Low libido guy at 25 what to do?

[Perplexed34 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Perplexed34]

I discovered this forum some time ago and I wanted to seek a solution to my erectile dysfunction(ED) problem and low libido here. I am a 25 years-old, athletic, lean guy who is pursuing a master's degree in electronics engineering. I extended the duration of my master's and this can count as the biggest stressor in my life. Apart from that I live an active lifestyle as I go to gym regularly, dance and sail. I do not sit at home much.

As a adolescent I was active sexually and I used to masturbate 2-3 times per day to porn. I usually preferred the hardcore variety and after high speed ADSL came I switched to videos. I am providing explicit detail here as I think the condition of porn-induced erectile dysfunction(PIED) is real. Those times I had no problem getting spontaneous erections and even thinking of a girl was enough to get me going let alone being near a girl I fancy.

My problem of ED and low libido began after using some SSRI antidepressants prescribed by my psychiatrist for coping with anxiety and irritable bowel syndrome. I used various types of SSRIs and started seeing different mental counselors after I thought they were of no help. I was on and off these drugs for like the last 5 years and I used one of the drugs without a break for around a year until I met my ex-girlfriend.

Before meeting her I was using escorts and porn to satisfy my sexual urges. Also note that I was pretty shy and I used to be a virgin till the age of 22. My first sexual experience with an escort was not great either. I was only able to cum after manually stimulating myself. I also experienced similar problems with my first and only girlfriend as I was not able to penetrate her in a duration of 1.5 month in which we were sexually active. She really got offended by it and dumped me. I literally had to masturbate near her to orgasm. Also I experienced serious ED and this was also prevalent before the clothes came off. I was not getting as hard as I used to. Furthermore I was not able to cum much and further as I used to in my adolescence.

Now my sexual drive is even lower and I am abstaining from viewing porn and masturbating as I suspect PIED. Even after 6 days of total abstinence I cannot feel any buildup, erections and orgasms are weak. There are no wet dreams either. I have seen two urologists on this topic and they suggested blood tests. The test results were really good and my free and bound testosterone levels were close to the high end of the spectrum. I then decided to wait until I complete 90 days of abstinence from masturbation with porn. However, I cannot see much progress and I am afraid that I am losing my sexual competence and this also drives me away from girls. Also note that I have been off SSRIs for 10 months.

I really wonder if there is someone else who is experiencing similar things and I am open to any suggestion you can provide. I posted this thread here as I did not know where it will fit.

[popol5169 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close popol5169]

https://www.pegym.com/forums/erectile-dysfunction-forum/80737-%7Eimportant%7E-drugs-may-cause-e-d-read-before-posting-new-thread.html

http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic...l-dysfunction/

Drugs & supplements to permanently Increase Libido ? - Mental Health - LONGECITY

These links may be worth a read.

[Ravenously Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ravenously]

SSRIs are notorious for causing sexual issues. Unfortunately, many mental health professionals are unsympathetic to these issues. Mention your problem with your perscriber, perhaps a change to welbutrin would help. It has less sexual side effects. You could also try a drug free method of dealing with depression. There are also some new drugs for anxiety and depression that work on GABA signaling. They may be able to help you.

Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. Doctors are neither Gods nor Geniuses.
Good luck.

[perpetuus Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close perpetuus]

Hi man, I was/is in the same boat (but improving greatly). Are you lifting weights?
I recommend starting lifting weights with a progressive overload if you aren't.
If you want to boost your virility and explosive strength (slightly), I would recommend Tongkat ali in addition to a strict lifting regime with compound movements (don't skip leg day, squats are key). Tongkat actually works and you can get it cheaply within the US.
I am no physician, but it is working for me. I also recommend taking citrulline malate and agmatine to boost your blood circulation (also good for lifting). Creatine is also essential to serious lifting and is the most researched supplement there is. With this regime along with a good program (3-4 times a week), you will gain strength and size fast and feel more powerful/masculine, which will contribute to a healthy libido.
You can also try to take ZMA before bed (zinc, magnesium, b6 supplement), it can give you a deeper sleep if you are deficient in magnesium (the most important mineral) and the zinc gives me crazy hard random erections.
If you need help with a training program / nutrition plan, feel free to PM me and I'll hook you up for free (that goes for anyone here)
Serious weight training greatly improved my overall life quality and I recommend it to everyone.
Best wishes!

[Perplexed34 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Perplexed34]

https://www.pegym.com/forums/erectile-dysfunction-forum/80737-%7Eimportant%7E-drugs-may-cause-e-d-read-before-posting-new-thread.html

Supplements to reverse SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction? - Supplements - LONGECITY

Drugs & supplements to permanently Increase Libido ? - Mental Health - LONGECITY

These links may be worth a read.

Thanks I will definitely read those articles. I am not very eager to use supplements, but if this is the only solution so be it. I have been living like this for the last 3 years and it is really frustrating. I even lost a GF.

[Perplexed34 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Perplexed34]

SSRIs are notorious for causing sexual issues. Unfortunately, many mental health professionals are unsympathetic to these issues. Mention your problem with your perscriber, perhaps a change to welbutrin would help. It has less sexual side effects. You could also try a drug free method of dealing with depression. There are also some new drugs for anxiety and depression that work on GABA signaling. They may be able to help you.


Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. Doctors are neither Gods nor Geniuses.
Good luck.

Yes they are not sympathetic to these kind of issues especially when you do not have an active sexual life such as me. Unfortunately, Wellbutrin is no longer available in my country and I know it is a great medicine as I was using it when it was available. What is this GABA method by the way? Is a new mechanism through which medicines act?

[Zman007 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zman007]

Porn induced ED is real and it takes much longer than 6 days to see results. Given your situation yours sounds like it is more severe than mine was. When you first abstain from porn etc it can actually trigger a further decrease in libido, this is cyclic and can last months. Trust me, stick it out, it will get better. You'll have waves where your libido seems like it has returned, just to wake up the next day with zero, this takes months to overcome but gets better.

Here are a couple of things to do in addition to abstaining from porn, likely forever in your case, that will also help the situation.

Start a light Jelqing routine.
Masturbate to only physical stimulation. If you cannot achieve a hard erection, stop.
Never ejaculate without a full hard erection. Do not masturbate to Orgasm with a semi, this is disasterous.
Do not watch porn. Do not relapse.
Time. This process takes lots of time, I've been through it more than once... as porn is an addiction it can be tough to get rid of fully.


If you need a pep talk, shoot me a PM, I'd be happy to share more about my experiences.

[Perplexed34 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Perplexed34]

Hi man, I was/is in the same boat (but improving greatly). Are you lifting weights?
I recommend starting lifting weights with a progressive overload if you aren't.
If you want to boost your virility and explosive strength (slightly), I would recommend Tongkat ali in addition to a strict lifting regime with compound movements (don't skip leg day, squats are key). Tongkat actually works and you can get it cheaply within the US.
I am no physician, but it is working for me. I also recommend taking citrulline malate and agmatine to boost your blood circulation (also good for lifting). Creatine is also essential to serious lifting and is the most researched supplement there is. With this regime along with a good program (3-4 times a week), you will gain strength and size fast and feel more powerful/masculine, which will contribute to a healthy libido.
You can also try to take ZMA before bed (zinc, magnesium, b6 supplement), it can give you a deeper sleep if you are deficient in magnesium (the most important mineral) and the zinc gives me crazy hard random erections.
If you need help with a training program / nutrition plan, feel free to PM me and I'll hook you up for free (that goes for anyone here)
Serious weight training greatly improved my overall life quality and I recommend it to everyone.
Best wishes!

I am lifting weights with a different program. I follow the 5x5 lifting technique available on StrongLifts website for bench press, squat and deadlift and I have gained immense amount of strength and weight in quite a short time. I am prudent about using supplements as due to one of them my liver enzymes peaked in the past. I will see if I can get Tongkat in my country.

For the other supplements, minerals, vitamins I heard that you cannot take more than 40 mg per day. Am I right? I do not know citrulline malate and agmatine yet I will search for them. By the way throughout the day I feel really sleepy and no matter when I go to bed it is extremely hard for me to wake up in the morning. Are these issues a red-flag for a more serious condition? I used to have a lot of problems with stomach and I think some of the problems I experience can be related to malnutrition or something.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

Psychologically, sex is a complex issue. We want to be able to function perfectly for sex, but when stress, drugs, negative conditioning, and other factors interfere and the results are frustrating, this in itself has great effects on how the mind responds to the prospect of sex.

Consider severe performance anxiety. For men who used to think about sex without encumbrances, these men unwillingly and subconsciously condition themselves to view the prospect of sex as something negative. The mind is efficient, but reversing negative condition is possible though it will take work.

You can condition your mind to deal with the subject of sex ion a positive fashion- even when there are interfering factors. In mild cases of performance anxiety auto-suggestions and visualizations- along with conditioning exercises (manual to live) will be effective.

In severe cases, there may be underlying psychological issues which might require attention before anything else.

[closed260 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed260]

I wasn't there, so I don't know, but it may be possible that the trouble with your EX was not entirely ED. I say this so that you can defuse some of the anxiety around being able to perform.

It may be possible that what she had difficulty with was less the ED than an overwhelming negative mood that may have decended on sexual encounters like a bad fart. Think of it like this, some couples could be getting ready to make love, and have some catastrophe like the smoke alarm goes off or some bathroom/kitchen water pipe bursts. An unhealthy reaction would be to get upset about it and leave the upset-ness as the dominate (and only) emotion for the evening. A healthier reaction would be to macgyver things back together as best as possible, then re-engage with a joke (like "yar, me boat sprung a leak, and now she plugged, but i've got another plug for you!"). If the erection doesn't work out right away at the first instant, you still have two hands and a tongue.

Next, it may have been because she wasn't rigth for you, with or without sex. The ED was just her stated reason for moving on. You deserve a woman who wants to be with you. It may take some time, but you have to be willing to test things out with a few gals before you find the right one. It goes the same for them, they face the same risk of rejection, and the same opportunity for finding a great partner. Remember that "vulnerability is sexy", because it takes great confidence to let someone know your difficulties in life (and we all have some). So when the time next comes, don't fear sharing a quick mention that there some history of ED. Keep you your attitude "enthusiastic" about all the great things that could play out. If she is isn't interested, that's ok, just move on to the next girl.

[popol5169 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close popol5169]

I'm no doc, but you used ssri for 5 years and started experiencing ED and libido problems with them, so I would look more into solutions to this problem in particular. Good advice has already been given but I doubt porn is the culprit, it sure does not help and is quite a loss of time anyway, so quitting it should be positive.

[tomasssss Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close tomasssss]

totally agree with Zman, PIED takes months to recover fully. Also the use of antidepressants certainly didn't help.

Take it easy and be patient

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

I'm no doc, but you used ssri for 5 years and started experiencing ED and libido problems with them, so I would look more into solutions to this problem in particular. Good advice has already been given but I doubt porn is the culprit, it sure does not help and is quite a loss of time anyway, so quitting it should be positive.

Porn is a variable. To some men it affects them little; for others, a lot. He stated he masturbated 2-3 times a day to porn. Even in someone with a very high libido this can't have any long term positive or even neutral result.

[Perplexed34 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Perplexed34]

I wasn't there, so I don't know, but it may be possible that the trouble with your EX was not entirely ED. I say this so that you can defuse some of the anxiety around being able to perform.

It may be possible that what she had difficulty with was less the ED than an overwhelming negative mood that may have decended on sexual encounters like a bad fart. Think of it like this, some couples could be getting ready to make love, and have some catastrophe like the smoke alarm goes off or some bathroom/kitchen water pipe bursts. An unhealthy reaction would be to get upset about it and leave the upset-ness as the dominate (and only) emotion for the evening. A healthier reaction would be to macgyver things back together as best as possible, then re-engage with a joke (like "yar, me boat sprung a leak, and now she plugged, but i've got another plug for you!"). If the erection doesn't work out right away at the first instant, you still have two hands and a tongue.

Next, it may have been because she wasn't rigth for you, with or without sex. The ED was just her stated reason for moving on. You deserve a woman who wants to be with you. It may take some time, but you have to be willing to test things out with a few gals before you find the right one. It goes the same for them, they face the same risk of rejection, and the same opportunity for finding a great partner. Remember that "vulnerability is sexy", because it takes great confidence to let someone know your difficulties in life (and we all have some). So when the time next comes, don't fear sharing a quick mention that there some history of ED. Keep you your attitude "enthusiastic" about all the great things that could play out. If she is isn't interested, that's ok, just move on to the next girl.

I was in the process of quitting SSRIs when I first had sex with my girlfriend and due to that very reason I experienced ED. She was very unhappy with the situation and took it as if I did not fancy her at all and cried. Certainly this reaction of hers has a role in my perception and reaction to the situation. I was much more relaxed than her actually and I made fun of it, yet it was really hard to persuade her that it was due to medications. I have hands and a tongue, but she refrained me from using them except a few instances.

Her being right for me or not is an entirely different story as you have already remarked. She did not state ED, yet the sex was a complete disaster for her as far as I presume. Actually she ghosted on me and I tried to confront her but failed. Damn I acted really silly as it was my first girlfriend and I was devastated for some time after the relationship ended.

I think that girls have it a lot easier than men when it comes to finding a partner. Apart from this I agree with you that people should experiment relationships before jumping directly into them. I am very reserved about discussing this topic with a prospective girlfriend as I do not have many opportunities to get a girlfriend or someone to move on.

[Perplexed34 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Perplexed34]

Porn is a variable. To some men it affects them little; for others, a lot. He stated he masturbated 2-3 times a day to porn. Even in someone with a very high libido this can't have any long term positive or even neutral result.

So I think then porn is the culprit here. I must abstain from any kind of porn or porn substitutes. I used to masturbate 2-3 times a day when I was like 15-16 years old. It probably took its toll on my sexual conditioning and now I am unable to approach girls or fancy most of them, which is a pity for a young man like me.

I also read your previous post in this thread and although I share some characteristics of performance anxiety I do not think this is the main reason. I can surpass these problems by taking a vasodilator pill such as Vardenafil.

I will be patient and wait for some months to recover. However, I have a prospective girlfriend and I am afraid that things might turn sour if the relationship progresses fast. Apart from that most urologists do not believe in PIED and they suggest injecting the penis with some chemical and observing its response. What do you think of this?