Is she being too polite or feeling sore?

[Reversusque Member Find all posts View Profile Close Reversusque]

I've got a few question over my gf's behavior during sex as I want to understand how she's genuinely feeling/thinking at the time. I thought the ladies might offer some good insight.

It's around when we're having sex and I'm inside her vagina. At times I'll be trying to find her extremely elusive G-spot. To do so I have to pull a lot of myself out and aim upwards but often (almost always) after trying for a while she'll tell me to stop and rather go back deep in her and to finish in her.

We are a very tight fit and very often need to use lube to have sex. I'm just wondering if she's simply being overly considerate for me as I do struggle myself to hold back my orgasm or if she is genuinely feeling a bit sore? I do stretch her quite a bit.

I just don't like the fact that my giving her a vaginal orgasm is a rare event and the vast majority of orgasms is clitoral for her, especially given how many guys brag about making their women cum vaginally several times during sex. I also wonder if she's being overly considerate because she knows I'm also struggling to hold myself back (due to us being a really tight fit)?

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

You could take this in two ways...

Being that none of the women here know her, or how you feel to her, it's impossible to give 100% accurate insight onto this phenomenon.

however, from my own experience, it depends on how hard you are when you're trying to aim for certain places. if she is really turned on and you take it out a decent bit and try to aim up, you may be hitting her G-spot in a way that's not comfortable to her. In other words, she may not be comfortable with the feeling of having to pee while you're inside her. Some women have to get used to the feeling.

As far as vaginal orgasms, I would argue that it's not that you need to hit the G-spot to get her to have an orgasm, she can have orgasms from you being really deep inside of her when she wants you down there. The key to everything is paying attention to her.

Guys "bragging" about making women have vaginal orgasms are probably the guys who also take a whole lot of time making sure her body and mind are ready for the experience. Some women take longer than others. have you tried to give her a G-spot orgasm with your fingers? If you've got really good EQ and an upward angle, you may be "doin too much" as they say by trying to aim it even further up, too much pressure is a bad thing.

OR

You could take it as her actually trying to orgasm with what feels good to her, and not really thinking about sparing your feelings.

I'm gonna end my post here because there's just not enough information to really get a grasp of what's going on. You penis angle and hardness makes more of a difference than "tight fit" I've been in some really tight fitting spaces and one of my partners did quip "normally i'd have room to like maneuver, but you fill me completely up" but it was mostly because I, while a considerable size at that time, have extremely good EQ. So a hard dally makes all the difference.

[lilbigman Senior Member Member of the Month June 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close lilbigman]

Some women just simply don't orgasm from vaginal penetration. Or if they do it is far and few in between. Don't take it personally, even if they don't orgasm, it still feels amazing to them. Some women do not or very rarely orgasm at all. Some women orgasm within a few strokes and have them over and over again very easily. It all depends on the woman. I had an ex that would orgasm 3-5 times before I would. The one I'm with now I can't get to orgasm to save my life!! Ive tried everything but the kitchen sink and nope, nada. Yet she always want's it and is always horny. Talking to her about it she said that she has always been this way. It has always been difficult for her to orgasm, even when doing herself with a toy, or rubbing one out with her fingers, she can rarely orgasm. However she says it still feels amazing even though she doesn't quite get there. She also claims that I am the best she has ever had. She tells me this unsolicited almost everytime we have sex. She is bi, and has been with women before, and has told me that I lick pussy better than any women she has had,(I think that's quite the compliment) yet its a no-go getting her to orgasm. Don't get me wrong, its not like its impossible, but very rare for her. It just is who she is. So all those guys that claim to get their woman off vaginally are doing it more so because of the woman rather than because of their dick or technique. Just have fun, stop worrying about it, and be open and honest with her and you will figure it out.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Hello Reversusque,

In addition to the great information and advice already provided, I just wanted to add that the G-spot is temperamental in that it responds better when pressure is applied rather than simply rubbing. This is one of the reasons the missionary or man-on-top sex position is the least effective way to trigger one. Also, you have to remember that there are other erogenous zones or "hot spots" located within her vagina that she may find more pleasurable when stimulated which may be the reason she is asking you to alter your thrusting and depth of penetration. You can learn more about those additional vaginal "hot spots" from my blog:

14 Magical Female Orgasms

Now whether or not she achieves orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, it does not mean that she does not find the experience incredibly pleasurable and satisfying. And while an orgasm is wonderful, there is also a great deal of enjoyment to be along the journey so don't let her orgasm be the only barometer of sexual satisfaction and success.

The Perils of Goal- Oriented Sex

Debunking A Popular Myth about the Female Orgasm

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Way too early for this. I'll come back after lunch.

[Reversusque Member Find all posts View Profile Close Reversusque]

Thanks for the pointers all. It looks like on one hand I could do with adjusting my technique as I do fall into the trap of thinking I'm not stimulating her enough and then apply too much direct pressure to G-spot area while also infatuating too much on that area. I'm then guilty of overlooking the other spots that she might also be subtly trying to say she wants me to reach.

I have also offered many times and sometimes tried without warning to reach her G-spot with my fingers but she seems to not want fingers in her vagina, including her own. I suspect it might be due to some event in her life where she suffered an infection of some sort.

With respect to my EQ it is on average an 8. I've occasionally had what are like vein bursting EQ to ones where work-life pressures make it a 7. I also mentioned the tightness more to try paint a picture as to whether I need to be more considerate of aspects I'm missing that are related to it.

Believe me too, there has to be plenty of foreplay and stimulus for me to enter her. She's complimented me many a time for my patience as some of her previous partners used to 'just ram her', causing her pain and even resulting in her going to a sexologist because she thought it was herself that was messed up. (The sexologist thankfully said the problem was her past partners, not her).

She even surprised me by telling me about a past partner who might have been even less than 4'' who would carelessly hurt her because he would just plough into her with no consideration for letting her get into the mood, even when she'd urge him to wait.

But her above history is also perhap something I should have mentioned and how it feeds into my worry I'm unwittingly hurting her too but she just won't say it. That and we've been together for more than three years and I love watching her experience joy and pleasure.

Thanks also on the pointers on and personal stories how some women can struggle to achieve a vaginal orgasm. It helps to know that it's not just down to something we're doing wrong even though I see room for improvement in myself - thanks for the article link too. I learnt some stuff and feel foolish for not having taken the time to read it before.

[Reversusque Member Find all posts View Profile Close Reversusque]

Just wanted to really say thanks for the links and tips! Putting some of the knowledge into practice already helped me make her, shall we say, happier.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

You are so very welcome Reversusque. Delighted to hear the good news!