Coming to terms.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

Hey everybody,

At some point, or even more than many times (for some unfortunate people), we face things we have to come to terms with, like losing something/someone special, or realizing we will never be able to get/achieve something we desperately need.

How does one accept it and move on, I'm not discussing something specific, but lets say, someone recently faced such problem that they need to come to terms with, what would you suggest for helping them, any advice, or thoughts.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

I did the best that I could do and could do no more!

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

I did the best that I could do and could do no more!

I agree, but this doesn't apply to many things.

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

There's nothing you can do but give that person enough time to grieve and come to terms with it on their own. Sooner or later they always snap out it as the preservation instincts kick in once there's been enough stress and cooler heads prevail.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

I agree, but this doesn't apply to many things.

It applies to all things if you think about it. What do you think it doesn't apply to if I may ask?

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

There's nothing you can do but give that person enough time to grieve and come to terms with it on their own. Sooner or later they always snap out it as the preservation instincts kick in once there's been enough stress and cooler heads prevail.

Also correct, but sometimes the issues are bigger than what preservation instinct can hold, besides, I'm not a fan of leave them to get better on their own school.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

It applies to all things if you think about it. What do you think it doesn't apply to if I may ask?

A mother grieving over the loss of her only child, and she just can't come to terms with not being able to ever see them ever again, so yea she can't do anything about it, but still cant accept that she won't see her child once more, some mothers die from it.

[heretohelp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close heretohelp]

I agree, that person will need to go through a grieving phase that cannot be avoided. I get out of this phase by sheer determination to proceed. Remember, there's always something or someone worth fighting for, even if you haven't met it/them yet.

[kirkoloft Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kirkoloft]

It really doesn't matter what we do in this life. Whatever you do doesn't matter. It's all temporary anyway. Just accept that you're here to live not to accomplish anything. If you choose to do something great or don't it's all the same. One should not have any expectations. our expectations are not necessarily things we need; we are fine without them but we are too damn headstrong to see it. Eventually that won't matter either. Live your life as you please with no expectations and don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks. Even if you choose to be a big criminal, I say go for it. If you are going after something within the realm of possibility then by no means give up on it. But, if you are for instance after being a millionaire before you hit 40 and you're 43 and broke, then beating yourself up about it is the dumbest shit you could ever do. Set a new goal you dumbass, and cut yourself some slack. Personally, I fucking despise people who take life seriously. It's a big joke you fucks, unfortunately, you'll only get it when you're dying.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

I agree, that person will need to go through a grieving phase that cannot be avoided. I get out of this phase by sheer determination to proceed. Remember, there's always something or someone worth fighting for, even if you haven't met it/them yet.

Good answer, but how about realizing that there is no chance for that to ever happen at all, how can one come to terms with that.

[heretohelp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close heretohelp]

Good answer, but how about realizing that there is no chance for that to ever happen at all, how can one come to terms with that.

No chance of there being something worth fighting for? There's always something worth fighting for. How can one come to terms with not ever getting back something they've lost? By loving the time they spent with the lost thing and finding something else to love. The new love will never replace the old one. It will give the life a different purpose.

[anonymity Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close anonymity]

A mother grieving over the loss of her only child, and she just can't come to terms with not being able to ever see them ever again, so yea she can't do anything about it, but still cant accept that she won't see her child once more, some mothers die from it.

Mr.B8, is this an example you are using or is this the situation? Important to clarify as it will direct interactions accordingly.

[Cptchewy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cptchewy]

If they truly never get over it then I would have to think that's more of a deeper issue within them. They have to want to do it, and if they don't, they may die like you said. You can get over a lose but still remember and honor them. Doesn't mean that you don't/didn't care.

Not saying that losing a child would be easy to get over, but life does go on.

[trepan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close trepan]

To live a life and to not have hardships and obstacles affect you is to not be human. A major facet of the core of a being is defined by how they adjust or cope to difficulties. There is no magic formula. Some manage easily, some are destroyed.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

No chance of there being something worth fighting for? There's always something worth fighting for. How can one come to terms with not ever getting back something they've lost? By loving the time they spent with the lost thing and finding something else to love. The new love will never replace the old one. It will give the life a different purpose.

Sad but true.

To the person in grief, nothing is worth fighting for, there are many cases that end tragically, they simply loose hope and faith in everything.

According to each individual, the importance of things greatly vary, I may perceive something of very little importance, while it means everything to another individual, someone may get the feeling that there is no hope for them to get what they need, lets say out of sooooo many tragic experiences, they loose hope, but still cant come to terms with not being able to get that thing, so they suffer lots of indescribable pain, how can they be helped, if possible.