Deeply Depressed

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

DW say it isn't so, you are one of my favorite people here. As other had said you can't control her insecurities but you can control your reaction to it.

I think some of the funk is your hormones since you started working out, changed your nutrition and overall started to improve your life. Ironically that sometimes makes your body go crazy for a few weeks and the immune system takes a hit. Hang though and this too shall pass. I think the issue with your girlfriend requires a sit down, you should not be paying for others mistake and as mature adults that should be something you can discuss. Good luck to you and keep up the good work for your health.

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

DW say it isn't so, you are one of my favorite people here. As other had said you can't control her insecurities but you can control your reaction to it.

I think some of the funk is your hormones since you started working out, changed your nutrition and overall started to improve your life. Ironically that sometimes makes your body go crazy for a few weeks and the immune system takes a hit. Hang though and this too shall pass. I think the issue with your girlfriend requires a sit down, you should not be paying for others mistake and as mature adults that should be something you can discuss. Good luck to you and keep up the good work for your health.

Thank you Mrslookingformore. That sounded so nice.......at least the "favorite" part (lol) Was very sweet of you. You may be right about the hormones,,,,,,,,I'm not having my time of the month, but I may be suffering from the fish tank effect (when you put your hand in the gravel and swish!! What a mess). It is so very hard to control my reactions sometimes,,,,because I'm caught up in the heat of battle and caught up being a human being. ;-)

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Yeah DW, I remember that thread too. And your follow up thread about it.

I don't know how much I can add to the great advice above, but I'll say that I agree that you are a good guy, and we like you just how you are.

Sometimes one of the downsides of being a good guy is one of it's best qualities, that caring. People will say just to not care so much, but that's like saying don't be DW so much. It's part of who you are. And a great part at that, so why would you want to change that?

Whether people like that or appreciate it will always be a question for good guys. I guess the trick is to just be happy and positive that you are a good guy, and that being that way makes you feel good about yourself, even if others don't appreciate it fully. You shouldn't stop putting yourself out there, just stop expecting people to meet you half way. It won't always happen.

Maybe they choose not to, or maybe they can't. Doesn't matter, because maybe that's what makes you different in a good way. Just make sure you know when enough is enough, and keep on being you.

How about a high five?

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

The other morning, our kitchen sink was clogged and I had put draino in the sink and then filled it with water,,,,,it was standing water nearly the depth of the sink. We got up early,,,,I did tell her the sink situation earlier. When we got to the sink she attempted to put the coffee maker into the standing water,,,,,,,,I yelled out to her to stop......she took this as me telling her she can't do anything right and then twisted it into 20 different directions that I couldn't find my way out of her maze of insanity. Such trivial things set her off into a collision course with me,,,,,and I cannot explain my way out of it,,,,,and no type of reasoning will suffice.

Arrrg! Women. Having mood swings, and issues, and sometimes being irritable. Gosh, you'd think they are real people sometimes.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

Ill pm later but wanted to say I was with a barker " that's just the way I talk" well guess what lower your effin voice out your hands down and confirm to those around you.
To this day I am hyper sensitive to all people who get too excited when they speak. If they can't control it I shut them out of my life.

If you want to bark date a fellow Brooklynite :-)

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

Once again to all, everyone, each and everyone of you: Thank you. Also, it seems that some of these comments have turned to kudos,,,,,,so now I will try my coconut oil on my head so that I will be able to get it thru the door!! You guys are all great and don't worry, I accept the wonderful comments as well as criticisms. -----and I won't let them spoil me....EVER!! :-)

[jedimaster Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jedimaster]

Misconception is a pain in the butt

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Somebody PLEASE kick my ass!!!

My Darling Dick Whammy,

There is nothing wrong with indulging in a little "pity party" from time to time; it's a way of self-nurturing. The challenge is not get stuck there.

Now maybe you're feeling down because of the various physical changes you're currently going through or perhaps, it is simply the "January Blah's." In fact, today is known as Blue Monday in Canada - the most depressing day of the year- so maybe the polar vortex carried it all the way down in Florida.

OK, so you've asked for someone to kick your ass. Well as your friend, here I am to accept your challenge. Are you ready for a little tough love, my dear? OK, here we go...

If you find that you are repeating the same negative patterns over and over and over again - be it in your relationships or something else - it is because there is something positive that you are getting out of it. If you are in a continuous loop of self-sacrifice, then there is some personal benefit that you are receiving for doing so. If you want the negative pattern to truly stop, then the key is to determine what those emotional/psychological reasons are and find better, more productive ways to achieve them. Ways that will not leave you angry, frustrated, sad and emotionally drained as a result.

Remember my friend, we are not victims, in fact we have far more personal power than we often realize. The question is not whether you can stop the negativity, but whether you will. And that choice is yours and yours alone, my friend.

OK DW, tough love session is over....who needs a big hug?

[kirkoloft Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kirkoloft]

DW, a lot of great men are depressed and you are one of the greatest guys I've had the pleasure of being friends with. Seriously, men like you are the reason I'm happy to be a man. Men like you are often not appreciated, but for god's sake, don't change the way you are for anybody...Well, I didn't want to do it ,but WTH you asked for it...I'm not into ass kicking, however, I'm a black belt bitch slapper...I'm here if you need me.

[Mrs. workin_4_it Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mrs. workin_4_it]

Now that I'm done kicking your ass......

It is normal to be down on yourself. For every negative thought you have about yourself, think of two positive things. I know it's difficult to change how you feel/think of yourself, but you are the only one that can change how you feel.

You have much to be thankful for. Just remember that you are a great person, smile and don't worry so much.

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

How about a good Spanking instead of butt kicking ? Would you prefer a solid paddle, one with holes in it, a ping pong paddle with inverted nipples ? We'll all have fun, I promise!

Solid paddle please,,,,,,I don't want my ass looking like swiss cheese! LOL

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

DW, a lot of great men are depressed and you are one of the greatest guys I've had the pleasure of being friends with. Seriously, men like you are the reason I'm happy to be a man. Men like you are often not appreciated, but for god's sake, don't change the way you are for anybody...Well, I didn't want to do it ,but WTH you asked for it...I'm not into ass kicking, however, I'm a black belt bitch slapper...I'm here if you need me.

WOW. I feel like I inhaled steam as I read this kirkoloft. Your words are very uplifting to say the very least. I'm honored to be your friend also and make you feel this way. Such a wonderful way to start my day. I realize that I should always start my days with good thoughts such as you have given me. :-) Thank you again.

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

My Darling Dick Whammy,

There is nothing wrong with indulging in a little "pity party" from time to time; it's a way of self-nurturing. The challenge is not get stuck there.

Now maybe you're feeling down because of the various physical changes you're currently going through or perhaps, it is simply the "January Blah's." In fact, today is known as Blue Monday in Canada - the most depressing day of the year- so maybe the polar vortex carried it all the way down in Florida.

OK, so you've asked for someone to kick your ass. Well as your friend, here I am to accept your challenge. Are you ready for a little tough love, my dear? OK, here we go...

If you find that you are repeating the same negative patterns over and over and over again - be it in your relationships or something else - it is because there is something positive that you are getting out of it. If you are in a continuous loop of self-sacrifice, then there is some personal benefit that you are receiving for doing so. If you want the negative pattern to truly stop, then the key is to determine what those emotional/psychological reasons are and find better, more productive ways to achieve them. Ways that will not leave you angry, frustrated, sad and emotionally drained as a result.

Remember my friend, we are not victims, in fact we have far more personal power than we often realize. The question is not whether you can stop the negativity, but whether you will. And that choice is yours and yours alone, my friend.

OK DW, tough love session is over....who needs a big hug?

You are right TPW. There is something here in my relationship that makes me stay. In fact I can think of several things. First, I do love my gal. On a clear day when I can see forever, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. This is very clear in my relationship. On another note, I'm happy having a relationship. I'd rather NOT be single, but in a perfect world I would love my woman to be sincere, honest and giving of herself just as I am. I'm not asking for a clone, nor do I want to change her or fix her,,,,,just want her to be understanding to say the least. We've got an age difference of 17 years, we were both (obviously) brought up in different times and in different ways. This makes a difference. I don't want to get into and pick on the small details, we all have our little quirky stuff that varies day to day,,,,,I call it living life. But upbringing and education clearly play a big part in how a person perceives things is their life.

Well let me get back on track and say "thank you TPW!!!" Your words are uplifting. You've also made me see things a tad more clearly because you've also hit the nail on the head so to speak with your concise (and loverly) way of talking. Thank you Dear!!!! :-)

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

Now that I'm done kicking your ass......

It is normal to be down on yourself. For every negative thought you have about yourself, think of two positive things. I know it's difficult to change how you feel/think of yourself, but you are the only one that can change how you feel.

You have much to be thankful for. Just remember that you are a great person, smile and don't worry so much.

Don't be ascared! You can kick harder!! LOL

You are right......it is very difficult to change,,,,,if not impossible to even conceive it mentally. But once again,,,,you are right. I like the "think of two positive things" method!!!! I'm gonna give that a try when I get frustrated. Thank you MW4I!!!! (I'm smilin' at ya,,,,,,can ya see!!!!!)

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

Solid paddle please,,,,,,I don't want my ass looking like swiss cheese! LOL

How about a paddle with the word LOVE carved on it? No swiss cheese, just a nice loving touch. Yum!