I have found out the damn secret! Please, if you have PE, this may help!

[feelgood Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close feelgood]

Where to begin?! I just literally made this account 5 minutes ago so that I could share this ridiculous discovery I just made.

I am 20 years old, and I've had premature ejaculation since I was 14, I think, but have been masturbating since 11. I experienced PE today, but, about an hour ago, it was gone. I jacked off, and I felt so in control. I usually cum in like 10 seconds, but I kept going, about 2 minutes. I think I could have gone more, but I had to get up and do stuff. Yes, yes, I know, I have to try it again tomorrow to really prove I have cured myself, but I'm so confident that I have, and I will update you guys later this week.

Anyway, I bet you're wondering what I did to cure my PE. Let me first start off with everything that I thought was the cause of my PE. As a kid, I always masturbated with my foreskin over my penis head, I never pulled it down, but about 2 years ago, I started to always jack off with my foreskin pulled down. I thought that that could be a cause, because maybe I had conditioned myself so much with cumming with my foreskin not pulled down. Also, I thought it might be because (and you guys have heard this one so much already) I would always masturbate fast to not get caught, and maybe I had conditioned my body to ejaculate so quickly. Now I know it's cause of none of that. Now let me talk about how it's not because maybe my PC muscle was weak. Let me tell you straight up, my PC muscle is pretty strong. I'm able to orgasm without ejaculating by flexing my PC muscle as the orgasm happens, I am able to ejaculate without orgasm (even though the need to cum does not go away, and I am still prone to blow my load afterwards) by doing a reverse kegel, and recently, by just staying calm and really relaxing my PC muscle, with no need to do a reverse kegel, although this one is really hard.

So yeah, I've read how kegel exercises have helped some men with their PE, but I know a weak PC is not my problem. I've also tried edging, and yes, it makes the orgasm so much better in the end, but that hasn't helped either, although I have to admit that I didn't really dedicate myself to some sort of edging routine. So what could be the damn cause of my PE?!

I've always suspected it was a psychological issue. I've tried a numbing cream before, and I still blew my load fairly quickly. Actually, I remember 2 weeks ago, after coming home from work, I was feeling extra good about myself, with a lot of confidence, and in the shower I was masturbating, but I didn't blow my load in 10 seconds like usual. I just kept stroking away, telling myself "Damn man, I've got this!" and when the urge to cum came, I just told myself, "No I want to keep going!" the urge actually went away! I think I was stroking for a good 5 minutes until I had to stop, cause I needed to cum then. Yes I know, 5 minutes still isn't much, but it was for me. My penis felt sore from all that hard stroking! So is this your secret, you are probably asking? Not quite. I'm pretty sure you guys have read about how giving in to the pleasure and not think about cumming has helped some guys gain control of their ejaculation, but that still wasn't that key to my control. I knew it was something beyond that.

Okay, I'm going to admit, I've gone to some massages with happy endings. Now, why am I telling you this? Because a lot of times when I go get a massage, even at ones without the happy ending, when I flip over to be facing up, I would shiver easily. Beside being a cold-sensitive person and getting cold easily, I know there was something else making me shiver, I know I anxious or nervous. Sometimes I thought it was maybe because I was thinking "Oh man I wonder if there will be a happy ending" (sometimes they tease you but they don't give you the damn happy ending). I'm sure that had a little to do with why I was nervous and shivering, but it was something else deeper inside my head. GUILT.

Okay, so I've been a Jehovah's Witness my whole life basically, not officially since I was never baptized (thank the stars, or else I wouldn't be able to talk to my family right now, because of ex-communication), but you know, I still believed basically. I started to participate in the door to door preaching since I was 11, but this year in January of 2015, I became agnostic, I told my family and everything. So as a JW (Jehovah's witness) you can't really get too close to anyone that's not a part of the organization, like you can't really hang out with "non-believers". I could have made many great, lasting friendships, but no, they went to waste because I didn't really bother to truly hang out with any of them. Anyway, I am saying all this because today I just realized, that deep down inside my brain, I am telling myself "What you are doing is bad", that sex outside of marriage is bad, masturbation is bad, socializing with people of the "world" is bad. Two hours ago, I realized this, and I started to tell myself "No, what I'm doing is nothing bad" I kept saying it "What I'm doing is good. There's nothing wrong with it; There's nothing wrong with sex, there's nothing wrong with socializing and having fun out there."

I speak of the socializing part because about 2 months ago, I went to a rave with these 2 guysImet during work. It was my first rave, and yes, I could tell that the place we went to didn't feel like an authentic rave, and also, yes, I am still pretty shy and uptight, so I didn't really let loose and enjoy myself there. Now I know that it wasn't cause I am shy (maybe it had to do with some of it) that I didn't let loose, but because I still had that damn guilt in my mind that "what I was doing was wrong", that socializing with people of the "world" is bad. I had to get that out of my brain. I have to keep telling myself "What you are doing is nothing bad, sex isn't bad, sex is good!!!"

So when I started to have that mentality, I tried jacking off,I didn't blow my load in 10 seconds, and I felt in control of my stamina, and on top of that, my penis seemed and felt extra hard, with extra blood in it. I will definitely update you guys on this to see if this will truly be the key to solving my PE. It felt like my problem was a physiological one, but deep down inside, I knew it was a psychological problem, one to do with guilt, due to one's religious background. To me, the Bible is not God's word, so why should I still feel shame? I have to keep saying "There is nothing wrong with what I'm doing". So maybe your PE cause could be of a psychological one.

Try it out, really analyze what is pulling you back, why do you cum so quickly? I'm sure this was the problem with me, like maybe my brain was telling my body "Oh no, this is not good" and so the body reacts and tries to end my masturbation/handjob session, and what better, or only way for that matter, than to make me ejaculate to make me lose my libido and discontinue the act? So maybe you have a similar problem, and in the very end, your deep conscious is thinking that what you are doing is bad, and reacts by making you ejaculate right away to discontinue the act, but you have to let your brain and body know that it's okay! Really convince yourself that what you are doing is good, telling yourself "Sex is good, not bad". I'm having high hopes that this is the answer to my PE, and also other problems of my life.

I know this part of the forum is supposed to be solely for PE cure discussions, so excuse me if I started talking about other aspects of my life, but I found it important to speak of, because it had a lot to do with the cause of my PE. I know this is a lot, but I wrote all this to hopefully help others find out why they have PE, and to fix it. I will keep in touch with you all soon!

Edit added on 10/06/15: Just one more detail, remember to keep breathing in and out through your nose too! I've always had a problem with this back then.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

OMG ! Thats a Wall of text; hard to read.

Please edit to create paragraphs, a <CR> here and there will work miracles.

People will be more likely to read your post that way.

[feelgood Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close feelgood]

Oh man! Yeah I had a feeling I should have done that, will do that now. Thanks for the tip!

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Ok so guilt was a major factor in your pre e and the guilt was caused by religion .
Glad you worked it out and there may be other guys in the same situation.
A wall of text does put people off though .

[feelgood Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close feelgood]

Oh yeah, I fixed the wall of text a little. But yeah, I just changed my mentality this afternoon, and I really feel like that's my answer and it helped me when I tried jacking off this afternoon. I will definitely update you guys on how it turns out for me the rest of this week.

[aBone2pick Senior Member Member of the Month July 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close aBone2pick]

Great post. I think what you are suggesting is also the reason that a huge number of women can't orgasm.

[feelgood Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close feelgood]

Oh yeah, definitely! That also crossed my mind, the reason why some women can't reach orgasm. It's funny how it's the other way around for them

[zutsu401 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close zutsu401]

Interesting!!

[feelgood Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close feelgood]

As promised, I will now update you guys on me fixing my psychological issue.

Well, today in the morning I kind of failed, let me explain. So I decided to give it another shot, I told myself that "there is nothing wrong with what I am doing, there is nothing wrong with sex or masturbation" and I started to jack off. Now, I didn't blow my load in 15 sec like usual, but it was very short still, only 1 minute. Let me explain a few details as to why this happened. (Just as a side note, I jacked off with some oil as to simulate actual sex better; I usually jack off dry, but still with a lot of pressure)

Now, keep in mind that when I test myself, I stroke on full blast because I want to truly beat this at maximum capacity (if that makes sense). I can go slow and go for a good while if I wanted, but that won't truly test my limits and it won't help when the time comes to get a handjob or have sex. So with baby oil, I started stroking super fast. Now, a reason why I didn't last longer than 1 minute was because I wasn't really horny to begin with, I started stroking while I was still soft, you know, to actually get hard (and yes I started counting my time once I was fully hard). So, even though I was trying to let my sub-conscience know that "It was all okay, that this isn't bad what I'm doing", I pretty much kind of forced myself into masturbation, so sub-consciously, my brain was probably thinking "Oh man, this is bad, I need to end this", and that is probably why it ended in 1 minute. Also, combined with what I just said, I was probably not trying my best at letting my brain know that sex/masturbation isn't bad.

Also, just to let you guys know, I ended up ejaculating. I usually don't ejaculate often anymore (I used to ejaculate like twice a day when I was 13), probably only like once a week, but when I tried this in the morning, I kept on going at the end even though I was close to PONR to see if I could ignore it and actually continue, but obviously it didn't work. Also I had ejaculated the day before, but anyway...

So a while ago, at around 1:25pm, I tried again, but this time with a more open mind and relaxed state of being. Now, this time I prepared a little better. In the morning, I just went straight for it, while standing up in the bathroom before taking a shower. This time, I grabbed a towel, laid it on my bed, got the baby oil, got comfy, and laid on my back with my pants down. Again, I wasn't really feeling horny in the beginning, I wasn't hard, but this time I didn't go straight for the dick. Using the oil, I massage myself around my groin, upper thighs, and my balls. After a while doing that, I kind of got in the mood, and I had a good erection. So I started.

This time went a little better, and I found that saying the following instead yields better results, "There is nothing wrong with being sexual". I dug a little deeper and found out that another aspect of my guilt was that my sub-conscience was thinking that it is wrong to be a sexual being, that feeling that sexual pleasure is bad, so instead of letting my body be in that plateau where I am not in PONR, but in the middle actually enjoying the pleasure, it ends it all by making me ejaculate right away. So I was telling myself "There is nothing wrong with feeling and enjoying this pleasure!"

Again, I didn't last long, only 2 minutes (and this time I refrained myself from getting an orgasm at the end), but this time I actually found myself enjoying the feeling, the plateau in the middle that is before PONR. Now, I also realized that I need to start incorporating this way of thinking when the time comes to have sex or get that handjob during one of my massages. I started to fantasize about getting a happy ending massage and getting jacked off by my masseuse, and I kind of felt my PONR coming on, but I started to say "Wait, but there is also nothing wrong with being sexual with others, nothing wrong with being sexual FOR others" and that helped me last a little longer.

Now, I'm not sure if some of my causes of my PE has to do with the physical, but I am most certain that 90% of it is psychological. I will keep trying to better myself psychologically, and I will keep you guys updated soon

[feelgood Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close feelgood]

Okay, this week I have ejaculated almost everyday trying out this technique. I don't know why I have gave in, I can usually fight the temptation and normally only ejaculate once a week. But anyway, I am certain my problem is psychological. I have noticed a little improvement since trying to erase my guilt, but I have not yet been fixed. I need to last as long as I'd like! I think my psychological problem has been deeply rooted deep down inside my brain.

I read a post by someone on here saying how they stopped all masturbation and sex for 3 whole months, not touching their dick in a sexual way at all, not once, to let the natural way of being come back, to reset everything, to let those wet dreams come naturally. I will definitely try this out starting right now.

I've had this idea in my head for the longest time now, and it really does make sense. Also, I think what causes me to ejaculate so quickly is stress, other than the guilt thing probably causing me stress. I feel like I have too much cortisol in my body. Within these three months I will try to bring down my cortisol levels. So it's settled, no more masturbation or anything for 3 months. I want to reset my whole system. If I fail and give in, I will let you guys know!

No man should have to concentrate so hard to try and not ejaculate. We should all be able to enjoy sex and make that feeling last. That should be the point, not to ejaculate as soon as possible to end it all; that should be the reward at the very very end.

I wish everybody out there luck with this curse. No man should have to live with this dreaded "disease".

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

I wish everybody out there luck with this curse. No man should have to live with this dreaded "disease".

While irritating and for many probably soul crushing, having premE and trying to fix it made me a better, more understanding and overall more devoted person.

It taught me to enjoy the journey as much as the end goal (if not even more).

It taught me the benefits of hard work and discipline.

It taught me to live with my shortcomings, overcome what I can make peace with what I cannot to the best of my ability.

It taught me how to observe myself and others to a much greater degree.

It taught me how to appreciate physical activity, strength, flexibility trough workout.

It taught me how to be self-critical and understanding at the same time.

It taught me patience.

It taught me that with proper mindset perceived shortcomings can be turned into benefits (turning my sensitivity into soft wave orgasms, turning my fast approaching PONRs into DOs).

It taught that letting go, can rob the psychological part of the problem of power. When you stop being concerned about having premE but still work out it to improve it for the sake of working on it, you progress faster. If you work on exercises just for the sake of getting stronger or looking better you will not last as long as the person that like to do the exercises and enjoys them.

It taught me to learn how to enjoy myself better.

It taught me how to love and appreciate my body.

It taught me more about my body then I would have ever learn without this problem.

And probably so much more that I am not even aware.

Yes, it is irritating and even soulcrushing when you ejaculate for seemingly no reason, when you cannot pleasure your beloved to the fullest extent of your desire, when after a sudden breakthrough one single bad sessions threatens to undermine everything you have worked hard for, when you realise that you know nothing about how your body works.

But the feeling one gets, when a solid, steady progress is made, when instead of mere seconds, one can last minutes and even hours, when one experiences an overwhelming amounts of sensual pleasure just because one took the time to experiment and become better at a simple act of masturbation/edging. And finally, when one brings pleasure to the beloved as a result of all that work makes it worth every single second spent working to fix that problem or better said, improve upon a current situation (if it is even worthy to call it a problem anymore).

In my eyes it stopped being a curse a long time ago and became a blessing of sorts.

Though, I would tell a lie if I told that when a (very) bad session happens I am unmoved, but whereas before I would be frustrated and defeated for days, nowdays I get angry for a little while then just shrug it off, or sometimes even just shrug it off.

I hope that this has helped to motivate you in seeing this for a journey (and often times struggle) that it is and not just a bump in the road of your life.

[feelgood Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close feelgood]

Minuteman, thank you so much for your words! It really means a lot, not just for me, but for everyone on this forum.

Now, I actually have a new plan! I won't be restraining myself for 3 months anymore. I actually found out something else now! I won't spill the details right now, I need to see if it truly works first. My new plan makes so much sense!

What I have in mind makes even more sense than the restraining yourself for 3 months plan! Along with the psychological problem of guilt, this idea in my head involves both the physical and mental! I will keep you all updated soon

[DickerSchwanz Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close DickerSchwanz]

Often a psychological problem turns physical and it takes some time for the physical to change again to the tune of a different mindset. In that case keeping focus on the new mindset and the fitting behaviour helps for the body to "get it"

[feelgood Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close feelgood]

Okay, so I think I got carried away and now I am noticing that it's half and half, 50% mental and 50% physical. I discovered something else in my training that actually might be the missing key to my pre-e. I'm so sorry about going back and forth on my thoughts. I've realized that I might have been taking the physical aspect of all this for granted recently these past few months. I've read threads from this website since 4 years ago, and I've really enjoyed reading all that I have read. Now I would like to contribute and speak about my success with defeating pre-e when it happens soon, and I'm positive that I will beat this soon

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

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