Well, I guess I'm due for this post. Believe it or not, It has nothing to do with the size of my dick.
After my relationship with my last ex of 17 years, I started renewing myself,,,,,,,getting in shape, lifting, and above all else---PE'ing. I had someone new that I was interested in too and that helped bridge the gap. I was really shot to hell at the very end of that relationship, but the thought of "promise" and my new gal, energized me and gave me the power to leap into being happy and myself once again. I really though that the PE'ing was gonna change my life as far as my confidence and security. Well it really did!!! It lessened the burden of possible things that could make my life less than successful. Well here I am with my big dick and a bunch of woes that are dragging me down like body armour made of cast iron.
After unloading my pity on a friend via text this morning,,,,she told me two things. These things I already knew, but sometimes it takes hearing them several dozen times for it to sink in. First she told me that no one else is responsible for my happiness but me. This is TRUE - I knew and know it. Also,,,,,I am a person that is more concerned with the happiness of everyone else OVER myself. This I know and knew also.
I'm not one to have pity parties on a regular basis. We all need a shoulder and an ear occassionally to help us recover from feeling down and out. I don't feel wrong for posting this, because I know some of my real friends will surface and either KICK MY ASS for being down or say consoling stuff that will help me get over this. Either way, communicating with our friends is important.
Now I'm gonna tell you what lit a firecracker under my ass to share all this stuff with you. I was previously reading the post about Nice guy and bad boy. Well, I guess I'm a nice or good guy.......not a freaking doormat,,,,but someone that cares about others. I just don't know how "NOT TO CARE". Okay, maybe not getting involved in the first place is a way not to care,,,,,,but my biggest self issue is that I have a hard time understanding how the people you care about can just "not care about you". Even when they say they do. Communicating with others is something that kinda always has been in my life,,,,as a person,,,,as a designer,,,,as a human being. I take that kinda info to heart,,,,not just in passing. So I get hurt alot and most of it is my fault. This is related to the penis size/bad boy type of concerns that people have. It's the crap within us that manifests itself. It's the ONE FRIGGIN sentance that our GF's say that TWIST us the wrong friggin way!!!!
Several times this week,,,,my GF and I "collided". She thinks I'm attacking her CONSTANTLY. I'm not. I'm from Brooklyn and maybe sound a bit aggressive. So she is always defensive. The fact that her ex's were scumbags (controlling, lying, cheating bastards) doesn't help. But she will NEVER give in to the fact of being conditioned from her past......so I get the blunt end of the shovel. So, the stress and change in weather,,,,,feeling sick,,,,and working out with weights again (knocking the crap our of me physically),,,,,I've got this horrible depression in me and I'm trying to shake it. Changed my eating habits too,,,,,,so I've got a bunch of things that are obviously headbutting on this end,,,,but the outcome is that I am feeling so beatup. Somebody PLEASE kick my ass!!!
After my relationship with my last ex of 17 years, I started renewing myself,,,,,,,getting in shape, lifting, and above all else---PE'ing. I had someone new that I was interested in too and that helped bridge the gap. I was really shot to hell at the very end of that relationship, but the thought of "promise" and my new gal, energized me and gave me the power to leap into being happy and myself once again. I really though that the PE'ing was gonna change my life as far as my confidence and security. Well it really did!!! It lessened the burden of possible things that could make my life less than successful. Well here I am with my big dick and a bunch of woes that are dragging me down like body armour made of cast iron.
After unloading my pity on a friend via text this morning,,,,she told me two things. These things I already knew, but sometimes it takes hearing them several dozen times for it to sink in. First she told me that no one else is responsible for my happiness but me. This is TRUE - I knew and know it. Also,,,,,I am a person that is more concerned with the happiness of everyone else OVER myself. This I know and knew also.
I'm not one to have pity parties on a regular basis. We all need a shoulder and an ear occassionally to help us recover from feeling down and out. I don't feel wrong for posting this, because I know some of my real friends will surface and either KICK MY ASS for being down or say consoling stuff that will help me get over this. Either way, communicating with our friends is important.
Now I'm gonna tell you what lit a firecracker under my ass to share all this stuff with you. I was previously reading the post about Nice guy and bad boy. Well, I guess I'm a nice or good guy.......not a freaking doormat,,,,but someone that cares about others. I just don't know how "NOT TO CARE". Okay, maybe not getting involved in the first place is a way not to care,,,,,,but my biggest self issue is that I have a hard time understanding how the people you care about can just "not care about you". Even when they say they do. Communicating with others is something that kinda always has been in my life,,,,as a person,,,,as a designer,,,,as a human being. I take that kinda info to heart,,,,not just in passing. So I get hurt alot and most of it is my fault. This is related to the penis size/bad boy type of concerns that people have. It's the crap within us that manifests itself. It's the ONE FRIGGIN sentance that our GF's say that TWIST us the wrong friggin way!!!!
Several times this week,,,,my GF and I "collided". She thinks I'm attacking her CONSTANTLY. I'm not. I'm from Brooklyn and maybe sound a bit aggressive. So she is always defensive. The fact that her ex's were scumbags (controlling, lying, cheating bastards) doesn't help. But she will NEVER give in to the fact of being conditioned from her past......so I get the blunt end of the shovel. So, the stress and change in weather,,,,,feeling sick,,,,and working out with weights again (knocking the crap our of me physically),,,,,I've got this horrible depression in me and I'm trying to shake it. Changed my eating habits too,,,,,,so I've got a bunch of things that are obviously headbutting on this end,,,,but the outcome is that I am feeling so beatup. Somebody PLEASE kick my ass!!!
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