shit heap

[closed224]

I am starting a blog so I can vent about things. This way I hope to avoid out bursts similar to my recent posts in my Borderline Personality thread. I feel like a failure in my life. I made it a point in life never to get a divorce. Now I can't find one reason to continue with that goal. I married a woman who has a personality disorder. I have tryed to accept that her behaviors are related to that disorder, but it still means that her behaviors are unacceptable. I have lost a great deal of perspective because I allow myself to expect my needs to be important to her, and they are not. When we rationally discus them she says they are important to her, but when she lives her life...

[BigO]

Accurately identifying your own self worth and value is important. But not based on others perceptions. That just leaves all the weight of self esteem in someone else's hands, who understand and know far less than yourself. You know your intentions, every action, every thought, and purpose. If others don't fully understand or know this, then their judgment of you is based on partial perception and observation at best. Even the most intuitive, knowledgeable, perceptive person only knows what they see and hear, and filters it through their own experiences. That's basing your own self, on others limited information. To adjust or revalue yourself because of others opinion, will surely leave you disappointed and always less than.

Take it for what it is. Input. Absorb the empowering good. Listen to the bad, but hesitantly. Maybe there's something there, some truth, that your own eyes missed. Outside perspective to help identify the things you want to improve. But always do it for you, because relying on others for your worth is dangerous to yourself. Know, value, respect, love, and praise yourself. Even if others don't.

This world is made of all kinds. All wonderfully unique, traveling our own paths, learning what we need to learn. That doctor was the right doctor. He continued the chain of events that will bring several people the absolute joy that is life. Every sunrise and sunset, every laugh, every heart swelling moment of love like weddings, births, and hearing daddy for the first time.

It's balance Wish. How would we know that the sunny moments are so good, without a little rain to remind us. But even the rain make the flowers bloom and the grass grow. Rain is necessary. Not always fun, but needed for that balance. Without it, sunny days would be taken for granted, and less appreciated.

Give that doctor from 1965 a medal. He's a hero. Look what he made today, with that one effort.

[closed224]

Thanks W4I.

[Closed044]

Value of an individual? When a person perceives his/her value it should be accurate. It should be something that can be validated through others reactions to and with that person. If others actions and reactions to a person do not line up with the persons perceived value does one have a responsibility to revalue oneself? Or does a persons self worth always carry the day? If there is a choice between two people and the person who is not chosen remains unchosen enough times, does that unchosen person need to revalue his/her self worth? Does the outside world have any responsibility to reflect back a persons self worth. Does a person have any responsibility to value oneself according to how others treat the person? Would a person be happier if valued in oneself similarly to how the world responds to the person?

I would like to address each one of these in the order asked. 1. Immense and one-of-a-kind. 2. Never revalue, always reEVALUATE. Not even self-worth, but self in general. 3. It should. 4. Nope. See answer 2 (both parties). 5. Nope. Unfortunately, the outside world owes us nothing, even if it really ought to. Nature's a real bitch sometimes. 6. Nope. But one is responsible for one's reactions to treatments of others. And they are responsible for theirs. 7. I doubt it.

And in response to your other post, I for one am incredibly thankful that you had a swift and competent doctor in 1965. Everyone would've been spared incredible pain, but guess what? That statement dates back to the beginning of humanity. To live is to hurt, but to hurt is to learn. Scar tissue makes you less malleable, but more intelligent and strong. You can't make the world happy all at once and you certainly can't ruin it either. I'm terribly glad you exist and that we all exist together. Scar tissue and all. It's worth it.