Share An Awkward Moment

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

NEVER! Piss off a Redhead, lesson one for the day boys.

[discreet Senior Member Member of the Month May 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close discreet]

I try to explain I didn't like the taste or texture but if anything this makes him worse and I realise they are in fact truffle flakes.

Yes, truffles are an acquired taste.

I've some truffle oil that is used sparingly in certain creations of mine.

Still, not for everything, everyday or every body.

[donkeehote Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close donkeehote]

True Story:

10 year old son does not adhere to closed doors.

One day early morning while getting I'm getting ready for work before anyone else is up, son sleepily walks through closed hallway door, to the closed bedroom door, through the closed bathroom door, peeks in and asks what Im doing with a ruler in one hand and my pecker in the other. Now, to be fair, he has walked in while Im showering or peeing in the past so that part is nothing new. But with the ruler in one hand that threw him for a loop. "What are you doing?" He says.

Me: (startled, casually panicked) "Measuring"

Oh boy. So he tells mom. Mom calls me on the phone later in the day laughing asking me what that was all about. So I tell her. Then she asks me "So how long is it?"

In my mind Im thinking, bone pressed? Flaccid? NBP?

"17cm" I tell her.

Her: OK.

End of discussion.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

LOL. My 21 year old daughter at the time walked in on me pumping my Phallosan. I turned away and asked her to leave. Later in the day she asked I was using a catheter. Now and days 3 years later I'd just keep pumping and put it on. I got my PF, pumps and clamps all over the room. Bathmate by the hot tub. I was going to hold off hanging again till she left for school but who knows.

[KMWylie Senior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close KMWylie]

Recent awkward moment...

A friend's (Tyler) grandfather passed away two weeks ago. He's stationed at Ft. Bragg, and came home on emergency leave for the funeral. Now, when he was younger, he had kind of floppy hair -- not long exactly, but longish bangs always in his eyes... think early Justin Bieber. LOL Now, being in the Army, he does not have floppy hair. :-)

Anyway, we're at the viewing, and they have a big board up with photos. I'm standing there with Tyler, MrKimberly, and Tyler's mom, as Tyler is talking about the photos - most of which are pics of him and his grandfather.

I point at one photo of a teenager and his grandpa and make the comment, "Aww... I kind of miss your floppy hair."

Tyler looks at me and goes, "Umm... that's my mom."

And, yes, as I stated earlier, his mom is standing right there with us.

I wanted to just crawl under the table.

Yikes.

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

NEVER! Piss off a Redhead, lesson one for the day boys.

Yes can vouch for that seeing as my eldest daughter is a red head along with one of her sons/grandson and her daughter/granddaughter, so yes never piss any of them off.

NOWHARD

[Eazygeezer Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Eazygeezer]

I remember staying at my brother and his wife's a long time ago, and they were always arguing, really bad. So I went out one Saturday night and got wasted, spent my taxi money and walked home
.
went in through the front door and I could hear them arguing again, so I went upstairs to the loo, then thought I know I'm pissed I'll go tell them to shut up.

so I open end the door to the living room and said loudly "for fucks sake you two, isn't it about time you stopped arguing!!"

then i blinked, and realised it was the wrong house, the bloke and his wife were totally gobsmacked and didn't say I word. I mumbled some old shit about sorry wrong house and went round to my brothers.

He almost pissed himself laughing when I told him. Later I couldn't even remember which house I had gone in, all I remember is the door was red

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Thanks Geezer. I needed that laugh. LOL.

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

You may or may not know that besides being a great lover and cook, ZZM has some other hidden talents such as painting and drawing. I bought him a sketch pad once with a set of professional colored pencils to hone his craft because I knew how it relaxed him. He had sketched many beautiful drawings. When ZZM turned 40 I had a surprise birthday party for him. Many old friends from his past attended along with many members of his family as we live 9 hours away from everyone. Well, I was sitting at a table with his mother and his good friend from his home town and was bragging on how good he was. I got the sketch pad to show them how good he was and watched as they flipped through. Of course I forgot about the nude sketch he drew of me on page 8. Unfortunately they could tell it was me as he is that good, and his mom looked at me and said "I wonder what his inspiration was" and she smiled and laughed. Completely embarrassed, I quickly grabbed the sketch pad and said well I guess you have seen enough of that. His mom said, I feel I know you even better now. We actually became closer after that!

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

You may or may not know that besides being a great lover and cook, ZZM has some other hidden talents such as painting and drawing. I bought him a sketch pad once with a set of professional colored pencils to hone his craft because I knew how it relaxed him. He had sketched many beautiful drawings. When ZZM turned 40 I had a surprise birthday party for him. Many old friends from his past attended along with many members of his family as we live 9 hours away from everyone. Well, I was sitting at a table with his mother and his good friend from his home town and was bragging on how good he was. I got the sketch pad to show them how good he was and watched as they flipped through. Of course I forgot about the nude sketch he drew of me on page 8. Unfortunately they could tell it was me as he is that good, and his mom looked at me and said "I wonder what his inspiration was" and she smiled and laughed. Completely embarrassed, I quickly grabbed the sketch pad and said well I guess you have seen enough of that. His mom said, I feel I know you even better now. We actually became closer after that!

Reminds me that we need another nude modeling session to help me "relax" some more. But, that taught her not to take my stuff without checking with me first. I would have reminded her of the sketches that were questionable.

[8.39 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close 8.39]

Before some years at a toy store was playing the classic basketball game.I throw a shot and the ball slams onto the basket and then hitting the hand of a woman where holding a hot coffe and was spiled all over her clothes,and her little daughters also!Her little son was a little further and escaped the coffe rain so was laughing like a little bastard:-p!This was one of the moments you don't know what to say!

[proactive Senior MemberMember of the Month ? 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close proactive]

borax.jpg

Once when I was about 20 years old I was driving through the Oregon desert on my way to Salt Lake City. I decided to do a stop at a place called Borax Lake. Borax lake was an open pit borax mine. They hit hot water and the pit filled up. At the time you needed to know which sagebrush to turn at to be on the right road. Now, this is very very rural.

There is probably only 20 people living within 50 miles of this place. So I pull up to the edge of the pool, like where the guy in the picture is and I strip down to my nothing. One thing the picture can't show you is that you have to wade through knee deep water for about 50 feet or so till you get into the deep water. And on top of that the bottom is a clay like material with a lot of borax rock chunks in it. The borax is a lot like coral. Sharp.

So it is a slow wade out to the deep water. It is mid April. Cool day with occasional thunderstorms. I was just enjoying myself. I looked up and here these three collage age guys are walking down the road toward the pool. I was surprised, but no big deal I thought. I figured they were coming for a dip. Then three collage age girls come next.

It ended up being a whole collage class 30-40 people. Did you know there is a fish that lives in Borax lake that lives nowhere else on the planet. Well that is what the professor told the kids in his 45 minute lecture right there next to my truck. Some of the kids were even leaning on my truck.

Looking back I wish I would have done the slow wade up to my truck. It would have been funny as hell. But I didn't. I waited till most of them cleared out and made my way to the truck. I felt BUSTED!

[Jobe8302 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jobe8302]

Several years ago my wife's aunt and uncle retired early and done a lot of traveling. They stop at our house twice a year, coming and going. So we knew they were coming in at some point mid to late evening. While we were at work they called my wife saying they were getting there earlier than expected and wanted to surprise me with a big home cooked steak. So the wife took off early to meet them and show them them to the store. I didn't tell my wife that I took off early to mow because I figured she'd have a bazillion task for me to do. I get home and see my wife's vehicle (because my wife and her uncle took his truck to the store), which didn't surprise me because I figured she might take off early to prepare a room or something. I head on in and hear the master bedroom shower running, I thought "how perfect, a quickie before company arrives". I undress and open the shower door to her aunt (it wasn't a bad view for a woman in her mid 50's, she has taken care of herself, plus fake tits) I quickly closed the door and start apologizing. She says "If you wash my back I'll wash yours but you'll have to wash your own nuts". I was so embarrassed and angry at my wife for not telling me they were there. To this day my wife laughs when it's brought up.

To make matters worse her aunt told all four of the other aunt's, so they all ask if I want to see their tits. Her uncle jokes a lot like I do and he tells me "did you get a chub...oh hell what am I saying, l know ya did, she's smoking hot". With the way her family jokes, I was expecting a DVD of cougar porn or something for Christmas.

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

Several years ago my wife's aunt and uncle retired early and done a lot of traveling. They stop at our house twice a year, coming and going. So we knew they were coming in at some point mid to late evening. While we were at work they called my wife saying they were getting there earlier than expected and wanted to surprise me with a big home cooked steak. So the wife took off early to meet them and show them them to the store. I didn't tell my wife that I took off early to mow because I figured she'd have a bazillion task for me to do. I get home and see my wife's vehicle (because my wife and her uncle took his truck to the store), which didn't surprise me because I figured she might take off early to prepare a room or something. I head on in and hear the master bedroom shower running, I thought "how perfect, a quickie before company arrives". I undress and open the shower door to her aunt (it wasn't a bad view for a woman in her mid 50's, she has taken care of herself, plus fake tits) I quickly closed the door and start apologizing. She says "If you wash my back I'll wash yours but you'll have to wash your own nuts". I was so embarrassed and angry at my wife for not telling me they were there. To this day my wife laughs when it's brought up.

To make matters worse her aunt told all four of the other aunt's, so they all ask if I want to see their tits. Her uncle jokes a lot like I do and he tells me "did you get a chub...oh hell what am I saying, l know ya did, she's smoking hot". With the way her family jokes, I was expecting a DVD of cougar porn or something for Christmas.

Well son, it's not as bad as your mother walking in on you while masturbating.

[Jobe8302 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jobe8302]

Well son, it's not as bad as your mother walking in on you while masturbating.

For the love of God, mom!... I've told you a thousand times, I was cleaning it...really fast.