Voluntary celibacy

[Thick_Unit Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thick_Unit]

Anyone ever heard of someone doing this? Just pretty much deciding that they are going to abstain from sexual contact with the opposite sex.

Not Voluntary here.


Doh.

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

Let me give you an example to show that this is a horrible idea,

I played football in highschool and there was a lot of pain and suffering, getting done a game and reaching for biofreeze and advil.
I also had a ton of fun both on and off the field and had a huge group of friends to help me out.

Apply this to relationships,

Sometimes you will get rejected, insulted, slapped (if you try really hard, it takes effort trust me), lied to, laughed at, embarrassed, honestly ran out of ideas at this point but I'm sure theres more.

However you will also get sex, sex, more sex, occasionally you'll probably be in love, sex, cuddling, sex, spooning, sex, romantic walks on the beach... followed by sex, laughs, sex, laughing while having sex, sex. You see my point, theres a lot of good mixed in with the hurt, like sex for example.

Now in all seriousness I dated a bunch of girls I thought I cared A LOT about, now looking back I had lots of fun, they were great to be with and it hurt like hell when what we had going went wrong, a few of them hurt me purposefully, others I drifted apart from but I still had lots of fun with them and it outwieghs the bad by A LOT.

Regards
Cdn

Pretty good point. I played ball too, but I didn't try too hard there either lol

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

SBE: Yea i here ya. But if you can somehow make yourself happy alone, aren't you then truly happy?

BW: I understand where you come from too. I dunno though, for some people it probably does work out better than whatever heartache etc comes from trying.

And for all, this is just a thought. I DO want relationships and all, just thinking.

That's the crazy thing, my G; when you get used to getting yourself off, you then end up getting used to being the only person able to get yourself off. When you get with a girl, you may end up being distracted by her sounds and moans. You may be a little put off by having her face not bounded by a "Media Player" box... not being able to see the obscene closeups of the naughty bits, etc.

Don't get too comfortable by yourself. May hurt you in the long run.

Not trying to scare anybody, but I had it happen to me. When i got bored of sex it got harder for me to cum. then I stopped sex for a while, and when i went back to it, I couldn't cum because the women just annoyed me. Get with a girl you're attracted to and you may be able to dodge those problems.

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

That's the crazy thing, my G; when you get used to getting yourself off, you then end up getting used to being the only person able to get yourself off. When you get with a girl, you may end up being distracted by her sounds and moans. You may be a little put off by having her face not bounded by a "Media Player" box... not being able to see the obscene closeups of the naughty bits, etc.

Don't get too comfortable by yourself. May hurt you in the long run.

Not trying to scare anybody, but I had it happen to me. When i got bored of sex it got harder for me to cum. then I stopped sex for a while, and when i went back to it, I couldn't cum because the women just annoyed me. Get with a girl you're attracted to and you may be able to dodge those problems.

Wow. I can't imagine the moans not being awesome. But thanks for the advice bud.

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

Wow. I can't imagine the moans not being awesome. But thanks for the advice bud.

Trust me, when I used to get these women off 3 and 5 times before i even got mine, I almost became resentful to them. Why are they getting so much more out of this sex than me. used to distract me more than anything because I didn't care about them, i just wanted to get a nut. it was mutual because they didn't care about my pleasure so i was on my own to get my nut. which also kinda made me upset... If i'm on my own to get a nut, why not just masturbate (i've had this thought while having sex before)

i've always lasted pretty long and for them to not care about my nut and making so much noise, it was like 'UGH shut up!' got to the point I had to drown them out with my thoughts. LOL!

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

Trust me, when I used to get these women off 3 and 5 times before i even got mine, I almost became resentful to them. Why are they getting so much more out of this sex than me. used to distract me more than anything because I didn't care about them, i just wanted to get a nut. it was mutual because they didn't care about my pleasure so i was on my own to get my nut. which also kinda made me upset... If i'm on my own to get a nut, why not just masturbate (i've had this thought while having sex before)

i've always lasted pretty long and for them to not care about my nut and making so much noise, it was like 'UGH shut up!' got to the point I had to drown them out with my thoughts. LOL!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH. i get ya now bro. Yea if I didn't care about the girl then yea I would rather just get my nut off lol

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

Went out last night for my birthday. Had fun. But, I'm thinking this voluntary celibacy is going to go into action. I mean there were lots of girls out just looking for dudes. Me? I just had a kinda disgusted feeling.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

I've been celibate for about 4 years now. There have been the odd exceptions ... girls who have thrown themselves at me so hard that it was impossible to say no.
But for the most part, I do not try to attract women and usually pass on their advances.

I'm a smart, intelligent, funny guy. Girls typically show a lot of interest in me, and I can see it. I'm not being boastful ... It's just how it is. But for the last 4 years, I've had a problem: i don't want people in my life.
Maybe I'm depressed... but when I'm with a girl, all I can think about are things that really turn me off. When i get down to having sex, I'm thinking "is it over yet?"
I think about the guys she's been with, and I can picture her enjoying them more. It's a total turn off.
And I realize it's a self fulfilling prophecy ... The more I think about her enjoying other guys, the worse I'll perform, and the less she'll enjoy me. I get that. I just can't help it. I mean, there's more to it than that. This is just one of the things running through my mind.
I don't know what my problem is.

I'm in university now and I see hot girls EVERYWHERE. I *know* I have a decent shot at the ones I'd like. But I'm scared. I don't know what I want. I don't want a relationship, but I don't want a one nighter either. I'm still thinking about everyone else she's been with and... I feel inadequate. I feel that she probably has more experience than I do since I've taken such a long break from intimacy.
There's more to it than that... but this is a big one.

I know things need to change. I'm well aware that I won't get any better in bed if I don't get out there. (not that I'm bad in bed ... but my feelings about it won't change unless I change my actions.)
But it's so hard to bring myself to get out there. I'm GREAT at first impressions. That's how I reel a lot of girls into wanting me. But, the more I meet people, the less I want to be around them.
I don't like that about myself and I don't know how to change it.

So, I've been abstaining from sex and being alone, hating it. Maybe I need to find a new avenue for meeting people. I don't like bars/clubs/drunk girls.

I'm pretty sure a lot of guys are calling me a pussy right now. But it is what it is.

But i'm convinced being abstinent is a bad thing. Maybe it is healthy to take a break for a short while.... but the 4 years I've gone without intimate touch cannot be good for me. I don't recommend doing it for too long.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

Went out last night for my birthday. Had fun. But, I'm thinking this voluntary celibacy is going to go into action. I mean there were lots of girls out just looking for dudes. Me? I just had a kinda disgusted feeling.

That disgusted feeling is just how I feel a lot of the time.

Happy birthday, by the way !

[mrmark Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mrmark]

Went out last night for my birthday. Had fun. But, I'm thinking this voluntary celibacy is going to go into action. I mean there were lots of girls out just looking for dudes. Me? I just had a kinda disgusted feeling.

Please don't be serious about celibacy,just watch some hot porn then go for a night out and you will be gagging for it,there are loads of women out there and i am sure some will be up for a bit of fun?

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

That disgusted feeling is just how I feel a lot of the time.

Happy birthday, by the way !

Yea man. Thanks.

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

Please don't be serious about celibacy,just watch some hot porn then go for a night out and you will be gagging for it,there are loads of women out there and i am sure some will be up for a bit of fun?

I'm dead serious. I know there are women I could get. Like I said, in bars there are drunk horny chicks everywhere. But, I don't need to fuck some slut who doesn't care about me.

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

This is going to be harder than expected. I am so horny.

[kterry Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kterry]

sexual transmutaion

is the excerise of redirecting sexual energy into something creative other than sex. if you have interest in looking into this further go to www.templerepair.com

Kim

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

I've been celibate for about 4 years now. There have been the odd exceptions ... girls who have thrown themselves at me so hard that it was impossible to say no.
But for the most part, I do not try to attract women and usually pass on their advances.

I'm a smart, intelligent, funny guy. Girls typically show a lot of interest in me, and I can see it. I'm not being boastful ... It's just how it is. But for the last 4 years, I've had a problem: i don't want people in my life.
Maybe I'm depressed... but when I'm with a girl, all I can think about are things that really turn me off. When i get down to having sex, I'm thinking "is it over yet?"
I think about the guys she's been with, and I can picture her enjoying them more. It's a total turn off.
And I realize it's a self fulfilling prophecy ... The more I think about her enjoying other guys, the worse I'll perform, and the less she'll enjoy me. I get that. I just can't help it. I mean, there's more to it than that. This is just one of the things running through my mind.
I don't know what my problem is.

I'm in university now and I see hot girls EVERYWHERE. I *know* I have a decent shot at the ones I'd like. But I'm scared. I don't know what I want. I don't want a relationship, but I don't want a one nighter either. I'm still thinking about everyone else she's been with and... I feel inadequate. I feel that she probably has more experience than I do since I've taken such a long break from intimacy.
There's more to it than that... but this is a big one.

I know things need to change. I'm well aware that I won't get any better in bed if I don't get out there. (not that I'm bad in bed ... but my feelings about it won't change unless I change my actions.)
But it's so hard to bring myself to get out there. I'm GREAT at first impressions. That's how I reel a lot of girls into wanting me. But, the more I meet people, the less I want to be around them.
I don't like that about myself and I don't know how to change it.

So, I've been abstaining from sex and being alone, hating it. Maybe I need to find a new avenue for meeting people. I don't like bars/clubs/drunk girls.

I'm pretty sure a lot of guys are calling me a pussy right now. But it is what it is.

But i'm convinced being abstinent is a bad thing. Maybe it is healthy to take a break for a short while.... but the 4 years I've gone without intimate touch cannot be good for me. I don't recommend doing it for too long.

It sounds to me like you need to start by just being friends with some girls. I mean, you don't seem to view us as people who might be attractive for reasons other than sex. If you see us all as foreign objects, it's no wonder that you are turned off. Part of why I enjoy sex so much is that I enjoy men in general -- male personalities, quirks, ambitions, senses of humor, and so on. Get out and just try to have some fun with girls as people, and perhaps something will click with one for you.