Problem with girlfriend!!!!! Please help ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

I understand that you want to share these things and it is okay. The Gym is a good place to talk about all this relationship stuff. You have a big crowd here and everyone can jump in with their opinions. So just share with us if you feel like that. No worries mate. Open the bottle and let it out.

What now? You called her, she was happy about it and then you went to have lunch leaving everything open? Did you make any plans to see each other or how is the relationship moving forward? Did she ask space to herself so she could solve her issues in peace or what is in the horizon now?

i misunderstood that sentence .... I told her i will be going out for lunch and also told her to have a good day .... She replied in kind and then we said bye to each other and hung up .... I didn't make any plans to see each other because we are both low on dough ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

No mate, I meant that you called her and then YOU went to have lunch. Anyways, that's not important, I was just telling a story.

I will write in few minutes a bit more. I am a bit busy now (on the phone with my better half).

Enjoy your conversation ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

I understand that you want to share these things and it is okay. The Gym is a good place to talk about all this relationship stuff. You have a big crowd here and everyone can jump in with their opinions. So just share with us if you feel like that. No worries mate. Open the bottle and let it out.

What now? You called her, she was happy about it and then you went to have lunch leaving everything open? Did you make any plans to see each other or how is the relationship moving forward? Did she ask space to herself so she could solve her issues in peace or what is in the horizon now?

I also feel it's a good time to be away from each other because of our problems .... i will take this moment as a test of how strong our relationship is .... I don't want to feel like i am smothering her by always asking her if i could come over because she's going through a lot of stress and worries and i guess adding my smothering and neediness on top would surely kill her .... i think the space is good but i don't want this to be the end all .... i hope we can gather from here and carry on with our relationship .... I guess this absence will make her heart grow fonder too ....

[larrypinball Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close larrypinball]

Hi Larrypinball,
Thanks a lot for your input .... it's really helping me .... i can use all the information and advice that you guys have been giving me .... i did ask the question myself a few times during the relationship whether what i was feeling was actually love or was it because the sex with her was really good that i felt a powerful thirst for lust .... whenever i am with her all i can think of is trying to get into her pants .... and maybe all my emotions are based around that .... but there is also a side to me that likes her .... or maybe i am experiencing selfishness and only want her for myself and not for anybody else till i am done and bored with her sex .... i still have to find that out for myself ....

You're very welcome EQKing! I'm glad to be able to help out.

Thats's some serious questions you need to ask yourself right there. Don't let that EQ-stick of yours fool you. Sometimes all you need to answer these questions is time, I mean it's ok to feel selfish and obsessive to a certain point (and can even be attractive). But you don't want to put yourself or her in a situation purely based on lust and convenience.

If your differences are cultural, then you might be able to work it out. But love is not a one way street - love is something that happens between two people. If only one person "feel" love, then it's something else.

Might be harsh but... so far the only things you've said about her is that you guys have amazing sex and that she does nice things for you. That is nice, but it's hardly love. Once again, what does love mean to you?

Wish you the best of luck man!

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

During the past one month i have been journaling down my feelings on a note book to get rid of all the negativity surrounding this relationship .... I feel much better now discussing this with you guys ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

You're very welcome EQKing! I'm glad to be able to help out.

Thats's some serious questions you need to ask yourself right there. Don't let that EQ-stick of yours fool you. Sometimes all you need to answer these questions is time, I mean it's ok to feel selfish and obsessive to a certain point (and can even be attractive). But you don't want to put yourself or her in a situation purely based on lust and convenience.

If your differences are cultural, then you might be able to work it out. But love is not a one way street - love is something that happens between two people. If only one person "feel" love, then it's something else.

Might be harsh but... so far the only things you've said about her is that you guys have amazing sex and that she does nice things for you. That is nice, but it's hardly love. Once again, what does love mean to you?

Wish you the best of luck man!

I guess love means commitment,sacrifice,trust,loyalty,honesty and respect of the highest level towards both partners in the relationship ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

Even my girl knows that i want sex all the time .... she's always complaining about that .... She always tells me that all i ever want is sex when i come over to see her or when she comes over to my place .... She told me many times that a relationship is not only about sex and that there are many more components to it ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

I am off to be now .... need to catch up on my sleep ....

[larrypinball Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close larrypinball]

I guess love means commitment,sacrifice,trust,loyalty,honesty and respect of the highest level towards both partners in the relationship ....

Wow man, I guess I shouldn't take this seriously?! Seems like taken straight from the "Love for Dummy's - 2nd Edition". No offense, but what I mean is that your answer "sounded" like you wrote what one is suppose to write. I'm not saying your wrong in your definition, just think it's a bit broad and every word in that sentence can mean many different things depending on who you ask. What you need to do is try and define what it means to you (not just throw a definition out there)... Fuck, let it take some time.

Sorry for drifting away. The basic problem is that you feel you don't get the response you would like in your relationship? And that you fear her being unfaithful?

[Elias Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Elias]

Wow man, I guess I shouldn't take this seriously?! Seems like taken straight from the "Love for Dummy's - 2nd Edition". No offense, but what I mean is that your answer "sounded" like you wrote what one is suppose to write.

I agree with Larry. When I read your definition of what love means to you, I thought that, is this what you feel for your girl? You already wrote earlier that you don't trust Thai women but still, you are dating one! So can you really apply all those things like trust and honesty to this girl? Is commitment what you are really after or is your cock on a long Spring break?

Are you feeling these things for her?

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

Wow man, I guess I shouldn't take this seriously?! Seems like taken straight from the "Love for Dummy's - 2nd Edition". No offense, but what I mean is that your answer "sounded" like you wrote what one is suppose to write. I'm not saying your wrong in your definition, just think it's a bit broad and every word in that sentence can mean many different things depending on who you ask. What you need to do is try and define what it means to you (not just throw a definition out there)... Fuck, let it take some time.

Sorry for drifting away. The basic problem is that you feel you don't get the response you would like in your relationship? And that you fear her being unfaithful?

Actually forget the quote .... I agree it's quite over the top .... i do have a fear that she might be unfaithful .... or i may just be over assessing things here .... but if i do find out then it's over between us .... i don't want to be with someone that's like that .... i have been having my suspicions without solid proof though .... but when i feel i am being deceived i make sure i do it first .... i know it sounds bad but i've been cheating on her .... i've slept with 5 different women since i've met her ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

I agree with Larry. When I read your definition of what love means to you, I thought that, is this what you feel for your girl? You already wrote earlier that you don't trust Thai women but still, you are dating one! So can you really apply all those things like trust and honesty to this girl? Is commitment what you are really after or is your cock on a long Spring break?

Are you feeling these things for her?

According to the definition of what i posted earlier i would have to agree that i don't love this girl .... i don't trust her too much .... i've always taken her words as empty and deceitful .... well about dating her,i fell into the trap .... i just went along thinking it will stop eventually after a few weeks or so but then it went deep .... I have to admit that i haven't been totally honest with her too because i feel that if i have to be 100% honest with her it won't be good. There were situations during our relationship that benefitted from me not being honest with her .... My goal in life is to actually sleep with as many women as possible.In that case commitment sounds far fetched.But i had feelings for this girl and while i was dating her in the beginning i was really into it.I wouldn't make a pass at others girls or even look at them .... but i started questioning my commitment when i noticed her trying to get attention from guys(Not outrageously) in the clubs from time to time.Maybe she was trying to test me or something .... but it really pissed me off though i didn't show it to her .... common a guy is here not even checking out other hot chicks for her and she's trying to attract other guys right in front of me .... that's a form of disrespect for me .... what do i do next ? yeah,i cheat on her because she dosen't deserve my respect ....

[larrypinball Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close larrypinball]

Actually forget the quote .... I agree it's quite over the top .... i do have a fear that she might be unfaithful .... or i may just be over assessing things here .... but if i do find out then it's over between us .... i don't want to be with someone that's like that .... i have been having my suspicions without solid proof though .... but when i feel i am being deceived i make sure i do it first .... i know it sounds bad but i've been cheating on her .... i've slept with 5 different women since i've met her ....

EQKing... Come on! I've a hard time calling this love, so let's drop that. As I see it you should be honest and straight - take all these things with her, spill your guts and tell her everything (even that you cheated), if she means that much to you (even if not).

You need to take a step back and get some perspective, let what happens happen (it will anyways) and get a grip on yourself... so you can feel better!!!

Cheating on her... that is just bad man; why would you expect her to behave any different towards you? Are you projecting your bad conscious on to her? Even though you might be right about her cheating - takes one to know one right?!

The way your describing the situation now it's just heading for disaster... if you don't act on it!!!

Do what it takes to get a hold of it and make yourself feel better!

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

EQKing... Come on! I've a hard time calling this love, so let's drop that. As I see it you should be honest and straight - take all these things with her, spill your guts and tell her everything (even that you cheated), if she means that much to you (even if not).

You need to take a step back and get some perspective, let what happens happen (it will anyways) and get a grip on yourself... so you can feel better!!!

Cheating on her... that is just bad man; why would you expect her to behave any different towards you? Are you projecting your bad conscious on to her? Even though you might be right about her cheating - takes one to know one right?!

The way your describing the situation now it's just heading for disaster... if you don't act on it!!!

Do what it takes to get a hold of it and make yourself feel better!

If i tell her that i cheated on her then the relationship is definitely over .... what if i find out that she actually did not cheat ? It'd get even worse .... My needs were not being met in this relationship and when she's going through her mood swings she does not give me sex,which annoys me .... so to make myself feel better i go to a club and pick up women to cheat on her and to release the pressure built up inside of me .... I will have patience and see where this relationship goes .... i don't want it to end just like that .... we had great times during the start of this relationship and had loads of fun together .... but if she wants to end it i'll respect her wishes and detatch myself from her and move on ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

I don't want in any way to lead her towards a breakup by revealing my whereabouts in the clubs and cheating on her .... If she ultimately wants out of this relationship i want it to be because of her "feelings" towards me and towards this relationship .... I don't want to regret having revealed my ways and then find out that she really loves me and then decides to break up because of it .... that'd be a bad situation to be in .... i'd rather we end the realtionship because she's not longer interested to be in the realtionship excluding the external factors .... Then it would mean that we were just not meant to be together and i can accept that ....