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Completely Discouraged
Last night my girlfriend basically told me that I have a small dick and I don't last long enough. Of course these weren't her exact words, but I'm not stupid. It all started when I told her that I wanted to try something new like bondage because we needed to mix it up. She took this as me saying that I don't enjoy "making love". I do, but that doesn't mean I should want to do it every single time, right? You can't have chicken for every meal. So her, being upset because I was "hiding something from her" (wtf?), said something to the effect of "Well you're not gonna tie me up just to last a few seconds. Besides, you know we can't do all the positions (my penis size being the hindrance)". I was dumbfounded that she would say something like this to me, especially since I don't criticize her small boobs or complain that I do all the work during sex. I've been doing PE as well as Kegels for some time now so that I can improve both of these problems but after she said that, I'm not sure I can recover (I know, I sound like a complete pussy). It's not that I can't recover ever, just not with her. These two things will always be in the back of my mind and I'm doing this for her. Now I feel like it isn't even worth it. Maybe I should just find someone I don't NEED to do PE for. What do you guys (girls, too) think? She hasn't even apologized.
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16Man up and continue doing PE to prove her wrong25.00%4Leave since she's so inconsiderate of my feelings68.75%11Break her down too0%0Just not care12.50%2The poll is expired.
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She was brutal and very rude towards you. I can feel your pain. First of all. Did you start doing PE before or after you met her? And had she ever said anything like that to you in the past?
SkyR.Start: 20/June/2012 (1st start):
BPEL: 17cm (6.69")
MSEG: 12.5cm (4.92")aprox
Current(28/July/2013)
BPEL:19.9cm(7.83")/NBPEL:17.5cm (6.89")
MSEG:12.7cm (5.00")
Current goal:NBPEL:20cm(7.87")
MSEG:14cm(5.51")
Relentlessly forward, without regret, pain or forgiveness. -
What size are you? Maybe she's exaggerating the problem.Started: 7 x 5
Current: 8 inches x 6.25 inches (whole shaft)
Goal 8.5 x 6.5
Pics. https://www.pegym.com/forums/members...8-56-46-1.htmlComment
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@Sky Runner
I started after I met her because all of the guys she had been with before were much larger than me (or so she says, she's not very good with estimating length). Since I knew this, I resorted to PE to improve what I had. She's made jokes in the past but I never got offended because I even make jokes about myself sometimes. This was no joke however. Even worse is that she lied about being satisfied for all this time.
@Danny A
Somewhere around 6". I'm not small by any means, but I'm still not big either.Comment
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Don't PE for anyone but yourself. IMO, find someone new.You never slow down, you never grow old!Comment
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I didn't vote in the poll because there was no option for what I would do.
Dude, your girlfriend said that out of insecurity, out of defensiveness. She even told you why she said it: she thinks you don't enjoy making love with her any more. It's not what she meant; it was said out of insecurity and defensiveness, and it isn't about you. It's actually a reflection of her and the way she thinks of herself.
She wants attention, she wants affection, she wants to feel worthy and worthwhile. Give her that. Give her your love, your affection, your attention. Show her that those things were, are, and always will be there.
I've learned that I can't get what I want by trying to force it on people. Forcing it will ensure that I won't get it. First I figure out where the other person is coming from. I align myself with that person, I hear their concerns, I make them feel heard, valuable, worthy and worthwhile. Because they are. And then after all their thoughts and concerns are out, and I've listened intently and made sure I understand them, then I say my side.
First empty the glass, let her say everything she needs to say. Listen like her words are made of gold. Then once it's empty and she has nothing else to tell you, you can fill the glass with whatever you want.
Starting (3/14/2011) = 5" x 4"
Current (7/16/2013) = 5.75" x 4.125"
Short-Term Goal = BPEL 6"
Long-Term Goal = 7.5" x 5.5"Comment
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This. Read it three times.Originally posted by Qarzan View PostI didn't vote in the poll because there was no option for what I would do.
Dude, your girlfriend said that out of insecurity, out of defensiveness. She even told you why she said it: she thinks you don't enjoy making love with her any more. It's not what she meant; it was said out of insecurity and defensiveness, and it isn't about you. It's actually a reflection of her and the way she thinks of herself.
She wants attention, she wants affection, she wants to feel worthy and worthwhile. Give her that. Give her your love, your affection, your attention. Show her that those things were, are, and always will be there.
I've learned that I can't get what I want by trying to force it on people. Forcing it will ensure that I won't get it. First I figure out where the other person is coming from. I align myself with that person, I hear their concerns, I make them feel heard, valuable, worthy and worthwhile. Because they are. And then after all their thoughts and concerns are out, and I've listened intently and made sure I understand them, then I say my side.
First empty the glass, let her say everything she needs to say. Listen like her words are made of gold. Then once it's empty and she has nothing else to tell you, you can fill the glass with whatever you want.
Also, when discussing other bedroom games, such as bondage, talk about how you want to get more creative in the bedroom rather than how you find "the same ol'" getting old. Remember that bedroom games are activities you experiment with together, and if she isn't interested in one, you shouldn't do it. Go over some options with her, and look into some bedroom activities you could both enjoy. Ask her if there is any fantasty in the bedroom she has always wanted to try, even if she's been a bit embarrassed to mention it before, let her know you won't judge.
In terms of her criticisms, they are things you were already working on so who cares? Qarzan put it nicely. It was said with the intent of hurting you, because SHE felt hurt. She said those mean things because she knows those are aspects that are important to you, not because they are important to her."If you want a log you need to keep a log." - Tinkerbell
"I wish I was average height with average hand size." - thenewdudeComment
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Dude, she said that cause she was hurt and mad...there's more ways than 1 to kick a guy in the nuts and women know this...Originally posted by legend47 View PostStarted: 7 x 5
Current: 8 inches x 6.25 inches (whole shaft)
Goal 8.5 x 6.5
Pics. https://www.pegym.com/forums/members...8-56-46-1.htmlComment
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^this... She took it as the sex with you two is boring and not good. Her instinct was to attack your penis size and stamina. Talk to her about this and tell her that bothered you. I don't know if you get off quick but maybe it is because she is a great sex partner. If she is, tell her that is the reason you get off quick. Because is that good. Talk this out before you write her off. Girls are sensitive to sex more then guys. Good luck12-5-11 --- 7-4-14
5.9 6.1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9 7.1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9
4.7.8.9 5.1.2.3.4.5.6.7
Beginner's Guide-What to Expect
The League Of PE Legends
2014 Make Your Dick Bigger Challenge!!!Comment
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I would leave here. I have been in a very similar situation before. After a bit of a fight I forgot about it, but I found myself thinking about it every time we had sex. A month later we broke up anyway.
Someone who loves you doesn't say such things.Comment
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I tell you. After being with someone insensitive enough to say and give those types of reactions - you get out. Once they are allowed to make that comment, it usually gets worse because they are developing a comfort zone for degrading you. She might look at it as she is being totally honest.Comment
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@ legend47:
I am very sorry to hear that. Please, if there is anything you need do not hesitate, I will do my best to help you.
SkyR.Start: 20/June/2012 (1st start):
BPEL: 17cm (6.69")
MSEG: 12.5cm (4.92")aprox
Current(28/July/2013)
BPEL:19.9cm(7.83")/NBPEL:17.5cm (6.89")
MSEG:12.7cm (5.00")
Current goal:NBPEL:20cm(7.87")
MSEG:14cm(5.51")
Relentlessly forward, without regret, pain or forgiveness.Comment
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1) What she said was wrong. "Two wrongs don't make a right". You hurt her and scared her. We women are a pile of emotions. In my younger years, my husband made me feel like a sperm bank. He was only there long enough to deposit his load.Originally posted by legend47 View Post
When you cum, do you just cum? Do you warn her your close? Do you pull out before PONR so you can keep going? Does she orgasm? Do you talk to her about what she likes?
My husband never asked any of these things!!!
2) Do you two talk openly about your sex life? Likes and dis-likes? Walk around the house naked? Oral on each other with the lights on? Make sure she has her needs met?
If my husband after using me as a sperm bank, not being concerned about my enjoyment or pleasure, then asked me about bondage? I'd fucking freak out!
3) Find someone else? Only you know how she treats you. Only you know how you answered the questions I listed above.
Love is hard to find!
I wonder how much of this is age, self esteem, lack of communication and ignorance on both your parts on how much you hurt each other. Do PE for you! PE is no different than jogging or lifting weights. PE is control and health. PE will help you if after 5 minutes of sex your ready to blow your load.
TALK to her in a neutral non-confrontational setting, like a beautiful botanical garden.....Talk to to her!!!!!!! Fuck what society says that men don't cry and men don't show emotion. Be real, be yourself....let her read your post if you have to just make sure, whatever decision you make it is based on facts and reality, not misconception!Last edited by Frog; 06-18-2013, 04:39 PM."A negative mind will never get you a positive life.”Comment
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Well, you have heard many suggestions and all have some merit to them. I have to agree what she said was very hurtful and I also agree that she most likely said it in reaction to what you mentioned. Also you need to realistically look at the situation. She may have said what she did only due to ignorance. She may have a totally screwed up view of what really happens when enjoying a little BDSM. You don't need to get into any totally twisted positions in order to enjoy it. Porn has twisted many peoples idea on what really goes on. You both need to sit down and talk about it calmly and be perfectly honest with each other on what you desire, what you are afraid of, what needs changing if anything, etc. I can tell you from personal experience that after getting into BDSM that it helped me to last a lot longer than before. Maybe just due to being more comfortable with myself and what I was doing. Also she will be able to enjoy your time together for longer periods because you won't always be having intercourse during that time. You will be doing other things to her that will drive her wild to the point she will be begging for you to enter her and you won't need to last long anyway since she surely won't. But with time you will be able to last as long as you want and that will help during those more vanilla sex times.
Some people suggested just dumping her. One thing to consider before throwing in the towel is how much time you have devoted to each other. Have you been together for a year, 5 years, or longer? Do you just want to throw that time away without trying to figure out what she really meant? Do you want to start over with someone else just to have to get used to their quirks and insecurities? Do yourself a favor and speak to her.
The Mrs and I have been loving the BDSM lifestyle for quite some time and are more than willing to help you and your lady in any way we can. Please feel free to ask anything you wish.Bondage.
Some people call it domestic violence.
We call it foreplay.
Got cuffs? GAME ON!
My routine and gains.
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Yeah, I love what Frog had to say. I agree it is mostly a communication break-down. I also love what MR.L4M said. Good for you suggesting bondage. I recently tried it with my wife, after 12 years of marriage. We love it. Actually my wife enjoys it much more than I do.Originally posted by legend47 View Post
For the first time you try bondage, you are just going to get used to it. I suggest tieing her up and just touch, kiss, and feel her all over. Try tickling her. If she likes it, throw in foreplay. Maybe you don't fuck her at all. Maybe you just spoil her until she LOVES getting tied up. Which she will. There is just something erotic and exciting about a women being submissive by an assertive man.
Don't laugh, but we had to slow down on the bondage because she was getting bruises on her wrists and ankles. Ooops."with great EQ, comes great responsibility"Comment
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