thinking about cheating

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Agreed, also no reason to feel compelled to cheat. You obviously have a bond with your wife so I guess I think you two should find a way to come together. I wish you all the best.

[BigRooster Senior Member Member of the Month Apr 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigRooster]

Hey masturhjedimik,

My compassion goes out to you, to be forced into sexual and emotional celibacy from someone you love has got to be an incredibly painful place to be; especially since both are human biological needs. And while an affair is certainly one option; it is not without its own complications. Nor is it the only option.

Some couples, for example, who have found themselves in similar circumstances as yours have discussed and decided upon opening up the marriage. It is a mutual agreement whereby the family structure remains intact and monogamous but the sexual aspect is opened up to include others. Does it work for every couple? Of course not but those who have done so successfully indicate a happier marriage as a result.

However, before considering that or any other non-monogamous option, it is usually best to exhaust other possible remedies first. For starters, you may want to take a look at the theory of "attachment styles" and share that with your wife. Perhaps it will provide greater understanding, encourage you two to seek further information and possibly even a solution.

HOW YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE IMPACTS YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Wow TPW, great article.

Good article indeed.

[Park Lib Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Park Lib]

Well, try talking to her once more about what the issues are that are causing her reticence. If she begins to hesitate, then say you will listen to her unconditionally and not react badly because you are on your last legs as a couple anyway. If she gets misty-eyed, then hug her and tell her you are there for her through thick and thin (as that's what being a couple is all about). Only then can you move forward and attempt to resolve issues. Cheating is an admission of defeat in my opinion, an acceptance that you aren't meant to be together (and I read and agree to an extent to Qandisa's post on cheating).

I still feel that there's a place for being a man in these kinds of situations (actually, particularly these kinds of situations) since by and large, men are the rational and women are the emotional (you need both and they complement each other). Yes, old-fashioned but it works all right doesn't it?

[kong15 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kong15]

I can tell you it's not the way. Could be the worst thing you ever do to YOURSELF.