My log in beating PreE

[Jimmy_quick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jimmy_quick]

Hello everyone,

First I want to thank to all members of pegym, for me it is like a treasury full with useful information about overcoming and fighting with the PreE.

I’m in fact lurking around for quite some time now. I am 36 and married so I can say I am having regular intercourse. I am suffering from PreE whole my sexual life for the last about 18 years. Initially it was not as bad as I could last about 2-3 minutes on regular basis... However in the last 1-2 years the things get really worse as I cum short after penetration (2-3 thrusts). This got me really depressed as first I cannot satisfy my wife (I never could which is really sad, I was not realizing it fully thou) and secondly I am getting this bad feeling after the ejaculation that really puts me down.

As most of the guys I have tried some things like lidocaine sprays and local anaesthetics that did not help to cure myself but just temporary supress the problem. Then read somewhere that kegel exercises may help and start doing them, however things got even worse. However this was quite beneficial as while looking for a reason why this happened I found the forum.

Since I started lurking around here I have built myself a routine which for now seems to partially helping which gives me a great confidence boost but I know I have still a lot to work on. That is why I hope this log helps me to achieve my goals.

I have noticed that in general I am very tense in my PF and feel myself keeping it tight all the time. Another aspect I have to work on is the mental side. Many times when I ejaculate too early I feel that deep in my consciousness I really want to do so.. I have to somehow get rid of this. Additionally all day long again during sex my mind and fantasy go crazy so I am building an anxiety even throughout the day.



Routine I am following for about 1 month and will try to be as consistent as possible:

5 days a week with 2 days rest:

Physical:

- 20 min stretching exercises and yoga poses described here in the forum (usually combined with deep belly breathing)

- 10 min Meditative RKs

- 10 min pure RK

- RK throughout the day when I realize I am tensed + PF piston when sitting (I am working on desk 8 hours a day so the PF Piston seems to stretch my PF very good. I am on this for a few days so let’s see)

- Work on lower abs. Feel like need them to support the PF piston and be able to push harder the PF to stretch better

- Edging when possible. Don’t have the possibility to do it because of my kids and wife at home, however when done I am aiming for 1 hour.

Mental side:

- Stop porn, already on it. Away for more than 1 month now. Realized I am type of person should never watch porn. It just makes my mind and arousal exploding. Not able to control myself and even apply some of the things learned.

- Stop thinking about sex all day long.

- Try to do Tantra mediation (this is on the roadmap, was reading it helped some guys)



During sex:

- Try to hold light RK through the intercourse, if PONR approaching pull out and make a couple of strong RKs for 5-6 second

- Deep-belly breaths to help the PF relax

- No rush. Take some more time for foreplay

- Aim to reach plateau

- Moan. I realize when I moan as well somehow it helps me relax and put my attention out of my genitals, tryint to say some nasty things to her at the same time



Where am I now:

Edging: I can last up to about 1 hour with reaching the PONR multiple times. When this happens I usually stop and wait a bit.

RK: I can say I have already built a good ability to reverse kegel. I can go flaccid from erect in about 20 seconds.

Sex: I can split is in morning and evening one, as I can clearly see a difference.

Morning sex: usually short after we are aware. Have the worst performance there. I am not sure what the reason is, maybe my PF is getting tense during the night, but I can barely last 15 seconds.

Evening sex: Here I have success in maybe 20% of the cases. Usually the first penetration is most difficult for me. Once go inside her I try not to move for 5-10 seconds, as I feel the PONR just after penetration. I am not sure how to handle this, very offen I will ejaculate at this point.

However recently since I am doing my routine I noticed that if I get over this first period I can continue with moving slowly (no trusting). I can handle this for about 20-30 min by stopping here and there. Staying only in missionary pose as only this was I have full control and can handle it.

Last week for first time it happened that after this initial period (which was more like me struggling not to cum than an enjoyable sex) I managed to get maybe for the first time in my life in some kind of plateau phase. I could literally trust harder and faster and I did not feel the urge to cum very close. So I was really amazed how this was possible. I will not forget my wife looking at me and asking.. “what have you done” with a happy smile? This moment I realized there is a light in the tunnel. I checked the clock and it was about 60 min since we started. I can say first 30 were struggle 30 were really enjoyment. Now since this happened the first time in my life I am sure it is because of the exercises, stretches and yoga poses I started combined with the RKs routine.

Unfortunately I was not able to repeat the performance of that night but I am sure I can beat it with being persistent in my routine and working more on the mental side.

One question, hopefully somebody can give me some tips.

As I said the most difficult time for me is the first penetration. What is happening recently is that even I do strong reverse kege before that and my errection goes down I will still ejaculate when I try to put him back in.. even flaccid. This has never happening before, and has never happened during edging. Any ideas how to overcome this?

So, I continue my routine, will try to post regular updates and keep track of my progress.

Good luck to all others trying to beat this nasty beast, I know we can make it.

[caesar92 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close caesar92]

I'm by far no expert on these means, but where can i start?
First, how's your edging?If you can edge for an hour i'm inclined to think it's some mindless stroking away, try focusing more on the pleasure you feel while stroking, there's a great article around here called Plateau edging, my guess is you're edging at low pleasure and arousal levels so sex just overloads you and makes it no use.
My tip :Always edge at 100% erection and focus on the immediate pleasure not just the orgasm part, use as little immagination as possible but still edge at maximum pleasure you can, without getting to PONR.This phase is called the plateau phase, the better you get at reaching it, the higher the pleasure you feel while doing it and while having sex.
https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html

Second, I guess you're pretty anxious about you cumming too early and you have this mental overload after foreplay will i cum, how will it go, just don't fail, etc.You have to relax, this is probably the hardest barrier to break.
You are already mostly beating this nasty beast with your commitment and hard work, just relax, let the routine do the work and don't have negative thoughts.

Best regards

[Jimmy_quick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jimmy_quick]

Thanks for the tips. Indeed I need to work on the edging. 1 hour I reach basically by trying to stay at maximum arousal and close but not reaching PONR, I would say something at about 8 at the arousal scale with 100% erection. I still feel I need to somehow get used to the sensention before introducing imagination.

Something new a discovered for myself about holding a RK while edging. Somehow until now while edging it was making my penis very sensitive and i had the feeling of starting climbing quickly to PONR so I would release it. I realized that this sensitivity is just in first strokes or for about 30 second. Afterwards I feel like desensitized for some time. Will have to experiment on this further.

I am also considering staying away for the morning sex for now. I dont see it bringing me anything other than frustration. I am always done in about 20 seconds. I still feel my PF very tense after waking up.

[upuratinario Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close upuratinario]

A lot of us have tense PF when waking up, if you look at the other pre e logs, I think bball33 was the last one to mention this.
For women, they are often recomended to sleep with a pillow between their knees if they sleep on one side.
I have been trying this since 3-4 days, but not so great results, as in I didn't see any significant changes when I wake up. If morning wood is present, things are even worse, as the unit is even more sensitive and prone to Iks.

[Jimmy_quick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jimmy_quick]

Thanks for pointing this out. Just read in your log about the sitting position. I realise Im also usually sitting with crossed legs, I will try to chnage this habit and keep my legs away. Ofcourse i dont expect immediate results out of this but I think if we are disciplined this will pay off in long term.
I've never had really strong IKs. Its just my PF tense as hell.
As I see results from the RKs, I am sure they will be a key element to master along with the mental side.

[Jimmy_quick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jimmy_quick]

Ok, I see some posts are gone because of the forum rollback. Anyway continueing with some update.

Most important is I stopped Hindi squats and RKs for now. Reason is I developed hemorrhoids bacause of pushing too much and the pressure on the back of the PF. I can say I have good isolation and will try to concentrate more on the fronr RK for the future.
Any ideas how to handle this? Maybe only stretching for now?

On the other hand..

Had sex yesterday. I can say I count it as success. Lasted about 20 min all in all. Started with some foreplay. I was really hard and horny as hell as I did not have sex for about 2 weeks. Was very anxious and aroused I was ready to blow my load on the first penetration so I had to pull out and try to relax for about 20 seconds. It was like this in the first 5 min going really slowly and stopping all the time. Tryed to push some RK however was so hard and my pelvic was just cemented. I guess this has also to do with me not doing any RKs in the last 10 days.
Anyway at some point I was just about to ejaculate however I managed to stop, even a little bit of sperm came out. Waited some sec9nd and got back in. From this moment I was feeling myself a bit like desensitized I was able to go for about 5 min with only slowing down. At the end she startes moaning and getting really into it which I could not handle without stopping and I came. I needed maybe 1 min to make her come (never did this with PIV btw, always with oral stimulation). I will put this for myself as target. I really want to do this for her.

So for now the plan is to temporary stop the RKs and deep squats until fix my hemorrhoids problem. Will continue doing stretches, joga and deep breathing. I need to improve on the breathing as I find myself keeping my breath very often during sex/edging.

[upuratinario Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close upuratinario]

Seems like exactly what happens to me when penetration starts, and basically it;s the same thing I do. No idea how to overcome it yet, but from what ACPreE told me, it goes away given time.
Regarding the partial sperm getting out, you may have experienced a partial ejaculation and some fainted orgasm that released prolactin and oxytocin in your body, which calms you and helps you go into a refractory time, which is basically not feeling anything.

As for hindi and hemorois, you need to check your posture when doing hindi. If pressure is felt in the back, then you don't have a straight back. Try getting your back a little in the back, if that makes sense. When you breathe in hindi, try and mentally target your diaphragm into the front, it usually helps.

If you chose to avoid hindi squats, then concentrate on doing lower abs workout ( leg lifts when standing on the ground ) and glute bridges. This will force you into doing Rks all day long when you breathe. It usually happens in 5-6 days.
You could also try and stretch the abs maybe using the cobra pose, as I found that tensed abs won't let me breathe propperly, it kind of constricts the belly in a bad way, not in a way like lower abs do which is a good thing.

When trying to do hindi again, have a look on youtube on "garland pose" and see how those dudes start, with legs wide apart. Maybe it's more confortable for you to not have your ass on the grass, but maybe mid air and relax there. It should help.

Congrats on the first success, it's a stepping stone for the progress to come as many of us have learned.
When sitting at the desk, play with different positions until you feel a slight slight pussh on your PF when you inhale. It's a bitch finding the right position, but once you find it, it works like a piston. try to have your feet in front of your knees, not under as I found this helps more.
Keep it up!

[Drjohn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drjohn]

Hey my man! The routine is looking good overall, but id say skip the edging until you have a better condition on your pelvic floor.

Keep doing the reverse kegels and the squats, you will feel when you are loose enough down there.

After that you can start the edging.

You see, i was at the exact same spot you are, i felt the ponr after 1-3 thrusts, started this start/stop edging you are doing now, and its not any beneficial, it doesnt do anything for you.

You need to start plateau edging when you are loose instead of the start and stop.

By plateau edging you get used to that ”ponr” feeling you have after 2-3 thrusts, and after training for a while you will be able to feel this amazing feeling during the whole intercourse without feeling the need to ejaculate, this is totally not understandable for someone with pre e.

But that is where i have been for a long time now, sex for as long as i want and it feels exactly the same way the whole intercourse as the intense seconds after 2-3 thrusts 2 years ago.

[Drjohn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drjohn]

Saw about your hemmoroids, then you are doing it too hard, it takes time.

I did gentle rks during all days and it took me 2-3 months to really feel the difference

[upuratinario Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close upuratinario]

Hey my man! The routine is looking good overall, but id say skip the edging until you have a better condition on your pelvic floor.

Keep doing the reverse kegels and the squats, you will feel when you are loose enough down there.

After that you can start the edging.

You see, i was at the exact same spot you are, i felt the ponr after 1-3 thrusts, started this start/stop edging you are doing now, and its not any beneficial, it doesnt do anything for you.

You need to start plateau edging when you are loose instead of the start and stop.

By plateau edging you get used to that ”ponr” feeling you have after 2-3 thrusts, and after training for a while you will be able to feel this amazing feeling during the whole intercourse without feeling the need to ejaculate, this is totally not understandable for someone with pre e.

But that is where i have been for a long time now, sex for as long as i want and it feels exactly the same way the whole intercourse as the intense seconds after 2-3 thrusts 2 years ago.

Happy to see someone cured around here, we don't get that a lot!
As far as edging on start stop vs plateau, I would like to mention my experience in regards to your advice.
First thing i tried when i started to try and cure myself, was edging for plateau as it was in the stickies. Read everything, it all made sense, and I went for it.
Terrible results, almost discouraging.
Then I did start stop for a month, learned my limits, when and how I go over, when I stay well under, how I react, etc.
Then I got back to plateau since a couple weeks ago.
Tremendous difference. I can now fully understand what that guy who wrote it was on about.
The stretching also helped a lot, but I feel one needs a little understanding of the start stop which is the easiest, before going on something more advanced. While it does NOTHING to cure Pre E, it helps towards the process.

[Drjohn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drjohn]

Happy to see someone cured around here, we don't get that a lot!
As far as edging on start stop vs plateau, I would like to mention my experience in regards to your advice.
First thing i tried when i started to try and cure myself, was edging for plateau as it was in the stickies. Read everything, it all made sense, and I went for it.
Terrible results, almost discouraging.
Then I did start stop for a month, learned my limits, when and how I go over, when I stay well under, how I react, etc.
Then I got back to plateau since a couple weeks ago.
Tremendous difference. I can now fully understand what that guy who wrote it was on about.
The stretching also helped a lot, but I feel one needs a little understanding of the start stop which is the easiest, before going on something more advanced. While it does NOTHING to cure Pre E, it helps towards the process.

Good comment, i agree that it can probably be useful in some situations, however i believe with tension any edging is not good at all.

And everytime a premature ejaculator will attempt plateau edging it will always be a sort or ”stop and start” before you get used to it and find the plateau.

I think its most important to give people the information that edging while being tense and getting ik’s is a waste of time, number one priority Will always be to eliminate involuntary kegels before edging. The only ”involuntary” kegels should be when you are at the orgasm

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Actually we get guys cured all the time and then they often disappear forever because they have accomplished what they came here to do .

Welcome back Dr John.

[Drjohn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drjohn]

Actually we get guys cured all the time and then they often disappear forever because they have accomplished what they came here to do .

Welcome back Dr John.

Thank you my friend!

[Jimmy_quick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jimmy_quick]

Hey my man! The routine is looking good overall, but id say skip the edging until you have a better condition on your pelvic floor.

Keep doing the reverse kegels and the squats, you will feel when you are loose enough down there.

After that you can start the edging.

You see, i was at the exact same spot you are, i felt the ponr after 1-3 thrusts, started this start/stop edging you are doing now, and its not any beneficial, it doesnt do anything for you.

You need to start plateau edging when you are loose instead of the start and stop.

By plateau edging you get used to that ”ponr” feeling you have after 2-3 thrusts, and after training for a while you will be able to feel this amazing feeling during the whole intercourse without feeling the need to ejaculate, this is totally not understandable for someone with pre e.

But that is where i have been for a long time now, sex for as long as i want and it feels exactly the same way the whole intercourse as the intense seconds after 2-3 thrusts 2 years ago.

Thanks, good point. I thing this transition from stop/start to plateau maybe the fix for me.
About the edging. Because of the family i dont have much privacy. I edge sometimes in evenings when everybody is already sleeping so I canmot do it on regular basis. Anyway when edging I will strive no to plateau and trying to stay away from PONR. I am currently reading the ByGGd's programme which seems very interesting and giving a lof of tips. What I will be trying to incorporate in my sessions will be the slow 2 sec strokes.

I was reading somewhere here in the forum about this 20min rule while edging, i.e. trying to edge for at least 20min before cumming. I feel this myself even during sex. If I manage to pass over those initial 20 min, even with a lot of stopping/starting I get to a state where I can control my thrusts by slowing down and in general having some kind of control. Problem for now is my wife if not really into this, i mean stopping and starting fpr 20 min as she gets bored and said she dont like it.

Had sex yesterday. Not so positive as the last time. I have the feeling at some point during sex I totally forget everything I am practicing, i.e. RKs, breathing, relaxing. Sure thing is this has to do with the mental side. Will try to consciously get out of this next time.
Anyway, tried to stick to what works for me for now. Started with abou 10 min giving her oral. Went for the missionary after that which works best for me. Lasted about 10 min starting and stopping here and there, no deep thrusts. It is more staying inside and moving my body. After the 10min I felt PONR approaching and decided not to just stop but rather change position. So we switched to her laying down on her tummy and me frok the back. I could not resis more then 5 thrusts like this and I came. I feld so aroused and hard as hell, my PV was like cemented. Tried RK and deep breathing.. nothig work worked in this last moment, I guess it was too late and and I had no time to mentally prepare. Wife was not in the mood for round 2 so that was it.
Thinking now what to change next time we have sex...

About my routine
-- doing light RK for about 10 min, 3 times per day. I say light because of the current issue with piles
-- yoga stretches - 20 min evening
-- meditative RKs 10 min
-- mediation 10min

Good thing for now is the self-awareness i am building as now I notice how my body reacts to arousal better.

Also noticed giving her oral makes me very excited, so even I am not erect after that I am somehow very aroused. Maybe will try to skip the forplay and see how it goes...

[upuratinario Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close upuratinario]

Also noticed giving her oral makes me very excited, so even I am not erect after that I am somehow very aroused. Maybe will try to skip the forplay and see how it goes...

Came to this conclusion myself a few weeks back, thought I might be getting into sex all hot and horny and I should skip foreplay or at least not going down on her.
Nothing changed. Maybe it will be different for you, but I doubt it as a lot of us have basically the same situations and simptoms.

I actually tried once to get into sex without any foreplay at all, just some lube on her and went full in. Nothing changed.
The part where the frenulum rubs her entire vagina wall makes me cum until I am at stroke two.

After the 10min I felt PONR approaching and decided not to just stop but rather change position. So we switched to her laying down on her tummy and me frok the back. I could not resis more then 5 thrusts like this and I came. I feld so aroused and hard as hell, my PV was like cemented. Tried RK and deep breathing.. nothig work worked in this last moment, I guess it was too late and and I had no time to mentally prepare. Wife was not in the mood for round 2 so that was it.
Thinking now what to change next time we have sex...

Another thing I also do/did and is very wrong, is to attempt to FIX anything when I am already there. There should exist some muscle memory for us to attempt any RK, breathing, etc well before there is even any need, well before sex too.
But this is hardly anything easy to do planed.
So I found that for the Rk part, working my lower abs started to do the trick and now I pretty much RK all day when I breathe. It is very well done when I am sitting down.
As for breathing, there is a part in some book called century count. basically you start to breathe through your belly, deep breaths, and count to 100 for every breathe you take. The catch is to restart whenever your mind wonders and you lose count. it sounds pretty simple and rudimentary, but I had to do 8 tries before I got to 100. After one such session, the breathing comes from memory for at least another 4-5 hours.