Am i being a weak bitch?

[this-moment Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close this-moment]

So me and my gf got on the topic of ex's awhile ago (I know shouldn't have went there). Apparently my gf's last ex was an inch longer than me and slightly skinnier than me or about the same girth. So hes probably 8bpel 5eg. Shes orgasmed from riding him and she hasn't with me. I guess I feel like I don't measure up. I know I satisfy her sexually because she says Ive given her the best head shes ever had and I didn't ask she just told me so I know she isnt saying this to satisfy my ego. Idk why this bothers me so much because I know it doesn't bother her at all and I know she never even thinks about it. I know this girl is crazy about me because after 2 months of seeing each other she was the first one to say "I love you" and she kept saying she's surprised because shes never been the first one to say that. She also said that in her past relationships she never really cared, like she could care less if things ended or not. But with me she says shes never had this strong of feelins for anyone before. I know I am being weak about letting something like this bother me because I know its just all in my head but I just cant shake it.

I should also mention that shes technically not my gf because I havent committed to her yet. We aren't seeing other people and she really wants to date me and she keeps bugging me about it and i just make excuses. I've been seeing this girl for 4 months now and it feels like were dating. We see each other almost everyday and we say "i love you" to each other but im just worried that If we put a title on it the "I dont measure up" will probably bother me a lot more. Plus I use to be a massive player and part of me still wants to play the field while the other part of me is madly in love with her.

So my question is:
Why does it bother me so much that her ex was bigger than me when it clearly doesn't bother her?
Am I leading this girl on? I care about her a lot and I don't want to hurt her and I will never cheat on her.
Should I just ask her to be my girl friend or am I to messed up to be in a relationship?
Does anyone else have experience dealing with their girl having bigger past partners? If so how did you deal with it?

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

So you're never going to fall in love or date a gal that had a bigger dick than you? Hmmmm! I'd be alone right now at my size.

[this-moment Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close this-moment]

Yeah its ridiculous. I know its something i need to get over if I ever want to be in a happy relationship because the chances of a girl having an ex bigger than me is pretty high at my size.

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

Who cares, you're with her now. Unless you want to take her exe's cock don't ask about it, it's none of your business anyways.

Never ask a question that you know you don't want to hear the answer to. Just assume you're both right and wrong (Schrodinger's cat analogy) until verified either way.

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

Sounds like your issues are all your own, this moment. I never ask my partners about their other sexual relationships. You're left battling a ghost, with no resolution in your mind. Try to live for the moment, this moment!! She's told you this ghost guy doesn't compare with the sex you and she have now, so believe her and let it go!

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

Yeah its ridiculous. I know its something i need to get over if I ever want to be in a happy relationship because the chances of a girl having an ex bigger than me is pretty high at my size.

Not that it helps but she's probably had more sex partners than you, done things with them she won't do with you, and told every one of her boyfriends the same things she's telling you.

Oh, I know it hurts but you need to get over it.

You can bitch about it and be lonely, or accept it now and stay with her. When you really think about it her past is what brought her to you. I think you can at least appreciate that.

[this-moment Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close this-moment]

Not that it helps but she's probably had more sex partners than you, done things with them she won't do with you, and told every one of her boyfriends the same things she's telling you.

Oh, I know it hurts but you need to get over it.

You can bitch about it and be lonely, or accept it now and stay with her. When you really think about it her past is what brought her to you. I think you can at least appreciate that.

Ive been with more than her but thats because im 22 and shes 18. but yeah your right and it would hurt more to let her go.

[kickinthemebs Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close kickinthemebs]

I duno, probably.

[this-moment Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close this-moment]

Sounds like your issues are all your own, this moment. I never ask my partners about their other sexual relationships. You're left battling a ghost, with no resolution in your mind. Try to live for the moment, this moment!! She's told you this ghost guy doesn't compare with the sex you and she have now, so believe her and let it go!

I usually dont ask but she asked me questions about my past partners and kept bringing it up so it got me thinking about it. She also told me stuff that i didnt want to hear nor did i ask but thats besides the point. I guess my ego is getting in the way. Your right i need to live in the moment. Haha that made me laugh

[Praetorian Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Praetorian]

So my question is:
Why does it bother me so much that her ex was bigger than me when it clearly doesn't bother her?
Am I leading this girl on? I care about her a lot and I don't want to hurt her and I will never cheat on her.
Should I just ask her to be my girl friend or am I to messed up to be in a relationship?
Does anyone else have experience dealing with their girl having bigger past partners? If so how did you deal with it?

Hmmm...I have a philosophy degree yet your questions are more difficult than my examinations on the existence of God, looking at whether our existence is deterministic or not and if we really exist at all (nice one Descartes).

Well, it seems to be a weakness in the armour of the male psyche that we are cursed with envy over the weapons and holdings of rivals. Bigger castle, bigger warhorse, bigger sword, bigger banquet hall...it makes us feel somehow less. So, I just go back to what I know to be true. A bigger castle makes a man no more a man than a bigger dick. It his his bearing, his honour, humility, confidence, ability to care for and protect others, spirit of friendship and strength against adversity that contribute to manhood.

The second question...well only you know. You don't want to hurt her, you feel a sense of fidelity and you care about her a lot. Why not have her as a girlfriend with all of these things if she cares for you? It is just a word and you are not trapped by it. It may actually make you feel free to give the relationship a chance to grow and see where it goes. You are only leading her on if you have made promises that you don't intend to keep.

You have expressed doubts and hesitation. In the case of whether you are messed up or not and whether that should necessarily make a relationship unobtainable...only you know. I think that you are just processing things outside your sphere of control which don't matter to your current situation.

Every girlfriend I've had has largely been a great experience (except for one or two bunny boilers). I was too busy having a good time, going out to great events or dinner with them, enjoying time alone, having awesome sex which I did in my own style, with effort and without thought of who had been before me and largely be a satisfying and caring partner. That is what I like to think.

Don't worry about what exists outside your sphere of control. Focus on what is here now that you can work on and which you should work on because it is worth it. When you have worked out how much you really care about this young lady, you will know the worth of it and give it a chance. It doesn't matter who has been there before...they are just ghosts in your mind now.

Hope this helps!

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

Glad I could lift your spirits a bit! A couple of posts up you said she's 18 & you're 22, so I'll offer a little more wisdom you might find helpful...

Whenever I had partners who voluntarily began sharing unsolicited info about previous conquests, I always tenderly put my finger to their lips and told them "I am not a priest, so I never hold confessionals"...and it
always worked!

You see (unless they're complete BIMBOS), you are discreetly communicating that you don't "kiss & tell" (and also inferring that you don't respect those who do), without having to actually say it.

Hope it works for you.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Love yourself first. Then you can love someone else. Have no doubt. If you have something about yourself that you Dont like then change it. You have the power and control over yourself and your responses to stimuli. She is immature, and obviously so am I. So are you. When a topic like this comes up just tell her straight up " I am not going to talk about past lovers, please drop it.". When this topic comes up in your head firmly tell yourself the same thing. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Love yourself enough not to keep hurting yourself, especially as stated above about things outside your sphere of control. You will be, and already are wonderful. Love and peace, brother, love and peace.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Damn, there are so many young guys on this site with decent dicks, or bigger, with issues with themselves. Self doubt should be left to us old limp dick guys like me. To anyone on this site under 30...... Relax... Just bang the shit out of her, slowly of course.

[this-moment Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close this-moment]

I absolutely love this site! So much wisdom being thrown around, its awesome. This is helping me a lot with sorting this all out in my head.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Damn, there are so many young guys on this site with decent dicks, or bigger, with issues with themselves. Self doubt should be left to us old limp dick guys like me. To anyone on this site under 30...... Relax... Just bang the shit out of her, slowly of course.

Oh Party, it is so true for us old ones also. We have to be able to do as we preach. Now join me brothers gab your penis, look right at it and say with me, "I love myself, and I love my penis. I am wonderful, and so is my penis."