Dick went soft when having intercourse

[Drax Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drax]

were you using a harder grip in masturbation?
what is your masturbating habit, lube or dry, slow strokes or fast, tight grip or loose grip?

If I masturbate it's usually without lube. Sometimes soft, otherwise hard grip.

[Drax Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drax]

Just to give you guys an update, so I haven't masturbated in almost 4 days. Haven't watched any porn in a week.

I've even been doing kegel exercises for the past 3 days.

So fast forward to last night. With my girl, I gave her some oral sex. During oral, my dick went hard and also kinda went soft. Weird. Hot and cold.

When it's my turn, my dick is slightly soft. She's giving me oral, my dick is getting harder, up to maybe 70%, then it kinda goes soft quickly without stimulation.

So we just lay there in bed. I told her that I think I have a problem, psychologically. That the issue isn't physical (and I am aware of). I comforted her and told her that she definitely isn't the problem. I'm in a good shape, I don't have a large amount of body fat, and I eat healthy food.

I asked my doctor if I should take a blood test just to be sure, and he said it would be a waste of time.

So I'm going to take Cialis. For confidence. I ordered 20 pills online. This is a really shit feeling though. The first time this happened I thought "well, maybe it's just one of those days", but when it happens a second time then you know there is a problem.

My doctor said there is nothing wrong with me and that I might want to see a psychologist to talk about this stuff that might be all in my head. I haven't done that yet.

What do I do now? Just see a psychologist? Is that going to "cure me"? What are your experiences? I have a feeling I have retrain my brain. I really like this girl a lot and I don't want to ruin this relationship because of this. She is understanding, but girls are only understanding to a point.

I keep thinking - maybe laying off porn for a week isn't enough. Maybe I have to give it a few months. Or maybe not masturbating for 1 month will sort me out. Or maybe doing kegels for more than a few days will sort me out.

Any pointers? Advise? Similar experiences, and how did you go about it?

[Drax Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drax]

Just something else before I forget. I took a Cialis pill, after eating food. It didn't work even 2 hours after taking it.

I noticed late at night, like 2pm that my dick would get super hard and would remain hard. Just looking at my girl's naked body and all was good.

Shitty timing. I take a 10mg dose. Is that normal? Do I need to ingest this before or after a meal? Sorry, I know this isn't a solution to my problems, but in the interim, I just need some pointers.

[LateBloom Member Find all posts View Profile Close LateBloom]

They're meant to be taken on an empty stomach. From everything I've read and been told (from doctors...not members on this site) Viagra/Cialis/Etc are not addictive nor does the body "adapt".

That being said....those who essentially say that at your age taking these is more of a bandaid than a solution are correct.

I was taking full 100mg of Viagra and have weened myself down to 25mg. It's not as good as 100mg, that's for sure BUT I can (usually) still have sex with a hard dick - my refractory period is just a lot longer and I require more stimulation.

Eventually I'll be off them completely - I know this and am committed to this. I've been PE'ing very consistently, kegeling and have completely abandoned all porn and visual stimulation for 90+ days.

I have to pay the price for bad habits and I have a long road ahead but I'll get better. So can you.

Everyone's different and I would never say "don't take the pills!" but also come up with a REAL plan to fix the REAL issue. Good luck.

[Drax Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drax]

So I had sex with my girl last night. Dick was around between 70-90% hard, which is a major improvement. I'm taking generic Cialis, and I think it definitely isn't as potent as the real Cialis I took a week ago.

With the doctor prescibed Cialis (10mg dose) my dick was a steel pipe for almost 2 days. With the Generic, my dick is a bit harder and stays harder for longer, but it doesn't last more than a day. Not sure if it's just a placebo effect. Anyone else experience this - ie generic vs real deal?

Despite taking generic Cialis, my dick was hard for a while, then went a little soft, then was hard for a while, etc. Only taking 10mg. We had sex for around 40 minutes. I never came in that time, but we were both a little exhausted after that Still, it really does restore more confidence in the interim.

I'm going to continue taking 10mg, and eventually will reduce the dosage to 5mg until I'm at the point where I don't need to rely on it. I'm committed to improving the situation so I have some questions :

Regarding Kegels, how long does one need to keep at this to start seeing results? I've only been doing them for a few days and haven't noticed much if any improvement.

My training regimen would be 100 x 1 sec hold Kegels throughout the day. 50 x 5 second holds done throughout the day. Is that about right? Too much, too little?

I've laid off the porn for 2 weeks, and I haven't masturbated to porn, nor have I masturbated at all in the last week. If I masturbate normally is that still okay? Or will that affect my "recovery"?

I must say, I'm glad I joined the site. In fact, I was embarrassed as hell to even post on this forum and share my frustration with complete strangers, but it's good to talk about this stuff.

[Drax Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drax]

No comments or advise?

[HansTwilight Retired ModeratorPE Gym Editor Member of the Month Jan 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close HansTwilight]

NEVER kegel throughout the day, read the pink section in my thread in my signature where it talks about stamina training. Kegels are easy to abuse and people always do more than necessary.

[HansTwilight Retired ModeratorPE Gym Editor Member of the Month Jan 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close HansTwilight]

They're meant to be taken on an empty stomach. From everything I've read and been told (from doctors...not members on this site) Viagra/Cialis/Etc are not addictive nor does the body "adapt".

That being said....those who essentially say that at your age taking these is more of a bandaid than a solution are correct.

I was taking full 100mg of Viagra and have weened myself down to 25mg. It's not as good as 100mg, that's for sure BUT I can (usually) still have sex with a hard dick - my refractory period is just a lot longer and I require more stimulation.

Eventually I'll be off them completely - I know this and am committed to this. I've been PE'ing very consistently, kegeling and have completely abandoned all porn and visual stimulation for 90+ days.

I have to pay the price for bad habits and I have a long road ahead but I'll get better. So can you.

Everyone's different and I would never say "don't take the pills!" but also come up with a REAL plan to fix the REAL issue. Good luck.

That is totally wrong. Cialis has a risk of dependency.

[HansTwilight Retired ModeratorPE Gym Editor Member of the Month Jan 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close HansTwilight]

No comments or advise?

Your issue seems psychological. See a cousor and do your reverse kegels with your kegels. They are mandatory.

[LateBloom Member Find all posts View Profile Close LateBloom]

That is totally wrong. Cialis has a risk of dependency.

But Viagra doesn't?

Well, I'm not wrong in saying that DOCTORS have specifically advised neither are medically addictive and currently there are no substantial studies to show otherwise. Could one become mentally addicted to dick pills? Sure, same as one could become mentally addicted to Vitamin C.

I'm not arguing that there's a con to taking them if you don't need them and haven't been prescribed - but they also shouldn't be demonized because they do help a lot of people.

This site is great and people are often willing to help but there also needs to be an acknowledgement that although biologically we're essentially the same, what worked for one won't necessarily work for the other. Too many like to "diagnose" others or give advice like you MUST do this, NEVER do that, these are MANDATORY.

Not every problem is a result of an injury and not every issue is simply in their head.

[HansTwilight Retired ModeratorPE Gym Editor Member of the Month Jan 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close HansTwilight]

But Viagra doesn't?

Well, I'm not wrong in saying that DOCTORS have specifically advised neither are medically addictive and currently there are no substantial studies to show otherwise. Could one become mentally addicted to dick pills? Sure, same as one could become mentally addicted to Vitamin C.

I'm not arguing that there's a con to taking them if you don't need them and haven't been prescribed - but they also shouldn't be demonized because they do help a lot of people.

This site is great and people are often willing to help but there also needs to be an acknowledgement that although biologically we're essentially the same, what worked for one won't necessarily work for the other. Too many like to "diagnose" others or give advice like you MUST do this, NEVER do that, these are MANDATORY.

Not every problem is a result of an injury and not every issue is simply in their head.

They all do. I was on my phone and didn't feel like changing it.
I never said addictive, I said dependency.
We are a male enhancement site so if you want info on doing kegels, we have every justifiable reason to say NEVER do them throughout the day or reverse kegels are MANDATORY. READ our disclaimer, we do NOT diagnose.

[Drax Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drax]

Your issue seems psychological. See a cousor and do your reverse kegels with your kegels. They are mandatory.

And how would a psychologist help?

[HansTwilight Retired ModeratorPE Gym Editor Member of the Month Jan 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close HansTwilight]

Because your situation seems like performance anxiety. Sex therapists treat this stuff all the time. With all due respect, a lot of people lack enough introspection to realize the etiology of their problems. Therapists can help you with that as well so you can understand why you are anxious and how to escape it. Worth a shot. If you take Viagra you risk forming a dependency and it is very hard o kick it at that point. Some are never able to do it.

[Drax Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drax]

And how would a psychologist help?

Because your situation seems like performance anxiety. Sex therapists treat this stuff all the time. With all due respect, a lot of people lack enough introspection to realize the etiology of their problems. Therapists can help you with that as well so you can understand why you are anxious and how to escape it. Worth a shot. If you take Viagra you risk forming a dependency and it is very hard o kick it at that point. Some are never able to do it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for getting help. My doctor also said I should see someone. But must I see a psychologist or a sex therapist? I'm not really sure which is the more appropriate option.

My anxiety might be on a subconscious level, so it's very possible it's affecting my body negatively. Thing is, my dosage levels for Cialis is quite low - 10 mg. I've only taken it twice in total.

However I did find something strange. Generic Cialis vs doctor prescribed. With the latter, my dick become a steel pipe after 1-2 hours. With the Generic, it took 3-4 hours for it to take effect, and my erection quality improved, but not nearly to the same extent. Not sure if the Generic is simply not as potent (also 10mg). Or if the Generic is simply a placebo.

I took a look at your link. My god, it sounds so complicated to follow. And you say that before I start I need to be mentally clear, not have any issues etc before taking on the exercises. I need a simple routine as I'm still a beginner. Last night I tried doing a reverse kegel. Interesting - it's the muscles used for pooping.

Please understand that before I joined this site I didn't even know what a reverse kegel was. I only figured out how to do it last night. So I'm really starting from scratch here.

I'm hoping that doing some exercises in addition to therapy will resolve my issues.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Keep calm and have slow sex.

Focus on the pleasure and sensation. The goal is not orgasm, the goal is going slow, because that's when they lose control!