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Manual massage has been mentioned a bunch of times, and I've credited it to part of my success as well. I was thinking about my pre-E journey and felt like making a post explaining my self discovery that I was a tight ass, literally.
It was just a couple minutes into an edging session one day when I felt something move near my anus. I didn't know what it was, but after that sensation, it was impossible for me to keep my PF relaxed and PONR came into play. I never noticed it before, but there was a muscle I was contracting that pulled on the rest of PF and caused enough tension to mess things up.
The exact muscle doesn't matter. It's the fact that I had tension in that area and needed to learn to relax it. I never ventured that far back before. I did tennis ball massage with the ball under my anus, but that was about it. After poking around with my fingers in that area I learned two things. 1) I had tight muscles there that I was tensing without knowing it. 2) My anus was super tight.
I massaged the muscles around the anus like you would any other. Over time they would relax more, and I could tell when they would tense back up. I would warm up by sitting on a hot rice sock. Then I would just press and rubbed the muscles on all sides of the anus, focusing on the tight ones.
As for the anus, the part most people don't want to discuss. It was tight to the point that I couldn't get one lubed finger in it. It would also hurt if I pressed into it (into it, not in it) with moderate pressure. I think the muscles pulling on the anus caused it to tense up in defense.
I'm not saying we should all be able to get a fist in there, but one should be able to relax enough for a finger. Like when the doctor does a prostate test.
To massage it, I would lube it and my finger and start by pressing into the outer part and work my way around the ring. Once I learned to relax enough, I would go in a little bit and rub the inner ring (this is tender). I never really went in past the first knuckle of my finger. I would do this in the shower after letting the water warm up the area. Eventually, I made it to the point I could get my two pointer fingers in at the same time and gently pull in opposite directions. This isn't a gaping exercise, just a gentle pull to learn how to relax it. Not much movement involved.
After a few weeks of this the anus was softer and more pliable when pressed into. The region as a whole was much more relaxed, and I found that I was able to keep my PF more relaxed during edging and sex.
It was just a couple minutes into an edging session one day when I felt something move near my anus. I didn't know what it was, but after that sensation, it was impossible for me to keep my PF relaxed and PONR came into play. I never noticed it before, but there was a muscle I was contracting that pulled on the rest of PF and caused enough tension to mess things up.
The exact muscle doesn't matter. It's the fact that I had tension in that area and needed to learn to relax it. I never ventured that far back before. I did tennis ball massage with the ball under my anus, but that was about it. After poking around with my fingers in that area I learned two things. 1) I had tight muscles there that I was tensing without knowing it. 2) My anus was super tight.
I massaged the muscles around the anus like you would any other. Over time they would relax more, and I could tell when they would tense back up. I would warm up by sitting on a hot rice sock. Then I would just press and rubbed the muscles on all sides of the anus, focusing on the tight ones.
As for the anus, the part most people don't want to discuss. It was tight to the point that I couldn't get one lubed finger in it. It would also hurt if I pressed into it (into it, not in it) with moderate pressure. I think the muscles pulling on the anus caused it to tense up in defense.
I'm not saying we should all be able to get a fist in there, but one should be able to relax enough for a finger. Like when the doctor does a prostate test.
To massage it, I would lube it and my finger and start by pressing into the outer part and work my way around the ring. Once I learned to relax enough, I would go in a little bit and rub the inner ring (this is tender). I never really went in past the first knuckle of my finger. I would do this in the shower after letting the water warm up the area. Eventually, I made it to the point I could get my two pointer fingers in at the same time and gently pull in opposite directions. This isn't a gaping exercise, just a gentle pull to learn how to relax it. Not much movement involved.
After a few weeks of this the anus was softer and more pliable when pressed into. The region as a whole was much more relaxed, and I found that I was able to keep my PF more relaxed during edging and sex.
Member of the Month May 2015
What a relief!
(LOL)!
Well done!
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