Bigbook's Log and Journal - Starting my way to success and complete control

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

EDIT FROM 09/2017:

THIS LOG HAS 2 DISTINCT PARTS WITH A 2 YEAR BREAK BETWEEN THEM

1) PART 1 (POSTS #1 - #20) 04/2015 - 05/2015 - this was my first attempt to fix my PE - focusing mainly on yoga stretches, this attempt didnt work out due to me being lazy and not giving in the time necessary to get results - the info posted is still solid

2 YEAR BREAK WITHOUT PE TRAINING - 05/2015 - 09/2017

2) PART 2 (POSTS #21 onwards) from 09/2017 onwards - this is my second attempt to fix my PE where ill focus on K / RK and BALANCING PELVIC FLOOR

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All right i am starting a log / journal to keep me motivated. This will be my private corner on PEGym to post any significant findings along the way. I guess it will contain failures and setbacks as well as improvement and hopefully one day it will be crowned by success.

My goal is TOTAL CONTROL aka UNLIMITED STAMINA. No need to set mediocre goals. My future self can completely control ejaculation and can go on forever, as long as the lady wishes.

1) This is not a time limited "task" to fix my PE, but a lifetime practice. I believe that pelvic fitness should be maintained throughout life just like muscle tone or weight or healthy diet. I decided to approach pelvic fitness as an ongoing fitness regime that iam about to keep for the rest of my life as long as iam sexually active. Just like you dont grow and chissel abs once in your life and than expect them to stay perfect for the rest of your life. Pelvic floor is a set of muscles / ligaments / fascia, etc. that needs to be excercised periodically to enjoy lifetime of good sex. I plan to excercise pelvis at least twice a week for the rest of my life.

SO EXPECT THIS TO BE SLOWER PROCESS BECAUSE IAM NOT IN HURRY TO FIX MY PE IN 90 DAYS OR SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE THAT

2) As well as KEGELS and REVERSE KEGELS i plan to incorporate and switch between a multitude of "angles" to train my pelvic floor, including stretching using Yoga poses that target pelvic region as well as some Pillates excercises.

3) I also plan to use some "offbeat" techniques like Affirmations to help me keep going and maybe help a little bit with the Mental aspect of PE (the fear of failure, the overreactive imagination that can push me toward PONR)

[sexmaster Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sexmaster]

Congrats on starting your log, write regularly, it helps you keep motivated
I am still on the journey, but there are many here who succeeded. So shall we


edit:
do you edge? Haven't seen you mentioning it...

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

ok so every pelvis fitness must contain KEGELS and R-KEGELS... here are my pointers:

1) Iam doing them every even day (even days in month starting from 2nd are workout days - odd days starting from 1st are resting days - in some months you get both 31st and 1st as two resting days in a row - a bonus rest)

2) you need to give the muscles 1 day rest between workout days... muscles grow in the resting time, not in the workout time, when sore or broken fibres are "repaired" a stronger protein layer is formed...

3) I researched the setup of all the different muscle layers in the pelvic floor (i will post a PDF later when i put it together) and iam trying to differentiate between various flexes - like FRONT, MIDDLE, ANAL and various combinations... it makes it more fun and interesting and iam learning "control" as well as gaining strength... it may be too early but its actually more fun excercising than just "all flex", "all release"

4) With the muscle layout in my mind i use visualization when iam flexing / stretching. I literally envision in my mind's eye how the indivdual muscles contract and tighten down the pubic bone or coccyx... or how the pubococcygeus pushes up on the prostate... iam even trying to envision iam pulling or releasing some of those really specific muscles like Bulbospongiosus (i imagine iam squeezing it around my penis base) or the pair of Ischiocavernosus (i imagine iam pulling the penis shaft down with them)... its more of a wish and imagination than reality but i read somewhere that things like this help... it certainy makes it more fun and engaging when you are trying to think of various combinations of push and pull contractions of "various" pelvic muscle groups - even if its just imagined in your head...

5) This one is really cheesy, but some bodybuilding gurus believe in power of affirmations. They wont grow your muscles but they will help you stay on the regime for months on end. Building muscles is a long journey and you need MOTIVATION IN THE LONG RUN. More specifically your subconscious mind needs motivation or you will fail or self-sabotage your progress. Affirmations are said to be one of the best tools around to program you subconscious mind to pursue a goal and stay locked on the prize.

Iam using this affirmation before bad and in the morning:
"Iam so happy and thankfull now that i can pound forever and keep going and going dry as long as the lady wishes"

The bold part must stay exactly as it is. Thats the programing intro for your subconscious, dont change a word there. The italic part is the description of the goal in present tense (as if you already have it). You can vary the goal as you wish but its adviced not to use negative (don't, not) as cubconscious works in symbols and pictures and there is nothing like a "negative" picture... and preferably do not mention anything you dont want to be pictured in subconscious. So definitelly dont say:

"Iam so happy and thankfull now that i have no more urge to ejaculate during sex" - all subconscious will picture is "ejaculation during sex"...

6) I do most of K / RK during my morning commute in subway, standing, not sitting... whenever i remember i do one or two in work sitting behind my desk...

Thats all i can think of to begin with K/RK... if i remember more ill edit this post...

Next i will check some Yoga poses that stretch pelvic floor to mix with the K/RK

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

Congrats on starting your log, write regularly, it helps you keep motivated
I am still on the journey, but there are many here who succeeded. So shall we


edit:
do you edge? Haven't seen you mentioning it...

Edging will come soon... But i believe that some elementary muscle tone and stretching (Yoga) can be done even before i start edging... as i said iam not in hurry so i dont have to do everything at once... i set this to be ongoing routine for the rest of my life so this is JUST THE BEGINING and establishing some basic building blocks that will later be put together in a weekly routine that i plan to stick to for the rest of my life to have a fit pelvic floor in coming age... for now K/RK are the easisest to start with since you can do them for the rest of your life in all those blank periods of day (comute to work, boring meeting or class, waiting at the doctor, comute back home, trip to the country in train or bus, etc.) there is plenty of free and available time for K/RK for the rest of my life...

[sexmaster Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sexmaster]

What do you mean by going dry in the affirmation? I like the fact that you use affirmations, but they say your brain cannot make the difference between positive and negative statements (eg. it is better to stay I can last long than I don't have premature ejaculation)
I also don't think edging would interfere with your program now, so might as well start just right away. It can be too intense for you pelvic muscles though.

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

the word "dry" in the affirmation means i dont ejaculate or precum into my partner... i wanted to describe the state without using word "ejaculate" which brings up the symbol image of ejaculation / cum / squirt - stuff i dont want to come up in my subconscious... iam "dry down there" means iam in control of my sex fluids (cum, precum) coming out of my penis wihout my control... of course it doesnt mean she is dry or her vagina is dry hopefully exact opposite her jucies will flow like a river

edging will come shortly... without edging you dont train your brain control and you have no way to estimate your progress (since real sex is way too stimulating to use it as a measurement)... but currently i have almost no control of my K/RK... and thats the foundation for edging... so i want to condition my pelvic floor a little bit before i start edging and than continue K/RK & edging simulataneously later on...

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

Some more insights from my practice:

For me half the strugle is psychic motivation to stay on the routine so iam always investigating how to keep me motivated.

1) "There are no mistakes or failures, only feedback" - this is great statement i use a lot in my head... its that famous tale of Edison who tested 1000 types of filament in his electric light bulb before he discovered the one we use in bulbs today... he didnt take it as 1000 fails... he kept on going and getting feedback until he succeded... it tells me that i shouldnt be time and goal-oriented but rather focus on the process, take in the feedback and the results will come eventually... its a learning process... any setbacks are not really setbacks only "adjustments" along the course to the destination... i guess most people fail because they set a time on their goals... like "i have to achieve this in 90 days or its a fail" or "i tried it 5 times and it didnt happen so i am quiting" - instead of trying on and on and learning and adjusting according to the feedback...

setting time on goals creates a clear divider between success and "failure"... thats why i decided that pelvic floor sexual fitness will be my ongoing regime for the rest of my male life (see, no time goal - only the process itself is left)... whatever doesnt work out i know its not the end, its just another "feedback" or "adjustment" along the path... this may be just a mind trick but it helps me a lot with motivation... works for other goals too like bodybuilding...

combine with afirmations and you have a solid foundation to keep yourself motivated...

2) Another trick i read somewhere is instead of comparing your current progress with an image of future self (how i want to be when im finished) - THE IDEAL - you should LOOK BACK over your shoulder on how much you already achieved and how much you progressed from the begining of the journey... the logic is that FUTURE IDEAL is loooooong way ahead of you and it may be frustrating to remind yourself how much road is ahead of you... on the other hand looking back you should see definitive progress from DAY 1 and you should pat yourself on back seeing where you've been and how much you already changed... another danger is that the FUTURE IDEAL often progresses in your mind along with your gains... so as you gain strength and control you also increase your IDEAL GOAL and you keep doing this and you "never reach the ideal" because you keep raising the bar as you gain strength... this can get frustrating in your head because you are still looking forward to the HORIZONT and saying that you need to reach this HORIZONT but when you get there you look ahead and see the NEW HORIZONT that is still ahead of you in the distance... this way you can never reach HORIZONT (THE IDEAL FUTURE) because it grows and moves further with your gains... for that reason i should be keeping a paper journal where i log my daily excercises so i can see what I HAVE ALREADY DONE rather than what I STILL HAVE TO DO TO REACH THE GOAL (THE HORIZONT)

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

i started a paper diary to write down what i did every other day to help my pelvic fitness... i decided that on even days i will excercise or stretch and on odd days i will just relax and eat properly because muscles repair and rebuild (strenghten) itself on rest days... so you need proper nutrition to help quick recovery and strenghtening...

this diary is a motivation tool that will show me a history of how much i already worked on my pelvic fitness... its better to track down your past progress (your achievments) than your future obligation (the awaiting road towards a hypothetical IDEAL YOU)...

So far on even days iam doing K/RK throughout the whole day when i have a time.

I must be doing it right because i feel pelvic muscle sornes on the rest days and my small back (lumbar) is pretty tense as a result of contracting surrounding muscles as well as pelvic floor - this should be less problem with time when i learn to isolate only pelvic floor without flexing all my sacrum and surrounding muscles (ABS, GLUTES, PSOAS, etc.)

I also use Goal Affirmations as stated in previous posts.

Right now iam researching various stretching and massaging of pelvic / lumbar / sacral muscles and fascia so i will add them as i incorporate them into my routine.

When i have more time i will create that pelvic floor muscle plan in PDF. It helps me imensly to imagine visually in my mind the muscles contracting and moving as i do the K/RK... this mental flexing as well as actual muscle flexing combined really boosts the power of the flexes and releases and also makes everything more fun and engaging... its like a biofeedback game...

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

some great stretches

1) i do them completely naked and its a huge difference even to the most loose yoga pants... when you are completely naked there is no cloth sensation pulling or wrapping anywhere... your skin nerves dont register any sensations from cloth and your body and mind can really relax every inch of your body and give away to the gravity in most natural way without any disturbing sensations... try it 100% naked !!!

2) i cant do much yoga stretches on regular yoga mat or any harder surface because my spine and lumbar feels like grinding against rock... my spine, back muscles, knees need much softer surfaces... the best surface i find to perform relax and stretch excercises is large shag rag with thick woolen strands lying on a hard floor... it gives solid support but its much softer on your back muscles than typical yoga mat and it is also pleasantly warm all the time... second best surface for me is our bed with 190 x 190 cm japanese futon filled with cotton only... its the hardest variant with only 2 layers of cotton... its more cushiony and wobbly than the shag rag but its still pretty firm and very gentle to your spine vertebrae, sacrum and knees...

3) for some stretches is quite pleasant to rock up and down or left right or circular in that pose... sort of massaging your internal organs and "kneding" and rubbing your muscles against the surface... it should feel pleasant like a massage... this is impossible for me on a regular yoga mat... my spine would probably crack and i would scream in pain with every move if i would try to rock my lumbar and sacrum on a yoga mat but on the shag rag with thick woolen strands or the japanese futon filled with cotton only its actually very pleasant and soothing stretch and massage of my spine and back and i look forward to it... its relaxing...

Balasana yoga pose - very relaxing and soothing
1) do it with legs shoulder-width apart and let your scrotum and belly hang between your legs
2) this pose benefits from being 100% naked because even loose yoga pants will wrap around your ass and pelvic floor preventing 100% relaxation and also the belly is tightened by your pants waist-line in this pose so belly cant relax and sag completely between your legs to give you full abdominal and bladder relaxation, also without pants the scrotum hangs loose aiding in ligaments and ischiocavernosus relaxation
3) you can feel the pelvic floor and anus spontaneously bulge out in this pose as if you were taking a shit or fart
4) breath into your pelvic floor and let it bulge out on in-breath
5) the version with stretched out hands over your head is most pleasant for me because it takes some strain of your neck compared to the version with hands beside your body
6) for me staying in this pose for longer periods is dependant on my knees comfort so i definitelly require the shag rag or futon (see above)

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

Upavesasana - pretty strong stretch - the "super squat" - can be held for longer periods even by beginners with few twists
1) again definitelly better done 100% naked to eliminate any cloth wraping, pulling, waistband tightness, etc. - done 100% naked your scrotum can hang free and you can feel unrestricted bulging and letting go especially in the front pelvis around scrotum and penis and front pelvic bone
2) its easier to do this supporting your back against wall - its not proper yoga form but its easier for a beginner or with back weakness and can be held for longer time giving more stretch to pelvic floor... get a sleeping pillow between your spine and the wall to cushion if your spine hearts against hard wall...
3) for me the trickiest part was when leaning against wall my feet tend to slip forward on most surfaces... but slipping my trusty heavy shag rag with thick woolen strands under my feet provided a steady non-slipping surface to dig my feet and heels into...
4) you dont have to push the knees apart too much - the arms "pray position" is certainly not absolute must... stay comfortable
5) with the back supported against the wall i can watch TV like this the back is relatively free from strain while the pelvic floor is stretched to the max with this asana - get a full season of your favorite sitcom or tune to a standup comedy TV channel and enjoy watching while sitting against the wall

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

another modality i will incorporate for the rest of my life:

INTERUPTED URINATION - whenever you go pee, do this:

1) let your stream go full force - in your head count to ten in normal pace
2) stop your stream completely and hold - in your head count to ten in normal pace
3) let your stream go full force again - in your head count to ten in normal pace
4) alternate holding and pushing of stream in blocks of 10 counts in normal pace

- very easy to do, doesnt prolong the peeing that much, very discreet even in mens room...
- typically i get 4 stream lettings and 3 holds during one pissing

start ====||||=====||||====||||===‒‒‒--- end with last drops

- so you are getting -4 PC stretches (RK)- and -3 PC holds (K)- for free every time you piss - very convenient and handy... accumulated over life time its thousands of K/RK...

- now the only thing left is to REMEMBER to interupt peeing everytime you go to toilet... too often you just absent-mindedly use a toilet and think about other stuff and just after flushing you realise you forgot to do the excercise...

[Nobudy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Nobudy]

Dont do that ever my friend !! It will make you bladder infection!!!. Dont mess with you urinate, let it go freely, and if you want to practice on something do that:
Every time you going to pee let the stream go out and when it finish teach yourself not to squeeze at the end (kegel), just shake it till you finish !

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

why would interupted urination cause bladder infection ? whats the logic behind your warning ?

the final kegel after urination (squeezing out the last drop) is a hypothesis that was discused on this forum and although it seems interesting to me i dont see any valid research to its effectivity in curing PE - its just an idea... i think trying to eliminate every pelvic contraction from human life is not going to fix your PE... KEGELING is not evil if its counterbalanced by R-KEGELING and overal fitness of pelvic floor muscles and adjacent muscles groups (glutes and abs fitness seem to be also playing large role in pelvic fitness because they act as balancers and counter-weight to pelvic muscles)

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

The concern I have with this idea is that stopping the urine flow is something of a action you would do only when you really have. It also seems to put an undue strain on the bladder as well which long term might cause problems, though I have no evidence to support this. If you continue doing this in about 5-6 months we might have an idea what are the long term effects, but you do that on your own risk.

As for the kegel after urination, I have been doing that all the time and other than just helping to improve observations and break some habits I did not see how it might adversely affect premature ejaculation in general, since the involuntary kegels one should overcome happen during masturbation/edging/sex and not during urination.

[bigbookofpenis Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigbookofpenis]

let everyone decide but for me kegels and reverse kegels during urination shouldnt be a problem for realitevly healthy guy in his 20's - 30's... i dont shut the urine flow abruptly (not cutting it in 1 sec with massive kegel) i rather suck in the muscles slowly in a gradual kegel ramp and hold for 10 and than release them in slow ramp-down of the contraction and let it flow for 10... i will see in 5 months...

i wont go for eliminating the "last drop kegel" because for me thats a minor problem that wont fix your PE... i must focus on the big influences first - PELVIC KEGELS/R-KEGELS, STRETCHING, EDGING, BREATHING, PSYCHE, etc.