Broken image of reality

[Dzordzi Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dzordzi]

I was trying to catch up on the thread, but read this question.
It is a bad plan. The reason is it is you that has the issue. So even if you avoid all of us totally you are still carrying around the issue inside you. You can't hide from you hard enough for the issue not to find you. It is your perception that has you imprisoned.

I have to disagree. Sometimes to overcome problem it is the best to let it take control of you because when you reach bottom only thing you can do is to rebound from it (I am not sure if this word is correct. I mean jump from the bottom to the top). He needs time to calm down his "soul" and for this, being around harming him indicators is not good

At least I see it this way (It worked for me )

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

I was trying to catch up on the thread, but read this question.
It is a bad plan. The reason is it is you that has the issue. So even if you avoid all of us totally you are still carrying around the issue inside you. You can't hide from you hard enough for the issue not to find you. It is your perception that has you imprisoned.

I appreciate your concern, but what I honestly feel is that my perception isn't wrong, but my attitude is. If there is something I see will leave me permanently frustrated and unhappy and I can't change it, then I avoid it. Out of sight, out of mind. What I enjoy doing will eventually become all I see, and I will forget what made me unhappy. I can't warp my mind enough to convince myself that what I'm seeing is not the truth, but I can simply look away, and look at the things I like. I think I'll be more satisfied that way.

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

I have to disagree. Sometimes to overcome problem it is the best to let it take control of you because when you reach bottom only thing you can do is to rebound from it (I am not sure if this word is correct. I mean jump from the bottom to the top). He needs time to calm down his "soul" and for this, being around harming him indicators is not good

At least I see it this way (It worked for me )

I'd say you see it fairly well. Being around things that harm me will do me no good, I'm just glad I have something that I can dedicate myself to that allows me to permanently avoid the things that harm me.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

I get it, I really do. I spent 2 years inside myself. Not letting anyone in. I really, really, really understand. I even support the idea. If that is what makes you happy. I only argue with you because you are blaming others. You think others won't accept nor love you because you are short. It just isn't true. Do this for you, and I agree. Do this based on your judgement of how all the rest of us think and I disagree. Here was my mantra when I was doing that which you speak of. It is old, but says it very well.


https://youtu.be/PKY-smJ6aBQ

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

I get it, I really do. I spent 2 years inside myself. Not letting anyone in. I really, really, really understand. I even support the idea. If that is what makes you happy. I only argue with you because you are blaming others. You think others won't accept nor love you because you are short. It just isn't true. Do this for you, and I agree. Do this based on your judgement of how all the rest of us think and I disagree. Here was my mantra when I was doing that which you speak of. It is old, but says it very well.


https://youtu.be/PKY-smJ6aBQ

I really appreciate how closely you seem to be taking my case. Thank you.

When you say I don't think others will accept me or love me for being short, you're right. I don't think they will. I think they will never see me to be worth as much as someone who is taller. I think the most they will ever show is pity. I don't think anyone will ever willingly and happily be with me if they have a choice of being with someone else who is taller. I don't want hypocrites and liars around me. I don't need that, and most importantly I don't want that. And I am completely fine with it; this morning I woke up less anxious, and with an ever so slightly better mood, so I'm gonna take that as me finally making the right choice. I'm just really glad I have somewhere like a gym where I can escape to and feel so much better.

PS: You have great taste in music, I love Simon and Garfunkel and I love that song

[Undead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Undead]

Women that like assholes are honestly just setting themselves up for a life of being disappointed by the asshole they're with. People date people who they think they deserve. Insecurities and self-image are a large part of who we end up dating. The "out of my league" mindset is usually pretty garbage. Unless there is an absolute universe dividing your circumstances, then that statement is usually one born of insecurity.

As for the girls that like tall guys, who gives a crap? Let them like tall guys and date someone that doesn't care. I am more than short for a guy. I'm 5'4". I haven't let that stop me from dating anyone. I've dated girls shorter than me, girls that are the same height, and girls that have been way taller than me (5'10" was the tallest I've dated and she liked wearing heels). If a girl doesn't want to date me because of my height, that is 100% her choice and none of my damn business. People like who they like and nobody should get butthurt because not every guy or girl on the planet finds you attractive. That's just the way of the world. There are plenty of other guys or girls that would be happy to be with you. Life is just too damn short to waste your life being mad that someone isn't attracted to you like you are them. Get over it and move on.

i hate to say it but your right, in my opinion any girl that is shallow enough to agree with herself that she likes assholes is pretty much a recipe for disaster. But im confident that in time they will realize what they really like. Sometimes assholes are actually nice guys but thats not always the case if you know what i mean.

[Undead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Undead]

Great thread btw, feels nice to see many people agreeing and having a logical conversation and inputs in this madworld lol.

[discreet Senior Member Member of the Month May 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close discreet]

... in this madworld lol.

Mad World; Tears for Fears - 1983. A fantastic song. That entire album was rather poignant!

In fact I'll listen to it today on the way to work.

[Undead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Undead]

One of my favorite of all times!

[Dzordzi Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dzordzi]

I get it, I really do. I spent 2 years inside myself. Not letting anyone in. I really, really, really understand. I even support the idea. If that is what makes you happy. I only argue with you because you are blaming others. You think others won't accept nor love you because you are short. It just isn't true. Do this for you, and I agree. Do this based on your judgement of how all the rest of us think and I disagree. Here was my mantra when I was doing that which you speak of. It is old, but says it very well.


https://youtu.be/PKY-smJ6aBQ

I didn't caught it so much before. So we were just speaking about 2 different things

[Frog Senior Member Member of the Month March 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close Frog]

Great thread btw, feels nice to see many people agreeing and having a logical conversation and inputs in this madworld lol.

I was thinking the same thing. I really hope this place gets back to more of this. Great dialogue with so many passionate opinions and insight, is how I ended here in the first place.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

That's how you started here. Hopefully you never end here.

[Frog Senior Member Member of the Month March 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close Frog]

^^^

Thanks Wish!

[DarkMedic Senior Member Member of the Month April 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close DarkMedic]

I've asked this question before and I am asking you as well now. I don't think things are quite as simple as you've described above unfortunately. But I can tell that there may be something I can take out of it. I've decided to stop dwelling on things that make me unhappy, as has been suggested before. For me, this involves keeping interaction with others to the very minimum required for survival, i.e. stuff like basic services, like going to a store. It's the only way I'll stop bothering about how other people see me and being vulnerable to other's opinions, if the 'other people' factor disappears from my life. I want to focus on things that I can enjoy, such as going to the gym and workout, or PE.

As people seem to consider social interaction a basic part of being human, this will not be an easy task, but how can I make this easier on myself?

Isolating yourself is going to do the opposite of what you want it to do. You aren't really talking about fixing the problem at all, you are trying to hide from or mask the problem. Being alone with your misconceptions will ensure you never dispel this MYTH you believe. You won't find much helpful perspective avoiding humanity. Your height is not your problem.

I can't believe you are limiting yourself so strongly by height. If it's such a big issue for your mind then find a short girl until you reconfigure your outlook on women. What do you have to say for men who are not tall but have no issues navigating life and relationships with women? Are we doomed? I'm with Bateman. I'm 5' 6" and I don't give a fuck how tall anyone else is. Women like me, and it's not because of any singular physical attribute.

Your are conflating simple with easy. You should work on yourself as a whole. Your life will improve drastically. You want to dismiss my advice, but I promise you that gradually building up your entire being is the answer. There are no instant fixes here. You say you like sports and working out. Do those things and stay focused but don't hide. If you need to, immerse yourself in what makes you happy. Focus yourself on personal goals and find a new outlook.

You sound like you have some things going for you but you literally can't see it because you are fixated on one single attribute. You are generalizing women beyond any helpful analysis.

[DarkMedic Senior Member Member of the Month April 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close DarkMedic]

when you reach bottom only thing you can do is to rebound from it (I am not sure if this word is correct. I mean jump from the bottom to the top). He needs time to calm down his "soul" and for this, being around harming him indicators is not good

it is you that has the issue. So even if you avoid all of us totally you are still carrying around the issue inside you. You can't hide from you hard enough for the issue not to find you. It is your perception that has you imprisoned.

If you have to hide out for second and do some self reflecting then do it. But this is no permanent solution. It's merely a step or a short rest before you go back in and face the problem. You will creep back out again I promise. Hopefully with a new focus and direction.

I've been there before. After a very hard time I was left damaged and had to recover. But it is my personal opinion that taking the time to rest your soul can lead to delaying things longer than you need to find peace. It is easier than continuing to feel beaten down, but you have to get back in the ring and fight eventually. Make it productive and initiate change while you're "on break". Hit the gym hard. Start new goals. Don't prolong it enough to gain bad habits and become accustomed to easy going.