I'm A Woman, Ask Me Anything!

[Qandisa Senior Member Member of the Month March 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Qandisa]

Well said! I've been thinking this for a long long time, when someone drops the dumb watermelon quote thing and completely ignores the 9 months of extreme hormonal and body changes. SO told me Childbirth was very painful - but a "nice pain" - don't know what that means tho!

I think "nice pain" in that context must mean "worthwhile". As in hey look at this awesome baby that I had to endure my body being ripped apart to produce! It was hell, but it was worth it!
As opposed to say breaking several bones, which is painful and you don't really get anything awesome out of it.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Being male, I've always wondered why the vast majority of women seem to prefer "planned sex"; I mean where you BOTH know it's going to happen, and it's "PLANNED"!... with candles & a jacuzzi full of bubble-bath, champagne glasses and the ice bucket within arm's reach kinda thing. As a guy, I've always LOVED "SPONTANEOUS SEX", outdoors, unplanned, "combustable" spur-of-the-moment kind of sex that's "hardly" anticipated (by us), but totally "uplanned"! Maybe it's just me, but some of my BEST MOST MEMORABLE SEX was TOTALLY SPONTANEOUS & UNPLANNED!

In my (embarrassingly vast) experience sexually, unplanned sex was ALWAYS better than even the most exotic PLANNED sex (for me), even when I was "GUARANTEED" having sex, it just seems "spontaneous combustion sex" was always more powerful, erotic & sinfully delicious, EVERY TIME! Am I just weird, or is there just such a major difference between men's & women's psyche when it comes to sex? Women who were willing to embrace that reckless, spontaneous, spur of the moment kind of sex were always the BEST (for me), btw! I just wish a greater % of females would "turn themselves loose" emotionally to allow their raw physical sexuality & desire to flow naturally, without reservation. Guys are ALWAYS horny and READY for sex, so it would just be better if more females shared our natural "animalistic" nature for sex! Those few who are free-spirits are just SO MUCH MORE FUN! Unfortunately, they are a small minority, but I've been lucky enough to "discover" a few in my life's journey!...I just wish there were MORE! ...YOUR THOUGHTS?

I wish I was more male I guess.

[GeeMox Retired Moderator Member of the Month April 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GeeMox]

How do you maintained a good relationship with your husband for 30 years?

What efforts do you do to make your husband feel special?

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Zzm perspective is welcome and really appreciated.

[Jobe8302 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jobe8302]

First of all there's no point in comparing dominance to anal because they're not at all the same thing.

SOME women might want a dominant partner for many different reasons. Some just like the aspect of not having to be responsible. It's not uncommon for people who are in positions of power or have a great deal of responsibility to every day life to prefer to be submissive or in similar situations sexually, just like sometimes people who feel powerless and ineffective in every day life like to be dominant sexually. Sometimes they just like the excitement of it, or the slight tinge or danger associated with it.

Anal is a very personal thing - some women are fine with it and some aren't. Just like some men that are and some aren't - there's really no reason a woman should be more into receiving anal than a man would be. And even with those that are they might not be up for it every single time. There are so many other factors involved with anal other than just sexual interest or arousal.

As for the whole giving birth thing - I really wish guys would give that a rest. It's a fallacy, and it does nothing but cause problems. For one thing a newborn baby is nowhere near the size of a watermelon. A newborn is also VERY compressed/squished in there during birth. Also the female body has to go through a fairly lengthy process and a number of changes in order to prepare for and accommodate birthing, that's why labour lasts for hours (and hours). And many - I'd even say most - women actually CAN'T make it through birthing without literally having her skin tearing apart.
It's also worth noting that I have never once heard a woman talk about how pleasant or enjoyable giving birth was. It's a grueling, painful process and I can't imagine why men keep suggesting that just because women endure it then they must be able to happily enjoy other activities that involve large items shoved inside them.

Thank you, you've actually triggered a thought on your dominant/submissive comment. My wife is the boss at her office, which that leads me to believe she's ready to give up control and power, not wanting to be responsible as you said.

For the child birth Vs anal sex thing, that's just the typical male argument. The same as the only time they downsize their penis is when we're trying to convince our SO to do anal sex. I can only imagine how painful child birth is and know that it's not comparable.

For your response to UglyBoy, explaining your thought on a toy Vs the real deal, wow! You're full of spice and I'm hoping you've wrote a book because my wife loves to read....I've asked her to join here like some of you ladies but her response was "just like our toothbrushes, there are somethings we just shouldn't share. You have yours and l stay out of it, but it's there if I ever want to look at it". She had died laughing when reading ZZWomens and I conversation about being related, I did too.

[Frog Senior Member Member of the Month March 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close Frog]

Bill, is that you...what the hell are you doing on a dick site on the internet?

No, seriously. A lot of people are allergic to Tide and a lot of women that have sensitive skin, not that out of the ordinary.

Most of my friends and family have discovered scented laundry detergent creates an array of allergic reactions, plus it interferes with our personal wonderful scent.

[Frog Senior Member Member of the Month March 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close Frog]

My question is: Does the thought of a big dick turn you on? And the sight also

Peace

Yes
As mentioned earlier, the mystery of what's really behind those slacks, shorts or denim is exciting. I've seen male dancers and found them to be gross and the idea of any of those guys touching me repulsive. I'd much rather watch a female in g string and pasties, even though the thought of a woman being sexual with me is also gross.

[Frog Senior Member Member of the Month March 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close Frog]

This sounds exactly like my wife. "Why do you want to fuck my ass when I have a perfectly functional vagina"....I'm going to say because it's forbidden and not allowed. It happened one time and in my defense we were 19, drunk and anal sex was her idea. I wasn't gentle to say the least but I didn't know any better.

On the part about women not pushing something that size out of their asshole, I'm leaning towards you and ZZMan watch completely different porn than I do.

Porn gives the illusion that anal is natural, easy the first time and pleasurable for all women. Nothing could be further from the truth. The preparation for safe healthy anal is extensive. The common consensus among my male and female friends is an astounding NO to anal.

Google what pre anal sex preparation and you might rethink the whole dick in the butt scenario.....and maybe not.

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

How many cats do you have?

None!

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

How do you feel about cheesecake, chocolate, green tea/coffee based desserts? If available, would you take one in a miniature cupcake form.

Don't like cheesecake. I drink Green Tea never had it in a dessert. Love chocolate and coffee flavored anything but would prefer it in an Ice Cream instead of a cake like dessert of any kind.

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

How do you maintained a good relationship with your husband for 30 years?

What efforts do you do to make your husband feel special?

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Zzm perspective is welcome and really appreciated.

That's easy - I listen...and so does he. Adjust when needed and listen some more.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

How do you maintained a good relationship with your husband for 30 years?

What efforts do you do to make your husband feel special?

---

Zzm perspective is welcome and really appreciated.

Never have a discussion when you are angry or upset. That is when the most hurtful things are said. I go to my office and sit and stare at the wall until my adrenaline stops flowing and we can have an adult conversation. I've found that disagreements are usually over something petty and not worth all the emotion spent over it.

If something is on your mind, call a meeting to discuss and get the others perspective.

Learn to use the words - "I'm Sorry" and admit when you are wrong.

Buy her treats out of the blue for no other reason than you were thinking about her. I'm not talking diamonds and expensive things, but things like ice cream, strawberries, or something to make her life easier. It would be things that you don't usually have around the house so that it sticks out as different from the norm. Champagne fits into that category nicely.

Learn to be a great chef and enjoy cooking for the family.

Be playful, remind her how pretty she is, grab her butt as you walk by. Start every day with a "Good Morning" and end every night with "Good Night". Learn to make each other laugh.

Take your vows seriously and never give her any reason in the world to think that your eyes are wandering or that there is even a hint of infidelity. Complete trust in each other.

Life should be fun, you make of it what you put into it. Truly enjoy your partners time together and it is effortless to maintain a solid relationship.

[ArtisticAnarchist Senior Member Member of the Month Aug 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close ArtisticAnarchist]

Also the female body has to go through a fairly lengthy process and a number of changes in order to prepare for and accommodate birthing, that's why labour lasts for hours (and hours).

If one wants to accurately compare pregnancy to anal sex, then one should expect an equal duration of prep work. Ergo, you won't have anal sex until you go through 40 weeks of preparing his/her/your own anus.

[Undead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Undead]

Buy her treats out of the blue for no other reason than you were thinking about her. I'm not talking diamonds and expensive things, but things like ice cream, strawberries, or something to make her life easier. It would be things that you don't usually have around the house so that it sticks out as different from the norm. Champagne fits into that category nicely.

Hah i wish you were my girlfriend...

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

If one wants to accurately compare pregnancy to anal sex, then one should expect an equal duration of prep work. Ergo, you won't have anal sex until you go through 40 weeks of preparing his/her/your own anus.

You can get pregnant from anal sex! How do you think we got so many lawyers?

[KMWylie Senior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close KMWylie]

How do you maintained a good relationship with your husband for 30 years?

What efforts do you do to make your husband feel special?

---

Zzm perspective is welcome and really appreciated.

An important part in any lasting relationship is to understand that it's not always going to be sunshine and roses. Marriage et al is work. And, most importantly, BOTH people have to work at it. If one partner is doing all of the relationship maintenance, eventually they'll feel resentful, unappreciated and used... and that's one sure-fire way to kill a good marriage.

Always work on communication. Communication goes beyond learning how to talk to your partner, but also how to listen to them. It's easy to get defensive when your partner is unhappy. Both people have to learn to step outside of themselves and really try to see what their partner is saying from their perspective. Paraphrase what they're saying to you, in a question, to confirm what you're hearing is what they're really trying to tell you. It's surprising how many times these two things are different. Once you've established what the issue is, and you're both on the same page about that, focus on finding a solution - don't focus on the problem. Move forward with positive changes, don't dwell on the negative past that neither of you can change.

Show how much you love your partner every, single day with physical affection. I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about kisses for no reason. Hugs. Holding hands. Putting your arm around them. Touching the side of their face. These need to be physical displays outside your normal routine. Beyond the typical kiss when you part ways in the morning, or before you go to sleep. These are extra, special, just because I love you displays of physical affection.

Compliment your partner every day. Everyone likes to hear a compliment. It needs to be sincere. "You really did a great job doing XXXX." "I love how you XXXXX."

Remember to say Thank you! There are no chores around the house that either one of you HAVE to do. You may have agreed upon expected chores, but if one of you decided they didn't want to take out the trash...well, they don't really have to. So, be sure to thank your partner for those little things. "Thank you, honey. I really appreciate you doing the dishes." Couple it with one of those little physical displays of affection, and you've doubled down on the love. :-)

Realize the grass definitely isn't greener on the other side... it's just different. Every relationship has problems. No one is perfect. I remember thinking the wife of the neighbor behind us was perfect. She was very pretty and always doing something with her son. Her house and her yard were immaculate. She was so incredibly gracious as a hostess. Yeah, I felt pretty lacking in comparison. Then, as we lived their a bit longer, I started to see (and hear through opened Spring windows) some of the cracks in her glossy veneer. There was even one point, when she was pretty much dragging her husband back home at a neighborhood gathering, because she was done for the night, despite the fact that he wanted to stay, that MrKimberly actually said to me, "I am so glad you're my wife!" So, yeah, that grass was definitely not greener.