Ladies (and relationship-savvy guys) I have a question ...

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

Alright ladies, is this normal? My wife loves to talk. She says talking is like her "foreplay". I think that is how she sucks me in. She'll say something like, "don't worry, we'll have sex, but first let's talk".

OK, since you put it that way, I'm all in. Let's talk!

The problem is that her talking NEVER ends! We just keep talking and talking and talking. And by "we" I mean "her". What eventually happens, after an hour or two, I just cannot take it anymore and I end up getting frustrated. And trust me, there are few things in life that destroys sexual energy as well as frustration.

All things considered we have a great relationship. But it just happened again last night, so I'm just getting shit off my chest. What do I do? Am I just being a wienie? Should I "man-up" and just take her to the bed room? Or do I just need to accept things the way they are?

Thanks for your time. I understand this is not a life/death situation. 90% of the time I am very happy. Just looking for input.

[Dangs7 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dangs7]

What kind of stuff is she talking about?

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

What kind of stuff is she talking about?

Hey great idea!!!!!! I can give you her cell number and let her talk your ear off. haha.

Seriously, no specific topic or direction. She'll mostly just talks about stories I have heard a dozen times before. Fortunately I tell her about my "penis friends" (the pegym.com bloggers), so every now and again we talk about my penis. My ears perk up at that point.

Like I said, I think she's typical of most women. They just love to talk. Guys ... we love to get down'n'dirty. I love her to death. I think I just need to be a man and take charge for a change.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

Is she a home maker or work outside the home? Does she have girl friends or family she talks too also?
It's funny she can stand talking that long about trivial topics with her husband. Usually we do that with other people lol.
If I were a man I would talk to my wife outside or over dinner and maybe a half hour while resting in bed or on the sofa. But I would keep the talking away from being a Pre requisite for sex.
Little by little get her to talk in spurts without asking for sex. She should want to jump you no talking required unless she's talking about sexual things and getting wet over it.

I don't know but I talk but its not connected to my sex desires.

Hope this helps

[TehDBare Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TehDBare]

She may be feeling isolated as poster above alluded to, but she may also just not feel connected to you. Maybe she needs to feel close to you emotionally first before sex. Could also be that she needs to de-stress first. Women have sex when they are relaxed, men have sex to relax.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

Well for the record I am female and I need/use sex to relax. So if I need sex at that moment I ask for just sex. After that I am feeling good and if we both want more we stay in it for the making love part. Otherwise that will be at another time lol

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

Tell her she she can talk while getting spooned.Or stick your dick in her mouth as a last resort.

Seriously man, grope and finger her while she talks.She will stop talking and start moaning.

[jcwhs7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jcwhs7]

i agree with camarp, just get to the point (sexually) dont be scared.

who am i to talk anyways.... my girl always likes to talk first, and when i get to start kissing here, like making out, then she kinda backs off and just starts a subject. its a freaking horny kill! i sometimes get mad at her because im all into it and she isnt, and when she is.....im not into it anymore, but i still screw her after

i think its just a girl thing, which is lame.

[MapleLeaflet Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MapleLeaflet]

My wife does the same thing sometimes. She calls it "bonding time," "switching gears" time, or "getting-into-the-right-mood" time. Unfortunately, it often comes at the wrong moment, and I am not as patient as you are (meaning I can't take it for an hour, more like five minutes only). Two solutions: First, you let her know she can start talking in the kitchen while you guys eat or outside while you take an evening walk, but she can do it on one condition - she would have to exhaust her verbal power by the time you are in the bed. Second, you let her talk while you are in the bed, but then you just passively listen (meaning ignore the details) and respond with one-liners, meanwhile doing your little dirty work, like kissing, touching, massaging, going down on her, etc. Sooner or later it will work, she will warm up, and you guys will get down to business.

If I personally had to choose between a wife who talks too much (to me) versus a wife who does not say much and silently turns her back towards me in the bedroom, I would pick the one who is excessively verbal. At least, it means she is interested in me.

[Frog Senior Member Member of the Month March 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close Frog]

Alright ladies, is this normal? My wife loves to talk. She says talking is like her "foreplay". I think that is how she sucks me in. She'll say something like, "don't worry, we'll have sex, but first let's talk".

OK, since you put it that way, I'm all in. Let's talk!

The problem is that her talking NEVER ends! We just keep talking and talking and talking. And by "we" I mean "her". What eventually happens, after an hour or two, I just cannot take it anymore and I end up getting frustrated. And trust me, there are few things in life that destroys sexual energy as well as frustration.

All things considered we have a great relationship. But it just happened again last night, so I'm just getting shit off my chest. What do I do? Am I just being a wienie? Should I "man-up" and just take her to the bed room? Or do I just need to accept things the way they are?

Thanks for your time. I understand this is not a life/death situation. 90% of the time I am very happy. Just looking for input.

Good Morning!

She loves you more than you know! Her timing is poor, but for some reason she feels this is the only time she gets your complete attention. Are both of your schedules hectic? Do you have regular "date nights" ? Hobbies together besides sex...

I have got an idea....start playing racquetball together! Talk, exercise, interaction, sweaty.......IMHO....she wants more time with you, figure out how to do that and the talking issue will improve and so will the sex. Foreplay can go back to what it should be..

[kal foo Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kal foo]

My ex wife use to talk my ears off as well. When I would leave work I would call and ask is there anything you would like me to pickup on the way home. Well she would not let me off the phone and keep talking through out my drive home (45 minute drive). And when I get home, she repeats everything she has already told me. And heaven forbid I ever tell her, honey you already told me that.That just forced me to not listen to a word she says. very frustrating.

[aBone2pick Senior Member Member of the Month July 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close aBone2pick]

Honestly the best way to make your wife want more frequent sex is to spend lots of time with her. Because an emotional connection is higher on her priority list, she will have to have that before she can be in a sexy mood.

To try and compare it to us men, think of it this way. You have no food in your refrigerator on this particular night, and if you have sex immediately all the fast food joints and groceries will be closed when you are done doing the deed. You want to have sex of course, but you have to take care of your need of dealing with hunger before you can truly enjoy sex.

Any girl who's been married for a week knows that after she satisfies her man sexually he's not gonna be much good for talking (I pass out within 3-5 minutes if it's after 10 o'clock). We are the closing McDonalds. The last source of emotional sustenance that they can get before they have to risk going to bed emotionally hungry.

You can avoid her being like that by giving her talking snacks throughout the day. When I started doing this with my wife everything changed. She went from being kind of moody to being the happiest girl I know. I went from getting action 2-3 times a week to like 8+ times a week.

An example of something I did to improve our free talking time, is this: I set a couple bucks aside now and then for a special date, when I figured I had enough money (in this case about $230 bucks 170Euro 250,000 Korean won... you get the gist) I went out with her and took her to a sporting store to buy Rollerblades for both of us. I had picked out a day in advance that I knew we would both have the time. A nice Saturday afternoon, good weather etc... As a final note, we are not one of those super physically active couples and she's certainly not a cardio-bunny, but we had a great time. We talked all throughout our Rollerblading, we got some great exercise (gets that blood flowing, eh?) and we just bonded really well.

Ever since seeing how happy that one spontaneous thing made her, I've kept it up, and our relationship changed in the best way possible (we were doing quite well beforehand anyways, but there are levels above that I didn't even know existed).

Sorry for a wall of text. Best of luck to you.

[kal foo Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kal foo]

Great advice aBone

[Jm123 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jm123]

This is slightly amusing. You are upset that your wife wants to talk and offers sex as an incentive. Yet for some reason it would appear that you have not talked to her about how this is frustrating you. Overall, no this is not something you should ignore. This will build up inside of you and after years my cause serious issues in the relationship. However, honestly this is a very common issue in relationships.

My suggestion would be to talk to her about how frustrating this is to you. Let her know that you are there for her and setup some time everyday or couple of days where she can get her talking time in. Just make sure you spend some time talking about sex, and how often you would like it and how often she wants it. Let her know that sex to men is similar to talking to women, and that without it, you have feelings of distancing from her.

[billywilliams Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close billywilliams]

well if she is talking about nonsense , tell her you want to sleep with someone else. They she will have something to talk about.