Are you a man? Or a male?

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

There's someone for everyone, yes, just be yourself to be able to find your match.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but are you guys implying that current society teaches men to be lame and weaklings, and that in order to be oneself he has to man up and act differently?

IMVHO, there's no contradiction between being gentle yet manly its called a gentleman relationships fail for so many reasons, not just the "alpha" stuff, whatever that term means, and there are those who get it totally wrong and think that they need to be doormats to get attention or to keep a partner, I think being ones self means just that, regardless.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

There's someone for everyone, yes, just be yourself to be able to find your match.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but are you guys implying that current society teaches men to be lame and weaklings, and that in order to be oneself he has to man up and act differently?

IMVHO, there's no contradiction between being gentle yet manly its called a gentleman relationships fail for so many reasons, not just the "alpha" stuff, whatever that term means, and there are those who get it totally wrong and think that they need to be doormats to get attention or to keep a partner, I think being ones self means just that, regardless.

Being a gentleman isn't being gentle. It's about being noble. It's a comment on one's overall character, rather than a specific trait.

Yes, I am implying that society does promote lame, weak behaviour from men.
"change" has a lot of different reactions from people. When I'm talking about change, I'm not saying John should start acting like Tom. I'm saying that John needs to stop being a little wussy, figure out what's blocking him, identify his fears, face them, and pull who he really is out of himself and act like himself.
Change in the way that I discuss it talks about adopting beliefs and behaviours that promote growth of consciousness

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

Being a gentleman isn't being gentle. It's about being noble. It's a comment on one's overall character, rather than a specific trait.

Yes, I am implying that society does promote lame, weak behaviour from men.
"change" has a lot of different reactions from people. When I'm talking about change, I'm not saying John should start acting like Tom. I'm saying that John needs to stop being a little wussy, figure out what's blocking him, identify his fears, face them, and pull who he really is out of himself and act like himself.
Change in the way that I discuss it talks about adopting beliefs and behaviours that promote growth of consciousness

Nobility is great, I was oversimplifying, and maybe trying to be "funny" but you are right.

Out of curiosity, define "being a little wussy" and how is society promoting that.

[Mr. TeenieWeenie Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mr. TeenieWeenie]

Sorry guys I don't mean to hijack this thread but if you guys can quickly chime in on what YOU think on the following:

1. The amount of men and women who know there is self-improvement/dating/PUA material out there? give percentage.

2. The amount of men that actually use this material very passively(what I mean by this is they read the material casually, may take something from it but may choose not to apply it or know how to apply it, or read it as entertainment and not self improvement)? give a percentage.

3. The amount of men that read this and practice over this material and become very proficient(The guys that do identify with the PUA scene or are very involved in it. The active PUAs)? Give a percentage.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

Nobility is great, I was oversimplifying, and maybe trying to be "funny" but you are right.

Out of curiosity, define "being a little wussy" and how is society promoting that.

LOL oh snap, did I pull a Mr. BB? Did I take a joke too seriously or something?

Sure. Being a little wussy is taking the easy way out of things that you'd rather do, because you're too afraid to go out and do them. Let's say that there's a woman walking down the street and you'd like to go and meet her.
Assuming that you have the time and the desire to go and meet her, you either wuss out or you act. If you let your fears hold you back, that's wussiness!
Oh yea, wussy-like behaviour also includes things like doing things just to get others to like you. So, maybe you won't say that controversial thing because it may rock a boat or two. Or maybe you'll laugh at all of their jokes, even if they aren't funny, just because you want to keep things nice. You may be afraid of conflict. Maybe you do everything someone asks because you don't know how to say no.
Stuff like that.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

I won't read it because you asked me not too.

I will say at all times in my life I needed something from my husband. Some how he was able to provide what I needed. It was never material things. But one day I realized his well was dry. There was nothing new coming out of him. What I needed he couldn't provide nor could I. It was and still is a terrible shame.

When I was a teen no one ever taught me to look down the road 20 or 30 years. What teenager can think like that anyway?

My conclusion is crom the start I wasn't myself. Had I been he would have known I needed way more than I asked for. He could have decided nope I can't help this girl better bail now.or said I better step up my game now I can see this girl is on a mission.

Instead I did more than I should. Took on way more than I should have. Thinking because I could handle it then his life would be easier. I never once thought a time would come when I would be too tired.

So yea whoever you really are show your partner. Don't take the man out of the man. Don't take on too much.

That's what I learned at least.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

Mr teeny weeny, I don't know. I really don't know. I'm sure most people have heard about it at least at some point.
Most of those people have probably glanced at something at some point.
But a very small percent of them will make this a long term thing. Most go down the route of instant gratification and immediate results.

or maybe they don't see the bigger picture. Who knows.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

LOL oh snap, did I pull a Mr. BB? Did I take a joke too seriously or something?

Sure. Being a little wussy is taking the easy way out of things that you'd rather do, because you're too afraid to go out and do them. Let's say that there's a woman walking down the street and you'd like to go and meet her.
Assuming that you have the time and the desire to go and meet her, you either wuss out or you act. If you let your fears hold you back, that's wussiness!
Oh yea, wussy-like behaviour also includes things like doing things just to get others to like you. So, maybe you won't say that controversial thing because it may rock a boat or two. Or maybe you'll laugh at all of their jokes, even if they aren't funny, just because you want to keep things nice. You may be afraid of conflict. Maybe you do everything someone asks because you don't know how to say no.
Stuff like that.

LOL,

Well, in that sense, I agree with you, even-though I think wussiness is a rather natural inclination than a learned behavior.

I was under the impression that we are discussing the nice guy bad guy all over again but in different terminology, now things are clearer, thank you.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

LOL,

Well, in that sense, I agree with you, eventhough I think wussiness is a rather natural inclination than a

I was under the impression that we are discussing the nice guy bad guy all over again but in different terminology, now things are clearer, thank you.

When it comes down to it, a wussy lives his life in the realm of fear, trying to please others. That may be the nice guy. The nice guy stereotype has a lot of wuss-like behaviours. But then again, so does the bad boy. Abusing women is pretty wussy behaviour is you ask me.

[Roguish75 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Roguish75]

What makes you think I'm not up to date on the current PUA theory? What makes you think I'm not a PUA myself?

oh I don't know, maybe because of the stupidity of your statement?

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

oh I don't know, maybe because of the stupidity of your statement?

That's uncalled for.

You want to make an argument, go ahead but don't call me stupid.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VXXXX9iVPI

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

Only I'm allowed to call people stupid. Everyone else has to play by the rules. No one's going to be name calling anymore, right guys? Cool. Glad you agree.

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

Plain and simple: Lousy people can be from any gender, any race, any place, any time. Good people too. There is a lot that is stereotypical, and there is a lot that is unique.

If your woman is good.......cherish her. That is what love is about.

If your woman is so bad that you can't stand your life........Find someone new or stay single.

If she is somewhere in between, then your life is average and you should both try to cultivate things so that you achieve happiness and contentment. Love and cherish her anyway!! ;-)

No book or phrase can singly pinpoint anyone. We all vary and we are all the same!! ;-)

[Joint-Expansion Senior Member Member of the Month August 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close Joint-Expansion]

This is actually a very interesting read so far. I can actually agree with much of the material, as I have been shit on by a few gals when I was overly nice and accommodating, and when I was more detached and had a not giving a crap attitude, they seemed to always blubber over and chase after me.

The only thing I wonder about these types of techniques is how do they work in serious long term relationships, and or marriage?

I know for certain that women will most times pick the dude with higher testosterone and who is more masculine than the "nice" guy, who more often than not gets treated like a door mat and / or cheated on / dumped for a guy who many would classify as an a-hole, or a player.

But have any of the guys who write these things ever been in a serious, long term relationship, or lasting marriage? Or is this mainly for dudes looking to rack up tons of vajayjay?

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

Joint, I think it has to do with investment in another person.
Actually, I think there's a LOT involved, but the word investment came to mind so that's what I'll talk about.

I think when a guy meets a girl and he's super nice, giving her gifts, buying her meals, laughing at all her jokes ... he's showing TOO MUCH investment. It's basically communicating "You already have me." Where's the work? Where's the fun of the chase for her?
When the guy is more aloof and not caring (less invested in her) at the beginning, it's like... Does he like me? Does he want me? It creates suspense, intrigue, mystery, if only a little bit. It ups the challenge of "getting" him.

As the relationship rolls along over time, I would imagine that the level of investment will still play a role. I mean, He can't just *not* care about her for the whole relationship. He has to invest at some point. But, he also can't become needy, or overly-invested.

A lot of the pickup material out there is just that: material to pick girls up. What happens after? Well that's a mystery! That's why I like guys like David D., because he talks about long-term processes for getting what you want through the overcoming of your own inner nonsense.
He repeatedly says, "once you have your inner stuff worked out, the rest just falls into place."