Hypothetical Question: Possible Remedies for a Sexless Marriage?

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

According to the latest statistics, there are over 42 million American couples currently living in a sexless relationship. In truth, it's actually becoming a world-wide epidemic. So that got me thinking (always a dangerous thing )...

What would you recommend to a couple – where everything was perfect in their marriage – the finances, child-rearing, friendship, compatibility - but with one glowing exception…sex was no longer wanted (for whatever reason) by one spouse. Accepting that sex is a biological need, which of the following would you recommend to the spouse, who has now been placed into forced celibacy, do?

A) Remain in the marriage and simply engage in solo sex?
B) Discretely take on a lover?
C) Open the marriage up: where their sexual needs are met by another with his/her spouse’s approval?
D) Regularly hire clean, reputable, high-end prostitutes or male escorts?
E) Be content with sexless companionship?
F) Get a divorce?

[WantGirths Banned Find all posts View Profile Close WantGirths]

According to the latest statistics, there are over 42 million American couples currently living in a sexless marriage. In truth, it's actually becoming a world-wide epidemic. So that got me thinking (always a dangerous thing )...

What would you recommend to a couple – where everything was perfect in their marriage – the finances, child-rearing, friendship, compatibility - but with one glowing exception…sex was no longer wanted (for whatever reason) by one spouse. Accepting that sex is a biological need, which of the following would you recommend to the spouse, who has now been placed into forced celibacy, do?

A) Remain in the marriage and simply engage in solo sex?
B) Discretely take on a lover?
C) Open the marriage up: where their sexual needs are met my another with his/her spouse’s approval
D) Regularly hire a clean, reputable, high-end prostitutes or male escorts?
E) Get a divorce.

For the sake of argument...these are the ONLY choices available…so what say you?

Well... I am very sexual, if this were a long term thing, I think I would probably have to get the divorce.
I might try C, but a lot of that connection with your partner comes from sex with me. I express myself in a very physical way, not necessarily sexual way although it often is. If I couldn't be physically passionate with my wife I imagine it would make things very difficult for me. Even If I could get my sexual frustration out with another person I would still feel a huge lack. Sex can be meaningless and fun, but it can also be very emotional for me. When I am with someone I love I just want to be inside of them all the time, I want to be as close to them as possible, and you can't get any closer than that.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Divorce.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Sorry dear but my answer could not be boxed in one of those choices. But if you want to know what I'd do just ask.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

This is a tough one honestly. If she had medical reasons I would stay with her and whax it up like a shiny red Corvette.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

I'll quote something I recently heard

" If you don't put out, YOU'RE FIRED
I don't care what age you are, there are plenty of 20 year olds ready to grab a friend and play ping pong with your balls."

Realistically, if the passion in the bed has died out, there are other problems going on in the marriage. Someone doesn't just suddenly stop getting horny.

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

Easy question for me TPW. I lived a sex-less marriage for 10 of my 13 years of marriage. I know exactly what I would do, because it is what I did:

A) stay married and do solo sex.

At first glance one might think, oh (A) is the best answer. But (A) is a terrible thing. It started with me being sexually shy, back in the day. So solo sex was perfect, for a shy dude, because I could stay in my safe "shell". Sadly, it was my solo sex that lead me into the depths of porn. Even worse, it was also my solo sex that satisfied sexual urges resulting in me neglecting my wife for a very long time.

I thank God porn causes problems. Porn eventually and inevitably gave me chronic ED and DE. And one day, all on my own, I woke up and said NO MORE! I am sick and tired of not being able to fuck my hot wife. That was Nov 2012. It was that day I began my PE journey of no porn, PE exercises, and foreskin regeneration.

Fast forward to today - the wife and are happier than ever. We enjoy frequent sex on a regular basis. I want to thank mostly my amazing wife - for her super-human loyalty and strength to not leave me. I also owe thanks to myself - for having an epiphany and then the discipline and follow through to to the right thing. And last, but not least, I want to thank TPW - she personally took us under her wing and taught us, at the speed of light, how to re-discover our passion for eachother.

Thanks TPW! Sorry my answer turned into a testimonial. Oops. It's just that I was one of those 42 million Americans, so I have first hand experience.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

if I knew, without a doubt that sex was off the table for duration of the marriage...yet knowing that the couple was highly compatible in every other regard...I would choose "D" - hire a professional prostitute/male escort.

In my opinion...

A) solo sex would not be enough to satisfy long-term.

B) Although many European cultures have no issue with taking on a lover (In France, they call it cinq à sept), I think the guilt and deceit would be difficult to handle.

C) An Open marriage, where sex is the only thing "open" is a definite possibility but there is always a risk of emotional bonding to occur, which can be difficult to diffuse.

D) Hiring a professional call girl/male escort would keep the act strictly sexual, discreet and with little risk of emotional entanglement

E) Sexless companionship would perhaps satisfy the intimacy issue but not the sexual need.

F) Divorce: If everything else in the marriage is perfect...why throw the baby out with the bath water?

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

This is a tough one honestly. If she had medical reasons I would stay with her and whax it up like a shiny red Corvette.

Hey BigO...for the sake of argument...the spouse is healthy; just no longer interested in sex.

I'll quote something I recently heard

" If you don't put out, YOU'RE FIRED
I don't care what age you are, there are plenty of 20 year olds ready to grab a friend and play ping pong with your balls."

Realistically, if the passion in the bed has died out, there are other problems going on in the marriage. Someone doesn't just suddenly stop getting horny.

Not necessarily Toadstool...sometimes the passion fizzles out for far simpler reasons yet the marriage is healthy.

Sorry dear but my answer could not be boxed in one of those choices. But if you want to know what I'd do just ask.

LOL Cusp...since when do you answer the question presented? But please go ahead and answer the hypothetical question as you would like.

[WantGirths Banned Find all posts View Profile Close WantGirths]

I don't think the marriage could be healthy for me if that were the case.
I am young a long ways away from getting married, so who knows how I will actually feel by then, but I'm too insecure and horny for that shit to not really mess with me.
I get bothered if my girl goes a week without wanting sex from me. If she never wanted it I would feel like shit and feel it was my fault. Like I wasn't sexually attractive anymore or something.
Plus I would just go crazy having a wife I couldn't have sex with.

I am very french about sex i guess. I personally don't see the issue with sex with people outside the relationship. as long as it is only sex. Even though sex is very important to me I truly care about the emotional bond. As long as that is unaffected I don't care what you do outside of the relationship. few people are able to have sex without a risk of compromising that emotional bond though.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Ok my answer; something got broken. My wife no longer wants sex for whatever reason. So with that in mind then I stay, go to work, still have fun, barbeque, do my thing and just be what I have always been without the sex. Would I like it? No but at times that's they way things work. I'm just not a solo sex type of guy.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Ok my answer; something got broken. My wife no longer wants sex for whatever reason. So with that in mind then I stay, go to work, still have fun, barbeque, do my thing and just be what I have always been without the sex. Would I like it? No but at times that's they way things work. I'm just not a solo sex type of guy.

Cusp...so what you are saying is that you would be comfortable with sexless companionship? Now that I think about it, I suppose I should have included that one into the list of possibilities...I'll go edit.

[anonymity Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close anonymity]

Ok my answer; something got broken. My wife no longer wants sex for whatever reason. So with that in mind then I stay, go to work, still have fun, barbeque, do my thing and just be what I have always been without the sex. Would I like it? No but at times that's they way things work. I'm just not a solo sex type of guy.

I'll tell ya, this is what I did for 10yrs. It was a long hard decade. Not sure if I'd want to go through that again.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Cusp...so what you are saying is that you would be comfortable with sexless companionship? Now that I think about it, I suppose I should have included that one into the list of possibilities...I'll go edit.

Would I like it no. If it had to be then that's they way it is. There are far more important things in life than sex.

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

mind went blank, and I don't know how to delete post. Sorry.