Thread made upon request by my new woman: Penis Size Does Not Matter!

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

No flames but a plus 1. Generalizations suck. A good lover may have a huge penis, and a poor lover may have a tiny penis. Vice versa also. Some really good lovers don't even have a penis...

[Sequoia Tree Senior Member Member of the Month July 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Sequoia Tree]

Exactly, Wishful. Being a considerate lover is a choice(that every man should choose), and is not dictated by the size of a man's penis.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

In fact my tongue is a way better lover than my penis. Jelqng my tongue sucmed so I quit that right away. Still better than my penis.

[ScarletSkull Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ScarletSkull]

Park Lib - Peers, society, and yes - you mentioned porn, expectations, etc - those can all shape her views.

I would agree that perhaps the younger college age girls would be more likely to fall for the "big dick hype" in a similar way that the younger college age guys would be more likely to fall for the "hot skinny girl" hype, does that make sense? Especially if she's more into hookup or FWB sex vs. a longterm relationship.

In the long run, big dicks and slender bodies are not what will make a relationship or sex life great, but I think sometimes it takes time and experience to realize that. Other things become more important. Kinda like the young teenage guy who thinks that only slender, big breasted girls are beautiful, but as he gets older he realizes that it isn't necessarily the case, but he just believed it when he was young because that's what he was "told" by society.

I'm 35, and if I ever get to a point to be able to trust a man again and put myself out there, you can bet I won't give a rat's ass about his dick size. However, I won't stay with someone again who is not a generous and creative lover. it affected me much more than I ever realized and in turn, made me not want sex at all (which then in turn made him feel undesirable).

Or really, what it comes down to, is that being her biggest lover does not equal being her best lover. And yes - porn has a TON to do with this. As much as it gives a false view of how women are and should behave, it does the same for men and as much as people watch it knowing it's false, it is very insidious and those thoughts creep in whether you like it or not.

[ScarletSkull Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ScarletSkull]

Seanyboy - no flames from me, but I disagree with you for sure. Granted, I am speaking from my personal experience, which is really just anecdotal evidence, but I have talked to enough women and read enough to see that this is more common than you'd think. Just like the aforementioned example of the hot girl who thinks her job is done because she's super hot and does the "starfish" thing once in bed.

Having said that, I think it isn't a conscious thing, when it does happen. Being a considerate lover is a choice both every man and every woman SHOULD choose, like Sequoia said, but unfortunately doesn't happen that way. I know my ex thought when we had sex it was awesome. I don't think it ever even occurred to him that there should be more to it than "insert, jackhammer, move around, switch positions, repeat." or that he should pay attention to my needs. I think he genuinely thought that anything he enjoyed, I automatically would too.

I'd throw it out there that perhaps the smaller dicked guys are naturally more likely to pursue being a better lover, perhaps even due to the insecurity that they have due to a smaller penis size. Does that even make sense? That's completely theory on my end though.

[seanyboy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close seanyboy]

Seanyboy - no flames from me, but I disagree with you for sure. Granted, I am speaking from my personal experience, which is really just anecdotal evidence, but I have talked to enough women and read enough to see that this is more common than you'd think. Just like the aforementioned example of the hot girl who thinks her job is done because she's super hot and does the "starfish" thing once in bed.

Having said that, I think it isn't a conscious thing, when it does happen. Being a considerate lover is a choice both every man and every woman SHOULD choose, like Sequoia said, but unfortunately doesn't happen that way. I know my ex thought when we had sex it was awesome. I don't think it ever even occurred to him that there should be more to it than "insert, jackhammer, move around, switch positions, repeat." or that he should pay attention to my needs. I think he genuinely thought that anything he enjoyed, I automatically would too.

I'd throw it out there that perhaps the smaller dicked guys are naturally more likely to pursue being a better lover, perhaps even due to the insecurity that they have due to a smaller penis size. Does that even make sense? That's completely theory on my end though.

The thing is, why would the little dick guy look for ways to please a woman and not the average or above average guy who's probably just as insecure? I still chalk it up mostly to inexperience. The guy watches porn and thinks that's how you please a woman, and his insecurity about not being as big as the pornstar dude makes him think he has to be twice as aggressive as that dude in the porno to compensate. And since the women he's with never communicate how wrong this is, he thinks this is the best way to fuck. That makes more sense to me. But, again, I could be wrong, so we'll just have to agree to disagree.

[seanyboy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close seanyboy]

Just to add a little support to what I said, according this study, only 22% of men polled thought their penis was big, while the rest thought their penis was average or small. So a guy that thinks his dick is big is pretty rare, but a guy that would also take his big dick for granted I would think is even rarer.

[ScarletSkull Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ScarletSkull]

The thing is, why would the little dick guy look for ways to please a woman and not the average or above average guy who's probably just as insecure? I still chalk it up mostly to inexperience. The guy watches porn and thinks that's how you please a woman, and his insecurity about not being as big as the pornstar dude makes him think he has to be twice as aggressive as that dude in the porno to compensate. And since the women he's with never communicate how wrong this is, he thinks this is the best way to fuck. That makes more sense to me. But, again, I could be wrong, so we'll just have to agree to disagree.

I don't know, I don't really disagree with what you're saying and truth be told, I don't really know if the insecurity is the same for a smaller guy vs. average or above average... that's something I wouldn't really know I just know that it's been my experience and the others I've mentioned this to, the past lovers I've had that were smaller/average were more into making sure I was having a good time or perhaps more open to suggestions? Can't really say. I wonder if there are any official studies on this?

And I will fully admit that my former marriage has me a bit jaded on the subject, so take that as you will. Psychology is an odd thing sometimes especially where sex is concerned. I would hazard a guess that the small/average/slightly above average guys are in a similar camp, like you said, but where the naturally large guys (those who never had to work for it) might be a bit different?

Kinda like... if you give a teenager a hot car, they won't generally value it as much as those kids who had to work hard to earn theirs? Does that make sense?

[ScarletSkull Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ScarletSkull]

Just to add a little support to what I said, according this study, only 22% of men polled thought their penis was big, while the rest thought their penis was average or small. So a guy that thinks his dick is big is pretty rare, but a guy that would also take his big dick for granted I would think is even rarer.

That makes sense. I'm pretty sure my ex never felt insecure about his size, so maybe I just spent too much of my life with someone who was in that small percentile of those who weren't insecure about size and took for granted that the size itself automatically guaranteed him being a good lover?

I guess what it comes back to, though, is that I myself and I'm pretty sure most women look more at the whole of the sexual experience, and not so much the size of the dick itself. Going back to the whole "motion in the ocean" thing.

[Destined48X6 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Destined48X6]

I've had some experiences with a few women(plural) that weren't pleased with my size. The fact that it happened to me at such an early age has left a long lasting psychological impression on my self-image. I'm just now recovering, at 29 from it. I know perceiving myself as inadequate created an obsession for me to master oral sex. I actually enjoy it. One time I compensated for my "inadequacy" by licking for 2hrs. My one nighter seemed to enjoy it (hopefully she wasn't faking; her screams were exceptionally loud lol). I'm all about the giving more than receiving. Its a sense of accomplishment for a man IMO, along with being a provider and a protector.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

My one nighter seemed to enjoy it (hopefully she wasn't faking; her screams were exceptionally loud lol).

I've found that they generally stop you if they're not enjoying it. Personally, I bloody love it, it's far from a chore.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

I'm not lazy in bed because I have a dig bick.. I'm lazy in bed because I want her to use me and make herself cum, with use of my dig bick.

Because that's HAWT.

[DickerSchwanz Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close DickerSchwanz]

I hear that often from woman that guys cant fuck in the sense of just smashing and woman beeing lucky if they hit the right spot.

That gets worse if the woman isnt very demanding and active to get the right position and even worse if the guy is above average and has no clue how to navigate his tool through his braind and hips.

Insert me

In the end its down to communication and learning. Took me some stupid fucking to come to the point where I started to get the steps of arousal and the ways of how to use my body to elicit them in a woman.

But it takes two and many woman need to get more demanding to get their guys to be on top of their game. It too often ends in just blaming and talking to the net or their friends.

[dodgy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dodgy]

Just to add a little support to what I said, according this study, only 22% of men polled thought their penis was big, while the rest thought their penis was average or small. So a guy that thinks his dick is big is pretty rare, but a guy that would also take his big dick for granted I would think is even rarer.

That seems to disprove your point about insecurities, obviously most men have an average sized dick, that's why it's called "average", a small percentage have either a small or big dick, certainly not 22% to each camp, which suggests their are more average size guys who think they are big than their are actual bug dicked guys, so no dick insecurities in them

[dodgy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dodgy]

Bug dicked lol, cant edit on my phone, should be big dicked of course.