Committed to improvement

[iwillbeatit Member Find all posts View Profile Close iwillbeatit]

quick update from me:
the last 3 training sessions with stu 20min, 30min, 15min (the last was at a good fast speed in various positions) the 30min edging session was the best feeling i had since i startet. i have totally control of the situation, i played around with
rk to relax and not come to the ponr and then do a normal kegel to feel the ponr come and then do a rk again and relaese the pressure it worked fine..crazy feeling!
Need a few more of this session, now i understand how this should work out in real sex, bevor this session i cant believ anyone can have sex as long as he wants, now i believe it that really can work!
I noticed a trushing method where i go for 1min at a fast speed but almost all in, just move a little bit in an out, there i can relax and do an good rk, and i think i my wife will love this.

today i ordered a new stu, i am courious to try this new one..

everyday i am training rk, streches, yoga, and so on, i try to do as many rk as possible in my day (in the office, in the car...)

whats the news on your side?

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

quick update from me:
the last 3 training sessions with stu 20min, 30min, 15min (the last was at a good fast speed in various positions) the 30min edging session was the best feeling i had since i startet. i have totally control of the situation, i played around with
rk to relax and not come to the ponr and then do a normal kegel to feel the ponr come and then do a rk again and relaese the pressure it worked fine..crazy feeling!
Need a few more of this session, now i understand how this should work out in real sex, bevor this session i cant believ anyone can have sex as long as he wants, now i believe it that really can work!
I noticed a trushing method where i go for 1min at a fast speed but almost all in, just move a little bit in an out, there i can relax and do an good rk, and i think i my wife will love this.

today i ordered a new stu, i am courious to try this new one..

everyday i am training rk, streches, yoga, and so on, i try to do as many rk as possible in my day (in the office, in the car...)

whats the news on your side?

Great to hear! I’m glad you’re making progress and your confidence is building. For me, the first couple times I had sex after figuring out the RKs/breathing/loose pelvic floor techniques, I really had to be mentally focused at the beginning. It’s so easy to fall back into the old habit of holding my breath, tightening my pelvic floor, etc. Sometimes I even have to close my eyes so that I can stay focus and not get distracted. I take a deep breath, do some RKs, and then begin to have confidence because my body feels different, and I believe I won’t come right away.

I am still edging, RK/K, and stretching everyday. With my edging session, I can go at a fast pace right from the beginning now. I have to breathe - but now I do much fewer RKs. If after 10 minutes, I get distracted and go too fast for too long, I get near my PONR and it is challenging to get back to a plateau. I can RK, stop moving, and lower my arousal. But, if I start up again, I spike up to a 9.5 within one minute. So, that’s interesting.

Let me know how the new STU goes. That might be a good way to keep edging interesting. And, goo luck with your next real sex session. I believe that you are on a path to figure this out!

[TheR Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheR]

@Shikamaru I edged today after soaking the STU for 10 minutes. I tried warming it up before but obviously didn't leave it long enough and it cooled down straight away so thought it was a pointless exercise. 10 minutes though and your right, feels much more realistic and stayed warm throughout the session. Also need to get a tennis ball for the tennis ball massages. Am I right in thinking I can just place this between my balls and anus and sit on it, nothing else required?

@WillGetBetter - During my edging session I tried to RK and took 1 minute 30 to get down to a 30%ish erection. I'm still not convinced my RKs are right which is frustrating me. If I need to urinate then what I'm doing I can feel like I would at the start or urination (without doing so) which makes me think it's right but as I've said previously I feel more ballooning towards my anus. I'm going to persevere and hope its just a tight pelvic floor that will loosen over time.

I know theres no easy fix and its a long road with hard work so I just need to be more patient!

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

@TheR

Okay. That’s interesting. It may mean your RKs are not effective right now.

Two more questions:

1. When you lay on your back with your legs straight out (no bent knees) is there a space between your lower back and the floor. Is your lower back arched? If so, try to learn to rotate your hips so that your lower back presses against the floor. I can only do a RK when my hips are rotated like that. If there is an arch in my lower back, I cannot RK. I believe that is called anterior pelvic tilt. If you have anterior pelvic tilt, you must address that to be able to RK.

2. Maybe I already asked you this, but when you lay on your back, can you breathe from your belly (diaphragm) and make your belly rise up freely (without much tightness)? If my stomach is tight, I cannot RK. I have to do the cobra stretch, and then I can RK.

Let’s keep working to figure out why the RKs are not working. Is it anterior pelvic tilt, tight stomach, tight pelvic floor, or something else?

[TheR Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheR]

Thanks for helping me figure this out WillGetBetter.

I laid on my back this morning and whilst there is a slight arch in my lower back, my spine was still touching the floor. Trying to rotate my hips was really uncomfortable, probably because my back was already touching the floor.

I can breath from my diaphragm freely when laying down, sitting, standing.

I'm going to edge again tonight and will try to RK my erection away. Would you recommend me trying a long hold or continuous short ones?

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Thanks for helping me figure this out WillGetBetter.

I laid on my back this morning and whilst there is a slight arch in my lower back, my spine was still touching the floor. Trying to rotate my hips was really uncomfortable, probably because my back was already touching the floor.

I can breath from my diaphragm freely when laying down, sitting, standing.

I'm going to edge again tonight and will try to RK my erection away. Would you recommend me trying a long hold or continuous short ones?

Hmm...

When you tried to make sure erection go down and it took and 1.5 minutes, do you think that RKs actually helped it go down? Or, do you think it started to go down by itself because you weren’t stroking and enough time had passed. Do you think it would have gone down in 1.5 minutes if you were not RK’ing?

Now, I can do one or two really long RKs to make my erection go away in about 10 seconds. When I first tried this a few weeks ago, I couldn’t RK very long, so I would have to more short/medium length ones. And, it took much longer for me to get rid of my erection.

[TheR Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheR]

Hmm...

When you tried to make sure erection go down and it took and 1.5 minutes, do you think that RKs actually helped it go down? Or, do you think it started to go down by itself because you weren’t stroking and enough time had passed. Do you think it would have gone down in 1.5 minutes if you were not RK’ing?

Now, I can do one or two really long RKs to make my erection go away in about 10 seconds. When I first tried this a few weeks ago, I couldn’t RK very long, so I would have to more short/medium length ones. And, it took much longer for me to get rid of my erection.

I'm not sure if the RKs helped or not to be fair, but good question! I'll run a few tests tonight, go from a full erection and let it go down by itself, and then get a full erection back and RK and measure the time differences.

The thing is what I am doing (that I think is an RK) I can hold for a good length of time. I don't really feel anything between my balls/anus though which is where I'm guessing the most of the 'ballooning' feeling should come? It is more to the anus so maybe I'm doing mainly back RK's - however, if I do need to urinate and do a soft RK I can feel the urge to urinate come on and if I pressed a bit harder I would do. At the end of the day I also get a bit of a 'dull ache' in my penis if I've been RK'ing alot which I would think suggests its doing something? I don't know though.

I'll try losing an erection by 1) doing nothing and then 2) by doing RKs and measure the times and report back.

I do feel that if I RK when getting aroused though I can slow the erection coming on which I suppose is positive?

When edging also my pelvic floor is solid as a rock, trying to RK does 'loosen' it slightly but its still hard, when I don't have an erection its very soft (if thats the right description)

[TheR Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheR]

Little update - prior to edging tonight I got an erection then just let it go down, took 1 minute 20 seconds. I found myself doing RKs without even thinking about it so just tried to do nothing. After I got my erection back and tried holding an RK, took 1 minute 14 to go. So basically the same time. Obviously RKs aren't working in this regard for me.

I edged after and was at the PONR pretty quickly and found it really hard to get into any form of rhythm (constantly hitting the PONR) I then got a pain in my penis (not sure if from over exertion of trying to RK all day every day)

Also when I'm erect my pelvic floor is enlarged and so tense. trying to RK brings it down slightly but nowhere near to when I'm not erect, when my pelvis floor feels relatively soft.

Ordered some tennis balls so going to get on the tennis ball massage. I just place it between my balls/anus and sit on it right?

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

How fast is your stroke speed when edging? Have you tried going supper slow (1 stroke every 5 seconds)?

The easiest positions for my to RK are when I’m bent over touching my toes and when I’m on my hands and knee with my back arched up like a cat.

[TheR Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheR]

How fast is your stroke speed when edging? Have you tried going supper slow (1 stroke every 5 seconds)?

The easiest positions for my to RK are when I’m bent over touching my toes and when I’m on my hands and knee with my back arched up like a cat.

Ok so edged this morning super slow all the way through. One thrust in and out every 5 seconds. One issue was I was losing my erection to about 60% at times then got super hard at 10 minutes and got close to the PONR bang on 11 minutes. Took a minute time out and hit the PONR another 3.5 minutes later again so stopped. Restarted and for the last 1.5 minutes upped the pace to one thrust in and out every 2 seconds and felt relative control but had to stop after 1.5 minutes. Got close to the PONR three times in 20 minutes usually I’d say it’s maybe 15 times

Bending over and touching toes and adopting a cat position didn’t give me any feeling in my pelvic floor I’m not already getting

[iwillbeatit Member Find all posts View Profile Close iwillbeatit]

had today sex the second time since i startet training, no improvment yet, still around 3min. But i will continue my training every day and lets see next time.
i think my arousal was way to high, i tried to deep breath and rk, but it doest work like in edging..

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Here's a quick update of the past week of training and sex. I had sex three times this week. Two times I felt in control and it was really fun, but last night it was back to 30 seconds - 1 minutes with no control. This is such a challenging process with more ups and downs than I thought it would have.

I'm a little at a loss to understand what happened last night. But, I think that I let my arousal get out of control from the very beginning. Usually during kissing and oral I do a lot of RK to the point where I almost have no erection. Then when we switch to PIV sex, she has to help me get it up before we start. Last night, I was rock hard even before we started kissing - I didn't bring my erection down while giving her oral - so by the time we started having sex I was already at a high level of arousal.

One thing I need to work on is what I've seen TheZZMan discuss in his advice to people with PreE. He recommends playing around at high arousal levels and finding ways to get through it or past it. I have had no luck achieving a plateau once I am up in the 8/9/9.5 arousal level. I cannot figure out a way to drop back down and settle into a plateau. I am only successful if I ramp up slowly and settle into a 6 or 7 - then it works great.

If anyone has some advice, that would be great. I'm all ears.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

had today sex the second time since i startet training, no improvment yet, still around 3min. But i will continue my training every day and lets see next time.
i think my arousal was way to high, i tried to deep breath and rk, but it doest work like in edging..

What do you think you can do to make your real sex more like and edging session?

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Hey WGB, sent you a PM after you sent me a visitor message. You are welcome to copy/paste it here to your thread that it may help others. If my message was still vague, continue to ask questions. There is a way to fight through the PONR, but everyone is different. So what works for me, may not work for someone else. Personally I never kegel or Rkegel to ward off the PONR, instead, I let the PF go neutral as if it isn't there. This prevents IK's and the start of ejaculation. But takes practice to achieve this. Keep us posted on your progress.

[iwillbeatit Member Find all posts View Profile Close iwillbeatit]

I dont know my friend. I think i have to give this a little bit more time, my body cant change a habbit that i am doing wrong almost 30 years in 1 month...
hard work pays off!

To your story, when i read your lines, i think u had the feeling "i can do it, i dont have to rk an all the things u have done the last times" my friend we are not so far in our progress. we have to go babysteps. do it exact like the times before just to get used to it. breathe, rk, do it slowly... do not rush these things..