Why would you ...

[GTO Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GTO]

This quote was taken from another thread but it brought up an interesting question:

I have had discomfort from too hard circumcised .. but it was partly because the penis had a pronounced head and it was also larger then average in general penis size..It would start happening after longer sessions or multiple sessions or if i wasn't horny..It wasn't ever time i had that cock but it did happen..i also can find some toys too hard ...it can depend on how aroused i am.

I still like hard cock though

Why would a woman (or even a guy) bother to have sex when they are not horny, in the mpod, feeling it - whatever name you want to put on it? Wouldn't that cheapen the act and turn it into 'pity sex' just because you think you're pleasing the other person?

And please let's keep it civil ...

[Mr McPenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mr McPenis]

If you're talking about casual sex then I don't see why anyone would want to unless they feel social pressures from people and feel they need to. If you mean sex in a relationship, I would say it would be for the sake of the relationship and the pressures which may be put on by it to have sex, as well as the desire to please their partner.

[GTO Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GTO]

That's what I'm talking about - "the desire to please their partner." I guess I'm missing something here. If you two are in sync, then you know when the person is in the mood or not. And if it's faked, aren't you essentially lying to them? Do that long enough and sex can turn into just an 'act' instead of somethin special between you two. If I just want an act, I can get that from any woman.

Why bring that dynamic into a committed relationship?

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

Well i was in a relationship with a guy who as the relationship progressed he became more sexually selfish, he didn't care ..it was all about his needs..he stopped putting effort into foreplay or even caring if i was in the mood.. became quite aggressive...

also Some women do give sex because they know their partners sex drive is higher and they can't keep saying no..they might not be in the mood but sex is part of what relationships are about ..so its about not being selfish and putting another persons needs first.

[GTO Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GTO]

You say it's about putting the other person's needs first ... but if the relationship were healthy, wouldn't the partner also put the other's needs into consideration? Why does the 'needs of te other person' always seem one way? It seems as if (and I'm not generalizing here) a lot of women use that as their answer, but then use that as a weapon or a mark against their partners when things start going south in other areas of the relationship. Guys experience this too but not to the degree that women do (from my perspective).

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

Like with anything in a relationship, Its about balance and compromise.
Sometimes the person who is horny and in the mood compromises and doesnt get sex or accepts their partner is not in the mood and lets it go ..Other times the partner who isn't in the mood compromises and has sex knowing therr partner is in the mood... if you have one person giving either way more then the other ..then resentment can build.
In an ideal relationship or world.. peoples horny in the mood or not in the mood matches up and its not issue but we don't live in a ideal world so compromises need to be made.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

That's what I'm talking about - "the desire to please their partner." I guess I'm missing something here. If you two are in sync, then you know when the person is in the mood or not. And if it's faked, aren't you essentially lying to them? Do that long enough and sex can turn into just an 'act' instead of somethin special between you two. If I just want an act, I can get that from any woman.

Why bring that dynamic into a committed relationship?

Gee GTO, without meaning to, you just described what my marriage was like.......

That's how the sex was too. God it was horrible.

[GTO Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GTO]

Gee GTO, without meaning to, you just described what my marriage was like.......

That's how the sex was too. God it was horrible.

Exactly my point and then it all ends up a total mess. This whole 'compromise' thing when it comes to sex often ruins more than it helps.

Case in point: my GF is over last night and I'm horny as hell but I can sense she's not into it. So we hang out, play some cards and go to sleep. This morning, I'm strugglin to het outta bed (it just felt real damn good lying there) and she starts stroking me, but not in a way that usually lets me know she's feelin it as well. I'm not into having a blowjob just to have one - sex with her means more than that to me. So I make a joke, get us both laughing and get up to get dressed. Did I want to start my day with a blowjob? Damn right I did - why not? But I wasn't going to have it like that knowin that she wasn't there mentally all the way. I know she wanted to please me but I would rather both of us be in the moment than one do it out of some sense of obligation.

Now, I'm only talking about sex in this context of this discussion. I firmly believe there are other times in a relationship where this give and take is necessary. But sex is on another planet and should be treated differently because it is so powerful and dictates so much.

[sweetie52 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sweetie52]

I think that sex is not just about the act itself. I agree, sex is not just about the other person. If a couple is in sinc with one another-sex is comforting, reassuring, sometimes just plain sufficing a need. If the people involved know one another and care for one another, they also do not feel that they are being taken advantage of when one person needs something that the other can provide at that moment. I do see the point though when one of the persons just uses the other for their own needs-never giving back.I personally like to provide comfort to my PFL when I see he needs it. But he is also aware that I have sexual needs too-and he satisfies me well.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Exactly my point and then it all ends up a total mess. This whole 'compromise' thing when it comes to sex often ruins more than it helps.

Case in point: my GF is over last night and I'm horny as hell but I can sense she's not into it. So we hang out, play some cards and go to sleep. This morning, I'm strugglin to het outta bed (it just felt real damn good lying there) and she starts stroking me, but not in a way that usually lets me know she's feelin it as well. I'm not into having a blowjob just to have one - sex with her means more than that to me. So I make a joke, get us both laughing and get up to get dressed. Did I want to start my day with a blowjob? Damn right I did - why not? But I wasn't going to have it like that knowin that she wasn't there mentally all the way. I know she wanted to please me but I would rather both of us be in the moment than one do it out of some sense of obligation.

Now, I'm only talking about sex in this context of this discussion. I firmly believe there are other times in a relationship where this give and take is necessary. But sex is on another planet and should be treated differently because it is so powerful and dictates so much.

Ordinarily GTO, I'd agree with you 100%.

In this instance, however, if it were me in your shoes this morning and even though my gf may not have been into giving me head, I'd have certainly let her do it. Relationships are about compromise and sacrifice. She may not have been into it 100% but I don't see where it would be wrong for her to take care of her man just to do it and make you happy. I see nothing wrong with that. Maybe it's just me???

Also, and again this is just me, but a girl doesn't just start strokin' a guy because she's not feeling it. Most women, if they aren't feelin' it, aren't gonna even start strokin' it. Again, JMO.

[Lazy 8 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Lazy 8]

You say it's about putting the other person's needs first ... but if the relationship were healthy, wouldn't the partner also put the other's needs into consideration? Why does the 'needs of te other person' always seem one way? It seems as if (and I'm not generalizing here) a lot of women use that as their answer, but then use that as a weapon or a mark against their partners when things start going south in other areas of the relationship. Guys experience this too but not to the degree that women do (from my perspective).

There's another difference between men and women having an asynchronous mood. If a guy's not in the mood, he may not even be able to get it hard so he can satisfy his horny partner. If you're under 30, you won't know that to be the case, but later in life you'll learn it can happen.

[GTO Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GTO]

There's another difference between men and women having an asynchronous mood. If a guy's not in the mood, he may not even be able to get it hard so he can satisfy his horny partner. If you're under 30, you won't know that to be the case, but later in life you'll learn it can happen.

LOL - I'm nearly 40 an everytime she walks by it seema like I catch wood - if I'm in the mood or not! My body just reacts ... weird .. to her. But I do understand your point.

[GTO Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GTO]

Ordinarily GTO, I'd agree with you 100%.

In this instance, however, if it were me in your shoes this morning and even though my gf may not have been into giving me head, I'd have certainly let her do it. Relationships are about compromise and sacrifice. She may not have been into it 100% but I don't see where it would be wrong for her to take care of her man just to do it and make you happy. I see nothing wrong with that. Maybe it's just me???

Also, and again this is just me, but a girl doesn't just start strokin' a guy because she's not feeling it. Most women, if they aren't feelin' it, aren't gonna even start strokin' it. Again, JMO.

Not that I didn't want her to (believe me I did) but I knew she still wasn't feeling well. I guess from my point of view, I saw it as her trying to maintain something what she normally does just for the sake of doing it (because that's how we always 'wake' each other up is with sex - we both tend to be pretty horny in the morning). I didn't want it to be an obligatory thing.

[funflyer Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close funflyer]

There are plenty of times when either myself or my spouse is horny as can be but the other isn't. I have had sex plenty of times when one of us is horny and the other isn't. A great example is she's been home thinking about it all day. I work 16 hours and want to go home and go straight to bed. I walk in the bedroom to a great surprise and although I really want to go to bed I can tell she really wants some. Do you tell your spouse take off the outfit, roll over, go to sleep or do you accomodate?

Another example would be the thread about waking up to sex. One is awake the other is asleep. Obviously the sleeping person was not horny.

Marriage is a give and take. I would rather give sex when not in the mood than have her even consider looking for it elsewhere. Besides it usually doesn't take much to get someone in the mood.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Not that I didn't want her to (believe me I did) but I knew she still wasn't feeling well. I guess from my point of view, I saw it as her trying to maintain something what she normally does just for the sake of doing it (because that's how we always 'wake' each other up is with sex - we both tend to be pretty horny in the morning). I didn't want it to be an obligatory thing.

I can see that. However, did you ask her if she genuinely felt up to it and wanted to or was she just doing it out of "habit"? Only she would know how she feels and if she's truly up for it or not. See what I'm getting at here brotha?