A newbies log to overcoming PE

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Have been doing RK the past few weeks. The stretching routine not that much. Recently I have started watching P again since edging feels completely useless. I have NO struggle at all while edging and I just can't see how that is gonna help. As soon as I add P or have sex that's where the problems start. I notice over arousal and getting stressed in my mind are the main problems. The IK's are still the same during eding while watching P and I have HUGE anxiety with every type of contraction I feel since reading this forum. Everytime I try to get rid of IK with RK my dick just goes to erection quality 2 or 3. I cannot keep my erection quality up and stay at a 7 or anything like that. It's basically like this:

Masturbate
Erection quality 7
Getting close to 8/9
Using RK and K to get rid of the over arousal
Goes limbmode or 40% erect
Tries to get it back to a 7 while breathing correctly
Getting close to 8/9 within seconds
And the same cycle continues

Add to above: I usually get my EQ down my doing a K for a couple of seconds and after that RK whilst breathing and this helps to get my EQ down. But way too much. And when I try to keep my EQ somewhat good and doing this I will tend to go to a 9 immediately again. It's either a 4 or 9 no in between.

Everytime I get a normal and good erection I get anxious that I am too aroused. I read on this forum that EQ and Arousal are always in sync. So how am I supposed to have sex with a good and normal erection without being over aroused? Either I am limbmode or 40/60% EQ and having no problem at all or I am erect, first not having problems but then the anxiety due to good EQ kicks in and boom there we go.

It's not perse that I can't get to an 7 on the scale. But more likely that I have build up anxiety with having a good EQ since that means over arousal?

Am I also supposed to add regular K in from now? Have been doing RK for a couple weeks now. Maybe I am doing the RK too strong and too much during edging because of which I go limbmode? Didn't see any good progress by the way. The only way I last long during sex is just me masturbating that same day and then having sex. Or drinking enough alcohol helps.

So to sum up my main question:

- If edging seems useless since I don't get any problems there, would it be wise to add in p or what can I do here?
- Should I add regular kegels to my RK's from now?
- What can I do about the correlation between EQ and PE? As soon as my EQ goes up I get anxious.
- If edging and trying to get rid of the Ejaculation feeling. Is it supposed to be that your EQ goes down all the way and you need to get it back up? Because that seems the only way I can get rid of that feeling?

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Most advice onsite is to avoid porn if you have had an issue with it previous .
You can add kegels or similar at 20% of total workout to start.
Yes anxiety is a problem for many men it contributed to my DE .
Edging is a journey supported by out of sex training with stretches /rk etc .

So imagine you are a boxer . You do exercises like roadwork situps etc (so like out of sex work) then you do bag and pad work and even spar (edging) . So I suppose sex is fight night .

Will send a thread on edging worth you reading.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Some suggested reading from my work.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...tml?highlight=

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...balance-3.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...tml?highlight=

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

@pegasus: Thank you for the links and information. So if I understand it properly I shouldn't be watching Porn even though edging doesn't really bring me anywhere close to PONR or anything?

I will be doing the edging progressions with the arousal scale: Go to level 7, back to 4 and back up to 8 then down to 4 etc...

I suppose that is mainly to get to know the arousal scale without even thinking about it eventually.

Also for the RK: I suppose I am doing them correctly when I feel the sensation of peeing? I am sometimes confused how much pressure I should be using though. Do I also need to do the more advanced exercises or would 50 RK everyday for 2 sec holds be good enough to do?

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

With rk you start gentle as you become mre advanced you may have reason to develop more "strength".

If you are having difficulity geting to ponr one should ask why.

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

With rk you start gentle as you become mre advanced you may have reason to develop more "strength".

If you are having difficulity geting to ponr one should ask why.

I don't really understand what you mean with the second part. I can ask myself why, but I wouldn't know? When I am edging without any stimulation I can easily last as long as I want, if I go hard I can get to PONR but I have complete control over that. Even with a good erection I will have control. Just as soon as I add P or sex I don't.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

I don't really understand what you mean with the second part. I can ask myself why, but I wouldn't know? When I am edging without any stimulation I can easily last as long as I want, if I go hard I can get to PONR but I have complete control over that. Even with a good erection I will have control. Just as soon as I add P or sex I don't.

What does this teach you?

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

That overarousal would be my main problem? And that the things to fix that would be my solution? @pegasus

[redbloodme Member Find all posts View Profile Close redbloodme]

؟

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

Some updates:

- Sitting and lying down gives me more problems then when I am standing
- Bj's make it easier for me to last longer. Altought I can also choose to do it quicker.
- Reading one topic made me realize I should start training my core. I have been doing powerlifting since I am 16 but skipped abs for the past YEARS.

So with regards to actual training: Train my core from all sides and keep stretching the hips.

RK update: I notice that I can do RK's when eding or when getting a BJ if I slowdown and use hard rk's. During sex it's basically impossible for me to slow down, breathe and do the RK's to the point that I will be calm. With the hard rk's during sex I noticed I will get more stressed/anxious. Since I am semi holding breath to do them, not breathing calmly and having a hard time to focus on so many things. During sex I feel like I need to focus on breathing slowly, doing hard RK's, focus on relaxing muscles etc.

During the BJ I also noticed that I am not SUPER aware of my scale. I have a good solid EQ and enjoyable feeling but I don't notice me slowly gliding up the scale. From one moment I just notice 'Oh now I am almost about to reach PONR'. Here I can choose to slow down, stop & breathe or cum. I suppose this means that with BJ's I am consistently on level 7/8 and when I feel it coming I get to level 9 for a while where I still have the choice to slow down or not?

Summary:

- BJ's give me insights in how the arousal and control works
- RK's tend to be too hard to focus on during sex (hard time staying calm, enjoying the experience and getting arousal/erection back (ie: hard to take control)
- According to my lifting history and other topics I realized I should add a lot of core exercises from now on (going to do regular core training for sure, contemplating if Vacuums should be added too)
- Keep doing the hip stretching
- Keep doing RK's during the day whenever thinking about it
- Have quit porn since last post (edging without porn in different positions, sitting and lying down makes this harder, standing makes it really easy)

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

I must say, even though I didn't make any progress yet, I am quite glad I got this problem and it made me stumble upon this forum. Without my PME problem I would've never researched this. I already have plans to keep training for this beyond PME on this forum.

When I have dealt with my PME I will transition into MMO and PE training. Quite curious what limits I can reach with training and really putting in the work for my sex life. Even though I am not 100% sure to believe PE training actually works. Would be pretty cool though.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

What is your out of sex rk workout?

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

@pegasus I don't have a specific workout, I just do RK through the day.


edit: Was just thinking if a Magic Wand on the muscle would help to relax. Since it's basically a massager which is used to relax any muscle. Might try this out soon and see what it does.

[Mudita Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mudita]

What is your out of sex rk workout?

Should I be doing a specific workout and not regular RK through the day? I can't really find what RK type I should be doing then. Also I am only capable of doing RK standing or lying down, when sitting it's impossible.

Edit: Now I feel like I am doing RK wrong again. I thought I was always pushing too hard because I got a peeing sensation. I am also NEVER able to do it without holding breath since I NEED to tense my muscles. I can do a RK were I FEEL my muscle push out but how the fuck are you supposed to hold that? To hold I need to keep the pressure and for the pressure I need to hold my breath. Unless I hold extremely light pressure in my lower abs but then I don't feel any muscle push out, just feels normal and not contracted. I could hold that the whole day without a problem so how are RK holds supposed to do anything? Or I am doing them wrong.


edit2: Maybe i should be doing the tri-point RK stretch and add some regular RK's to that so I am still doing more RK then K?

[Anthony Gerio N Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Anthony Gerio N]

Should I be doing a specific workout and not regular RK through the day? I can't really find what RK type I should be doing then. Also I am only capable of doing RK standing or lying down, when sitting it's impossible.

Edit: Now I feel like I am doing RK wrong again. I thought I was always pushing too hard because I got a peeing sensation. I am also NEVER able to do it without holding breath since I NEED to tense my muscles. I can do a RK were I FEEL my muscle push out but how the fuck are you supposed to hold that? To hold I need to keep the pressure and for the pressure I need to hold my breath. Unless I hold extremely light pressure in my lower abs but then I don't feel any muscle push out, just feels normal and not contracted. I could hold that the whole day without a problem so how are RK holds supposed to do anything? Or I am doing them wrong.


edit2: Maybe i should be doing the tri-point RK stretch and add some regular RK's to that so I am still doing more RK then K?

I have told this previously and some may not agree and some have experienced it.

RK is a way some people have come up with to stretch the pelvic floor and alone, it is only beneficial to those very limited population 2-3% that are in habit of strong stress and clenching the PF.

If you have a balanced strong core (including glutes and ab) which is not possible with tight hip flexors, by just a simple breathing relatively deep, your PF expands. A natural RK which can be used in sex. Assume you want to thrust, it is the heat of the action and you want to keep and focus on RK. Is this really possible?
Even if you go to PF specialists, the first thing they tell you is to work on hip, strengthen and open it up (which is the same thing we say here, more detailed on muscle groups). The reason I am explaining this, is that RKs can be very confusing and people think they are the source of cure. However, everyone who has cured this on this site, including me, had a priority of working on glutes, abs and stretching Flexors. And in reality, the training was the real reason that we could experience the good RK.
So, the ability to perform a good RK is a result of a balanced hip. Balance your hip and see how RKs happen naturally.

Now, if I have had a static day, no stretch what so ever, no movement, there's a possibility for me to have a tough hip that day. Because I have created the potential previously, with a few RKs and some stretches, I can remove the tightness. I can explain to you any specific part you need to know. I have also explained with pics from medical resources how hip muscles are related with PF and why hip tightness causes PF to contract up in one of my posts if you can find it so you'd be sure and determined to go that path.