BDSM, anybody else into it?

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

can someone have straight sex with a partner while he is sackpacking his balls into his partner's anus ??
also is it possible to have anal sex while sackpaking, and what does it feel like ??
is squeezing the sphincter have instant pain surge on the testies ?? or are the testies in safe enviroenment once they got past the strait of the anal sphincter ??
would laxative help in case there is a problem ejecting ??

i once seen a video where someone's balls where inserted in some kind of rubber tube and then his parnter forced that tube into her giving him pain and pleasure or i don't know what that was ??
is there an accessory of the sort or does this come from my imagination ??

just curious

I can honestly say I have never heard of this or just don't understand the description totally. Sorry I can't be of help.

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

Emm! Does "water sports" or "golden shower" sticks with the subject of the topic? Anyone else into that kink?

For some people it does as part of humiliation play. Me and the Mr are not into it.

[Islandboy916 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Islandboy916]

Such a cool and informative topic thanks for sharing Mr and Mrs L4M. Me and my gf have been adding my BDSM into our mix. Taking it slow as the the levels of trust and how far we can push ourselves developes, as we like to switch the roles up based off of who is in the wilder mood.

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

Such a cool and informative topic thanks for sharing Mr and Mrs L4M. Me and my gf have been adding my BDSM into our mix. Taking it slow as the the levels of trust and how far we can push ourselves developes, as we like to switch the roles up based off of who is in the wilder mood.

That's the best way to start with BDSM. Slow enough to set up the limits and get trust built into every facet explored.

[Islandboy916 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Islandboy916]

Having an open and honest relationship and both of us being sexual freaks help as well to, haha. We talk about new ideas or areas to explore and if we are ok with what we have talked about adding in the mix. Depends what it is sometimes we will inform the other and watch for feedback or have fun by surprising each other for some fun shock value.

[AmberNguyen Banned Find all posts View Profile Close AmberNguyen]

Yeah that is pretty weird..never heard of that thing before in my life..i guess we all are not on the same track here..i have not even seen this kind of thing in the video as well.

[DeepConcentration Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DeepConcentration]

@ Mr. & Mrs. Looking4more.

Would you say that forgiveness is the one attribute you must have in a BDSM relationship?

Because although you trust the person your with to not go beyond your limits it does sometimes happen. And so one must be able to forgive the other and trust that they've learned their lesson.

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

Forgiveness is a trait that is good in any relationship.
In BDSM there should be no reason to EVER go beyond the other persons limits. That's the whole idea behind having a safe word. Also any hard limits should be discussed and completely understood before engaging in any BDSM activity.

[closed013 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed013]

What is the big deal about tying each other up?


_SR-

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

What is the big deal about tying each other up?


_SR-

You would have to try it to really understand. For the Dom (doing the tying up) it is having total control of the Sub (one being tied up) but also being responsible for their well being. Also the Dom knows he/she has the complete trust of the Sub and that is a real high. For the Sub the high is being able to totally let go and put their complete trust in their Dom. Also they are the one in total control of the situation. With one word everything comes to a complete stop until whatever problem there is has been straightened out. The Sub is also the one getting more of the physical pleasure and/or pain that they desire.

There are so many different aspects to BDSM. Most people think of it as one person tying up and hurting another. Some people do like that. To each their own I always say. The Mrs and I have more of a D/s (Dom,sub) relationship where I am the dominant one especially in the bedroom. There is very little pain involved. Only some spanking and/or flogging but nothing that makes a permanent mark or serious pain. For us it is more of the pleasure that we strive for and believe me, once you've done it a few times, you really get to know your sub and what they like and they in turn want to please you more in any way they can. It's a win/win situation!


All I can say is you gotta try it. Once you do and if it goes correctly, you will find it hard to settle for vanilla sex.

[closed013 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed013]

Thank you for the clarification, please, if you desire so, go into more detail.

_SR-

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

Thank you for the clarification, please, if you desire so, go into more detail.

_SR-

Want details do you?. Any particular things you want details on?

[rollingthunder Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rollingthunder]

What is the big deal about tying each other up?


_SR-

I have been the one to introduce my woman to all of this for the first time.

The first time I blindfolded her and strapped her to the bed, the intense feelings she had were almost completely impossible for her to describe. The arousal signs I witnessed were above and beyond any she had displayed prior, and she is a very sexual woman. I could tell right then how right I had been about her submissive nature.
Not surprisingly, the thing that struck her most was the gentleness and care I showed when removing the restraints and rubbing and inspecting her wrists and ankles. She knows that her safety is paramount to me.
We are now at the point that her legs quiver and her pussy starts running down her thigh if she spots a length of nylon rope.

For my part, yes I get off on control. On her giving it to me without question.
The shear beauty of her bound and helpless is something to see. It's like creating a peice of fine art in my mind.

That is my feeling on the act of bondage.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Hello strangers...

So I've been off in the wild world for a bit, moving to a new country alone, creating a brand new social circle from scratch, basically 100% through fetlife.

It seemed a great start, to met people who were already freer with their sexuality than your average "vanilla", and in that time I have met and encountered many BDSM people, some dabblers, some hardcore protocol, some pain sluts, and countless idiots. The power exchange and power play was interestingly something I was already into. Though I have never and will never be into the extreme beating to a pulp that some people appear to get off on. Honestly I see deeper issues there. Somebody related it to self harm to me today, using pain and torture as a justification and release of possibly the most unhelpful kind. I couldn't agree more.

But

D/s ... is pretty cool. In a way. Some guys seem to attach some cultish extra meaning to it though. When it coes to fucking, hell yeah I'll play all of those games. Hell yeah I'll throw her about and take her roughly. Some girls want me to do that and will just let me do what I want, some will want me to degrade and use them, they WANT to feel like they're just cum dumps and worthless. OK, I can play tht game in the bedroom... but it's just a game. frankly I'd personally prefer a girl to fight back, but maybe that's just me, and maybe that's because I don't like that much role play.

In many circles though, people do this 24/7. collared and cuffed, owned and fully submissive. Like Maggie Gyllenhall in Secretary. I can see how that could work in the right circumstances, where every moment of every day is about your sexuality. However many of those "protocol" types are not actually sexual and the game is not sexual at all. I don't get it.

Actually I think I do. And the film Secretary is a great example, because she was a mentally ill and depressed woman. This total submission validated her self image and self-worth.

See I've been encouraged to accept the fact that I "don't get it" and to take peoples' kinks for what they are, and I was starting to do so, until I met somebody recently who agrees with me, that this world is filled with the biggest fuckups riding BDSM sexuality as some validation of their issues and/or self-esteem problems.

I'm sure that's not the case for everybody, and maybe fetlife is a poor introduction to a worthwhile D/s dynamic, but there is more than a shade of the anorexia gang, not WANTING help because they're somehow COOL to be in the anorexia GANG. I mean this in an analogous / psychological sense, I'm not sayng subs are anorexic.

Interesting world, interesting game, but a community riddled with deeper issues.

just my opinion x

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

@ Rolling thunder I completely agree with your post. I how we feel about it too.

@Spanky Welcome back! I have to agree with you FetLife is not the best place to meet true BDSM'ers (there are some there but most of us that are in the lifestyle for real and did not get into it because of 50 Shades of Grey avoid it like the plague. Understand that BDSM have a huge spectrum withing is umbrella and you have many people that are HARD core pain enthusiast but the majority in my 20+ years of experience is not. The problems is that since BDSM has now become mainstream where it once as taboo, with the mainstreaming comes a lot of posers and abusers than call themselves BDSM'ers, D/s, M/s, S/s but do not even know what aftercare, safeword, soft and hard limits mean. Just because they call themselves any of the above do not mean they are any more than me handling a bat make me a Major League player. Some of this people do not know or follow rules or protocols for safety which invalidates the BDSM motto "Safe, Sane and consensual" and just makes it abuse.

In my humble opinion (OK, I will get off the soapbox now).