Pre-E | Log It, Beat It !

[forthebest Member Find all posts View Profile Close forthebest]

Hi,


So the aim of the game is to beat PreE and learn to controle it and have fun ! I have been reading, learning, understanding and gaining hope since I found this forum and have finally decided to plan my course of action and put it into a log ! I ask you guru's that have spent many hard worked hours of figuring out the way to solve your own problems to help and guide me in my quest to beat it !


Now to explain, my problem and where it all started so that you can get a better idea of the situation !
Sorry this might be a bit long but by me writing my experience, I can get my thoughts straight and attacked the problem from the angles that i find relevant.


So i'm 30 and my gateway into sex and masturbation all started when my older brother of 8 years older than me told the younger me who was 11 at the time what masturabation really is and his first time trying it and how to do it.
Little young me who saw his older brother as the hero went off the very same night, found a computer and looked at naked pictures of women and started to try and put into practice what he told me, i could get it hard but as much as i tried nothing happened, until i made a movement in my pelvis which i learnt recently from looking at the forum was proberly a Kegel !


Ooops and there went my futur sex life in a moments notice without me even knowing it ! 🙊


Thoughtout my teenage life i pretty much masturbated at least once a day on a chair in front of porn ! I would masturbate always sitting in a chair in a way where i would fast-forward to scenes that i liked have a good old tug of war on myself which would last for about 30 secondes and when i felt my self nearly there i would stop and fastforward to another scene and start the tug of war again. I would do this until either i get to the scene that i thought was a good finisher or where i though my luck would run out and someone would get up and come down ! I mostly masturbated at night when everyone was sleeping.


The wierd thing is that once i decided to finish (sometime i didn't decide) I would always finish by applying pressure to my perineum, it just feels more intense. I have been masturbating like this for most of my life.

Up until now i never really thought my way of masturbating was wierd, but thinking about it now, I think i have made a very bad habit for myself along with the kegeling, and rushing to that orgasme without experiencing the pleasure of getting there !

Before meeting my future wife, I did not have too many experiences or you could say it was mostly a one time thing, I was often scared and anxious that i would not perform well and long enough (proberly this logic came from watching porn) and I think since then my anxiety with sex has just gone down hill and been one of my major reasons for pre-E


Once i met my wife things went a little better even though i was still very anxious and at first would cum very quickly, like 30sec to a minute, it got better and better, not great but better, less stress, in the first few years of what I like to call the sex-madness phase of a relationship, it proberly got better because of lots of sex.

But after my child was born eveything went downhill as the our sex life stoped for a while getting used to a new born etc. And I was back to masturbating and of course only in front of porn. Once our sex life started up again our time alone was very few and far apart, so i continued to masturbate. When we did have sex I would feel very pressured because i would say to myself that i have to perform well so that my wife will want more sex but of course the sex was quick and bad. Over time My wife was less and less wanting to have sex because she know's that she will get aroused and then it will be all over before she could feel the pleasure. We have talked about the subjet on multiple occasions but it doesn't really help...


I have always been trying to find a solution for this problem, sexologue, hypnose erickson etc... but all that hasn't really worked.


I stubled onto this site round the start of Octobre and since then have read and learnt alot, i have identified quite a few similarities to my problems with others and I have come to point where I have really had enough of this problem and seeing people overcome this problem in this forum, I have decided since 3 weeks to dedicate everything into getting this sorted.


Since the 15 of Octobre I have quite porn !

Since 3 weeks i am following the Routine of WillGetBetter which i find attacks the problem from all the angles.
I track my exercises like AManWithAPlan2, great idea to maintain momentum ;-)

My Goal : Controle !

Stretching and APT exercises :
15 min APT exercises : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T69N5A0GzrI
15mins core exercise : leg raises straight, side to side, Hollow, crunches
30 mins yoga : (the hindu squat i take more time and do the triangular breathing with a RK https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T69N5A0GzrII do these exercises every day except the sunday ! I do go to the gym about 3 times a week but i do short (30 min) collective training (biking, cross training and another thing with light weights where you do lots of Reps of squating etc)

RK :
I don't really have a routine, i just do them going to work everyday in the car and when i'm doing the hindi squats. I do thought try and lightly breath into my pelvic floor when i'm doing the yoga. I also try when i think about it relax my pelvic floor thoughout the day. I think i have got a good controle of isolating the 4 different Kegels as before i had tried the first part of MinuteMans Kegel routine, but i had stoped that after 2 weeks and now focus only on Front RK.
Maybe i should exercise them as a special routine like the yoga and ATP exercises ?

Massage : I sit on a tennis ball about 30 to 40 mins a day. (I work sitting all day)

Edging : This is maybe the point that i have to work on the most as i had a very bad masturbating habit. The old way i would never use lube and just stimulate the shaft in a grip that wasn't too tight nor too weak and as i have mentioned it would be quick 30sec just till PONR and then i would stop wait a bit and restart again.Now since the last 3 weeks, i would try and edge 1 or 2 times a week but it's quite difficult with family and stuff...
I now use lube and just my imagination lying on my back because that is the position that is ithe most difficult for me.
It take about 5 minutes for my penis to get erected, from stroking it. Once erected i would then apply lube, the problem that i am facing the most is as soon as i use lube and stimulate the whole penis shaft and gland, i get directly the urge to ejaculate even though i can feel my body relaxed and focus on my breathing i still get that urge, it's like the more i try and relax my body the more the urge comes. Sometimes i've got the impression that i'm scared to let go and live the moment. So i have to really concentrate and stop and start, or stimulate a part of my gland. for it to pass. often i would get up and pratice slow thrusting into my hand and then i can get it somewhat under controle. i'm pretty much fighting the urge through the whole session. My sessions last at least 20 min and I don't ejaculate, only with my wife, as i only really have time for maybe 2 edging sessions a week the edging sessions are not close together. so i think that might be affecting the analyses and tests that i'm doing.
I can't yet really use RK to take down my arrousal while edging i think it might have something to do with my little APT that i've got and when i do rotate my hips i've got the impression that i'm adding pressure to my pelvic floor and my urge to ejaculate comes even quicker, and even though breathing does help, it doesn't help too much.

Sex:
Since i started my routine, I have only had sex a few times since starting my routine and only once did i last a little bit longer 2-3min, but i remeber throught the whole time i was focusing on my arousal and trying my hardest to RK. the other times it was as quick as flash haha.

Breathing :
I am focusing alot on my breathing and trying to breath with my belly all the time.

Meditation :
I try and meditate (mindful meditation), when i can 2 or 3 times a week for about 10 mins.

Other notes :
I saw a sexologue last week and told her of my plan, she was quite interested in my plan of action and my analyse of the situation, she added that i should also focus on the movement of my thrusting and try and relax my body while doing the thrusting movement slowly standing up inhaling on my back motion and exhaling in the front thrust which can help me relax. And she told me to think of an animal that is slow but powerful ! So I am now the tortoise when i have sex slooowww and powerful ! haha.

Tomorrow I'm going to visit a chiroprator, i'll see what she says about my pelvic floor and ATP.
Overall i think my biggest problem is my mind, controling my arousel and letting go. I often cum in sex the moment i think shit ! it's coming already !

I will update my log after each edging and sex session as i think the stretching, exercise and mediatation is something you can't really mesure after doing it.

Thanks for any of you reading this and the help or advise you can give, and i am sorry for the lenght but it is a log and you have to analyse yourself before resolving the problem.

Special note to say thank you to everyone that has already loged their stories and the people that has done detailed posts on ways of fighting this problem !

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Looks like a solid plan! Whatever you do, just don't quit. It's likely you will experience discouragement, confusion, and doubt, but when you do, tell yourself you knew this would happen and it's just part of the path to getting better. I really have come to believe that the only reason a member of this forum (who has truly learned and fully understood the proven techniques) doesn't beat PreE is if they quit their plan too soon.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

[forthebest Member Find all posts View Profile Close forthebest]

Thanks AManWithAPlan2 ! I will remeber the advise ;-) I figured that to do anything in life you need 3 things, A goal, a method and the desire. The Goal i don't have to explain if not i wouldn't be here, the method, well there is so much information here that i think i've got more than enough to work with, also you have to say to yourself, if someone else can do it, so can you, just follow what they did ! The desire well thats an easy answer the only problem with desire is that you need to have a burning desire, for the moment i do !
Even if i don't see resultats at first the Yoga, Exercises and mediation is good for you and can only benfit your daily life ! I already feel the affects, and it lets me start my day off with a good kick
For the moment i've got a good momentum... I've just got to find more private time for edging !

Thanks Pegasus ;-)

[forthebest Member Find all posts View Profile Close forthebest]

So after my visit to the chiro last week, she confirmed that i had APT and also a tight pelvic floor.
She didn't really work on that though as i had lots of other little problems that she wanted to fixed before, i'm going back soon and she will then concentrate on my APT and pelvic floor. Wierldy the whole week that followed the chiro, i felt my pelvic floor was very tight, i wasn't even able to do RK.
But that might also be because last week i wasn't able to do anything except maybe 1 stretching session and 1 edging, i had my sister over that i hadn't seen since over a year so there was more glass lifting than stretching and once she left i was knacked and it was a challenge just to get up to go to work + family.

Edging : I was only able to get 1 edging session in, which that went pretty badly, i find it quite difficult the edging session because it takes some time to get an hard erections like 5-7 minutes, and then once it's there my arousal shoots up from 5 to 10 in a second. And then it's just a battle to not cum, i stroke a few times and then i have to stop and wait, once my arousel has gone back down to 5, i start again and bang i'm straight up at the top of the scale in 2 secondes. I have the impression my glad is very sensitive proberly from bad masturbation where i only stimulated the shaft. (by the way i am circumsized)
During my edging session i don't think i have IK, but i do feel my whole pelvic floor is as tense as fuck ! i can feel the perineum hard and tense like the top of triangulaire tent. and whatever i do it's still very hard !
I edged for about 15 minutes and then just let myself cum as i wanted to know what the perineum would do and it was like a pulse boom boom like a little ball just under the balls going bang bang. is this what a IK does but less intense before the PONR ?
When you say at least 20 mins do you mean 20 mins means once you have an erection or 20 mins with warming up yourself up ?

Sex : I had sex twice, one at night thursaday, it didn't go for too long bout 20 secondes, there was a bit of foreplay before but as soon as my gland pushes it's way in, i go oh shit in my head and everything i know goes out the window lol... I don't really know how to deal with the moment of penetration. Once i'm in and got my bearing it's alright i can last maybe 1 - 2 mins but most of the time i don't get it. The postion i am always in is missionary as it's the one where i find i have the most controle.
The other one was sunday morning and was pretty much a repeat of thrusday night. This might be because i didn't really do any exercise last week, if i stop the exercises for a week like that would i have to restart from the begining my re-education ?

As last week was supposed to be my 4 week of my routine, i will just tell myself that it was a void moment, and that my real 4th week is this week.

So this week i started the morning nice and early got my APT exercises and yoga stretching in for about an hour, and then in the shower did some penis stretching, jelqed and then edged, wierdly this edging session in the shower was alot more easier to controle, maybe standing up, maybe the yoga stretching, APT exercise + penis stretching and jelq helped but i didn't get to the PONR before at least 8mins, and i was going fast, at the end i was debating if i let myself cum as i normally do it 1 in 3, but i'm feeling a bit pissed off at the moment with other things and just let myself go with the flow

[Johnny D ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Johnny D]

For the benefit of better search results... The correct abbreviation is APT. It's Anterior Pelvic Tilt

[forthebest Member Find all posts View Profile Close forthebest]

Yeah Sorry, bad typing, even though I read through it, I just read it APT, i just corrected the other ones. Thanks

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

I can relate to the arousal spikes. For months of my own edging, I couldn't figure that part of it out. Even by myself, I would shoot up right to 10. For me, just the consistent practice of aiming for low arousal, even talking myself through it, and focusing on keeping a relaxed pelvic floor, got me to the point where I can edge by myself at more of a level 7, not 10.

As far as your Rks go, for me what's been working really well lately has been basically punishing my core with lower core work haha; I'm doing lying, straight-leg raises and then pulley crunches and those have both helped me have better muscle control in my lower abdominals which has directly impacted my ability to perform an RK. And then Hindi Squats have become really great for doing a very focused RK.

[forthebest Member Find all posts View Profile Close forthebest]

Arousal spike are a killer, but i must admit sometimes they don't come like this morning in the shower? why ? I dunno but it's something i will have to play around with to find out...
In any case i am well aware that my pelvic floor is very tight so to keep it relaxed is challenging. and something i hope the stretches and exercises will help with.

For RKs, sometime i think i might be not pushing them far enough to the front. Sometimes when i push them forward enough, or at least i think forward enough i've got the feeling that i want to pee and that the base of my shaft is tingling slightly.

Yes i do feel the muscle easier to controle after doing core exercises, and hollows body crunches works very well for the core as you are sure that you are not in a APT position. I read that the hollow body crunches works well from Paul789 in ACPreE log, and i must admit they work well and burn + you are sure that you are not in a APT position when doing them.

[forthebest Member Find all posts View Profile Close forthebest]

So I am doing my stretches, APT and core exercises every morning for about 45min nothing really to say about them, except i can now touch my toes for a few secondes in certain stretchs .

Today i had an edging session that went pretty well, I only had a few IK and i was able maintain a certain control. I edged for about 25mins and then carried on with my day.
I was mainly focusing on breathing, with slow strokes with lube, I edge lying down flat on my back as this is the position that is the most dificult for me and when i feel that i am slowly losing control i would stand up and do a thrusting movement.

In todays session i tried something a little different, as I have APT when i edge I always try and have my back flat therefor when i edge I can't really relax my mind nor my pelvic floor as i am putting pressure on my abs to keep my back flat and trying to relax my pelvic floor at the same time.
So I thought of putting a big cussion under my legs to relieve this pressure and have the back as flat as i can. I didn't really think about it as i was edging but in the last 5 mins I opened up my legs so that they weren't on the cussion and flat on the bed, and what do you know, i had at least 50% less control i could feel my whole pelvic floor tight like a elastic being pulled. i tried on and off for the last 5 minutes and could see the difference.

I don't really know what to do with this discovery, but at least it confirms I am in the right direction that i have to work on my APT and my core.

[ACPreE Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ACPreE]

I don't really know what to do with this discovery, but at least it confirms I am in the right direction that i have to work on my APT and my core.

Right there man work like a beast on your core/lower abs and you will see. It was my missing link. And if it doesn't help at least you will have some kick ass abs but i'm very confident in the impact APT has on PreE. To the point that my crazy anxiety spikes dont overwhelm the work iv done towards my APT.

I used to think my anxiety was destroying any progress i was making physically because i had been doing endless stretches. I still have mad spikes of anxiety but they dont seem to affect my stamina as much as i assumed. Probably a good example of this was this last weekend. My gf and I went at it and when i get turned on and excited sometimes my anxiety spikes and i get shaky and an adrenaline rush. That happened last weekend but I still was able to go at it without having the need to ejaculate. When she was ready to finish I was right there with her which is exactly where she wanted my stamina to be. If I need to catch up to her, some kegel pumps bring me to finish.

Stretches, RKs, Core work The trifecta.

[forthebest Member Find all posts View Profile Close forthebest]

Thanks man, for the motivation ! I'll keep at it and adjust accordingly.
I think Anxiety is a major problem for me, before sex i'm always asking myself how long will i last? is my body relaxed? how's my pelvis floor? And then the moment i tell myself don't cum, is the moment I cum but with the stretchs, corework and RKs, I think it can give me the mental edge to push through the anxiety and be sure of myself.

My anxiety comes mainly from knowing i don't have control, and that it has been 6/7 years where my wife has very little satisfation in bed, so of course i feel the pressure even though she's tells me don't worry about it etc etc... at least with the routine that i put in place, I can tell myself don't worry it will come, and i will come later haha !

To try and get my anxiety down i do meditation with a mindful meditation app, I try and do it every night, we will see how that goes.

[forthebest Member Find all posts View Profile Close forthebest]

18/12/19

I had another edgeing session today, again with a cussion under me... I had a few IKs starting after about 6/7 mins where i changed to a standing up thrusting position, and then back to lying down. I was concentrating mainly on my breathing and trying to relax. When i was feeling my arsoual go up i would think what scale my arsoual was and it's when i think about it that it shoots up, so it is a little problematic to keep track of my arsoual and put myself on a scale. But I do know when to stop before the PONR

As I am by myself there is no pressure so I can't use that as an excuse for my arsoual spiking, the main problem is the sensitivity, especially when i slow down trying to bring my arousal down. I can feel the slow stroke is sucking up the cum and can imagine it

I still have problems doing RKs to bring my arsoual down during the session, I feel that I am expanding my pelvic floor but it doesn't help, maybe i'm not expanding enough, maybe i think i'm expanding it but i'm actually not. Maybe and most proberly i can't do RKs correctly.

Conclusion for edging : I'm alright for a little while but once i'm near PONR, it's difficult too bring my arsoual down.

[sameel Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sameel]

1. Just pushing two fingers on the BC muscle brings down arousal. It is the muscle which wraps around the inner penis.
I can apply it during sex (side by side sex position) and it works great when RK's don't work. It allows me to continuous thrusting without stopping.
Try it during edging.

2. When you apply an RK, at the same time pullback your toes/feet. This also makes RK's more effective.
Following image can be helpful.
tricks.jpg

[forthebest Member Find all posts View Profile Close forthebest]

Thanks Sameel for the advise, I will try the 2 technics and let you know the effects.