Delayed Ejaculation - DE

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

I'm posting this because there doesn't seem to be a great deal of information with delayed ejaculation, mods feel free to move it if you disagree posting in the premature ejaculation forum, but to my mind it is a very similar thing.

Every girl I have been with I have experienced delayed ejaculation, I can literally keep going and going for hours without feeling like I'm getting there, despite thoroughly enjoying the all the sensations, seeing the - ok I've cum, hurry up and shoot your load look from your Mrs face isn't a turn on (neither is hearing the words Mrs Basset).

Except for one or two times when exceptionally horny I had premature ejaculation (within ten minutes).

I have learnt some techniques along the way I thought I would share:

The main thing I do for delayed ejaculation is have sex as normal, foreplay, penetration, Etc. When I'm satisfied the lady I'm with (the wife) has orgasmed, I withdraw, masturbate, when I feel like I'm close to orgasm I re-penetrate and orgasm/ejaculate inside her, each time doing this spending less time masturbating and more time penetrating before ejaculation (training in this way to respond more to your partner than your hands). This should work better if you have sex often.

I also noticed a post by Draggin on another thread, advocating giving up porn and stopping masturbation, in essence saving yourself completely for your time with your partner, I have noticed that there is less of a delay the hornier I am, so I agree with this, even though I don't always put it into practice.

I have posted this method somewhere else, but thought it would be easier to find if I started a thread on it, anyone else who has this problem and overcome it (or in the process of), please feel free to add to this thread with your experiences, so maybe others out there can benefit from experiences.

Some useful links on DE:-

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...r-balance.html (By imac)

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...ical-cure.html (By Pegasus)

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...lications.html (By Pegasus)

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-effect-2.html (By Pegasus)

[danimal1211 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close danimal1211]

This is a good idea I don't think there's enough info about DE out there. I'm hoping over time strengthening and balancing my PF will help solve it. But I suspect there may be multiple causes so I think it might be a good idea to list symptoms (other than the obvious DE).

1) For me sex has always taken a while. My problem with DE has worsened over time.
2) I've always had to strain my lower legs in order to orgasm. It's been very few times I've been able to orgasm standing up.
3) I'm circumcised and over time have lost so much sensitivity I get no stimulation from the old helmet. Whats left of my frenulum is still pretty sensitive.

Hopefully someone here on the forum has fought and won the battle and can offer there experience and advice.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

For me, it all boils down to my arousal level and how exhausted my pelvic floor is. If I'm really aroused, I don't need kegels to release, but if my pelvic floor is exhausted and I'm not aroused, it of course leads to DE. Yes I can pop a boner without being aroused. IMO if I put masturbation into consideration; I won't really consider too much masturbation as a cause of DE, I will consider masturbation technique to be the cause instead. Also too many handjobs and/or blowjobs from the SO can cause DE during intercourse; if the technique is such a stimulation that the vagina can't replicate.

If one was to turn these things around within such a fashion, they can certainly utilize it to beat premature ejaculation... but if one goes overboard with it, they can definitely end up shooting pool with a nylon rope.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Ok I had De and got over it .
De has come up a number of times onsite.
Anxiety is often associated with de and especially an overfirm masturbation grip.

[danimal1211 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close danimal1211]

Ok I had De and got over it .

What were your methods for overcoming DE? which method/exercise do you think was most beneficial?

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

For me, it all boils down to my arousal level and how exhausted my pelvic floor is. If I'm really aroused, I don't need kegels to release, but if my pelvic floor is exhausted and I'm not aroused, it of course leads to DE. Yes I can pop a boner without being aroused. IMO if I put masturbation into consideration; I won't really consider too much masturbation as a cause of DE, I will consider masturbation technique to be the cause instead. Also too many handjobs and/or blowjobs from the SO can cause DE during intercourse; if the technique is such a stimulation that the vagina can't replicate.

If one was to turn these things around within such a fashion, they can certainly utilize it to beat premature ejaculation... but if one goes overboard with it, they can definitely end up shooting pool with a nylon rope.

Very good post. My sentiments exactly. Kudos. What does SO stand for? Thanx. Oh and how do you exhaust your pelvic floor. How can one do it on purpose?

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Very good post. My sentiments exactly. Kudos. What does SO stand for? Thanx. Oh and how do you exhaust your pelvic floor. How can one do it on purpose?

SO; significant other. Pelvic floor exhaustion; too much kegeling.

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Just had sex with Mrs Basset, 40 mins no ejaculation, even with self stimulation just wasn't getting there, might be because I edged/ejaculated yesterday I'm just not as horny today, despite raging hard-on, so might be partly what you said Jay, I don't or at least haven't yet done conscious kegeling as a part of intercourse though.

Definitely has nothing to do with anxiety at least in my case Pegasus, care to elaborate on your methods/experiences for overcoming this? Since Premature Ejaculation is more common, there is a constant stream of information and ideas how to deal/combat this, on Delayed Ejaculation there seems to be a few scattered threads.

Similar thing here danimal, standing up or kneeling above the wife (while she is in missionary) it's definitely harder to reach the PONR, may be less sensitive partly due to phimosis, I do grip myself quite firm (don't want to slip and punch something/Mrs), but don't cut off circulation either, so I think grip is just adequate.

When wife is on top it does seem a bit easier to get to PONR, the reverse seems to be true for premature ejaculation - with guy on top, engaging leg and butt muscles seems to encourage guys with Pre E to cum.

While I would be happy to continue going at it for hours, the wife gets tired of being humped and gets sore too, it would be nice if we could synchronize our orgasms and one day be able to do a quickie.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Take my word for it a lighter grip is likely to be of benifit .
You may find it hard to orgasm with a lighter grip, it may require some effort to accomplish.
.
Less ejaculations while you are trying to overcome DE is a benifit . If you have a partner avoid ejaculations solo , so edging with a very light grip is ok just no ejaculation. Stay away from porn however when you are with a partner a porno tape in your head may help ,so imagination. I found I had to be vigorous with a partner. I found ejaculating in the presence of a partner helpfull so as per post 1 is good . However keep in mind pent up sperm will make it easier to ejaculate . Anxiety in this case doesn't allways manifest in a standard way it seems to stuff up the normal action of the pelvic floor . Even after I overcame DE I found I often had to create kegels rather than have them happen in a natural way . The normal pelvic floor contractions that happen subconciously during sex and drive to orgasm are disrupted in men with DE.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

I know this might sound strange, but I actually at this point find it easier to dry orgasm than ejaculate . As I have grown older my recovery time between ejaculations has increased, so now many sex sessions are non ejaculation.

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Already started to add the light grip, used lube for edging for the first time ever and got to PONR three times before ejaculation, on my own (no Mrs helping), with no porn, and finished within ten minutes.

I rarely watch porn or masturbate, so I should be like a walking hard-on, but maybe as I get older libido is decreasing, don't have sex all that often either though, mostly wait for the Mrs to be in the mood, but I'm always good to go, I think if I got to put my methods into practice more, I would be seeing results again, but we have been married for 8 years so honeymoon period is over, a fair few of our sex sessions are also non ejaculation too.

Anyway thanks for sharing your experiences Pegasus.

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

A quick update to this thread:-

The use of lube and lighter grip is definitely helping, as well as quicker edging sessions with mindful use of breathing and imagination. The last sex session with the wife, resulted in absence of DE, this is not to say I'm cured, I expect it to be an ongoing process, not that I mind if it gives me the results I desire.

[Dissily Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dissily]

I have a totally different perspective on this, that of a gay man. As a teenager exploring my sexuality I found it took me forever to ejaculate with women. First time I penentrated a man I was gone. Now later in life I can take as long or as little as I like unless someone is also penentrating me from behind while I'm inside a third person. Then I usually lose control very quickly, kegels or no kegels my prostate just takes over.
Hope I haven't given any of you guys nightmares with this confession.

[FinallyBig Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FinallyBig]

I don't have any problem with DE....UNLESS I use a penis pump too much or a vibrator (on my cock). Then with a woman I don't feel as much and it takes me a lot longer to cum. If I don't use anything for awhile I get sensitive again and can cum fast in 10 minutes first go, if the woman is tight. If she is loose then I can last hours.

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Thanks for sharing your experiences gents.