ED - Psycological. Can PE help?

[SnowboardGuy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SnowboardGuy]

Hi guys,

I'll start off by apologising. I'm a regular user of forums and know just how annoying it can be when new members post their story and do not source their answers themselves. In truth, I have been searching through this forum for the past couple of days and have gotten many ideas, for which I am grateful. I think something as personal as this subject requires being told directly though, so hopefully someone can read my experience and maybe throw some help my way.

I decided to post my story, in the hope that some more experienced members in this field can give me some reassurance that I can help myself, and improve my lifestyle.

I am a 24yr old male, and have suffered with ED ever since I became sexually active at 15. Thats not to say that I have never had sex, infact i have just enjoyed the best 3 years of my sexual life with my girlfriend (Unfortunately this is now my EX girlfriend). I am often told how great a guy I am, good looks and good personality, and havent really struggled to attract females. However, over the years, this condition has ground me down and I've decided I've had enough. It has gotten to the point that I avoid social situations because I am scared to death of getting into the position of having to make an excuse when a girl tries coming onto me.

As I have said, its been effecting me all my sexual life, until recently (the last 3 years) I have never talked to anybody about this. I just entered my long term relationship with my ex, who was very very understanding about the problem. Due to the issue, I could not use condoms. We got around this by going straight to the GUM clinic and both getting complete checkups so we both knew we were ok to have sex using the contraceptive pill. By trial and error we were able to still enjoy a sex life, although we regularly had to abandon sex midway through. It used to frustrate me when it happened, so I decided to make a trip to the docters. This is very difficult thing for a 20yr old to do, its not an easy thing to talk about. He sent me off for blood tests, and gave me a physical check. All plumbing was ok, and hormone levels were fine. He diagnosed it as psychological ED and recommended me to visit RELATE councilling. I was very sceptical about this, and kinda hoped that it was a hormone problem or something. My thoughts were that at least this could be fixed. Me and my girl attended RELATE councilling for about 3 months and to be truthful, our sex life improved alot. We both however, put this down to becoming more comfortable with each other and learning the tricks that work. I think I can say that for the last 2 years of the relationship, I havent really had much of a problem performing, and the sex has been fantastic

Anyway, we currently split up and my mates are all giving the usual advice "Best way to get over a bird is to get under another" etc etc. Now I've always played myself as believing that I dont like to rush into sex with a girl too soon etc, but if im truthful, this is only because of my problem. I'm not saying I would go out having 1 night stands, but I dont want to be avoiding any possibility of performing should the situation arise. The situation did arise a few nights ago. I met a really nice girl (a friend of a friend) and her and her mate stopped over. We were talking and one thing led to another (We had been drinking a bit) but I did not feel confident that I would be able to perform (Performance anxiety anyone?). Anyway, I made the excuse that I dont think we should have sex so soon and she was fine with it (She even came back to spend some time with me the next day which made me feel a whole lot better). I've been taking stick from mates because I didnt have sex with her though.
I went back to the doctors 2 days ago and he prescribed me 2x 100mg tablets of viagra and said to take half a tablet at a time. Apparently this would just give me some reassurance to get me over the hangups iv got on sex. I know I have hangups over sex, 9yrs of this problem means im terrified of it unless its in a solid relationship.

My first question to you guys is...do you think a tablet will work? I have tried a tablet before and dont get me wrong, I had the best sex ever, but I was going for hours! Not always practical when you're with a new girl.

I've been assessing other factors which could be contributing and I realise I have a few mental issues, anxiety, moodswings etc. I am not sure how much of this is due to the ED issue though!

Hopefully I have given enough information here, if I can give you anymore info please just ask.

My second question is whether anybody else could recommend anything? Oh, I've been relying on porn WAY too much for stimulation, and thanks to this site I have realised this and have knocked it on the head (no pun intended :P). Hopefully this will help a little. I am usually ok when on my own, although its never a fully 100% erect state.

Sorry to rabbit on, just feels good to be able to finally ask peoples advice without fear of being laughed at or made to feel any less of a man.

Thanks for yout time

[frb3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close frb3]

You are a bit young to be suffering thusly. Assume by tablet you are referring to Viagra and its clones. Question number one are you taking anything for your mood swings, i.e. paxil, prozac or similar drugs. These cause ED, as does Ritalin. Probably the first thing you should have done is a full lipid panel blood test. In other words you should check to see if you have an early onset of heart disease, in particular atherosclerosis. Should you come back with a high number on your total cholesterol, the next step would be to have a Echo Cardiogram or Cardio Treadmill Stress Test.

In other word eliminate the physical possibilities. ED is a sign in some instances of the onset of heart disease. Treatment with statins won't affect EQ, you will have a lot of gas. Going further to increase heart output with a drug like Coreg, can make your noodle limp.

Assume since you have a computer you are smart enough to have health insurance that will cover this. Otherwise a blood test at a lab is pretty inexpensive. I pay $40 to get people tested, but that is wholesale, full lipid panel is about $150.

Hope I was of help.

[SnowboardGuy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SnowboardGuy]

Yes I am speaking of a viagra clone. Unsure of the name at the minute as im in bed, can find it if it helps.

When I say mood swings, its nothing major. I am not happy to say it, but in my younger days I was a recreational drug user and I assume that these little "psycho-quirks" are just relating to this. My ED started way before this though. (When I say drug use, I mean I went clubbing and took them there, it was nothing major and as soon as I wanted to stop, it was no problem)

The doctor seemed very sure that there was nothing physically wrong with me, and was confident that it was psycological. I think that the fact that I still get erections proves this?

Thanks for your input.

[Snoopy5170 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Snoopy5170]

You are a bit young to be suffering thusly. Assume by tablet you are referring to Viagra and its clones. Question number one are you taking anything for your mood swings, i.e. paxil, prozac or similar drugs. These cause ED, as does Ritalin.

Welcome Snowboardguy!

I know how hard it is to hold these certain feelings inside but you have come to the right place and people here don't judge you.
I hope only the best for you and your member, so just know you can PM me any time with questions or concerns and I will answer to the best of my ability.

@frb3: Ritalin causes ED? how about adderall? Any proof of this?

-snoop-

[outlawtas Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close outlawtas]

I have to advise against this. Viagra will more likely than not work - but then guess what - you won't be able to perform without it! This is a bad road to go down. Eventually, Viagra will lose it's potency and you'll need more and more of it.

I think you really need to find the issue at hand. Also, are you currently doing PE?

[SnowboardGuy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SnowboardGuy]

I've used it before when I originally got together with my ex partner. I have also thought about the possible "addiction" to it by loosing the ability to perform without.

My problem is though, there is no way I feel confident to perform without it with a girl that im not comfortable with.


Any other people agree with the problems of viagra and would also warn against it?


I am not doing any PE apart from Kegels every other day (Only just started). Is there anything which you guys can recommend to help my problem?

[frb3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close frb3]

Welcome Snowboardguy!

I know how hard it is to hold these certain feelings inside but you have come to the right place and people here don't judge you.
I hope only the best for you and your member, so just know you can PM me any time with questions or concerns and I will answer to the best of my ability.

@frb3: Ritalin causes ED? how about adderall? Any proof of this?

-snoop-

Ritalin is essentially chemical castration of young males. Had to look up adderall, it is an amphetamine combination, based on working against type theory.


PSYCHOLOGICAL

[SnowboardGuy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SnowboardGuy]

Unsure whether this means anything, but I have put myself on a masterbation ban. I decided to make sure that I could go and get an erection tonight. Was in my own bed, alone and couldnt achieve an erection. Im hoping that this is just because i was "concentrating" on achieving, but its still worried me a little bit.

I have some viagra for when I bring this girl back on saturday though Hopefully that will give me the confidence lol

[edit]
I think I have maybe sustained an injury from my first night kegeling. I was only doing it for 5 minutes or so, but since then I have been struggling to gain an erection. Im quite worried about it! Could this be the reason in my loss of ability?

The strange thing is that I woke up this morning with an erection, would this happpen if I have had an injury? Anyway, no kegels for me untill this is sorted. I hope to god that its better within the next day or so.

[Snoopy5170 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Snoopy5170]

I don't think if you had an erection the next morning, you injured yourself.
I bet you just worked it out a lot and you got REALLY sore.

Just keep kegeling on the lighter side and you should be fine.

PS: Your putting too much PRESSURE on yourself! This could be the reason for anxiety issues. But trust me, I know it is much harder to tell yourself to relax than to actually relax when your with a woman and your dick isn't getting hard! I know from experience...

[toxic Banned Find all posts View Profile Close toxic]

I just read in this thread that viagra can become less potent meaning u have to take more to make it work like it did, does that happen for all products? i use a natural herb product called dragon light (Its GREAT! rock hard erections, WHEN U WANT THEM! and after u cum u can carry on going) so does that mean my body can also get used to this? because like this guy im pretty dependent on it too without it i dont feel like im going to be able to preform for my girlfreind (only because i dont last long, after i cum i can carry on going when i take a pill the harder erection are just a bonus.)

By the way i would recommend this product to anybody, pretty expensive but u cant run it down look it up online.

[NP97 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close NP97]

I will say this. PE can help if you don't have a medical problem and it's psychological. The confidence being bigger gives you will allow you to relax more and focus on the act of having sex. Allows you to relax and get any negative thoughts out of your mind.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

Here's a good post on psychological ED that may help: https://www.pegym.com/forums/beginne...html#post16159

[SnowboardGuy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SnowboardGuy]

Thanks guys,

I slept with this girl last night, and it was amazing! I used 50mg of viagra and had no troubles whatsoever! Apart from not being able to cum lol. We both collapsed exhausted after an hour and half and she said it was amazing.

Im glad i used the viagra to get me through the first time with the girl, I feel like a bit of the pressure has gone now, but next time i think I will try and scale down to a 25mg dose to see if thats as effective. I am hoping that alot of it is in my head, and having even a small dose will achieve the same results.

[RIB2211 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RIB2211]

Cut the pill down to 25mg, and continually cut it down more and more to get yourself off of it. I'm going to try this as well (as I told you)!

Good luck man, keep poundin away

[Going411x7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Going411x7]

You don't need more the 25 mg of Viagra and that will stretch each pill as well. I would recommend using viagra for a while with this new girlfriend, so, like you say, until you are comfortable with the relationship. You did mention that you watched porn, and porn will definitely desensitize you as well.

I think you will do just fine if you stay away from the porn and don't masturbate before having sex with your girlfriend. I don't think kegeling should be a problem either. Kegeling should help you get and maintain erections.

You sound like a pretty sensitive guy, and often times, we sensitive types tend to focus too much on the problem. I think if you try to concentrate more on your girlfriend and what pleases her, you will not be thinking so much about your own performance. And remember, there are many ways to please a woman besides vaginal penetration. You can go down on her if she enjoys oral sex; you can stimulate her (ever so gently) with your fingers. My tongue works as well, and sometimes better, than my cock.