PreE log

[xander19 Member Find all posts View Profile Close xander19]

Was pretty busy these days, couldn't write updates. I've done my kegels/RKs, abs routines and I tried to edge one time but I literally did not have time so I just abandoned and went on with my day. Today I almost gave in again and watched porn, thought about this log and didn't do it. I must be as busy as I was these past few days, when I'm really busy I don't even think about watching porn, it's always when I'm bored and alone.

[xander19 Member Find all posts View Profile Close xander19]

Tried to edge today.. EQ wasn't great at all..Went at it for like 20 mins and then got the urge to kegel to cum since I didn't do it for the past few days.

I get hard but as soon as I start stroking my EQ goes way down. It most likely is due to my arousal problems, because it happens whenever I get past the "horny" state, when the arousal scale is pretty high. Its just like a "blank" feel, all my arousal goes away but so does my EQ. I'm going to start working on this tomorrow, only going to try to get hard with a blank mind, no arousal thoughts or anything.

[Anthony Gerio N Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Anthony Gerio N]

How do you edge? hand? You have to consider that after a while it is not going to create enough stimulation. Maybe try a FL to see if the erection quality problem is just a issue of stimulation.

[xander19 Member Find all posts View Profile Close xander19]

Yes, I edge with my hand. You're right, it may be because I'm not getting enough stimulation, but buying a FL is kinda hard for me, since I don't live alone, atleast not all the time, I do get to be alone but I'm just thinking where would I hide a FL? I mean, where I'm from, buying sex toys isn't usual. I've been thinking about buying one for a long time since it stimulates the real thing way better than my hand so it would really benefit my training and overcome my sexual anxiety.

Now, I will really think about buying one and even just use it a couple of times until I'm not alone anymore and throw it away, I've found some that aren't that expensive. Is there something I should look for when buying one or it doesn't really matter?

[xander19 Member Find all posts View Profile Close xander19]

Edged yesterday & today. Today, I wanted to do a little test. Opened up a picture, started edging and I said that I'm gonna do it without stopping to see how much I can do it for. Obviously, at some point I started doing it really fast and just like my last post, my EQ started going down, like I can get a hard-rock boner before starting but it goes down as the time passes, so next week I'm gonna look for a FL toy to try. After some minutes my breathing was all out of the place and I also kegeled which led me to PONR.

So:

-need to get a FL to see if stimulation really is a problem
-breathing and relaxing really do play a big part.

[xander19 Member Find all posts View Profile Close xander19]

Okay, one week later: my FL arrived. Lubed it up, it was pretty warm already and I got hard very fast, went inside and surprisingly, it wasn't "WOW", it was good but it definitely didn't make me cum in a few strokes.

I did stay hard for the duration of my edging session so stimulation could be a problem with normal masturbation. I did it only with my imagination and since I cut porn out I don't know if I should try it out but even if I would, I believe my problem really stands in arousal, having huge spikes of arousal at the beginning which makes me go over the edge fast.

Went at it for some good time, both using my hand controlling it and moving my hips just like in sex(didn't use a timer or anything but I'd approximate like 10 minutes, I could 100% go longer), at the end I just stroked really fast with my hand and it took me a while to cum(it also brought up all the "symptoms" aka: my heart started beating faster, muscles moving, etc) I believe if you really relax chances of you coming early if your arousal is in control is low.

[xander19 Member Find all posts View Profile Close xander19]

I tried porn with the FL. I didn't crave it at all, feels like my problem with porn is mostly gone. I had a pretty good EQ while inside and I didn't have the urge to cum at all, I even put on one of my favorite porns to test the limits, at first, when my arousal was pretty high, I had to go a little slower but then I could stroke as fast as I can without feeling the need to cum, only when I let my arousal take control of me and like in the previous post, I didn't relax I didn't do anything, just wanted to let myself go.

This means that what I said in my previous post was right, my problem stands mostly in arousal, I'll work on controlling that. tbh, I was expecting my dick to explode from porn and FL but it didn't, since with my hand I tend to kegel, I think thats what makes me get to the edge so fast(combined with the arousal spikes), with the FL it just feels more natural and I don't have to kegel at all, but doing a RK is kinda hard so I must get back on with the RK training.

[xander19 Member Find all posts View Profile Close xander19]

Okay, it's been some time since I've made this LOG. I haven't posted because I believe I'm closed to cured.


After reading the last thread of a guy overcoming this, it came to my mind how simple it looks overcoming this. The hard part, I believe, is overcoming the mental barriers(overcoming porn addiction - if you have one, bad masturbation habits, arousal spikes, etc).

For the past months, one problem that I've really been struggling with is porn because of my lack of sexual experience so getting hard with imagination isn't that easy. I've kind of overcame this. Last time I watched porn was when I got my FL to try out the waters and a week ago when I was gone due to high stress which I will never do again because it just made it worse, but other than that, I'm all good.

Another problem, bad masturbation habits. Oh boy, the amount of times I'd start masturbating with the mindset of lasting 20 minutes and 2 minutes in I'm stroking my dick like I have a quick time event in a game and you have to smash a button really fast, while also kegeling. I can say I still do this sometimes but I've realized it doesn't feel good at all(only in the moment) and for the long term it sucks, so I kind of stopped doing it and I'm still improving. The EQ problem is also part of this combined with porn, I still get very hard at times but I'm still not on that 100% hard-rock state.

I still sometimes masturbate and come in a few minutes, I've stopped thinking every session must be 10+ minutes long, I have friends whose sexual lives are very good and I've never heard them tell me they masturbate for 20 minutes, they all do it fast but they don't have any other problems since they overcame them. I believe edging helps with the mental side of the problems and ofcourse if you're on that extreme side of always coming in a few seconds to train your brain on not dong it every time.

The last and the biggest problem, arousal. Again, oh boy, my arousal spikes were the biggest problem in this journey and still are. With the lack of sexual experience, my mind is still kind of bugged and I look at girls in a sexual way, WAY too much. I'm really improving on this day-to-day but its the hardest thing on the list tbh, this is what made me crave porn and what makes me want to masturbate every time I see a girl I like post some good pictures.

Now, after listing my problems, why am I saying I'm almost cured? Well, I've read some recent thread of someone saying they overcame this and how they did it and it didn't surprise me to see such a small list of things he did which got him cured. I've wrote in here about my EQ problem until Anthony said that it is maybe a stimulation problem and that I should try a FL. I kept thinking about it and finally bought one. Not gonna lie, I was a little nervous seeing reviews of people saying they came in a few seconds or how much better it feels than the real thing but surprisingly, like I said 2 posts ago, I could last long and thrust hard, fast, because I wasn't HAVING any of the problems above - in the moment(EQ was pretty good, didn't kegel, didn't think of coming too fast, my arousal was under control and I didn't CARE if I come too fast, which made me last really long and tbh I felt like I could thrust that thing as much as I wanted).

So, the main point of this is: as long as I'm staying the same during normal masturbation or during sex, everything's gonna be alright. If I look at the recent guy who said he cured himself, it is the same: he stopped watching porn, he taught himself to last 10, 15, 20 minutes while masturbating, no kegeling, arousal under control, etc. I'll write in here when I'll get a girl and tell y'all guys how it went down, I don't know how long it'll take since college opens back up only next month but I'll be sure to come in here to tell you if I am really cured.