipulated by studs/PUAs with their somewhat well known strategies, carrot and stick etc) and my suspicion that she was different back then, gives me the intention that she was even more different, meaning very sexually active. Also, as she told me, she just learned from me, that its not an achievement to have a lot of sex with men, while studs have to work really hard for success (slut/stud meme). She had a lot of male friends and battled on their student 3-day party weekend pickups.

This is something which bugs me. With or without knownlegde/confessions. Its twofold: 1. I cant get the feeling to be safe with her, clearly as Malik said, she was (is?) a sex addict with a focus promiscuity. 2. Her self-worth seems to trouble her. She gets depression and psychosis every other year, also way before our time. Guys, she really tried to retrospectively argument the anti-D, with sorrows about immaculate conception, and the high penalty if its not my baby. FML, I guess I still repress this times and fights. Today she tells me that she knows that this was a psychosis.



I did not even think of this. I grew up somehow mentally sane, with a set of moral values. This was simply beyond my imagination.



Yes, this also fucks my faith in women (like so much other things). In my country we have 16% cuckoo children. 16! 16 by accident with contraception vs. 84 planned without. My broken mind makes me believe that the dark number of adultery intercourse is about 50:50.


Wonder what? Sure I go to the doctor with them. Sure I am wondering if it is mine.

Hypothetically she's leeching. I am father at home atm, she finishes her pracitcal studies. I have to finish mine too. But I am just not that much egoistic and also finacially my studies are not rewarded. This puts a lot of pressure on me, since I go in advance for her. I am selfless. If she drops me after here studies (the hypothesis), I am not sure what this will do to me. She's vaccinated at least against HepB, which afaik is relevant for promisk or drug users. Another source of insecurity.

This is one of my worst nightmares. Really I wake up at night a lot. Scared as fuck, beeing abused as a Beta while she is "shopping" around.

All but one below 1y. Cheated on one. The other was 3y, but she used him (studied in other city and needed accomodation). Cheated on him with the next. Went back after unrequited love. Then I came into the game. She hopped around over some months. I forced her to get exclusive or i'll leave the game. She agreed, but as I said, she still cheated. 3 months later: baby. f-m-l it is really horrible for me to recapitulate. Remember I screwed her up stalking months later and she confessed AFTER the discussion about and my agreement not to abort. Baby was 5m then. This is the shit which I take amiss. Yes and like others said here, this gives me the suspicion, that she was finally just trying to find someone to settle with not in her homelocation , where - i guess - she has bad reputation.





Way easier said than done.



She is difficult to please. Like most of the women she has troubles to orgasm. She is an even more special case, because she has to clench legs, contract dozens of muscles, have her own speed, etc. If she does nothing, nothing happens. Her words - maybe this was meant to be special for sex with me, but it sounded meant generally, but then again maybe this is also a white lie.



Fortunately the birth made her tighter. Its over a year ago now. Shes to lazy for kegels, although shes at times incontinent and has also been before the birth as well. Sure I have to worry. If I break up I work for this child the next 30 years. Upkeep is high and gas expensive in my country. Also I really like her, if there weren just these things. Its a dilemma.



Somewhat these comments feel good, but on the other side it also makes the dilemma fucking my head even heavier. atm I am on the fuck history/forget/stay side.

Look get your story straight as to the woman she is as a start point .

[watersnake Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close watersnake]

Buy her the kegelbell set (if she does something good) then post a log

[user768251 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close user768251]

Look get your story straight as to the woman she is as a start point .

I dont get this as a foreign speaker. Can you please rephrase?

[Forberg Member Find all posts View Profile Close Forberg]

I see only failures here. Never have a sex without being 100% sure you will not get a baby. A child is something you don't wanna have without thinking about it first. Never.
The second thing is that never trust fully any woman, put yourself at the first position and take care about your needs as she is completely not worth of it.
Take a red pill and wake up.

[Trax2Brax Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Trax2Brax]

That was nightmarish to read through, and I have no idea how you have endured through any of that.

Like the other posters said, you need to get a paternity test ASAP. No ifs ands or butts, get one today immediately if possible.

If the child is indeed yours, you need to set up some kind of trust for them (or whatever equivalent in your country) to inherit your assets. For the love of god don't let her touch any of that money for your child as she'll use it for her own selfish means.

God bless, and I wish for you the best.