Burty's confessional

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

I just lit a candle. Does that make it better?

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

I blame myself for my children's illnesses. My poor life style over the years screwed up my DNA. And now they suffer for my bad life choices. And of course, I suffer with them.

Party your putting to much weight on your shoulders, we cant keep putting this burden on our shoulders like your doing, time to take a deep breath and let go of it.

Something is coming that will help you.

NOWHARD

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

I just lit a candle. Does that make it better?

No its burning my bum, and that's an explosive area to be around with a bloody lit candle.

NOWHARD

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Whenever I go for a drink, I end up having more vodka than a Russian mobster in the hopes that it gives me enough courage to speak to someone, but it never works

What say you, father?

Well, I say you are talking to me right now, so step into the confessional and don't forget the vodka!

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

Well, I say you are talking to me right now, so step into the confessional and don't forget the vodka!

Huh. Do you have a vagina?

If not, I meant a specific kind of someone I'm afraid.

You can still have some vodka though

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

It's been four weeks since my last orgasm.

Forgive me father because since then I have pleasured my wife at least 15 times by tricking her into a back rub and then sliding my my dick in from the spoon position. I also brought her to orgasm four times using oral. I feel guilty and ask for your forgiveness.

Forgiveness you need, but first go into a little more detail about the back rub technique? Does you think it works on grumpy nuns??

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Huh. Do you have a vagina?

Nope, but I got a deck of cards and a wedge of cash from the poor box.

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

Nope, but I got a deck of cards and a wedge of cash from the poor box.

I just so happen to know my way around poker.

That would get me to forget about women for a while, maybe some money could get me to feel a bit better

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

I just so happen to know my way around poker.

That would get me to forget about women for a while, maybe some money could get me to feel a bit better

Sweet! Deal me in...

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

Sweet! Deal me in...

Huh, I was expecting you'd just tell me to whack it for 30 mins more while edging cause I can't speak to women, but here we are playing poker.

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

Forgiveness you need, but first go into a little more detail about the back rub technique? Does you think it works on grumpy nuns??

It normally works on anyone with a Vagina unless they are wearing a chastity belt

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Boy. I wish I could find my funny again. It just eludes me right now.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

I fuck nasty girls.

I need to stop fucking nasty girls.

Nasty girls don't deserve this banana.

No they do not!

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

I fuck nasty girls.

I need to stop fucking nasty girls.

Nasty girls don't deserve this banana.

No they do not!

So stop then. Hello?

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

So stop then. Hello?

Don't you know where I live? Hello!!!!!