Girlfriends Sexual Past...

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

I'll make this short because I agree with a lot of what you said.

I also operate on a "don't ask, don't tell" mindset when dealing with a woman's sexual past. Ultimately, the number doesn't matter to me, because I don't know the full context behind it.

What matters to me is attitude. This is obviously a generalization, but FOR THE MOST PART, I would never date a woman who slept with me on the first date. I won't have any reservations "having fun" with her, but I want my SO to have the quality of self-control. It has nothing to do with how experienced she may or may not be sexually. I completely agree that I would rather have a woman free of inhibitions in the bedroom.

Free of inhibitions but full of self control.
You guys are silly. If you don't want sluts don't be a slut. If you want a partner with self control have self control. Ridiculous. I'm 52 next month and I've been with 5 partners. I regret the huge number. I dream I could have kept it to 1.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Op, I consider her at negative 40. If her number rises to your number then fine. Until then you are over the line and need to be marked foul.

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

I'll make this short because I agree with a lot of what you said.

I also operate on a "don't ask, don't tell" mindset when dealing with a woman's sexual past. Ultimately, the number doesn't matter to me, because I don't know the full context behind it.

What matters to me is attitude. This is obviously a generalization, but FOR THE MOST PART, I would never date a woman who slept with me on the first date. I won't have any reservations "having fun" with her, but I want my SO to have the quality of self-control. It has nothing to do with how experienced she may or may not be sexually. I completely agree that I would rather have a woman free of inhibitions in the bedroom.

I've never had a "litmus test" for dating. I've had INCREDIBLE SEX in ONS on occasions, and there's also been a few "intoxicatingly sensually teasing" females whom I've been fortunate enough to be "inticed" by, that were well worth the investment of time & energy to pursue.

But there has to be an unspoken "mutual understanding" that it WILL HAPPEN, and we BOTH know it, on the front end. Sometimes the "chase" and lust for delayed gratification is a mutually exciting part of those type women that I too enjoy! It all depends on "timing" and the woman!

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

OP I wonder how your gf would feel if she read your initial post??

If we all had said "what a slut", would you had ended your great relationship?

I still don't understand the difference at 9 being ok and 10 causing this negative thinking in you. Such a small margin.

Please just accept the number and forget it. It's the past, look forward to your future together.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Yeah but OP is number 10. He's responsible for putting her over the edge. Never to recover. Always tainted by OP.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Yeah but OP is number 10. He's responsible for putting her over the edge. Never to recover. Always tainted by OP.

That made me smile Wish.

Seriously, I don't know if people see how much of a oxymoron this is!!

So men what to shag loads of women but the women mustn't of had loads of men....

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Moderators don't count.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Oh Tamora.... your anfreebie. Give us a kiss, luv.

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

Moderators don't count.

OK, I rest my carrot..er..ah, CASE!

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

I would have chosen you JITB, but your number is way too high for me.

[Wolf71 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wolf71]

I can almost guarantee my GF has had more partners than I have. I don't know, don't care. She's mine and loves me. Don't blow it.
Wolf

[MG1992 Member Find all posts View Profile Close MG1992]

I can almost guarantee my GF has had more partners than I have. I don't know, don't care. She's mine and loves me. Don't blow it.
Wolf

Yeah some people just don't care. Not sure why. Some do. I do. I have my options wide open for me. Not gonna settle

[P.I.E. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close P.I.E.]

Free of inhibitions but full of self control.
You guys are silly. If you don't want sluts don't be a slut. If you want a partner with self control have self control. Ridiculous. I'm 52 next month and I've been with 5 partners. I regret the huge number. I dream I could have kept it to 1.

Lol. Why are we pretending like all of these things are mutually exclusive? Equality and individuality? Self-control and free of inhibitions?

Someone can absolutely show self-control for not sleeping around (girls and guys) while still losing themselves and their inhibitions behind closed doors with their partner.

I do have self control (unless tequila gets the best of me), so ya, I expect that out of my SO. Like I said, I have no problems with having fun with girls who don't have that type of self control. And ultimately, I don't ask about how many partners a girl has had if I'm genuinely interested in her. If she gives me the impression that her number is high (for example, by sleeping with me on the first date), I tend to lose interest for something more serious. If she gives me the impression that her number is low, it makes me much more interested in having a future with her.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Alright gentlemen (and gentle ladies) this Hijack of this members thread stops here. Start your own side comments in your own thread and let this OP have a conversation about his situation. You all have muddied the waters enough to bend his view of what needs to be done.

From this point forward, if your post is not directed to the OP and his situation, I will be selectively deleting those posts. Please understand that hijacking threads in against forum rules. Please help us keep decorum around here.

[halcyon_ Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close halcyon_]

I know I know. Still...just bugs me. But like I said I really don't think she is. It's just the number bugs me. But I think it's just cause she's my GF. So it's hard to imagine others being there. But that's life. Every hot girl that's that fun to be around and at that age is going to have a past.

Out of those 10, 3 boyfriends, 1 she said was kind of a boyfriend, she doesn't consider it one cause she says it didn't last long enough officially, and 6 guys she was with without being in a relationship with, but she said each of those guys she took her time with, went on 3-5 dates, and had discussed exclusitivity first. But they just didn't work out. She said due to either ex's coming back, social media, lose of interest, and it just simply not working out. She says sex for her is very very emotional, she just can't do casual sex, no one night stands, said she's never had a fuk buddy or friends with benefits. She'll only have sex wjtha guy if she can see herself dating him. Which like I said, finding 10 guys in 13 years that you'd like to date is pretty selective and picky. And YES, I do believe she's telling the truth with all of this. Like I said, she's been incredibly honest with me about so many other things that she reallyyy didn't need to tell me but she did. She's literally one of the nicest people I've ever met. If she lied to me, I think she'd eventually regret it so much she'd have to come forward. That's the way she is

This sounds like she's normal in today's culture.