Delayed Ejaculation - DE

[AlpineNewt Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close AlpineNewt]

Interesting thread.
In my case it has definitely been caused by very firm masturbation grip resulting in desensitization. About 10 years ago I had a circumcision and after not wanking for a month I had become very sensitive just as I was before discovering masturbation. Unfortunately I was single at that time and didn't get to test it out with a lady before the old deathgrip habit had snuck back in.
I've only managed orgasm inside a woman once. We'd had a huge argument earlier in the day and I think I was still pissed off with her, maybe that shift in mindset had something to do with it?
All my past partners have been fine with it. A couple of them seemed to really enjoy having me cum on them although I can't even manage that with someone new. I think that's an anxiety thing, it's a bit weird wanking off in front of someone watching you.
Sorry to ramble on, just needed to get some of that off my chest

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Interesting thread.
In my case it has definitely been caused by very firm masturbation grip resulting in desensitization. About 10 years ago I had a circumcision and after not wanking for a month I had become very sensitive just as I was before discovering masturbation. Unfortunately I was single at that time and didn't get to test it out with a lady before the old deathgrip habit had snuck back in.
I've only managed orgasm inside a woman once. We'd had a huge argument earlier in the day and I think I was still pissed off with her, maybe that shift in mindset had something to do with it?
All my past partners have been fine with it. A couple of them seemed to really enjoy having me cum on them although I can't even manage that with someone new. I think that's an anxiety thing, it's a bit weird wanking off in front of someone watching you.
Sorry to ramble on, just needed to get some of that off my chest

Feel free to ramble AlpineNewt, all DE related experiences welcome!

I know what your saying about jerking in front of a new partner, but then first couple of times you have sex with someone new there is bound to be some kind of nerves.

Maybe performing oral sex on them, while stimulating yourself would take the focus off you jerking it while they watch.

Did I read that right? That you successfully had ejaculation/orgasm from penetration after an argument?

[AlpineNewt Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close AlpineNewt]

Yeah, you read that right. I don't know if that was just a coincidence as we rarely argued.
I got accused of cheating on her because of laundry mix up. I shared a house with two girls and some piece of underwear got mixed in with my stuff after I had hurriedly grabbed stuff off the washing line when it was raining. Girlfriend found said underwear and all hell broke loose until I figured out what had happened.
After that all she wanted was for me to fuck her, like she wanted to punished for doubting me or something. She was a very loud, bossy girl but always a total submissive in the bedroom. I came in less than 10 minutes. One and only time I've managed it and that was 14 years ago.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Make-up-sex..

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

That is interesting too, maybe something to do with boiling blood?

I have on rare occasion ejaculated within that same space of time, don't remember it being part of make up sex though, I think it was because I was exceptionally horny as I hadn't had sex for some time or masturbated, but like danimal said it was only temporary.

Jay mentions at the start of this thread something about arousal level and pelvic floor exhaustion being a cause of DE.

[AlpineNewt Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close AlpineNewt]

Make-up-sex..

That's the phrase I was trying to think of!

[danimal1211 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close danimal1211]

Well yesterday I was able to finish without stressing my legs...well sort of. I had been using them during my edging session, but decided to try to stop and only use my PF. I was able to reach PONR by pulsing my front kegel. In fact it worked so well I wasn't able to stop at the PONR. The PF exercises IMO definitely deserve credit for this.

[SquiddlyDee Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SquiddlyDee]

I was trying deep squats for a while and I'm not going to say they don't help whatsoever, but it wasn't until I started re-incorporating RK's that I noticed any improvement. I've only done it once so far but I was able to reach PONR totally relaxed, no stress in the legs whatsoever . I think us DE'ers are unknowingly holding a slight kegel as the intensity builds and this blocks ejaculation. In my experience my kegels while fully aroused are weak but it's even more difficult to do a reverse kegel. Unfortunately I think this will be a long process to remedy the situation. Abstinence is only a quick band-aid that falls off as soon as you masturbate the next time. Complete PF balance IMO is the only cure. I just need to dedicate more consistent time at developing a routine.

Do you find that there is a complete lack of sensation when you aren't RKing? This is what I have and it decreases my eq, however if I RK too much I'm a goner too soon during sex.

[danimal1211 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close danimal1211]

RK's don't seem to do anything functionally for me as far as getting closer to or holding back from ejaculating. I've also seen people post that RK's seem to pump more blood into the glans. This doesn't happen for me. The reason I reported that doing RK exercises has been beneficial is more that my pelvic floor is moving towards being balanced and that I have noticed progress. It's going to be a long road, and I admit I haven't been consistent with doing these exercises.

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

RK's don't seem to do anything functionally for me as far as getting closer to or holding back from ejaculating. I've also seen people post that RK's seem to pump more blood into the glans. This doesn't happen for me. The reason I reported that doing RK exercises has been beneficial is more that my pelvic floor is moving towards being balanced and that I have noticed progress. It's going to be a long road, and I admit I haven't been consistent with doing these exercises.

I find regular kegels are what makes my glans expand, RK's are supposed to stretch the pelvic floor muscles, I don't do a great deal of reverse kegels, but I do breathing exercises to relax the pelvic floor, instead of using force to push.

[Overman91 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Overman91]

I have been reading The Multi Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia as I want to be able to orgasm multiple times like the women who are lucky enough have sex with me! I have this DE problem and the literature focus is always on people who have PE! I can and have lasted over 2 hours with some women and it isn't by choice!

I have been trying to implement some strategies such as meditation: The Century Count, self love, no porn, lightly and with oils/lotions and massaging the entire region, penis, scrotum, perineum,

I think performance anxiety is part of it too, I worry if I will cum at all, not if I will cum too quickly!

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Welcome to the gym Overman91!

I think the majority have Pre E, I don't think many consider DE a problem or have heard of it, anxiety plays a part for me, well probably more like frustration when I give up.

I think massaging the perineum area might be a good idea, Pegasus believes DE is to do with a malfunctioning pelvic floor, so it may be of some benefit, there are some exercises at the start of this thread that may help, I'm not sure if you have read them.

I lasted from midnight to daylight with the first girl I had sex with and still never ejaculated (it was still awesome), but alcohol was involved which makes me worse.

You should have a read of this thread if your just starting to exercise your penis.

Physiologic Indicators (PIs) to Help Penis Growth!

You might want to have a look at this also it may help with DE.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...r-balance.html

If you are about to start a beginners routine click "start here" at the top of the page and pick a beginners routine, also read the safety info!

Good luck overcoming DE and good luck PE'ing.

[azkeepnitreal Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close azkeepnitreal]

I've had this issue off and on the past few years. I do think masturbation does play a role but how large of a role I'm not sure.

I do know that it's gotten better for me with a few changes I've made.

1) I cut out the Saw Palmetto. I first started taking this because it was thought to help your load size. But recently I've read much more into this and there's a host of websites and forums where people say they feel less sensitive while being on this stuff. Some even say they notice their junk is getting smaller. Saw Palmetto shrinks an enlarged prostate, largely by interfering with the conversion of testosterone by the enzyme 5-alpha-reductase into dihydrotestosterone. If you don't have enlarged prostate, it's doing you no good. If you have DO (delayed orgasm) and you take this, try getting off it for a few weeks and I think you'll see improvement in your sensitivity.

2) You will definitely cum faster with a woman on top. I know I ALWAYS do.

3) Don't masturbate as often or at all. Skip the porn entirely.

4) Have sex MORE often.

5) Squats and running. I've always been super athletic and as I got older I stopped doing much of that and although I've lifted weights, the running thing just does more for your lower body blood circulation then weights alone.

6) Avoid exhaustion during sex. For me this was one of the biggest problems. I wanted to rock her world and would start slow for a few minutes but then it was like going all out for 10 minutes, and I mean going at it so hard I was drenched in sweat. I felt like I wanted to cum so fast that I had to just work it really fast and hard and nothing could be further from the truth. I was with this one gal and did what I just explained above, I was gassed in 15 minutes of sex and did not cum. She did like twice. I lay there for 5 minutes, breathing heavy and of course my wood went away. We started back up 10 minutes later and I was so relaxed when I went into her again, I ejaculated in like 3 minutes. So that got me thinking of a few things. It was either being so relaxed, that it made it easier, or that the sensitivity was greater by going slower. In all honesty, it's probably both. So now if I'm going out with a gal, I'll hit the gym and do an hour of cardio before I go out. It really relaxes the body and mind. And during sex, I'll take it slower and try to hit a rhythm instead of pretending to be some porn legend. I also am saying in the back of my mind, I don't want too cum to fast. This has the reverse psychological affect as what I used to be saying before (which was "I hope I cum"). You mind goes to where you focus is. You trick your brain that way. This way your not focused on if you will cum, you're tricking your brain into thinking you might cum too quickly.

These are things that have helped me out tremendously.

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Welcome to the gym azkeepnitreal!

Read this.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/beginne...cess-here.html

And this.

Physiologic Indicators (PIs) to Help Penis Growth!

Thank you for your addition to the DE thread, a few things that don't work for me that you mentioned:

I have never tried Saw Palmetto, but I nearly tried it years ago as it is supposed to boost testosterone. I have never come with woman on top, even though it's one of my favorite positions. I can get exhausted during sex after really going for it but erection never goes away, I just remain frustrated and horny.

I think relaxation definitely helps, as does running, squats though I struggle with, my legs and hips feel very stiff the following days even though I quite like the exercise, also I like boxing and the stiffness I get from weighted squats is counterproductive. Non weighted squats in place of reverse kegels though with a ten or more second pause at the bottom doesn't give me this. I have to start running again it's probably been a month since I last went!

Anyway thanks again and good luck PE'ing, stay safe!

[maladjusted Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close maladjusted]

Firstly can I say this is the most comprehensive thread I've ever read on the subject. I've trawled the net, and attitudes are so dismissive about this problem. It's almost not seen as a problem. Anyway, I thought I'd give my experience on this. I've had issues with this for some years now. Theses are the things I've noticed. As I'm about to reach PONR, I feel like my PF muscles are clenched. It feels impossible to release, without losing sensation. It's as if they're locked. I've avoided both kegals an RK for this reason. What I've found is that upon approaching the PONR, if I stop then quickly start, a few times, I ejaculate. This is only with masturbation tho. It makes me think that the PF muscles are perhaps over developed/too strong. I've also found laying of porn and masturbation helps, but I don't feel this is the true remedy. A couple of other points. I've never been quick, but as I'm getting older, I'm taking longer. I can ejaculate, inside a woman, DE is probably a problem 25% of the time. I have also been on SSRIs, when the problem became 100%. Missing 2-3 days of meds would result in PE. I've been off them 3yrs now, and can't help thinking they may have done long term damage. I'm also very aware of anxiety, and the likelihood of preemptively causing the problem. However, I do believe the over tensed PF muscles are the primary cause. I don't know how to go about weakening them tho. I've tried RK during sex, to no avail. I welcome any input. Thanks for reading.