Threesome coming up. What the hell do I do!

[jstane45 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jstane45]

Clearly she is going to grow attachment.

Women want what they don't have more than anything else in life. The only reason why this has been a success up until now, is that your woman knows these other women want you, and she has you. The moment you felt like you wanted to leave your wife or wanted to be alone with another woman, it would be all over buddy. So make sure your feelings for your wife are in check and you don't fuck around, or you'll spoil what seems to be, for you, a good thing.

That girl is attached already. She probably is single, and if she hasn't had a steady relationship since you've started, probably never will until she is hurt by you, or your wife.

Sex is a wondrous thing, especially if you do it well. Women will want it and need it and fight for it. I am with L4M, I have never had the fantasy of being with more than one woman, especially if one of them is in a committed relationship with me.

Because I still don't fucking understand women and to think I want two of them in my life? Fuck that shit dude. If it was a one time thing at a party and two friends said, hey, we want to fuck you and no strings attached, it might sit in my mind for consideration longer, but I usually don't bare myself to any woman I'm not emotionally attached to.

But clearly, the woman is getting feelings. They are different than us. Sexual relations eventually gives them emotional attachments unless it's done out of spite, or negativity. Women will fuck to fuck over and not feel a single thing, like fucking a guy after getting dumped, or fucking a guy when they've been cheated on, but when they are fucking a guy for fun, pleasure and regularly, they grow feelings.

I hope things work out for you, and what that means is basically it will eventually have to end with this woman. Because not only is she not getting what she wants, which will be you if it isn't already, for herself, but you're also not allowing her to find it somewhere else.

So tread cautiously.

Yeah, you're definitely right. But it's okay for now, so I'm happy. It's always been agreed that she can go get a boyfriend anytime, and there would be no hard feelings, but I didn't want to be having sex with her if she's dating. This might indicate she's starting to want relationship type stuff, so maybe it will be over soon. But that's okay, there are plenty of other girls.

[bumble Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bumble]

Yeah, you're definitely right. But it's okay for now, so I'm happy. It's always been agreed that she can go get a boyfriend anytime, and there would be no hard feelings, but I didn't want to be having sex with her if she's dating. This might indicate she's starting to want relationship type stuff, so maybe it will be over soon. But that's okay, there are plenty of other girls.

I don't want to use insults here, because I'm sure we are all here for advice and discussion with common ground. But because you know it's going to happen, cause this woman pain, and you're like, OH WELL, THERE'S OTHER GIRLS. That really seems like the worst attitude for someone to have in life. Completely selfish, detrimental to other humans and continuing it knowing it's causing others pain or hurt.

Just saying man. If it was you, or your friend, and everyone you know constantly getting hurt by people just using them for fun when they get emotions, you wouldn't feel the same.

This is the tamest possible way I could ever write how I feel. Because the truth would get me banned.

[jstane45 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jstane45]

I don't want to use insults here, because I'm sure we are all here for advice and discussion with common ground. But because you know it's going to happen, cause this woman pain, and you're like, OH WELL, THERE'S OTHER GIRLS. That really seems like the worst attitude for someone to have in life. Completely selfish, detrimental to other humans and continuing it knowing it's causing others pain or hurt.

Just saying man. If it was you, or your friend, and everyone you know constantly getting hurt by people just using them for fun when they get emotions, you wouldn't feel the same.

This is the tamest possible way I could ever write how I feel. Because the truth would get me banned.

Maybe you didn't read this entire thread. There's no pain to her involved here, and nobody is using anybody. It's a mutual thing. She's always known its just sex, and the boundaries have always been there.

PS: Shes also an adult, if that wasn't clear, and perfectly capable of making informed decisions.

[bumble Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bumble]

Maybe you didn't read this entire thread. There's no pain to her involved here, and nobody is using anybody. It's a mutual thing. She's always known its just sex, and the boundaries have always been there.

PS: Shes also an adult, if that wasn't clear, and perfectly capable of making informed decisions.

I did read the entire thread. And as others have stated, you've come up with a small hitch in the ride that has washed over, so you think.

You feel there is no pain to her involved here, but you can't know. And her asking to be alone with you, that's some huge evidence that there is emotions involved, not to mention her being single, and all the little rules you made together, were broken in the first night.

Sorry man, I don't mean to be the guy that points out the obvious and rains on your little parade you think you got going here, but your attitude is a little disgusting to me.

The fact that you say, this might indicate she has relationship type feelings and it might be over soon, then follow it with, but then we'll just end it and get another, is bullshit to me pal. Adult or no adult, people don't control their emotions. If you believe being an adult absolves you from anything they might think or do, you're wrong. That's the easy card out in life. You'd be a man to me if you stopped for a minute, thought, hey, maybe this girl is getting attached, and maybe most will who are single and really desire to be with me during this experience, so maybe I shouldn't do it if they are eventually going to get hurt?

But instead, you just use it as entertainment. It's okay for me now, so I'm happy. That's the easy way out, the selfish way. Fruitless fun for you, hey, she knew the rules? She's the idiot for getting feelings here, because it was something new for me, my wife and we had absolutely no experience to go off of, so we made silly little rules that didn't stand and now she's growing attachment to me, but she's an adult, she gets it, not my problem. But people will do crazy things for someone they desire. Like have their first threesome with a guy and his wife to get close to him, or her, or whatever.

There is no age on experience or wisdom my friend, you seem to be a clear example of that.

There is no age on emotion. Especially when it is a new experience for everyone, who have never dealt with the ramifications. Have no clue what to do, or how. So hopefully you learn from this and make a better decision than just, that's okay, there are plenty of other girls.

Age has nothing to do with it.

[ThinJohnny Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ThinJohnny]

jstane45, I haven't read the whole thread yet. You may have talked about this already, but what do you think your wife's interest is in the threesomes? It's not hard to figure out what's in it for you, but do you think your wife's primary interest is playing with the other girls or watching you and the other girls go at it?

She must be pretty strong to be able to handle this. Is she not a jealous person, in general?

[jstane45 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jstane45]

Bumble, I think you're reading way too much into my saying there are other girls. Basically, if she's now looking for a relationship, she's free to get a boyfriend. My wife and I can find another girl to replace her, but that doesn't mean we're discarding her or that she's not special to us. She's a great friend and will always be, and if she wants to remove the sex from the friendship then that's fine if that's what she wants to be happy.

And remember, it's still only speculation that she wants something more with me. Could have been that she just wants a good night of sex, so far she can't seem to get enough. But it's a good subject for further discussion with her, because despite your opinion of me, if she is becoming attached, yet sticking around because she's hooked on the sex, then that's a situation that could leave her feeling hurt, and I would rather end it before her emotions deepened. Maybe check back in for an update after I talk with her about what really prompted her request.

Thinjohnny, can't remember if I wrote about that in the thread or not. It has become lengthy at this point, which is also why it may be hard for some to read the entire thing while also correctly interpreting the nature of the relationships. I would say its turned out to be equally both. She wanted to experiment with another girl, as well as watch me with another. She doesn't have any jealousy issues when it's done with her blessing, and also for her mutual enjoyment.

[Roguish75 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Roguish75]

I only read as far as your rules and IMO they are horrible.

no kissing? The most basic act of intimacy ?

no sleeping in the bed ? This girl is giving you a gift and your reward is an empty bed?

sorry, I've been in lots of threesomes, none of that would have made anyone happy. Believe it or not threesomes aren't just about mechanical sex, they are about intimacy. It's about double the attention and double the psychic energy. It's MORE.

Ive never had a threesome complicate my primary relationship or have any blowback, and I was going to give you advice from that perspective.

Sure are you two don't just need a blow up doll ?

[heretohelp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close heretohelp]

Threesomes sound like tricky business. There needs to be the strongest bond between two out of the three people, yet there are another potential two pairings there waiting to be tempted by the sexual connection. I can't say I've not ever been tempted by the idea of one, however, only whilst I've been single. I think of it this way - would you be willing to have one with another man so that your wife can enjoy sex with someone other than you as well? It sounds like she's mostly heterosexual and just having a play around with the idea of not being. Would it be different if it was someone she was aroused by sexually as she is aroused by you?

[Knoblin Banned, Troll Find all posts View Profile Close Knoblin]

Threesomes sound like tricky business. There needs to be the strongest bond between two out of the three people, yet there are another potential two pairings there waiting to be tempted by the sexual connection. I can't say I've not ever been tempted by the idea of one, however, only whilst I've been single. I think of it this way - would you be willing to have one with another man so that your wife can enjoy sex with someone other than you as well? It sounds like she's mostly heterosexual and just having a play around with the idea of not being. Would it be different if it was someone she was aroused by sexually as she is aroused by you?

[mcpecker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mcpecker]

I also am having trouble with my 9 inch dick and having too many threesomes / foursomes. Also, too much money and too handsome. Also, I think my boat is too big...should I sell my big ass boat? Again, I don't need the money.

Sorry to hijack the thread, help would be appreciated.

[Koh Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Koh]

I was just in my first threesome today. It helps to find people you can be comfortable around. We just went with the flow. Had a great time.

[jstane45 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jstane45]

I only read as far as your rules and IMO they are horrible.

no kissing? The most basic act of intimacy ?

no sleeping in the bed ? This girl is giving you a gift and your reward is an empty bed?

sorry, I've been in lots of threesomes, none of that would have made anyone happy. Believe it or not threesomes aren't just about mechanical sex, they are about intimacy. It's about double the attention and double the psychic energy. It's MORE.

Ive never had a threesome complicate my primary relationship or have any blowback, and I was going to give you advice from that perspective.

Sure are you two don't just need a blow up doll ?

It's quite something to level criticism while also admitting that you haven't even read the entire thread. If you would read further you would see that the rules were only preliminary, only intended to break the ice and create a comfortable start, and then be revised later. Those revisions have happened, and it's going great...really, really great.

You would also see, should you read further, that it's going great enough to have regular visits from a girl-girl couple, in addition to the original girl. This past weekend we also added another girl, something I haven't mentioned yet, because I haven't been here.

But honestly, this thread is becoming tiresome and old. To those that participate in the discussion, whether by way of legitimate advice, or honest questions, I appreciate your responses very much. But unfortunately, an IQ test is not a prerequisite to posting a reply here, so the thread has become congested with off topic, irrational, and ill-informed "advice." I still respond, as time allows, to benefit other members that come here for advice, not to rebut the members making posts such as these. But truthfully, my patience wears thin here, and I have too many other draws on my time to be spending it responding to pseudo advice and critics.

I only recently re-visited this site after my business life left me otherwise occupied, and I must say, the quality of input from members, and the intent behind them, has degraded significantly. For that reason, I'm happy to declare right now that I won't be returning here. My time is better spent elsewhere. I did my PE, got a little advice from the [respectable] members here, and I can't see any reason to maintain my presence. So provide whatever responses you like, but I won't be here to read them. I log off now. Good luck to you all.

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

Your going to hell fornicator!!!!!!

Just kidding!! LOL Play it by ear,,,,ask your gal what would be crossing the line. If she doesn't like any of it: ABORT! No better way to ruin a relationship other than to have a third person. Just remember: Two's company, and Three's a crowd. They didn't come up with that saying for nothin'! :-) Have fun!!

[MichaelJackson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MichaelJackson]

Best of luck to you too, jstane.

This whole experience will certainly make me think twice before levelling quick-fire criticisms at anonymous strangers on the internet.

Peace

[wellshii Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close wellshii]

Sounds awesome.Too bad we could never see those big dong pics.lol