weird story of how i met a girl..and am now in love with. and some questions

[rimlas Member Find all posts View Profile Close rimlas]

My other little info is don't push for a web cam, don't make straight forward moves like those, it's clear that she doesnt want that, this is once again just my advice to you let her make the move on you keep her interested but let her make the move.

They've been conversing for years, I'm not sure that keeping her interested is even an issue. Wanting to talk with the girl he loves face-to-face shouldn't be a problem unless there is an underlying issue.

What could be wrong? Well, she could be a hideous beast, the result of generations of inbreeding and superfluous amounts of fatty foods. Whether or not looks matter, this would still make her a liar.

I suspect the OP is probably worried about this as well, unconsciously ofcourse. And not to pick a bone with you Virtigo but you're only encouraging denial.

[mistydawn Banned Find all posts View Profile Close mistydawn]

And not to pick a bone with you Virtigo but you're only encouraging denial.

I agree. I am not trying to pick bones either.

If you are happy how the relationship is, you don't care if it goes into real life, then continue and be happy. I say that sincerely. There are all kinds of relationships. IF you want this to go into real life, after 2 years it is time for webcam. You said she has trust issues...you'd think she'd want to webcam to see if you were for real! Think about it.

[Learntolift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Learntolift]

first let me say anyone reading this please read the update i have at the end of this message

i understand what you are all saying and agree with a good amount. i know i cant explain it all to you, but believe me when i say she isnt hiding anything, and i know for a 100% fact what she looks like. like i said i cant explain how i know cause theres just so many things i couldnt begin to explain, so i just need you all to simply accept those couple things haha.

but honestly it is genuinely because she is a very weird girl, she really is. and i think virtigo hit the nail on the head saying she is scared i may not be what i seem like in person. we are still really getting to know each other every day, in smaller and more precise ways. but she has said herself shes just nervous and doesnt wanna do anything until shes 100% sure it cant fail...even though i told her thatll never happen, anything has a chance to fail. you just have to believe and trust itll work out.

and misty i agree with you too that she would wanna see if i am for real. but like i said she is just weird as hell and she is kind of insecure when it comes to me i even asked her and she admitted it. but shes trusting me more, and i think even webcamming makes everything so much more real, and is almost like a new step or level in our "relationship" and shes just scared of moving forward. like her whole extended family died and she never dealt with it properly, shes all weird about death now and she sees taking new steps forward in life such as this as one step closer to the final end. but w/e i've dealt with that lol.


but here is an update for you all: right now im trying to get her to come out next weekend and shes at least considering it and we will see, but here is something VERY promising....

i go to usc, and we are in the final 4 mens volleyball which is mkay 5th, championship may 7th...guess where it is being held? PENN STATE. where does she go to school? PENN STATE. naturally i brought this up to her and you could hear the excitement in her voice and she said she couldnt stop smiling. she said lets talk about it later to make sure she feels the same, cause she changes her mind a lot or w/e? but i just asked her and she still is "all smiles" as she said. and what im gonna say is im coming no matter what to support our team and my friends, i know a lot of guys on the team, whether she wants to see me or not (she will if shes there) the only problem is that's mothers day weekend so idk if she goes home, ill ask of course. but yeah i think this is very promising, she said shes just gotta think about if shes ready to start a relationship cause if we do meet up and all that, itll be a whole new beginning and she wants to make sure she is ready for that (she has a huge issue with the distance, even though thats only an issue for a while). but yeah any thoughts on this new situation? how i should approach it maybe? any advice?

[mistydawn Banned Find all posts View Profile Close mistydawn]

First, you said she was gorgeous, so I'm assuming you've exchanged photos. But, have you had a conversation via webcam?

Second, I think you should look into the facebook issue a bit more. Not adding you as a friend doesn't make any sense, then again, neither does that retarded argument she started.

Finally, It sounds like she's misleading you. Has she objected to any visits from you?

Edit: ooops, didn't read the part about refusing to webcam. Now, I'm willing to bet she sent you pictures of her hot friend. And she can't accept your facebook request because it's not her account.

Just tell her you don't want to speak to her anymore unless you speak face to face, either in person or online.

After 2 years she won't even do webcam! One of my best friends trusts nobody; even he would do webcam by 2 years time!!!

I am not saying blow her off necessarily as I get that you are fine with the way things are. If this level of a relationship is working for you, then stay with it.

[Learntolift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Learntolift]

she knows i want more and to meet up but shes not completely ready..idk she does thing soooo slow, and i know it seems like shes not interested, or is hiding something, but trust me shes more interested in me than anything else in life and isnt hiding anything. its just so frustrating to have to wait when its like we are both ready...

i just dunno what to do...like i want it to work out but it keeps getting drawn out how long am i supposed to wait even though i genuinely love this girl than i love myself? i cant spend my whole life waiting...ive told her this and she says stuff like 'i never asked you to wait for me..and if you cant wait i completely understand.."

[Learntolift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Learntolift]

Edit: ooops, didn't read the part about refusing to webcam. Now, I'm willing to bet she sent you pictures of her hot friend. And she can't accept your facebook request because it's not her account.

Just tell her you don't want to speak to her anymore unless you speak face to face, either in person or online.

we talk a lot through facebook messaging so it is her account, and her profile was public for a while so its definitely her. plus shes taken countless pictures for me when i ask and etc

[mistydawn Banned Find all posts View Profile Close mistydawn]

plus shes taken countless pictures for me when i ask and etc

This is good to hear.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Hmmmm, I don't know man, this is actually a tough one.

I guess what strikes a nerve with me is that you keep referring to her as "weird". I guess my first question to you is, do you REALLY want a weird chick?

My second thing here is I've read pretty much all of this thread and while I understand she had her heart broken by the guy before you but come on, that was 2 years ago give or take and she's still hemming and hawing over whether or not to come visit you despite your many requests for her to do so? I'm of the mind set that if she were as into you as you say she is, she'd have made that trip to visit you by now.

I know you say you two are in love with one another and I do believe it is fully possible to meet someone online and fall genuinely in love with them. Where I'm having a problem is the numerous requests you've made to her to come visit for this, that or the other and she's either said "no" or blown you off with an excuse. That just doesn't sit well. Something's up with her and I believe it goes deeper than simple trust issues.

[mistydawn Banned Find all posts View Profile Close mistydawn]

I guess what strikes a nerve with me is that you keep referring to her as "weird". I guess my first question to you is, do you REALLY want a weird chick?

I am a "wierd" chick. I take offense, but it's not the first time I have come across this kind of thinking, won't be the last.

[Learntolift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Learntolift]

mrbigdick lol yeah i love who she is so it doesnt bother me the things she is weird about

and i agree the exact thoughts have flown around my mind for so long...but in her mind visiting me means starting a relationship and moving forward and she doesnt know if shes ready for all that because of distance and she knows she will miss me to death once she leaves and she will just feel like sick all the time w/o me.

and that is a concern with me too that theres something else going on, how can it not be a concern? i guess shes also concerned with trusting me because of our past and how i could just up and not talk to her and be 'over' her for a while in the past, althought its different now, and i guess ive lost my temper a lot cause i have a short temper and it concerns her, blah blah..

but what do you think i should do to find out if there is something else going on? ive tried everything i can think of from directly asking her to trying to find out in a more subtle way...i just dunno what to do cause im so deeply invested in this i cant just drop her, i want this to work out more than anything

[Learntolift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Learntolift]

omg things just got so much worse..

we had an argument over literally nothing the other night and i like flipped out, on the phone, which wasnt good. and it was over something so stupid and she claimed its cause i dont trust her when she told me it was nothing, which it was nothing. but its not that i didnt trust her, i just wanted to know, its a long story. but then i brought up something from the past that she did, and so now she thinks ill never be able to let it go and im not over it, but i AM over it and i only brought it up cause it was relevant, which i told her that just now..

but shes being all negative about EVERYTHING between us now, saying shit like "i am realizing how things are with you.." and being all depressed and emo-like...i cant talk to her she wont listen to what im saying even though she says she is. im just saying to her like wow, well im sorry you seem to be forgetting about all the countless good things we have together...shes just like "i have so many more concerns now, so much more to think about"

like wtf shes overreacting SO much i cant deal with this right now..making something out of nothing..idk what to do..

btw shes on her period like idk i feel like thats also causing her to overreact to everything

heres what i just said to her..
"i can see this isnt going anywhere, you are being 100% negative about everything and sabotaging this in your head so i'll let you go. im sorry you seem to have forgotten about the countless great, amazing, perfect things we have together.
im hurt you are dismissing everything we have...i take it i wont be seeing you out here next weekend.. . have a good weekend alex"

and all she had to say to that was "Bye Matt..." and messaged me again saying "i feel like this whole thing is falling apart"

[rimlas Member Find all posts View Profile Close rimlas]

$20 says they make up and then she starts another argument right before the championship game.

[Learntolift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Learntolift]

rimlas you seem like you may be on to something...and while i know what ur doing, can you please explain what you mean so i can fully understand from another person?

[rimlas Member Find all posts View Profile Close rimlas]

I think she is toying with you. Whether she is who she says she is or not, she's definitely fucking with your head.

[Learntolift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Learntolift]

fucking with my head in what way? do you think she is serious about us?


what would you recommend i do??