Committed to improvement

[Cephalus Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cephalus]

You must ease into it.

I couldn't do it for 15 minute straight at first, either. You build up your time in the squat because your body adjusts.
If you do it daily (for however long you can hold it) then it will become better with time.

Try to also do RK's while in the squat.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

For the past 6 weeks, I’ve been fixated on learning techniques: how to RK, how to stretch, how to breathe, how to edge, etc. But, I haven’t really spent much time on sexual energy, touching, the experience, connection, and how these things are related to arousal levels and controlling ejaculation.

Doing some research online, I came across this account of a man from Australia who traveled to San Francisco to work with a sex surrogate to fix his premature ejaculation. There are some interesting things they did in their sessions. Maybe this will be helpful for someone.

https://www.shaunthomson.com/2016/12...er-experience/

[Cephalus Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cephalus]

For the past 6 weeks, I’ve been fixated on learning techniques: how to RK, how to stretch, how to breathe, how to edge, etc. But, I haven’t really spent much time on sexual energy, touching, the experience, connection, and how these things are related to arousal levels and controlling ejaculation.

Doing some research online, I came across this account of a man from Australia who traveled to San Francisco to work with a sex surrogate to fix his premature ejaculation. There are some interesting things they did in their sessions. Maybe this will be helpful for someone.

https://www.shaunthomson.com/2016/12...er-experience/

Well, that's a completely new approach to curing pre-e.
Nonetheless, interesting.
Thanks for sharing.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

The more I work on my PreE, the more I feel like there is a piece of the puzzle I am missing. Over the past 2 months, I have mostly mastered RKs, breathing, and have loosened up my pelvic floor. Those “physical” things can be practiced and improved, leading to benefits with edging and real sex.

But, there’s another side of the PreE issue that I haven’t figured out yet. It seems more subtle and harder to understand and practice. What do I do with that sexual energy and intensity of feeling during the first 1-2 minutes of real sex. These feelings are hard to replicate during an edging session. I think they come up from the physical sensations of the partner, the visual, the sounds, the anticipation, the nervous energy, the warmth. I know there are some good threads/posts on arousal. But, I am left to wonder what I do at the point of first insertion.

I know from experience that I can either blow in 30 seconds or achieve control and a plateau during sex. And, I can feel in the first second of sex which way it is going to go. Last night, I felt that I had no control, so I stopped, and battled through my breathing, relaxation, and RKs. After 2 minutes, I dropped my arousal and settled into a plateau. That was the first time during real sexual that I dropped from near the PONR to a plateau around a 7. The plateau didn’t feel as stable as when I slowly creep up in arousal, but I did make it about 10 minutes.

We spend a lot of time on everything we can do before having real sex: stretching, RKs, etc. But, it seems like we should really put together a plan for real sex. What should be done in that critical first two minutes?

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

It was something Big Al told me through email dude.

To be clear: Caution about adding the Reverse Kegel to your routine

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

The methodology of action of rk is easy to confuse. Here it is explained.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...tml?highlight=

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

The methodology of action of rk is easy to confuse. Here it is explained.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...tml?highlight=

That seems to be the best description to how it feels to me. Expansion driven by the diagram.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Quick update:

The RK only routine ran its course for me. I started feeling like my pelvic floor was getting out of balance to the other extreme from where I started. Originally, my pelvic floor was too tight. The pelvic floor stretches and 100%RK routine fixed that issue. Then, I felt like I had a balanced pelvic floor for a few weeks. But then, my pelvic floor, mostly in the back, felt too loose. About a week ago, I moved to a 25%K/75%RK routine. It’s feels close to being balanced again.

Real sex has been going well, meaning I can reach a plateau if we go slow for the first 5 minutes or so. I usually last around 10 minutes. But I feel like the improvements or gains coming from my current routine have tapered off. I think to get to the next level for me (go faster/harder, plateau at a higher level of arousal - maybe an 8), will require me to do something different.

I’ve been following TheZZMan’s idea to play around near the PONR while edging to figure out ways to not go over the edge. I’ve added arousing sounds and thoughts, but like MPolo suggested, I keep the arousing inputs at a moderate level. That’s all I can handle right now.

I’m also trying to learn to be better in bed. Having PreE, has limited me to working a lot on foreplay (oral, manual) over the past 20 years, but I have not had much opportunity to work out how to make the different sex positions work. Cephalus sent me some books of different ideas, guides, and techniques.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Been in my head trying to figure out the best way to describe letting your pelvic floor just go neutral. Best I can come up with is this - When you have to pee, you use certain muscles to get it started and can use those muscles to make your pee stream go harder. Push harder and then release and let things go naturally. No force, no pressure just a hollow feeling that the pee is happening. Capture that feeling and try that when you are edging. That to me is a neutral PF and helps me when PONR is in the picture. Let us know of your trials and if you have any success. Great thread by the way, will help many who have the same issues.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Been in my head trying to figure out the best way to describe letting your pelvic floor just go neutral. Best I can come up with is this - When you have to pee, you use certain muscles to get it started and can use those muscles to make your pee stream go harder. Push harder and then release and let things go naturally. No force, no pressure just a hollow feeling that the pee is happening. Capture that feeling and try that when you are edging. That to me is a neutral PF and helps me when PONR is in the picture. Let us know of your trials and if you have any success. Great thread by the way, will help many who have the same issues.

Thanks, I’ll give that a try.

In the beginning, my go-to strategy was to RK, relax my body, and breathe. That was helpful, but it couldn’t always keep me away from the PONR or help me fight through a PONR to come back down. I’ve found that if I’m near the PONR (but not so close that I have to completely lock down a kegel to stop from ejaculting) if I do a medium hard kegel, it helps me gain some control again.

So, I will continue to play around with RKs, neutral, and Ks to see if I can find a way to navigate around/through the PONR.

[TheR Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheR]

Since doing a 100% RK routine all day, everyday I’ve now become aware that my “natural state” is that my pelvic floor is so tense. I never knew this before but I’ve become aware of the fact it’s always so tight since doing RKs constantly. Is this something you’d expect to find?

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Since doing a 100% RK routine all day, everyday I’ve now become aware that my “natural state” is that my pelvic floor is so tense. I never knew this before but I’ve become aware of the fact it’s always so tight since doing RKs constantly. Is this something you’d expect to find?

My guess is that a lot of people with PreE issues have chronically tight pelvic floors. My wife used to call me “clench”, because any time she put her hand on my butt, I’d have it tightened up. I had PreE, but had no idea that I had a tight pelvic floor and that was a cause of PreE.

Do you feel like you are loosening up from your stretches and RKs?

How’s the edging going? Are you making any progress in your time to PONR?

[TheR Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheR]

My guess is that a lot of people with PreE issues have chronically tight pelvic floors. My wife used to call me “clench”, because any time she put her hand on my butt, I’d have it tightened up. I had PreE, but had no idea that I had a tight pelvic floor and that was a cause of PreE.

Do you feel like you are loosening up from your stretches and RKs?

How’s the edging going? Are you making any progress in your time to PONR?

Yeah that’s probably a better description. Since doing the RKs I’ve noticed when I don’t RK my butt is always clenched and tight

Dont feel any benefit from the stretches as of yet but I know it’s not an easy fix

I also wake up with an erection every morning so I’ve been paying attention to it and I get a lot of involuntary kegals just from laying there. I think my pelvic floor is obviously mega tight so just need to keep persevering

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Yeah that’s probably a better description. Since doing the RKs I’ve noticed when I don’t RK my butt is always clenched and tight

Dont feel any benefit from the stretches as of yet but I know it’s not an easy fix

I also wake up with an erection every morning so I’ve been paying attention to it and I get a lot of involuntary kegals just from laying there. I think my pelvic floor is obviously mega tight so just need to keep persevering

Even after reducing my IK’s during edging, ballooning, and real sex - I still get them really intensely in my morning erection. I’m not sure why. But, it does give me a good opportunity to practice at that time and try to fight through those while staying away from the PONR.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Morning wood in an anomaly, it is not representative of a normal erection during sex. I get them regularly, my wife plays with them regularly, it is a satisfying play, but I could probably never get off as a result. She knows this, and plays with it anyway. It is a wonderful way to start your day. But to me, those erections are different than ones gained through normal sexual relations.