Never been in love

[Thenewguy2 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thenewguy2]

As the title says I have never been in love, I'm 18 years old, virgin, socially awkward which may be the reasons as I have never held a girls hand before except from some danching thingy we had at school some years back. Never really had a girl as a friend and hardly had friends at all. At the moment I got 0 friends. Was wondering a bit about the love thingy if you see a couple can you guarantee that they're both in love with eachother or are this love feeling kinda rare? Also how is this going the later or the longer you have been together as I heard some people asked a couple if they are as much in love right now as they were the first months they were together (I don't remember the answer) and they had been together for 3-4 years. If you have a gf or bf right now are you completely in love with him if no then why are you still with him / her? Can a couple work without being in love, I mean for me it's only about those hot girls I see in porn if you know what I mean.. some kinda "love feeling if you know what I mean, that I want them I don't know if that counts, haven't been in love with a real person yet.

EXTRA QUESTION: Also wondering about what a girl sees for in a guy. I am of the opinion that high school girls only go after looks and I am a bit sad over that cuz I am not really good looking, I'd give myself a 3/10 or something like that I have a small head (Gandhi size, just search google images) but I am more muscular of course which makes it look even more weird. The reason I say that about high school girls is by the fact that I got this guy in my class.. (best looking guy in my class) and he get all the women, yes he's confident but he doesn't behave and threat women well. So what do girls look for later in life talking college -40, I know they like confidence which will be a problem for me cuz of my poor social skills, but do they like money? muscles? etc., I am doing pretty good in school atm, so I hope that they like money (This just came as a extra question as I ddin't want to make 2 posts and I wouldn't know where to post it anyways. Not even sure if I posted "part 1" of this post in the correct section.)

Appreciate answers! Any answer may help.

-Thenewguy2

[frisson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close frisson]

It's difficult, I know, but stop with the porn. Stopping now will work wonders for you.

Also, never compare real life to porn. Never.

High school relationships and attractions are shallow and not worth analyzing. Instead, focus on your academics.

Resorting to money as a pull for women will never enable you to have a truly loving relationship.

Don't waste your time in a relationship unless you're in love with the person. My two cents, though. Others are different.

Love is not rare. We're genetically wired to fall in love with each other. You can bet your bottom dollar that those in relationships you come across in high school believe themselves to be in love, but they are not. High school relationships revolve around "puppy" attraction and heavy petting. You won't know what love truly is for decades.

To alleviate your social awkwardness, stop asking these questions on an online forum and ask someone in person instead. You're 18, get a job in customer service. Your life and your personality will both improve severalfold.

[Thenewguy2 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thenewguy2]

I don't got a job, it's very hard to get one as well. It's vaction from school so I'm sitting in front of a computer all day long

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

Quit sitting in front of the computer. Get out there and find some way to make some money.
Mow lawns, do yard-work and shrub trimming. Wash cars, do somethings.

Before I was 16, I had a paper route. At 16 I was working part time in a grocery store. While I was doing my ASEE, I worked as a janitor, sweeping floors, emptying trash cans, scrubbing urinals and toilets.
My first 5 years in GE, I worked 80.5 hrs a week, 7 days a week in remote assignments.
I was motivated to make myself retire early. I did too, at ~50.
My point.
Become a person who is out to make their way in the world, no matter what. Some day soon, you'll leave the luxury of your current living conditions. You are going to have to support yourself. It is a choice.
Good luck, go get 'em.

[Avenger Member Find all posts View Profile Close Avenger]

seems to me that a lot of younger girls are, as you pointed out, inexplicably attracted to men who treat them like shit. Then sometime around 25-30 they start thinking family, grow tired of being crapped on, and go for guys who've got it together. See above posts for how to get there.

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

Many people go throughout their lives without true love or true friends.Truly being in love is a suffering partly.Remember that.Your heart will ache to see her and the slightest harm or insult to her will have you ready to start a war.You will do stupid things and waste time and effort on the relationship.If you get dumped, you will need years to recover.
Th
The more you get to know someone, the more ordinary they get.( unless you really love them, then no rules or logic apply ) That's why people grow distant after the initial thrill has faded.

People can be married as a matter of convenience or business.It will work as long as they do their jobs and don't quarrel.

All that matters for girls is personality.How you make them feel.Can you make them laugh? Do they feel safe with you and share their inner self with you?

Women need time to figure out what they want and respect themselves ( some, not all ) and until that time tolerate jerks.You will hear them in their 30s go " I can't believe i put up with that!!".

Don't worry about money.Look, are you paying us for advice? Then how is it we take the time to give it? There is some sort of affection for people we don't know.We aid them without charge simply because there is a sense of brotherhood.One man's victory causes cheer across the board.One man's problems cause concern.I'm betting you could pay for advice and it won't be as good as that of people who actually want to help you out.Does that answer your money question?

[Robberman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Robberman]

As long as you see yourself as "socially awkward" you're going to continue being it. I used to think I was, and sometimes still do. If something goes wrong you can apologise and then move on.

[Thenewguy2 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thenewguy2]

Yes but I hardly talk that's the thing, and if someone asks me something I kinda feel like after I answer they think I don't want to talk with them anymore.. that's what I mean about being "awkward". So people quit asking me stuff, so I hardly open my mouth once a week at school.

Thanks for awesome advice and responses by the way! (thank you all).

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

You just need to talk about things that interest you, I think if you open up you may find there are people who are into the same things as you are. Believe it or not there are girls that will find guys like you who don't talk much interesting. Be yourself and sooner or later you will meet the one for you, she will be there when you least expect it.

[Bnip Retired Moderator Member of the Month July 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Bnip]

I read somewhere that you like gaming. Use gaming as a way to start talking to people. I game and often come across people online and chat with them. Who cares if you say something stupid or awkward. It's a chance to practice conversation

Then go to gaming conventions and learn how the industry works. Talk to people there and learn. Then get a degree that compliments the gaming industry. This will get you a good job and you are doing what you love. Others will have your same interest. The money will be good and women will be happy you have a good job doing what you love.

Then after all the work in here your penis will be better. You will have confidence with yourself and the rest is history. It's scary out there but at sometime you have to man up and take on the world. Good luck!

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

If you don't want to get ahead, you won't.

[kidajske Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kidajske]

Yes but I hardly talk that's the thing, and if someone asks me something I kinda feel like after I answer they think I don't want to talk with them anymore.. that's what I mean about being "awkward". So people quit asking me stuff, so I hardly open my mouth once a week at school.

Thanks for awesome advice and responses by the way! (thank you all).

This reminds me of myself a lot. When I started high school, I barely spoke to anyone. Just answered their questions, probably in a manner in which made me seem uninterested. This lasted for about a month till I got comfortable in my friends company. After that, I've become very close to a lot of people from my class, and a lot of us don't even have the same interests. My advice would be: if you like someone as a person even a bit, put yourself in a position where you can talk to him/her. If you share topics of interests the conversation will flow. If you don't, it will be a bit awkward but you'll get over it eventually.

[ElbowGrease Member Find all posts View Profile Close ElbowGrease]

In my opinion, true love is very rarely found. You will feel that you have fallen for someone shortly after meeting them and this will no doubt happen a number of times with different people but when you meet that one special person, you will know, the feelings you have/ had for others will fade in comparison. Read camaro's post #6 above carefully, it may be difficult for you to understand today but may become clear to you one day.

It is nothing for you to worry about right now, someone special will magically appear in your life in the next few years and all you'll need to do is be yourself. Your confidence will grow as you realise you are liked back and then you will notice how much extra attention you are getting from others as well.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

I'm 30, and I've never been truly in love. I've had cases where I assumed it was love, but it was just lust, and although lust is needed with true love, well whatever, we get the point



Some day though! Hopefully soon.

[Jon Mandingo Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jon Mandingo]

Never been in love either, but I'm not socially awkward.