Threesome coming up. What the hell do I do!

[jstane45 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jstane45]

My wife and I have talked about this generally for a while, and now she actually arranged it for this weekend, with one of her friends. She's super excited, and so am I, but I'm also nervous as hell and don't even know if I'll be able to perform because of it. I'll deal with that somehow, so my other concern is that I don't have a clue how to engage in a threesome. Certainly can't get advice from the fictitious world of porn. Haven't watched porn in years anyways.

Any of you that have done this, give me an overview of how I should run the show. Should I take charge and just do whatever with this other girl? Or maybe just be passive and let them play, and wait for them to ask for things? Or maybe instead I should focus on my wife and let the other girl work herself into the fun as she wishes. I just don't know.

If you've had any experience with this any and all bits of advice would be appreciated.

[Black Amethyst Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Black Amethyst]

I am seriously interested in this as well. I have no idea what to do. I sure as hell know not to rush it onto the other girl. May give bad signals to the wife.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

I have always wanted a 3 some to happen in my life, but OP, you bring up a good point lol I'm gonna follow this thread!

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Invite me!

[jstane45 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jstane45]

Let me add that my two main concerns are:

1) Not making my wife jealous or uncomfortable with the way I play with the other girl, and;

2) Making sure the girl wants to come back!

Maybe that will help focus the advice anyone has for us. Thanks!

[popol5169 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close popol5169]

Well, ask your wife !

I can't even get a twosome so stay happy and positive !

[jstane45 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jstane45]

Well, ask your wife !

I can't even get a twosome so stay happy and positive !

I have, and she doesn't know how she wants it to go either. She just says "let's have fun." She can't tell me anything specific of what she's looking for.

[bahamaboner71 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bahamaboner71]

you lucky SOB you!

[Jm123 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jm123]

Let your wife take the lead...... Or talk to her about making it into a role play event. Come up with a scenario (this lets you figure out what she is thinking without her spelling it out), and play it out. Realistically that is the option I would take. It seems like the least risky scenario, as far as someone's feelings being hurt.

Personally never have done a threesome, but it will most likely occur in our future.

[TehDBare Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TehDBare]

Just think ahead of time and make sure youve discussed things with your wife fully, things that happen can't be undone and if your wife gets jealous of something or ends up with a mental image that bothers her it won't go away. Make sure she is comfortable with everything beforehand. Once that is done my suggestion is for her to run the show, not you, that way the only things that happen are things she is comfortable with (saying it and seeing it happen are two different things). You want a repeat so you have to make sure she likes it, secondary is the third person enjoying it so she wants to return (you can always find another third person, only one wife). As for yourself don't go into with preconceived ideas, for two reasons. First, it won't live up to the fantasy if you do. Second if you think this is a one-shot deal you are likely to take advantage in your zeal and do something your wife isn't comfortable with or attack it with so much enthusiasm your wife may feel insecure afterwards. This can be a fun experience, but your marriage is more important, take precautions when venturing into potentially dangerous territory.

The warnings come as a result of a bad experience on the day after. She said she was ok with everything ahead of time, but once presented with the reality of it things changed.

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

I know most guys would jump at the chance to have a threesome so I must be one of the oddballs. Personally I wouldn't dream of it. For the life of me, I can't imagine touching another woman in any way especially in my own bed. My concern for you and your wife are the feelings after the event. What might sound really fun now may drive a wedge between the two of you later. I know you will do your best not to make her jealous but no matter who is in charge and what happens, she will be seeing you doing who knows what to another woman. Like TehDBare said, once done can't be undone.
Just a thought. Since she arranged this whole thing, is it more for her or you or is it for both? I kinda wondered if she just wants to experience what it is like to be with a woman herself and felt she has to include you.
You are treading on dangerous territory for a married couple so please think it out before taking the plunge. Best of luck to you.

[9TeXaS0BaD3BoY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close 9TeXaS0BaD3BoY]

The girl I'm with now wanted to have one when we first started dating, glad we didn't though or we wouldn't be together now. I would rather have just her, I don't need anyone else

[Realman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Realman]

when it's done, tell us how it went.

[jstane45 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jstane45]

when it's done, tell us how it went.

You can bet I will.

I think the advice given to just let my wife run the show is probably what I'll do, at least for this first time. My wife likes me to take charge and be aggressive generally, but that could cause problems here, so even if it's a bit more boring, it's safer, and less likely to cause jealousy issues. None of the three of us have done this before, and neither my wife or this other girl have been with another girl, so this is going to be a learning experience for all involved.

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

Is that is what you guys want to do then have fun, just keep in mind that by taking the plunge in to fulfilling this fantasy it opens the door (by setting a marital precedent) for her to ask for other fantasies to be fulfilled. Will you be OK if she wanted a threesome with you and another man? Even if is M/F/M and not F/M/M or a Gangbang?

Have you set limits as to what are the expectations with this scenario? Like Tehdbare said once done it cant be undone.

I am too possessive so I would never share my man. I have seen to many marriages fall to the wayside due to this. Trust is really hard to keep after you have seen each other share with others. Good luck!