"Without Embarrassment"

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

YouTube - How TV Ruined Your Life S1E4P1

Synopsis: Charlie Brooker explores the gulf between real life and television. From Blind Date to rom-coms, TV has warped our expectations of romance, but do 'soulmates' even exist?

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

One of the biggest turn offs for women is when that the approach or connection they felt with a guy was not as special... when they find out that he is like that with most women or he had a set formula, tactic, method when pursuing and he uses same with all women (he might fail with most women but it was still a set method) he might have a different plays, depending on the girl he is working. But its just a removed self involved approach in the search of pussy and he dragged you into the game.
Its a huge turn off when she finds the spark was an illusion built on emotional manipulation ..which is basically what players and PUA's do.. they manipulate the female into feel special emotionally, manipulate into feeling sexual attraction, manipulate females into thinking they want you..AND if a relationship stems from this play and she suddenly realizes or finds out that you have a method then you are kind of screwed because she no longer feels special and she won't trust your feelings towards her.

Those pick up books or how to score woman books can be useful for people have zero idea on how to approach woman ..but they are harmful when the reader takes on the mentality of a player or the goal is just to stroke their ego and cock

I personally find quiet players to be worse then the player players.. quiet players being the guys who don't come across like players and subtly play you out, They are often in denial about being players so they don't own it.. were as player players own it and you know exactly where you stand with them.

Be yourself when approaching women.. if you are not yourself then you will end up with someone who doesn't suit you or doesn't like you once the front starts evaporating (or after the first fuck) .. Its about confidence in self, not confidence the pickup ... many players are very insecure in self, but confident in pick up...PUA mentality is fulfilling if you live by your ego, but if you live by your heart then its hallow.

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

It's hard to disagree with you, TTBB.

While searching the net for any testimonials from people who had tried these methods to achieve their set goals, I found several posts where people were very dissatisfied with the PUA hate, exposing the tricks and some even labelling it as a fraud.

Also found a website: PuaHate.com - The Forefront Of The Anti-Pickup-Artist Movement

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

One of the biggest turn offs for women is when that the approach or connection they felt with a guy was not as special... when they find out that he is like that with most women or he had a set formula, tactic, method when pursuing and he uses same with all women (he might fail with most women but it was still a set method) he might have a different plays, depending on the girl he is working. But its just a removed self involved approach in the search of pussy and he dragged you into the game.
Its a huge turn off when she finds the spark was an illusion built on emotional manipulation ..which is basically what players and PUA's do.. they manipulate the female into feel special emotionally, manipulate into feeling sexual attraction, manipulate females into thinking they want you..AND if a relationship stems from this play and she suddenly realizes or finds out that you have a method then you are kind of screwed because she no longer feels special and she won't trust your feelings towards her.

Those pick up books or how to score woman books can be useful for people have zero idea on how to approach woman ..but they are harmful when the reader takes on the mentality of a player or the goal is just to stroke their ego and cock

I personally find quiet players to be worse then the player players.. quiet players being the guys who don't come across like players and subtly play you out, They are often in denial about being players so they don't own it.. were as player players own it and you know exactly where you stand with them.

Be yourself when approaching women.. if you are not yourself then you will end up with someone who doesn't suit you or doesn't like you once the front starts evaporating (or after the first fuck) .. Its about confidence in self, not confidence the pickup ... many players are very insecure in self, but confident in pick up...PUA mentality is fulfilling if you live by your ego, but if you live by your heart then its hallow.

Exactly!

No I mean 300% truth there. once the Facade falls, and you're a genuine dude, the type of girl that the books help you get are totally a mismatch for your type. As I said before, when i started being nice (the nice guy) to them, i started getting disrespected. The girls expect a certain level of pushback and if you don't give it to them, they'll run all over you because they're USED to you being a certain way. I found this out on my own, and it sucked. I've dealt with some really low life women. Outside of their looks, they were ugly to the core. But, that's how I came to the opinion, you are what you attract.

What the books helped me most of all was realizing that women in general aren't out to break your face. I had been slowly working my game up on my own, because as much as I love her, mama couldn't teach me to be a man. That's something you have to learn on your own if you don't have a dad. I actually was told by a girl "you're the kind of guy I want to marry... but..." of course that was a long time ago, i'm still that guy, but not to every woman. I believe that they're great for helping men who don't have confidence in self to be able to pick up any type of girl they want. Once you believe in yourself, there's nothing else out there you can't achieve.

The book by Tariq Nasheed also said theres a difference between a Mack and a Player. I am shooting for being a mack. With confidence and abilities, Players go for quantity. How many women can you sleep with. you just go for it. A Mack has grown out of that phase is able to see that you need a quality woman. You also don't need more than one. A mack is a guy who's in complete control of himself in every situation. It was completely derogatory to the "player" mentality.

Okay i had the book name wrong. It was "The Art of Mackin"
http://www.amazon.com/Art-Mackin-Tar.../dp/094839059X

interesting Book that does teach you how to be a certain way. and in all honesty, the stuff worked. I actually escaped the "Friend Zone" using some of the stuff i learned in that book and from my cousin (my cousin was a great teacher) I still believe that you only get what you put in. So if you put in 100% bullsh*t, you'll get it out. If you put in 100% friendship, that's all you'll get out. You need a healthy balance of interest signals as well as genuine heart. you need to make sure you're capable of knowing where you want to go with a relationship and having the confidence to go after what you want.

YouTube - How TV Ruined Your Life S1E4P1

Synopsis: Charlie Brooker explores the gulf between real life and television. From Blind Date to rom-coms, TV has warped our expectations of romance, but do 'soulmates' even exist?

LOL! dude, that's the same guy who did the video about "New Report Formats" Hilarious video

"The window for intercourse is closing fast" LOL!


And it's super true. I completely agree with that video. Sad as it may be, i do think TV has corrupted our minds to a point.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Those pick up books or how to score woman books can be useful for people have zero idea on how to approach woman ..but they are harmful when the reader takes on the mentality of a player or the goal is just to stroke their ego and cock

Totally agree. It's about respect. Self respect and respect for other people. Sure there's a pickup subculture where people (men and women) go out night after night just to get laid, and there are rules to that game, but it's an empty game.

On the other hand, I stand by what I said about treating routines like a joke book. If you think you can paint yourself a personality from these things you're gonna crash and burn. But learning a few choice phrases to lead a situation where you want to go, I don't see the problem with that, especially if you're nervous about how to express your intentions. Living that way is crazy, plain and simple, but if you treat it as a leg up, I think it's ok.

In a way it's the internet to blame. A bit like with porn. Porn is fine, I have no ethical or moral problem with it, hell I love it, but the internet oversaturates you to the point where you lose perspecive on real life and that suffers. Same with this PUA stuff. Getting some tips and some advice on how to approach women, how to keep your nerves in check, or whatever it may be, that's just the same advice you might get off your mates anyway but a bit easier to find now.

Living as an internet delivered personality is just a road to ruin.

I personally find quiet players to be worse then the player players.. quiet players being the guys who don't come across like players and subtly play you out, They are often in denial about being players so they don't own it.. were as player players own it and you know exactly where you stand with them.

Interesting, and important comment, and that made me reflect on myself a little. I'm a single guy now, and I pick up women from time to time. I have mixed feelings about PUA material as I said up there, however I don't "use" it as such. I might try a bit of play acting from time to time, but it's just fun really - or at least that's how I see it. Again, it's about respect for other people. Pulling out these pseudo-hypnotic NLP tricks is pretty unpleasant, but on the other extreme just being yourself and floating around hoping some girl picks YOU up is insane, you HAVE to go for the things you want, and if that means you need a bit of strategy to do it, I think that's totally fine.

I think the key phrase is "PUA mentality." The internet PUA "scene" paints a picture of how you must be and what women want in such a shallow way, one that has very little resonance with real life. I think it's a shame that some otherwise great advice and fun things to try that are lurking in the material gets lost in the more cynical and destructive personality-by-numbers stuff.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

The book by Tariq Nasheed also said theres a difference between a Mack and a Player. I am shooting for being a mack.

Actually you surprise me. This is the first thing you've said so far that I disagree with. I don't think you should shoot to be anything, least of all somebody else's ideal. You need to be yourself, yes, but you also need to be the best yourself you can be, and I'd have thought that if you took that attitude you'd probably surpass "the mack" whoever that is.

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

You need to be yourself, yes, but you also need to be the best yourself you can be, and I'd have thought that if you took that attitude you'd probably surpass "the mack" whoever that is.

Hmmmm, you make a strong point.

[wanthis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close wanthis]

Wow this is a pretty good thread. I agree with somebodyelse. He's not saying you have to be a dick to use what you learn. I mean it could give someone a boost to go talk to a girl that the person really likes. It may make someone realize that they're worth more than they think they are and could actually have a chance to be with a specific girl. And there are girls out there who are just there to tease you. They lead you on till you make a fool out of yourself. So if books like these can help some poor soul to avoid getting in a situation like that, then I think they're well worth the read.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I think the problem with a lot of these books is not that they're all bad, it's that many of them categorically state this is how you should be and this is how you should act, and other books and approaches are wrong and will leave you wanting. That's ok if you're sure of yourself, you can take that with a pinch of salt and treat it all like a bit of a laugh, but they do also appeal to some of the most vulnerable people with the most crippling social anxiety and I can see them being damaging for those guys if they take it too seriously.

I guess you can't protect everybody, but that's the trouble with the internet, all viewpoints are covered, but you have to go looking for them in the first place.

[phil88 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close phil88]

According to these books(pandoras box, vin dicarlo written, first ones i could find online) i should never have let her fix my problem, because that is her need fulfilled so now she will move on to another guy until she fixes his problem. She justifies sex, is an idealist when it comes to relationships and finally she is an investor. This means she is very sexual, likes to be touched and although shy, it is very easy to get her to let go and really enjoy herself. Her idea of the perfect life is an unattainable dream she has from when she was a child and she puts all her time into one guy instead of testing multiple guys at the same time.

good to know. so according to these books my only problem is i let them change who i am to be who they want me to be. Basiaclly i keep being an asshole and the problem is solved. Good to know.

[Samurai Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Samurai]

Those pick up books or how to score woman books can be useful for people have zero idea on how to approach woman

These books are designed for people with zero game and can help them build confidence until they take off their training wheels and go it alone. Many men have developed their own game after starting with these books.


Be yourself when approaching women.. if you are not yourself then you will end up with someone who doesn't suit you or doesn't like you once the front starts evaporating (or after the first fuck) .. Its about confidence in self, not confidence the pickup ... many players are very insecure in self, but confident in pick up...PUA mentality is fulfilling if you live by your ego, but if you live by your heart then its hallow.

For so many men, being themselves is not enough, they realize this after getting rejected so many times. I find that "Just be yourself" is advise that usually comes from women. If you are a natural with women then "being yourself" is all you need but for a lot of guys, they need a little help to get in the door and these PUA books can provide this help.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

To some extent the blame for the bad side lays with human nature. I don't think there are very many people with low confidence and self esteem who think "I just wish I could be the best person I could be and proud of it" ... no, they think "I wish I was *that* guy"

I know that feeling from when I was younger and insecure. I don't really know how you deal with that.

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

For so many men, being themselves is not enough, they realize this after getting rejected so many times. I find that "Just be yourself" is advise that usually comes from women. If you are a natural with women then "being yourself" is all you need but for a lot of guys, they need a little help to get in the door and these PUA books can provide this help.

Exactly.

To some extent the blame for the bad side lays with human nature. I don't think there are very many people with low confidence and self esteem who think "I just wish I could be the best person I could be and proud of it" ... no, they think "I wish I was *that* guy"

I know that feeling from when I was younger and insecure. I don't really know how you deal with that.

And this is true ROFL. I've found myself being happy with me, a lot, lately. It's not been until I realized just how awesome I really am (not an ego trip, just that I realized i'm a cool guy and that I don't have to be so serious all the time) and that even though I may have my flaws, I have to love me before I can love anyone else. Hell, I even ventured out to make a fool of myself publically. Something I would have taken myself too seriously to before.

Wore this Teddy Bear Winter hat with big ears on it with an expensive top coat and nice scarf... I looked professional with a big goofy Teddybear on my head. People absolutely loved it, it was such a conversation piece that these hot college girls in a Station wagon made it a point to get my attention just so they could wave. I was headed out to have lunch with a girl i just met so I wasn't really in the flirting with other women mood, but i did flirt with them a little. Definitely had mucho openings with them. Easily the funnest thing ever just letting go and being my goofy self

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

Yeah, not gonna follow this PUA stuff to the tick. I am told I am goofy and I manage to get laughs. I can become a bit snobby if I want to.

So yeah, David D'Angelo's books don't impress me with its message of "It's all about games for females."

[ryansambas Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ryansambas]

I downloaded a book about picking up women but I've never took them seriously.