problem with relationship!

[PEer Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PEer]

Hello everyone! I recently started going out with a girl and we got to know each other pretty well. Right now my problem is that whenever we meet, I couldn't think of anything to talk about. This is my girl so I'm pretty inexperienced I should say. So any help people? I just don't want to make her bored all the time. I just can't understand what people would tall about all the time. Could someone enlighten me? Thanks

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

WOW there are a lot of lucky people on the boards this month with new relationships! How exciting!

By now you probably know some of the things she likes to do or did in the past that would be part of her conversations. Look them up and learn about them. This will help you have questions to ask to keep conversations going.

Best thing is to talk about what you know and what you do or have done. Try to keep it on the happy side as much as possible. Sure if the story happens to include someone that passed away or injured (sometimes we have a great vacation but at the end there was something sad that happened but the experience is still part of our conversation)

If you want specific help PEer then add more info about your ages, what zone of the country you live in, what industry you are in for work etc... and maybe some of us can throw out some topics for you.

Good luck!

[Mrs. workin_4_it Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mrs. workin_4_it]

Congrats on your new relationship!
Try asking her off the wall questions.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
What was your favorite cartoon as a child?
Pool or hot tub?
Favorite movie quote?
Worst movie she has ever seen?
What's the best color for a car?
What was the last meal you ate?
What's your favorite drink?
Tattoos or piercings?
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
What super powers would you like to have?
What kind of people do you dislike?
What is the worst job you have ever had?
Most annoying songs that you can't get out of your head?
Are you a cat or dog person?


It's easy to ask the normal questions (like how many siblings do you have? And what's your favorite color?) They are quick answers and can be boring.

I wish you all of the best. =)

[Thenewguy2 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thenewguy2]

Seems like you need to learn to listen to the conversation. Not many men know how to do this, I'll give you some examples:

You: You come here often?
Girl: Actually this is my first time here. I just moved here from Florida
You: Oh, I come here every week. I love this band. I'ts pretty crowded tonight.

You are clueless. The girl gives you plenty of information to follow it up on. So you may ask, what would be the "right" thing to say? Well... she mentioned that this is her first time in the club and she just moved from Florida. You could've asked: a) How does she like the club, band, etc? b) What brought her here from Florida? c) How long has she been in the area? d) Where in Florida is she from? e) How long was she there? f) What is it like there?

As you see, there are tons of questions and topics you can talk about from the 2 lines of information she gave you. And these are topics she will be interested in talking about. The key is in listening to what she is saying. If the women / girl actually likes you, she will give you information to follow up the questions on. She won't do that if she is a: anti social or b: not interested.

Example from a question Mrs. Working_for_it gave:
You: If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Girl: Spain

This is an example of anti social behaviors, or that she's not interested. If this happens you will have to walk away and admit defeat (Obviously she is interested in you you since you are a couple.)

Another thing you should keep in mind is that you should keep a proper listen / talk ratio. A good ratio would be 40-60 if you are a couple, and maybe 30-70 if you are early in the dating progress.

A good thing to do when you tell her about yourself (if you are early in the dating stages) is to show her that you two are very much alike by making "me-too" statements. It is desirable to bring yourself into the conversation when you can relate yourself to something she's talking about or make yourself seem similar to her. Example:

Girl: I really miss Miami
You: I can imagine. I spent two weeks in Miami last summer. I loved it. I even thought about moving there myself.

This allows you to tell the girl about yourself, without telling too much

Now imagine that you went on a date with this girl and you spent most of the time talking and telling her how wonderful you are, while talking out your ass, saying a lot of crap that she wouldn't find interesting. She would a: Get bored, and hope for the date to end as quickly as possible. (she may seem interested, but it doesn't mean she is) b: She will go home and think about the date, she will know everything about you and she will decide that you weren't the man for her, and you will never see her again. She will also think that you are not a very good conversationalist, you are boring and a lot of other stuff (basically if you do this, you can't really expect a second date, I hope you can understand this).

Now, if you spent 60-70% of the time listening to her, and 30-40% of the time telling her about yourself. Specifically, telling her about yourself that makes the two of you seem very similar. She goes home and thinks about the date. This time she will have something substantial to think about. She is going to think what a wonderful conversationalist you are. You didn't monopolize the conversation. You didn't bore her with details of your job, your childhood, or the health of your colon. She is going to think that you are very special because you spent a lot of the time telling her that you two are very alike.

People always like people who are similar to themselves.

Don't worry if you feel cheated because you don't get to talk about the things you want to talk about. If you play your cards right, there will be plenty of time later on to bore her with all your "interesting" stories.

Since you claimed that you recently started to go out with a girl, I would assume the "me-too" statemenets would still be available and that you could easily impress her, and make her even more interested. It's very hard for us to tell you what topics and what you can talk about since we aren't you, we don't know what kind of things you have asked in the past and previous dates. I think this is what islander was trying to say. That you should "look up" your previous conversations, and maybe you will find some golden topics to talk about.

When it comes to the questions Mrs. Working_for_it listed, I don't really like many of them, some of them are good though. But a lot of them would be pointless especially if she isn't that social. I mean like "pool or hotub?" what can you make out of such a question? You would just be asking tens of questions that weren't related to each other. You need to get her to talk. A good question she listed that I liked was "If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?" This one should work pretty easily unless she's anti social.

Not many men know this... And they bore women to death with boring conversation. It's not by nature, it's something that you will have to learn. And it takes a lot of practice to learn, even I run out of things to say.

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

Hello everyone! I recently started going out with a girl and we got to know each other pretty well. Right now my problem is that whenever we meet, I couldn't think of anything to talk about. This is my girl so I'm pretty inexperienced I should say. So any help people? I just don't want to make her bored all the time. I just can't understand what people would tall about all the time. Could someone enlighten me? Thanks

Ya that's normal. Guys have great "visual" brains whereas women tend to have more "articulate" brains. My friend once told me to just be natural and say what ever comes to mind. So I did. When I was with her and the awkward silent moment came, I told her "I want to see your boobies". I never saw her again.

Seriously, just do shit together. As you accumulate things you have in common and experiences the "talking" issue will simply go away.

Personally, I know the women on this forum have phenomenal advice. They have been there and done that. Listen to the wisdom of the women.

[calgarycman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close calgarycman]

Find out something she is passionate about, and make it an active conversations. Ask her in depth questions about her passion, and then try and relate her passion with yours. That works for me. You can extend a conversation to about 3 to 4 hrs, if you actually let her do most of the talking you will perhaps end up talking about a total of 20 minutes while she will take up the other 2 hrs and 40 minutes. Also, ensure you don't interrupt let her speak her mind and when given the chance try and relate to her in some way. Then share what your passionate about and let her relate to you. Don't be afraid of silence, enjoy the moment, perhaps look into her eyes when there is silence that way she feels you are trying to connect to her on a deeper level this usually works really well for me. If she ask you why you aren't saying anything say something funny or witty, your beauty or eye color is taking my words and breath away. Don't pretend to be something you are not as well, when in trouble generally try and speak from the heart. This strategy will work, it has for me. The issue for me is to try and make every conversation as in depth as the first one. My current friend wants every conversation to be meaningful and as connecting as the last one.

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

WOW, TNG2, aren't you the ladies man!

[Thenewguy2 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thenewguy2]

WOW, TNG2, aren't you the ladies man!

.... I've done some research

[samsi4life Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close samsi4life]

Confidence in your self and just act like yourself.. if your always putting on a fake the girl will eventually sense it and may get weirded out.
Just be yourself you will do fine stop worrying you already have her dont you?

[akaTrex Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close akaTrex]

WOW, TNG2, aren't you the ladies man!

Made me think of........................

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNpQTpv-aQE

I just peed my pants!

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Hello everyone! I recently started going out with a girl and we got to know each other pretty well. Right now my problem is that whenever we meet, I couldn't think of anything to talk about. This is my girl so I'm pretty inexperienced I should say. So any help people? I just don't want to make her bored all the time. I just can't understand what people would tall about all the time. Could someone enlighten me? Thanks

Pick topics of mutual interest to the both of you........talk about movies, tv shows, books...........talk about each of your individual interests....there's a TON to talk about....

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

Go do things together and the talking will come natural. If you cant find things you like to do together move on to the next girl.

[PEer Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PEer]

Hello everyone! Sorry for the late reply and thanks for your advice. So far we've been getting along well and we got to know each other pretty well. I've tried asking questions to keep the conversation going but she's like its like an interview rather than a convo. I'm clueless now. She says she wants me to actually have a conversation but not keep on asking questions. I've no idea how that could be possible and she wouldn't tell me either. Help anyone?