Inexperienced guys

[MilkSteak Member Find all posts View Profile Close MilkSteak]

So I'm still pretty new to sex and I definitely have room to improve. I made a post on here about losing my virginity last weekend, and I was wanting a woman's point of view. So, my first time, I was pretty drunk, and the girl I lost it to was pretty understanding. Thing is, I kinda wonder if she lied to me about a few things. So, we started kissing and she said I was a good kisser and that I was a natural when I went down on her, but I found out the other day that apparently she told my buddy's girlfriend, which is her good friend, that I wasn't the best kisser, but she's willing to help me get better. I'm not too butthurt about it. I mean, I'm still new and I understand I have a lot to learn, but I was wondering is it normal for some girls to lie like that? Do girls mind dealing with inexperienced guys? I mean, I hooked up with another girl last night and we didn't kiss too much, plus my mouth was dry as hell from alcohol, but I asked her honestly if I was bad or not, and she said I was doing fine. They both seemed to really like me, at least for fun, not a relationship. It definitely helped my self-esteem, but I still find myself being a little insecure, because the first girl said I was "fine as fuck" and "sexy" and that I should be confident, but I have trouble with compliments. I mean, even if she lied about my kissing, I highly doubt she'd lie about me being "fine as fuck" because she said I wouldn't be in the bedroom with her if I wasn't. Anyway, any feedback would be highly appreciated.

[Yotguy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Yotguy]

Don't beat yourself up. Be natural and who you are. If they are not happy with that you don't need 'em. The right one for you will appreciate you.

[TomFoolery Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TomFoolery]

Much like everything in life you get better with practice and the refinement of technique. Just enjoy yourself and ask what the woman wants while looking for visual and auditory clues as to what she is enjoying. Hard to go wrong when you are an observant & attentive lover.

[Holm Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Holm]

Never ask if you are bad at anything you do, especially towards girls. It makes you seem unconfident and nervous, which are the last things you'd want to radiate. Be tender and thoughtful, yet decisive and passionate. A hard balance to get right, and different girls have different cravings for each.

For some tips in regards of kissing; don't use your tongue too aggressively, a lot of girls don't like that. Some do, and you'll know by how much they're using their tongue on you. The tongue is generally reserved as a 'cherry on top', not as a main point of action. It is also a good idea to use your hands to caress their face, head and body while you're kissing. Nothing too far down the line, like going straight for the pie from the get-go. Observe how her body is moving. If she rubs her body against yours, it probably means she is getting more aroused and wanting the act to progress further.

As for the actual fucking, be sure she is aroused and wet enough for penetration. Don't ask her if she is ready. Just work your way down slowly to her vagina, and feel if she seems sufficiently wet and engorged. Don't stick any fingers inside until you've massaged the area around her lady parts, and then the outer part of her genitals (the vulva), using your whole hand with slow and easy strokes. It may be worth to tease her a little, and let her wait for each new progression. Maybe even go back one step and start over again, to really frustrate her (in a good way). I've also found quite a few girls really enjoy getting stroked along the sides of their clitoris, just barely coming in contact with the main button.

Sex is a lot about anticipation. Waiting and yearning for what comes next. If you can build up the excitement for each new progression, you have yourself a winner.

Some women say one of their favorite parts about penetration, is the very first thrust. In a way, I suppose it establishes the terms of the rest of the intercourse. Put your glans just on the outside of her vagina, massaging her with your penis with small circular strokes. Maybe even gliding the underside of your shaft along her vulva and over her clitoris some times, as if you're slowly fucking the outside of her body. Look at her face to see if she enjoys it. If it doesn't seem to do anything for her, move along. And if she likes it, continue doing it until you get that wide-eyed, mouth-gaping face, and drill it into her. Some girls like taking the whole dick in the very first thrust, hard to the hilt, and staying there for a few moments till her vagina has gotten accustomed to the penis. While I believe the majority prefers taking the first thrust slow, easy and gradually. Working your way all the way in slowly with circular movements, or going just a fraction of an inch deeper with each slow thrust.

When I started having sex, I had gotten the idea from years and years of watching porn, that women preferred being fucked hard and fast. I'd say women very seldom enjoy that until they have been warmed up a little first, and maybe not even then. I learned the hard way, after two women told me to stop fucking because they wanted to sleep, in the middle of the act. So in the beginning, slow and easy does it. Listen to her breathing and moaning, to evaluate if she could take it harder (although hard sex is not a goal, in and of itself).

I got a lot better at sex after I started considering penetration as sort of a penis-massage for the vagina, instead of a mere pumping action to build up pressure, as is the case with male masturbation. I've read a lot of women saying that, that having sex with a man can feel like he is basically just masturbating himself inside of her. Which is a total put-off. Try adjusting your angle to hit different areas inside of her, and use different motions to rub against her walls in steady rhythm. I like to imagine that my penis is a dolphin, swimming around, back and forth, inside her vagina, with playful and elegant movements.

This woman has a lot of good practical advice on being a good lover:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBaprHhD6CA

[MilkSteak Member Find all posts View Profile Close MilkSteak]

Never ask if you are bad at anything you do, especially towards girls. It makes you seem unconfident and nervous, which are the last things you'd want to radiate. Be tender and thoughtful, yet decisive and passionate. A hard balance to get right, and different girls have different cravings for each.

For some tips in regards of kissing; don't use your tongue too aggressively, a lot of girls don't like that. Some do, and you'll know by how much they're using their tongue on you. The tongue is generally reserved as a 'cherry on top', not as a main point of action. It is also a good idea to use your hands to caress their face, head and body while you're kissing. Nothing too far down the line, like going straight for the pie from the get-go. Observe how her body is moving. If she rubs her body against yours, it probably means she is getting more aroused and wanting the act to progress further.

As for the actual fucking, be sure she is aroused and wet enough for penetration. Don't ask her if she is ready. Just work your way down slowly to her vagina, and feel if she seems sufficiently wet and engorged. Don't stick any fingers inside until you've massaged the area around her lady parts, and then the outer part of her genitals (the vulva), using your whole hand with slow and easy strokes. It may be worth to tease her a little, and let her wait for each new progression. Maybe even go back one step and start over again, to really frustrate her (in a good way). I've also found quite a few girls really enjoy getting stroked along the sides of their clitoris, just barely coming in contact with the main button.

Sex is a lot about anticipation. Waiting and yearning for what comes next. If you can build up the excitement for each new progression, you have yourself a winner.

Some women say one of their favorite parts about penetration, is the very first thrust. In a way, I suppose it establishes the terms of the rest of the intercourse. Put your glans just on the outside of her vagina, massaging her with your penis with small circular strokes. Maybe even gliding the underside of your shaft along her vulva and over her clitoris some times, as if you're slowly fucking the outside of her body. Look at her face to see if she enjoys it. If it doesn't seem to do anything for her, move along. And if she likes it, continue doing it until you get that wide-eyed, mouth-gaping face, and drill it into her. Some girls like taking the whole dick in the very first thrust, hard to the hilt, and staying there for a few moments till her vagina has gotten accustomed to the penis. While I believe the majority prefers taking the first thrust slow, easy and gradually. Working your way all the way in slowly with circular movements, or going just a fraction of an inch deeper with each slow thrust.

When I started having sex, I had gotten the idea from years and years of watching porn, that women preferred being fucked hard and fast. I'd say women very seldom enjoy that until they have been warmed up a little first, and maybe not even then. I learned the hard way, after two women told me to stop fucking because they wanted to sleep, in the middle of the act. So in the beginning, slow and easy does it. Listen to her breathing and moaning, to evaluate if she could take it harder (although hard sex is not a goal, in and of itself).

I got a lot better at sex after I started considering penetration as sort of a penis-massage for the vagina, instead of a mere pumping action to build up pressure, as is the case with male masturbation. I've read a lot of women saying that, that having sex with a man can feel like he is basically just masturbating himself inside of her. Which is a total put-off. Try adjusting your angle to hit different areas inside of her, and use different motions to rub against her walls in steady rhythm. I like to imagine that my penis is a dolphin, swimming around, back and forth, inside her vagina, with playful and elegant movements.

This woman has a lot of good practical advice on being a good lover:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBaprHhD6CA

Goddamn Casanova haha. Thanks for the tips. Yeah it was kinda dumb to ask her that, but I was drunk as fuck. I actually thought I did pretty decent. I didn't go straight for her pussy. I kissed down her body and kissed around her legs, then played with her, but yeah it will just take experience. I'll definitely try those tips out.

[Holm Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Holm]

Goddamn Casanova haha. Thanks for the tips. Yeah it was kinda dumb to ask her that, but I was drunk as fuck. I actually thought I did pretty decent. I didn't go straight for her pussy. I kissed down her body and kissed around her legs, then played with her, but yeah it will just take experience. I'll definitely try those tips out.

It says something about you that even when being drunk, you still cared about how she was enjoying the experience. And asking her about it, is just a natural and normal instinct. The fact that you're coming here asking for tips and advice to please a lady, already has you at a big advantage to most other guys, I believe. As long as one genuine wants to satisfy a woman, and put her pleasure before one's own, most of the battle is already won.

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

You're just beginning to learn about the physical aspects of sex MilkSteak, so don't put pressure on yourself regarding your "performance". That just leads to anxiety, which is never a good way to build your sexual confidence. Lay off the booze too, and try having "sober sex"! You'll discover that your sensitivity & ability to perfect your sexual "technique" will be greatly enhanced by having sober sex, too.

[MisterBator Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MisterBator]

Don't worry about little white lies about you may not being the best kisser or whatever. The idea is that you aren't bad, have maybe some room to improve, but get an A for effort. Effort is what counts most my friend. Just like men, women don't fret too much over small details as much as the overall experience being pleasurable. Maybe she's got some cellulite on the back of her thighs? Do you care? FUKIN DOUBT IT. Does she think it's a big deal? Probably. You see, what we perceive to be a big deal a lot of times really isn't. Just enjoy yourself man and keep trying to get better with each experience. You're on the right track I think, and will be an esteemed sex god in no time.

Oh and never ask a woman if she enjoyed herself or to critique you. It just kind of ruins the mood. If they want more they'll come back. A good thing to ask though is what she would like that you aren't doing so you can please her better.

[bmee193 Member Find all posts View Profile Close bmee193]

Great advise given by all. Take it in and learn from these posts. If only I would have found a forum like this back when I was in high school..lol

Keep your head up Milksteak and try and stay confident. Don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy exploring new things. As Jock said you are just beginning to learn about the physical aspects of sexual nature. This is your time to have fun and you should be enjoying these encounters.

[MilkSteak Member Find all posts View Profile Close MilkSteak]

It says something about you that even when being drunk, you still cared about how she was enjoying the experience. And asking her about it, is just a natural and normal instinct. The fact that you're coming here asking for tips and advice to please a lady, already has you at a big advantage to most other guys, I believe. As long as one genuine wants to satisfy a woman, and put her pleasure before one's own, most of the battle is already won.

What can I say? I'm a sweetheart.

[MilkSteak Member Find all posts View Profile Close MilkSteak]

You're just beginning to learn about the physical aspects of sex MilkSteak, so don't put pressure on yourself regarding your "performance". That just leads to anxiety, which is never a good way to build your sexual confidence. Lay off the booze too, and try having "sober sex"! You'll discover that your sensitivity & ability to perfect your sexual "technique" will be greatly enhanced by having sober sex, too.

Yeah I need to avoid alcohol in general anyway. I'm looking for a girl right now, but all that's on my plate right now is work, among other things in life. I'm gonna try to go out and talk up some girls.

[MilkSteak Member Find all posts View Profile Close MilkSteak]

Don't worry about little white lies about you may not being the best kisser or whatever. The idea is that you aren't bad, have maybe some room to improve, but get an A for effort. Effort is what counts most my friend. Just like men, women don't fret too much over small details as much as the overall experience being pleasurable. Maybe she's got some cellulite on the back of her thighs? Do you care? FUKIN DOUBT IT. Does she think it's a big deal? Probably. You see, what we perceive to be a big deal a lot of times really isn't. Just enjoy yourself man and keep trying to get better with each experience. You're on the right track I think, and will be an esteemed sex god in no time.

Oh and never ask a woman if she enjoyed herself or to critique you. It just kind of ruins the mood. If they want more they'll come back. A good thing to ask though is what she would like that you aren't doing so you can please her better.

Hahaha, fuckin doubt it is correct. That shit made me laugh. Yeah I definitely didn't care about any imperfections she had, although I will admit she was pretty fucking sexy. Thanks for the tips my friend. I'm gonna just go with the flow and try to learn as I go. I'm a poet and didn't even know it. Yeah, I won't be asking a girl how I'm doing next time. That was a drunk moment, and I was out of line. That's the end of my rhyme.

[MilkSteak Member Find all posts View Profile Close MilkSteak]

Great advise given by all. Take it in and learn from these posts. If only I would have found a forum like this back when I was in high school..lol

Keep your head up Milksteak and try and stay confident. Don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy exploring new things. As Jock said you are just beginning to learn about the physical aspects of sexual nature. This is your time to have fun and you should be enjoying these encounters.

Thanks pal. So, while I'm thinking of it, what is BEG? MEG? I know what BPEL is, but that's about it.

[dodgy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dodgy]

Thanks pal. So, while I'm thinking of it, what is BEG? MEG? I know what BPEL is, but that's about it.

BEG =base erect girth MEG = mid erect girth. Most people go by MEG because base girth shoots up when you do PE, so MEG is a better comparison measurement, and for tracking gains.

I think there's a sticky maybe on the beginners forum explaining the terms used here.

[MilkSteak Member Find all posts View Profile Close MilkSteak]

BEG =base erect girth MEG = mid erect girth. Most people go by MEG because base girth shoots up when you do PE, so MEG is a better comparison measurement, and for tracking gains.

I think there's a sticky maybe on the beginners forum explaining the terms used here.

Tank you.