My girlfriend must be really frustrated!

[Fitetoend Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Fitetoend]

Hey everyone:

I have very bad premature ejaculation and its so bothersome now that I've found a girl that I really truly like. My case is pretty bad. Often times if i pump back and forth 20 or so times I feel like im gonna cum. Im talking maybe 1 to 2 minutes of non-stop sex. Ive read alot on these forums and I've tried alot of them. I edge all the time and do kegels, and have learned to not kegel during sex, yet no matter what I do i cant hold back my ejaculation.

I really feel that this might harm my relationship and make sex seem like such a bore for my girlfriend. I for one try to help as best I can. I always start out by eating her out and try to give her an orgasm and sometimes I do and then we have sex but often midway through she asks me to fuck her. So i get in and start going at it for a short period of time and then feel it coming, pull out and then go again. To delay it more I tell her to switch positions but only ones where I can control the speed. But then the problem is her favorite position is her on top. So she keeps asking me to lay down repeatedly, and then second I do and she controls the pace, i cum within 20 seconds or so. I have tried everything. Mentally staying below Point of no return, reverse kegeling, breathing, stop and starting, but no matter what I do I cum really really quick. Im at a loss, I dont know how to make sex desirable and exciting and intense for my girlfriend. At the moment whenever were done, which is really quick, I can sense a bit of frustration and sheer disappointment on her part.

[Flanker6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Flanker6]

Let me ask you this before I tell you anything. Are you able to have sex more than once in a row?

[Fitetoend Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Fitetoend]

Well flanker thats also very difficult. Me and her have very little time for privacy as I currently live at home and so does she. So often times we only have time for one go. Even if i have time for another, I feel very "unhorny" after and it would take me maybe close to an hour to get in the mood again and get an erection.

[Flanker6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Flanker6]

Well flanker thats also very difficult. Me and her have very little time for privacy as I currently live at home and so does she. So often times we only have time for one go. Even if i have time for another, I feel very "unhorny" after and it would take me maybe close to an hour to get in the mood again and get an erection.

Ah, I see. So not much time for foreplay and the end result feels rushed. That may be the problem is the stress of being at home, unless you've had this problem before even with out the stress of your parents walking in. Try to coordinate with her when your parents are going to be out of town or gone for the whole day. And just try an all day fuck session. Fuck, Lunch, Fuck, Dinner, Fuck, etc. By the third time you should be lasting quite a while. And I'm not saying everyone can go for it multiple times, but hell if I can (and I use to have borderline serious ED problems) then you can my friend. And don't psych yourself out either. That plays a big part, having the mentality that you're definitely going to prematurely ejaculate.

[Fitetoend Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Fitetoend]

Thanks flanker. Its just that not often do i get the chance for an all day "fuck session", and most of the time have just that one go and then that ends within that very short period of time. Its so frustrating because she says how shes so attracted to me and everything else is great, and then sex time comes and im done in 2 minutes. We do have a bit of foreplay. we kiss and makeout, I suck on her breasts and everything, eat her out. but the actual sex is done in no time as I mentioned.

[Fitetoend Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Fitetoend]

I have just heard people going for minutes on end, and going from position to position like its nothing, but I no matter what I do can not. She must think Im very bad in bed and this frustration im sure will eventually get to any girl.

[KungFuJoe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close KungFuJoe]

Do you find yourself subconsciously flexing your pc muscle during sex? That was a big deal for me...once I learned to control that it helped immensely. Flexing during sex will actually speed things up. Also reverse kegels are a huge help. I do them almost daily and even sometimes didn't sex. Search the forums for either of these concepts.

Also condoms help as well. I used to have to wear them to last for any significant amount of time. With training I can now last just about as long without condoms.

[Flanker6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Flanker6]

I have just heard people going for minutes on end, and going from position to position like its nothing, but I no matter what I do can not. She must think Im very bad in bed and this frustration im sure will eventually get to any girl.

Having PE doesn't mean you're bad in bed. Be happy that she wants it to last longer. I think she really cares about you so the worst thing you could do is ignore the problem. Talk to her about it. Not enough couple get their sex life out in the open, and I'm sure she would appreciate you acknowledging the problem and ready to deal with it. Also don't underestimate the power of your fingers!

[Fitetoend Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Fitetoend]

Haha thanks guys. Well kungfu I do not flex my PC, i acutally do reverse kegels as well during sex, but find that it lowers my erection quality doing that. We also do not use condoms. Flanker, How can someone be good at bed when they dont get a chance to show it, haha. She likes sex much more than oral, and keeps asking me to get inside. She also always asks to be on top which doesnt help either.

[Flanker6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Flanker6]

Haha thanks guys. Well kungfu I do not flex my PC, i acutally do reverse kegels as well during sex, but find that it lowers my erection quality doing that. We also do not use condoms. Flanker, How can someone be good at bed when they dont get a chance to show it, haha. She likes sex much more than oral, and keeps asking me to get inside. She also always asks to be on top which doesnt help either.

Eh, you can still be good at what you do with out sex. Next time during foreplay try hitting her G-spot with your fingers. This way your can simulate sex a bit and get her off, and trust me if you hit it right she won't have the breath or energy to say the word "sex". Then you can get it in afterwards and that may help alleviate some tension knowing that you've already gotten her off.

[matt1135 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close matt1135]

The thing i found that worked for me is masturbating then see how long you have to wait till you can get hard again then next time masturbate before you have sex sometimes it made it to where i cud go and never get off its all in the mind setting also took away that level of wanting it but don't let her since it at all! that made her feel like she did not satisfy me and made her want me even more kinda like manipulation also made her feel like she cant compete with me in bed i know its lieing so ppl STAY OFF my back its just a little lie but don't get caught plus ballooning as much as u can will help....when she is on top take your mind to a nasty place that helps plus relax every muscle in your body that helps me.also like kungfujoe said use condoms that will help allot just tell her that you wanna use them to last longer she should understand.

[Fitetoend Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Fitetoend]

I do ejaculate a few hours before sex sometimes but then I only have a chance to do it few hours before and even then, even then i cant go for that much longer, taking my mind elsewhere doesnt work. Its driving me crazy.

[The Holy Intruder Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Holy Intruder]

Late to the party and Flanker has already cleaned house. Excellent advice in every post. Listen to the man, Fiteoend. The only thing I can add is that if you want to lay everything out on the table and explain to her what's going on, you should not hesitate to tell her that she turns you on immensely. Tell her that she is so damn sexy it's hard to hold back for 5 seconds let alone 5 minutes. I've yet to meet a woman who doesn't like to hear how attractive you find her to be.

[Fitetoend Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Fitetoend]

Well as great as it might be for a girl to hear how much she turns me on, im sure she wants sex that can last more than 2 minutes. Flanker did give great advice, but explaining to her what the issue is would just make me that much more conscious the next time.

[blulite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close blulite]

there are several things you can do to solve your problem. this might be a long post so please bare with me and ill advise as best i can. having experienced premature ejaculation in the past i am in a position to speak from personal experience.

whet helped me was edging. you need to edge for an hour a day and learn to control yourself with kegles. dont use reverse kegles as the action does create a force as to push out fluids. talk to your girlfriend and discuss your problem. ask her if she will help you get better. the reason behind this is simple. when edging using just your hand, the feeling is completely different than when you are inside your gf. so what you do is when you and your gf get together, use your gf as an edging tool. the word use maybe slighhtly wrong but you see my point.

once your inside and thrusting, as you feel yourself building up slow down and be mindfull of your point of no return, you do not want to pass this threshold. control your ejaculation again by using kegles but also add withdrawing to the list. if you feel yourself building up towards your PONR, withdraw and allow 30 seconds or so for you to de-sensitize.

talking about this with your gf is a must, so she understands why your withdrawing and stopping. try to get yourselves some decent time alone as the lack of time often is a major factor in the develoment of premature ejaculation. your body becomes used to having quick sex and therefore it becomes natural to climax sooner. if your gf is willing to help with your recovery, then you need to discuss that if she wants an ass pounding, then would it be ok if you can spend a while just taking it easy and working on a future better sex life. im sure she will oblige especially as the more often you can practice this, the more often you will have sex and the sooner you will begin to notice the results.

there is nothing wrong with the occasional ass pounding during your recovery, but your gf needs to understand that if you continue as you are without any form of fixed recovery process then you will never overcome premature ejaculation.

make it a team effort and make it fun. vaginal edging is a much better form of recovery than using hands or toys will ever be. ive often read problems from guys who edge a lot and use fleshlites. yet when they have intercourse, they still suffer from the same premature issues. this is why i say discuss it with your gf and train yourself via vaginal edging. the feeling and arousal levels will be hightened and perfectly realistic.

you can still edge via masturbation for an hour a day during the recovery process so you dont have to worry too much about not geting enough privacy with your gf. the main thing you have to be though, is "true to yourself". take an hour and stick to it. dont allow yourself to ejaculate untill the hour is up. when your with your gf, explain to her that you aim to not ejaculate and that she should not be upset if you dont. there is no problem with her. its your problem because shes so hot and makes you so aroused that you just cant control yoursef, but now you want to be able to control yourself so you can be a better lover.

i can assure you that if you follow my advice you will notice results within a couple of weeks. be aware though that this is by no means a quick fix but a noticable difference is guarenteed. once you have a plan you need to stick to it 110% to overcome your problem as soon as your body can handle.

if you and your gf can get 30-60 mins together in private every day your recovery will be shortened a great deal. the main thing you have to consider is this must be a team effort and both of you must be comitted to the process. you need to discuss that regularity is the best solution so you guys need to agree on an increase in sexual activity and both of you must be comfortable with it. if you cant do every day, arrange to do it as often as possible for the next few months to help increase the chances of a swift recovery.

hope this helps.
john.

p.s start a log on here so we can follow your progress and offer any additional advice.

extras you can consider is the five G's, excersize and a healthy diet. which are often recommended to generally aid with any routine.